Your “I Got Some Money ‘Cause I Just Got Paid” Saturday Evening Open Thread

 

Today turned out better than it was supposed to, because I didn’t get rooked into going to my eldest niece’s ballet recital – those bunhead moms are fucking lunatics, and the girls all look like their makeup guns were set to “whore”.

Also, I didn’t have to babysit the youngest two while their mom was at the performance. VICTORY, WHILE LOOKING SUPPORTIVE! Shame really; when their mother texted me to say I wasn’t needed, I expressed disappointment that I had to cancel our chainsaw sharpening lessons. I know about 10% of her believed that was an actual possibility.


So…the Oilers blew a three-goal lead with three minutes to go. And the tying goal was partially the result of Ryan Kesler being an asshole. OF COURSE it went to double-OT, because why let the anger settle down if not to let it burst through at damn-near midnight everywhere but the Best Coast?

I DON’T EVEN HAVE A VESTED INTEREST! Yet I am watching this car wreck like I have a not-insignificant amount of money on the outcome.

Ugh – sports is the worst. I hope little deci_litre and redskyatdawnredskyatdawn grow up to be engineers and worship either our alien overlords or Stephen Hawking’s sentient wheelchair.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Hockey:
    •  NHL:
      • Penguins at Capitals – 7:15PM | NBC / CBC
        • Game 5 – Pens up 3-1
    • 2017 IIHF World Championship:
      • Slovenia vs. Canada – 6:00AM | TSN
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Jazz – 8:30PM | ABC
  • MLB:
    • Yankees at Cubs – 7:00PM | FOX

Hopefully, I get to see “Guardians 2” tonight. After not babysitting, I EARNED IT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I woke up like 3 hours ago. Am I alone? I should go to bed again anyways

Unsurprised

No

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I straight up just hate movie reviewers now. Captain America protects a terrorist that killed one of his best friends parents. A+. Guardians 2 was maybe 20 min too long. B.

Fuck you guys. I am gonna go watch the last half hour and cry for the 20th time.

Unsurprised

Reviewers suck ass.

litre_cola

oh decilitre will be voting for, kodos.

Unsurprised

There’ll be elections in the poison mines?

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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laserguru

Guess who we’ve listening to?
Look at the beautiful… Gretsch!
http://www.cvltnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/CRAMPS5UU.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gretsch and Gretsch?

laserguru

Oh my.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Common reaction to some of Moose’s gifs.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Thorns tied the Reign in your NWSL Pacific Northwest rivalry update

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Wow, the ref is right behind him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pretty sure called it; he started skating in.

Probably grimacing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

pretty sure he’s not flopping either…… maybe his balls did tho.

WCS

75 is a linesman.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

She still has great lips.

Unsurprised

That’s …. racist? Rats are people, too.

Bloody Lethal
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
herodotus450

Since that was only his 8th offense, Marchand only got a mediocre fine and no suspension.

Bloody Lethal

If you want a good show to binge on, I recently watched Patriot. Not the movie with Mel Gibson but the show on Amazon Prime. It was very enjoyable.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Judging just by that gif it looks entertaining.

Bloody Lethal

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Took me 12 episodes to get to a point in Iron Fist that made me truly shake my head, but there it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OqrcUvrbRY

Shogun Marcus

BRING BACK JESSICA JONES.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Forcing myself through this so I understand everything once Defenders starts in…3 months. Holy shit, Marvel is just banging away with this shit.

Shogun Marcus

The patience required seems to be increasing with each series. Cage was alright, but I was really losing interest and it took awhile to finish. I’ve yet to even start IF and what I’ve heard doesn’t motivate me.

Gratliff

I loved Luke Cage and Jessica Jones. Iron Fist isn’t as bad as the moaning would have you think, but it’s still the weaker of the 4, but it’s still well wrapped in the Hell’s Kitchen storylines, so there’s a bunch of returning characters, including Rosario Dawson who is cashing in hard on the Netflix run.

Unsurprised

Daredevil season 2 was great for the fight scenes and Punisher, but that actually seemed to be very little of the entire season. The overall story and all the legal shit was BOOOORRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG and I don’t think I really paid much attention anyway. I barely watched JJ but only made it halfway before stopping because I hated her comic and the character and I was perfectly happy not having a character as truly evil in such a banal way as Purple Man is in my comics. Never saw Cage or IF because i just don’t give a shit about superhero movies anymore.

Gratliff

Cage is very different from the rest. Don’t know if that or Season 2 of DareDevil is my favorite from Netflix. The Punisher shit was so good.

herodotus450

More like, I’d like to BRING myself to completion in JESSICA JONES’ BACK. Jessica Jones is KRISTEN RITTER.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Oh, Canada!

Bloody Lethal
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

What did he expect would happen?

herodotus450

Hmm, alcohol contradicts the effects of a high sodium diet, rigth? Or is it the other way around…

Shogun Marcus

Yes has both.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

He’s dead, Jim.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

If you can think of a simpler way to share Zambonis between cities I’d like to hear it

Unsurprised

Turbocharged?

King Hippo

I had forgotten just how good the late night shower can feel when one has had a shitty day.

/fuck you, this is late FOAR me

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Proud Drumpf voter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

I hope someone tripped their dick into his wife.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
The Maestro

Let’s play some poker, bitches.

King Hippo

I’s in when we gets to 4

Horatio Cornblower

The Cubs have now sent their back-up catcher in to pitch the 9th.

Joe Maddon’s just so wacky!

Horatio Cornblower

By the way, it’s 11-6. Not exactly a hopeless blowout.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

(Bullpen Phone Rings)

Relief Pitcher #1: I don’t want to go in.
Relief Pitcher #2: Yeah, I don’t wanna waste my arm on this!
Relief Pitcher #3: Just ignore it; maybe he’ll put in a position player or stick with the guy on the mound.”
(Screaming from the Dugout on the other side of the field)
Joe Maddon: “I can see you guys from here, assholes! Pick up the fucking phone!!!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Uh, can I have context, because it looks like #81 is trying to get his ass kicked by his own teammates?

herodotus450

Could be shooped, could be practice/warmups

Horatio Cornblower

It has to be edited.

Either that or warm-ups went horribly, horribly wrong.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s from warm-ups. Testicles ruined during warm-ups.

Notice nobody else is around.

Back in the day when I could go to matches I saw Roy take a really hard shot; couldn’t tell where it hit, but he didn’t come out of the locker room until the second period.

Redshirt

Reds Pitcher goes into the game into the 7th Inning with his team leading 12-2. He pitches the last three innings and his team wins 14-2. He earns himself a Save.

I don’t understand baseball.

Bloody Lethal

He got a save?

Bloody Lethal

Oh you know what? If the number of batters faced is enough for the potential tie then it is a save situation. If that makes sense.

Redshirt

So based on that, if the Reds decided to go next level and drop 20 on the Giants, then he would get nothing for this efforts.

Kungjitsu

The rule is 3 innings pitched, never loses the lead, dude gets a save. Enters 7th with 100-0 lead, closes game out 100-99, gets that save. Fewer than 3 innings pitched shit gets complicated.

Bloody Lethal

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King Hippo

Last 3 IP = save in any context, He could have allowed 11 runs so long as CIN has always kept the lead.

Bloody Lethal

Gotcha.

King Hippo

the momentum of these Ice Footy series is most displeasing (except the OTT one, which will still likely go to NYR)

Senor Weaselo

As I said, win Game 6, go up a shit-ton in 7, give it all up in the last couple minutes, lose in OT. It is apparently the nature of the Ice Giants these playoffs.

Bloody Lethal
Redshirt

Aubrey Plaza is awesome. In other obvious news: the sky is blue, pizza rolls are tasty and Patriots fans are arrogant arseholes.

King Hippo

/imagines her bathtub GIF again

//is briefly content with life

Horatio Cornblower

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Redshirt

Based on your terminology and natural progression of female mammary glands during the aging process, I am terrified of your future review for Guardians 3.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Redshirt

Yeah, the plucky, comic relief ensign from Star Trek: TNG Season 2 really when down hill after she left the Enterprise.

http://www.startrek.com/uploads/assets/db_articles/4843dfb298287cd89542e3e2dd6140725ae57abf.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

I’d certainly sue the shit out of whoever did my boob-job if I were her.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OOOOOOR she made a LOT of money because males.

Unsurprised

I prefer her like this, even though the photo makes her look a bit cross-eyed.

Redshirt

I see the Reds have missed football too, since this is their 2nd game in a row with another footballian score (thanks for coming Giants)!

King Hippo

Adam Duvall is fun to watch. The Giants basically gave him away to yinz, too.

Shogun Marcus

When your wife has been craving big soft pretzels, but there’s no reliable non-mall option, you damn well learn right quick how-to and make them. Like I just did in an hour. Absolutely easy and so damn tasty.

King Hippo

First 15 innings down South – Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals 15, Ted Turner’s former nap hosting site nil. WOOO!!!!!

King Hippo

Inning #16 went 0-3. No smire.

herodotus450

“Murray?”
… (not present)

King Hippo

oh, that’s good

Brocky

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herodotus450

50$ follow up: how do you get rid of red eye?

Unsurprised

In his case, decapitation.

herodotus450

To quote the best PFT Commenter line of recent memory, “It’s been a big year for Russians in Washington.”

Gratliff

Powering through Iron Fist on Netflix. It definitely isn’t as high quality as the other Marvel series, but it does still have Rosario Dawson, which makes up for a lot.

Unsurprised

Trance has her fully nude. Checkmate.

Unsurprised

Money shot, so to speak. NSFW.

https://gfycat.com/SentimentalWhichAllosaurus

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Buck and John Smoltz are talking about ‘Anchorman’ during the Yankees-Cubs games.

That’s grounds for justifiable homicide is what that is.

And now we’re comparing Aaron Judge to Wayne Gretzky while playing “99 Luftballoons” for some goddamn reason.

Brocky

Full disclosure:

Do you actually love the lamp

WCS

Well, hello again.

King Hippo

Flower made a poopie. You prolly noticed.

SonOfSpam

“Get rooked” is a phrase I need to use more often.

Also very glad I didn’t bet the Derby.

laserguru

I can sympathize with the ballet Beerguy. Next Saturday I’ve got tickets to see my 2 oldest granddaughters dance in Beauty and the beast.
I do get to see all of my harem though so I’ll endure.
That fucking Nutcracker though.

/ shudders

laserguru

Damn that was a good gyro plate. Real homemade hummus and the gyro was all lamb. Some of these places have more beef than lamb in their gyro meat. Plus they had TOUM!
It’s nice to support a family owned joint.

King Hippo

PIT/OTT would be a delightful Ice Footy series to watch.

Bloody Lethal

I hate to be this guy, but Kyle Turris was offsides.

I took the 2 horse in every single bet I made and it came up limp (zoom zoom) right out of the gate.

I haven’t seen my girlfriend in a week.

My fantasy baseball team sucks.

http://replygif.net/i/740.gif