Today is Arbor Day.
So go plant a tree…so to speak.
But yes, Arbor Day, or more specifically Trees….is our theme this week, one way or another.
Yes, I know you were expecting something NFL Draft related probably. But fuck those idiots. I can barely stand to watch real NFL during the season anymore. NO MORE SUNDAY TICKET MONEY FOR YOU, GOODELL!!!!! NO SHIT, BUDDY. He thinks I’m joking….I’m not.
You think Imma waste time on a draft of the next class of numbskulls when I can watch NHL playoffs and/or baseball? Hell, I’d watch the WNBA (is the WNBA still a thing, btw?) before I’d watch that draft. One can only laugh at Roger Goodell getting booed so many times. I got my fill on the first two picks last year so….no thanks.
You guys have fun, though. But please, do try not to crash the blog again tonight.
But I digress……
So yes, TREES!!!!!!
Admittedly, I haven’t done the obligatory pic search(es) yet to see how, or even if, this will work. But since I’ve already decided and started writing, and I generally don’t like to go back and change themes mid stream unless I have to (it’s happened twice and I was not happy either time) ….well, I guess this better work. Let’s just say that it’s gonna have to get pretty fucking bad for me to change it, so we’re probably locked into Arbor Day at this point.
Fair warning…this might suck (more than normal).
(Don’t worry….we’ll make it work. Trust me)
See???? Would Michael Madsen lie? Don’t answer that.
Anyway….I like trees.
They give us shade and oxygen and all kinds of good stuff….
Raw material for construction of shelter…..
A place for birds and other woodland creatures to do their shit…..
And also….sometimes hot girls are drawn to them…..
So that seems like a plus, right? In fact there was this one time back in the summer of ’93 when I went camping with the young lady I was dating at the time when we…..
Uhhhhh…..never mind.
This Seems Obligatory:
–
No TMI This Week
As weird as last week was, this week has been that boring. And busy. I’m not complaining mind you, but I don’t have a lot to share this week. Plus I kinda bore (bared? bareth?) a bit of my soul last week. Probably too much, even. Gonna give ya’s the week off this week.
/everyone sighs with relief
But here, have some sexy trees instead……
–
Sexy Mexy Update
Well, this past week was fun…right? Next week, another new DFO’er comes aboard….permanently….translation: He asks to go home and we say “NO”. We also again cross paths with someone we’ve already tangled with. And Dave finds another love…cheating sumbitch!!!!
That’s right folks!!!!! You can’t get it anywhere but here at [DFO]….because no one else would let us post this crap.
Monday, 11am EDT
Go here to catch up if’n you need to.
–
Sports To Hold Your Wood By
Does anyone care about anything right now other than the Stanley Cup and that draft thingy you all seem so excited about?
Do any of you need me to give you links to either of those things? Fiiiiiinne…..
NFL
So I guess the draft is happening, or so I’ve heard. Meh. If you need to read about it you can go pretty much anywhere.
NHL
Pens held on against the Caps to take back home ice. 3-2 final to go up 1-0 in the series.
Ottawa came from behind to melt the Smoothies to take a 1-0 series lead. 2-1 final there.
Tonight:
- NSH at STL (STL leads 1-0) – 7:00pm, NBCSN
- EDM at ANA (EDM leads 1-0) – 10:30pm, NBCSN
MLB
It seems someone has put something in the water in the Baltimore-Washington corridor. O’s/Nats World Series…you heard it here first (relax, I’m joking…but I would also not be opposed, fwiw). You can find tonight’s schedule here.
–
Woodland Sexy
As it turns out, it wasn’t that difficult after all. Though to be honest, some of these are more general nature than truly woodland. I don’t care…I make the rules up as I go along anyway. As if you didn’t already realize that. For instance, since I kinda shorted you earlier on the talky talky, I’m giving you a double issue of sexy instead. Truly an assload of photos this week. They’re better than my words anyway.
But sorry in advance for when it slows your download times later.
Anywhooooo…..enjoy…..
How about a musical interlude?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgaRd4d8hOY
OK, back to it!!!!!!!
OK, back to the real theme then….
That seems like as good as any to end on, I suppose.
–
tWBS Got Lost in the Woods Once….
Nah, just kidding.
But this was taken about two years ago during a fun outing….
Yes, in fact there IS a Hideaway 1. Well, it’s just called Hideaway. But I like Hideaway 2 better.
–
So what have we learned here today? All girls love trees, right?
Alexa….get her!!!!!!
Whew….glad you’re on my side, love. No, you won’t have to do the same to me later. YES, I’ll have dinner on the table on time tonight! No…no no…not yelling….
Can I at least get the good lovin’ tonight?
–
Next week’s TGISF will air live from the west coast. Though some of it will likely have been pre-recorded on the east coast.
I’m already confused again, dangit. Anywhooooo….Have a good weekend folks.
Love ya’s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjCa8i5JDF4
–
I feel like Philadelphia failed to live up to their reputation when they declined to boo Willie Brown’s 103 year-old mother.
[Redacted] brings good quickness and suddenness with his routes. However, his best asset will be on special teams as a returner.
Hint: It’s Antonio Brown! No wonder those fuckheads at espn are all getting fired.
To be fair, Antonio Brown improved by like 30% every year, which is pretty rare and hard to predict.
Two Words: horse steroids
“[Redacted] is an inconsistent practice player and there are questions about his overall commitment to the game off the field. Still, [redacted] has second-day talent. He shows an improved motor on the field and has top-notch pass-rushing ability.”
Hint: you could say this player has a COUCHFUL of off the field issues
It’s time for “Name that mid round draft pick from 5 years ago!” :
[Redacted] is a possession receiver with good size and quality hands. He also does a good job of using his body and frame to shield defenders from the ball. That said, he lacks the suddenness and quick-twitched capabilities to consistenlty[sic] separate.
This Fiddler of Gold just made a deal with the devil for that hit
Deshone Kizer. The mind of Ben Roethlisberger, the athleticism of Peyton Manning, and the accuracy of Mike Vick. At least that’s what he told me he could be.
I’m drunk as fuck already but just wanted to compliment tWBS on some GOOD FUCKIN’ HUSTLE this week on the thread.
How long is it until the NFL wheels out an actual corpse to make a pick?
And they fucking did it
Really wish there was an option on my draft coverage website of choice to go back and look at the same pick’s analysis from last year
I just want to find someone making a draft day comparison to Aaron Hernandez.
What he brings
Hernandez is one of the better pass-catching tight ends in this year’s class. He brings an immediate receiving threat to the Patriots’ offense, and his best ability is running after the catch. He needs to get tougher and more aggressive as a run-blocker.
How he fits
Hernandez will have a real chance to be a receiving target quickly for Tom Brady. The absence of Benjamin Watson creates a real opportunity for him. His blocking will have to improve, but Hernandez likely will play early.
Mike Kafka was only 9 picks later! Think of the draft picks the pats could scam out of the Browns for him!
No I was thinking more of a “THIS GUY. THIS GUY RIGHT HERE REMINDS ME OF AARON HERNANDEZ” comparison
Budda Baker, Zay Jones, Forrest Lamp: it’s like I was creating unfair players for my madden franchise and got bored halfway through naming them.
So the Bears just picked a guy from a university that doesn’t exist, right?
University of Houston?
No, North Carolina
I’m not proud of the fact that I can remember the source of the three ’70s chicks singing.
charlie’s angels
Yep, but not the good ones.
Nashville lookin like they’re gonna go 16-0
So today is the anniversary of my Mom’s death, and my niece’s birthday. How much alcohol is the proper response to that?
All of it.
On an unrelated note, your Shit on a Shingle is very good. I made it with ham and salami and I can only imagine how good it would be with beef.
Never argue with success! That actually sounds really good, might have to give it a try.
Good, because that’s how much I’m drinking
http://68.media.tumblr.com/3b584c0656a5fe6f689326004917b45a/tumblr_omoyueGpcA1tezjkso1_500.gif
She seems nice.
Isn’t Ashland like an online university?
Ashland is what they started calling the University of Texas after Ricky Williams was done there.
I was thinking Andre Rison, but you get the idea.
How the fuck did that skinny dude play center?
Grit
Lol, bears should take another qb, just for shitss and giggles
You should always troll Bears fans. Always.
They should just wait and sign Nacho midseason…then the for-told prophecies will reach full fruition (staying with the horticultural theme).
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/twistedmetal/images/2/23/289879-twistedmetal_axel_large.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20100618112041
So how the fuck are we doing boys?
I had a fun day calling my fellow Bears fans shitheads because they’re complaining about the mitch pick.
The bears took a qb in the first round? And didn’t give up multiple first round picks to do it?
Shut the fuck up. Stop fucking complaining. Christ
I WILL NEVER STOP
Free beer giveaway tomorrow, only to people with your exact name, height, and social security number
Hahaha. You think I have good judgment.
Have you seen Mitch Trubisky play??
That’s under the assumption i would know what the fuck to look for with a college qb
http://68.media.tumblr.com/17d3cdf02df89342d00200f84a56b829/tumblr_omqnixVyAv1tezjkso1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ed753fd1163d0aa8163b217754c05955/tumblr_omp85sK6Tv1tezjkso2_400.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5deba15abb56b40c2d2074b20a387f39/tumblr_ompvdwxBCh1tezjkso1_500.gif
Wow! Pepsi went in a completely different direction after the failure of the “protest” ad.
That would probably be indicative of a MAJOR medical problem.
Advertising has always been contradictory.
BREAKING: Ted Thompson (slingblade) has traded the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th round picks and now owns the entire 7th Round. And a 50 dollar Applebees card.
So my resolution for this year was not to buy any new bottles of alcohol. Beer and wine was, of course, an exception. Which explains why I needed a quarter cup of wine today for spaghetti sauce and bought an entire box.
A “box” of wine or a case of wine? The difference is significant.
Hey you guys. I had the wildest fucking dream last night. I dreamt the Bears made a stupid trade to draft a quarterback who made only 13 starts in college and loves kissing tittiess. Wild, right?
Hey you guys. I had the wildest fucking dream last night. I dreamt the Bears made a kickass trade to draft a quarterback who made only 13 starts in college and loves kissing tittiess. Wild, right?
FTFY
You sonofa…
http://68.media.tumblr.com/85f234ab95ac2a690311a8a25bd10d2d/tumblr_omymsrM4341tezjkso1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c3f12464edcb8b9eaea561fb3a4708aa/tumblr_omv3061lvj1tezjkso1_400.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/78f6e5b37556b595e4bbc2868b0f1ab1/tumblr_omzxrmWHyh1tezjkso1_1280.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5ace7e2fb9d821a2783e9657a5d64f02/tumblr_on0mmm0Dbq1tezjkso1_500.gif
HAI!!!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/64ea657d6b292fbafac509a658706aeb/tumblr_omzxvgpO1K1tezjkso1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/10c9804e0f5fcbf162992939c6b1b2da/tumblr_on0qxnv8vj1tezjkso1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/47c001d78bf7b165ddce933469ed9a07/tumblr_omylfsi5n01tezjkso1_400.gif
Of course the 8 hitter is going to blast a 450 ft. homer vs Max Scherzer (sp?).
In the interest of honesty, I want all the Mets and Nats to hit big long hard dongs tonight because my fantasy baseball opponent (and possibly my real life nemesis) is starting their pitchers.
/ I was never really rooting for you on that bet!
Anybody have a decent stream for the draft?
I’ll have a powerful stream once I start drinkin.
YEEEEEEP!
Is there a ladyboy in there?
Buddy keeps him muzzled
/oh you said there not here
I always ask before I enter anyplace.
are we keeping Draft talk in other thread? Think tWBS may kill us if we don’t. And he DO have guns.
Nah, I’m just being tongue in cheek. Talky yer talky.
Da Fuq do I care?
Guns have been unloaded anyway. Now I gotz to at least think for a few secs before redecorating the walls.
That was a joke, btw.
advocating el beisbol over a sacred GREATER FOOTY event is enough to get one labeled An Ememy of the People. But them pictures is purty…
I’ll tell you what happens. Some of the men will hit the ball with the stick and making the runpoints.
Sure, eventually. But in between the runpoints are a lot of guys missing the ball entirely, then sitting down.
And sometimes they scratch their nuts!
it’s just madness, at least in Lesser Footy when they go down, they writhe
More astute analysis than I’ve ever seen from pro columnists.
I don’t own any cats yet. I did cat sit for a year once!
There’s an inappropriate joke there somewhere, but I’m currently too sober to find it.
Ahem, just leave it to me:
…Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!
Hi everybooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So….sexy trees are really entertaining. It reminds me of furniture porn.
Unrelated : I just rewatched the Frank Grimes Simpsons episode and I was struck by how similar someone I know is to Frank Grimes. If you were a secondary Simpsons character who would you be? I’m going with Prof. Frink, and I’ll probably grow into crazy cat lady eventually.
Sure. Eventually.
Also, I’m currently Barney Gumbel, hoping to graduate to Lenny someday.
I can’t believe this is happening so fuggin’ fast.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-39750240
Sort of on topic: