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Your “Dodging Cars & New Scars” Canadian Holiday Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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As I said last year aboot this time:

Victoria Day:

Under Canadian law, the date is reserved in anniversary of the birth of the monarch. A national commemoration dating from the time of Queen Victoria, an amendment to the Statutes of Canada in 1952 established the celebration of Victoria Day on the Monday preceding May 25. It was renamed Journée nationale des patriotes in Quebec in 2002, commemorating the struggle of Louis-David Papineau and his patriotes to establish “Responsible Government” in Lower Canada.

Whatever – it’s the unofficial start of summer in Canada, meaning it’s officially tolerable to talk about fucking off to a cabin/lake/golf resort on weekends and not feel like an elitist dick. After Labour Day, you’re a snob again.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Game 6: Ducks at Predators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
  • NBA:
    • Game 4: Warriors at Spurs – 9:00PM  | ESPN / Sportsnet1

As of today – May 22 – it is two months until NFL rookies report to training camp. COUNTDOWN TO ELITENESS BEGINS!

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blaxabbath

Are you big jerk racists playing poker tonight?

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blaxabbath

Damn it! The 18,500 in free chips aint even enough to get a seat at the DFO table.

FUCK THIS PLACE! I’M GONE SILL NOW!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh spend the $3 bucks for a million chips ya cheap bastard.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

It’s the principle, man, the principle!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Currently, I’m at the table playing with myself.
Yes…I said what I meant.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m up in LA for work the next two nights. I went out to dinner with my sales team, and all of them pull out drink vouchers for the hotel, and apparently the check-in guy stiffed me!

http://www.memecommunity.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/anigif_enhanced-buzz-8696-1365442611-5.gif

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theeWeeBabySeamus

apparently the check-in guy stiffed me!

Ummmmm….lucky you….?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was an extra $75 and it was out by the dumpster….smgdh.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Why won’t WordPress let me like this comment to infinity????

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Gentlemen! Still at work, but tippling my first dirty beer. Cheers!

/Nashville, eh?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is a dirty beer when she drops her thong into it?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

In that water? No problem.
In fact, let me pour some bleach on myself before I jump in.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Make Some More Dick Jokes

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I tippled a dirty beer once. It ended up looking a lot like that pool water in Moose’s post below.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Welp.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NOW IT GETS APPROVED!

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Beerguyrob

Sorry, I was busy. Someone else got it for you.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No need to apologize; it was just weird that the it just seemed to disappear it….. was…. GONE.

Now it is back with a VENGENCE!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OH FFS….why am I laughing at this????????????????

Sill, no shit. If I think this is funny, just imagine how fucking scared you should be right now?????????

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Unsurprised

There’s nothing interesting to watch or read. Either that, or I am a truly boring fuck.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what’s undercutting the whole dive bar vibe tonight? Beyoncé playing over the soundsystem.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey Sill, you ignorant slut. Just in case you can monitor DFO comments with all the bullshit retweeting you do….(doubtful, but it’s worth a shot)…..
[email protected]

You’ve proven tonight what I knew all along. You have a vagina where your balls were intended to be. You’re nothing but an insane bully. Does that make you feel proud?

You’re too much of a cunt to reply to me, yet you’re going to continue after the ones who haven’t invited your bullshit. I’m inviting it…I WANT you to engage me in….let’s call it a discourse….for now.

But you’re a digraceful bully. You’re too much of a fucking pussy to reply to ME.

One of these days, if you grow a pair, I’ll be waiting to welcome you with open arms. You fucking shitmonkey.

[email protected]

Write it down you piece of human waste.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

Is this some meta-joke I am not getting?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If I followed it correctly, Sill is Andy Kaufman and tWBS is a drunker Jerry Lawler.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

And higher, too.
LMAO

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No JSD, not a joke.
I’ll have no further comment until that fuckwit grows a pair.

Probably. Perhaps. Possibly.

Yeah no, at this point…fuck him. He’s got it coming to him. But I’m not doing it on twitter. But he’s stupid enough that I’ll eventually draw him into a private conversation.

Fucks like him can’t help themselves.

But the rest of you really do need to block him on twitter. Or anywhere else.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Funny coincidence….
That Little dog’s balls are bigger than Sill’s.

True story, bro.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who wants to hear a knock knock jokes? I promise it’s not as bad as the one I told RTD.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

[just in case]

Knock knock

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you….errrrr, who’s there?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

KGB

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t get it…
I mean…KGB who?

/might be high

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

WE ARE THE ONES ASKING QUESTIONS HERE ??????

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, that is as bad as RTD’s joke…just in a very different way.
LOL

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

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JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Die Hard

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Senor Weaselo

Wait, why is James Corden on at 10 PM? And Jesus fuck, are they just doing an hour of Carpool Karaoke?

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King Hippo

That “carpool karaoke” is evidence that maybe ISIL has a point…

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Senor Weaselo

Hold up, the shots are 25-8 Ice Chargers and it’s still 2-1 Ice Titans? That amuses me.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, really? Didn’t realize shots were that lopsided.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Alright, last one. I promise. Probably.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv_hGITmNuo

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rogue One is playing at Red Rocks tonight but a) I just left the office and b) I don’t know anyone here to go sit and not be stoned with.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Like no lie, I had to just turn baseball off for the night.
I really don’t want to have to abduct and torture Ubaldo Jimenez.

BUT HE’S NOT MAKING IT EASY!!!!!!!!!

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Senor Weaselo

At least this is his walk year, so it’ll all be over soon.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, “walk year” is a consolation.
Though I’d rather it was his “push him out of a moving vehicle year”.

Or something that sounds less assaulty and/or incriminating.

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Unsurprised

Holy fuck. Thomas Ricks just said on Fresh Air today, “There is a special place in Hell for Roger Ailes, Sean Hannity, and Bill O’Reilly …” and then threw Rupert Murdoch on that pile just to make it clear where the buck stops.

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WCS

He’s not wrong,

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Unsurprised

Indeed.

I’m just amazed that someone so prominent was that blunt on Fresh Air of all programs.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Seems legit.

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King Hippo

Does Roy Cohn at least get to hang around and suck them off now and then (no ofence)??

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Ubaldo Jimenez is on borrowed time whether he knows it or not.
Jeebus, dude.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Those pancakes are making me hungry. What’s for dinner?

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King Hippo

what’s left of my dignity?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

But I need to eat more than just a little bit.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not a low hanging fruit….YOU’RE a low hanging fruit.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t worry, I’m already getting bored.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zce-QT7MGSE

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herodotus450

WHY HAS THIS ROBOT NOT BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT YET!!

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nomonkeyfun

Fuck pancakes. Waffle-bot for evah!!!

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herodotus450

Don’t blame me, I voted for Crepe-droid.

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Unsurprised

Pistol Drone as VP

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hands too big?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, that is not gonna look good on the “obstruction of justice” front.

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Redshirt

The sad thing is that Nixon isn’t alive to enjoy no longer being the most corrupt President in US History.

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Unsurprised

This is being used to torture him in Hell.

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King Hippo

I just imagine his Futurama “head in a jar” being all like “what an asshole this dude is…”

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL…nice.

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...

Nixon almost doesn’t deserve to be lumped in with Trump because he actually a clever conniving politician who accomplished things. Trump just has a toddler brain with a giant soft skull.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If Trump was as clever as Nixon he’d have (successfully) crowned himself President-for-Life already.

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Unsurprised

Nixon was an evil piece of shit. Trump is an idiot narcissist.

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blaxabbath

I had a Nixon biography that I meant to hollow out for my drug stuffs. I ended up botching one of the measurements and then it wouldn’t fit anything more than a pipe so I just tossed it.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Color me shocked.

Sorry, it’s Victoria Day….
Colour moi shocked.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Fine. I don’t care if all of you shat on my bad lip reading gif idea.
LOL.
But now you’re gonna get bad lip readings the rest of the night until I get fucking bored.
Assholes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gneBUA39mnI

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

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King Hippo

“Hate crime. HATE CRIME!!!”

– J.E.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

Holy fuck it took me a moment to realize what was going on there.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s how they make leg salad.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy shit, I just remembered why I don’t work out. I’m not saying my heart is giving up, but I’m pretty sure the Caps in the playoffs are more reliable.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

Shit…
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Forgot to carry the “2”…

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

DON’T CROSS THE STREAMS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MAYBE HE SHOULD FUCKING APOLOGIZE TO THE WOMAN HE ASSAULTED IN COLLEGE.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2711185-ex-nfl-ref-butch-hannah-talks-peyton-mannings-apology-for-off-color-language

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King Hippo

“Should-a-put-my-dick-a-way!”

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King Hippo

“What a snowflake ,, smh” – Every. Single. White Person in MS

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JustStopDude

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JustStopDude

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King Hippo

Yay, not Team Disney!! Here’s to yer Ice Footy being ded…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTXeg-Swq9w

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JustStopDude

So does anyone have any recommendations for fun shit in Hamilton Ontario?

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Shogun Marcus

Go somewhere else?

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JustStopDude

Toronto or Niagara Falls? I’m assuming the Falls are absolutely amazing to see…for about 15 minutes and then it feels like a massive tourist trap.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

….for about 15 seconds….

FTFY

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King Hippo

Tiger-Cats training camp??

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

They have liquor there….right?
/is very happy there is an edit button

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Up front?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

My before the edit msg said…

They liquor there….right?

Glad I changed it before you got there. LMFAO.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SO POKER IN THE REAR?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To be fair; I have said exactly “They liquor there….right?” before.
Okay, maybe it was “They liquor there….riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?” But still.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I had an idea for a new game earlier. If you’re familiar with bad lip reading, it makes more sense. Foar reference…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR4lLJu_-wE

Sooooo….we post an obscure gif. Obscure enough that most people wouldn’t recognize the actual dialogue…..

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZBjzmpDxras/UlZvrbT6TfI/AAAAAAAAQiA/2xsr6kNGdkY/s1600/2013-10-10+11_12_56.gif

And then solicit captions….

“Yeah….it’s tranny boots and salsa!!”

Make sense?

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Redshirt

Every one of my captions were perverted and sickening. I’m afraid to post them for fear I will lower everyone’s opinion of myself.

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Shogun Marcus

Umm fellow imaginary internet person…I got some bad news about our opinions. ?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehe….i did change tranny boobs to tranny boots….truth be told.
lol
😉

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King Hippo

ur already our Bengal fan and our Republican, I mean how low u think it can go??

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Redshirt

All my comments involved cheating on at least two of his family members and for some reason, it ends in slaw.

…and please don’t associate my Bengals with the GOP. If I could find a better party, I would go there laughing giddily.

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King Hippo

And we can dig it!

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Redshirt

“We replaced the Cavaliers with the Browns last night in the 4th Quarter. Did anyone notice?”

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blaxabbath

We went to see Book of Mormon on Friday and there was zero security at the theater. I didn’t think anything of it until Lady blax pointed it out. I mean, I didn’t care because I was strapped but I could see how others might have felt uncomfortable.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

“Ariana is okay,” a representative said.

Oh thank goodness. Because THAT’S what I was concerned about…..

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/deaths-injuries-confirmed-after-explosions-heard-u-k-concert-featuring-n763286

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Don T

I don’t think Victoria “loved them all”. Whatever. Dynamite song.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=z2GHlcwlT1Y

Hope you Northeners had a delightful day. God I need time off ASAP.

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King Hippo

every royalty person should be fookin’ blown up, is all I’m sayin

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litre_cola

1st Victoria Day weekend that has been amazing since I moved back to Canada 12 years ago!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Just posted this on the Radio thread without realizing the time and I should have just waited to post it here. But sorry guys, tonight is gonna suck too…..

See? This is why I don’t watch the news.
Explosion (not yet being called a terrorist attack, fwiw) with multiple confirmed casualties at a concert in the UK.

Can’t find a link, but just saw the Breaking News thing on the tee vee box.

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blaxabbath

This shit would stop happening if THE MEDIA would just quit giving it air time!

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litre_cola

Just like streaking.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve thought this for a while, and just saw a very interesting documentary about it. The patterns follow the exact same patterns which infectious diseases follow. The correlation is there.

Media is the mode of transmissibility. It’s amazing.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I failed to mention, it’s also very true for gun violence.
Just saying.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Is it bad to pray that it was just shitty pyrotechnics?

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JustStopDude

Ariana Grande strikes again…

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blaxabbath

I don’t how old she is, AG is straight jailbait.

http://starschanges.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/ariana-grande-amas-24nov14-01.jpg

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