Sir Roger Moore died this week at the age of 89. IMHO, he was the coolest of the Bonds.
(sorry Barry, now leave me alone and get your big head outta here)
((no no, I’m just kidding….it’s not noticeable at all))
Where was I….oh yeah…
This week, in honor of my favorite 007, the theme will be Bond Girls.
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Oh, The Humanity!!!
Humanity reached a new low this week. The fact that an increasing number of people on this planet are content to just stand idly by while atrocities like this happen is increasingly becoming something I cannot tolerate. What about the victims??????????
That’s right, people. This happened, and we all let it happen…..
I apologize for showing you this, but awareness is the first step. We should all be ashamed.
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Sincerely Sorry For That
Here….clean your musical palate a bit from that atrocity above.
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Sports With a License to Kill (Me)…
…And too slowly, as it turns out.
NHL
The Stanley Cup Finals is set. Nashville (wait, whut? Really???) will face Yinzburgh in a best of seven for possession of that really big and awkward piece of kitchenware. I bet that fucker’s a bitch to fit in the dishwasher, eh? Jeebus.
Last night the Pens outlasted the Sens. Took ’em a second OT, but they get the 3-2 win and move on to face….Nashville (Like seriously? No shit?)
Let’s call this one….Pens in 6.
Anywhoooo…here’s the schedule:
- Game 1: Nashville at Pittsburgh, Monday, May 29, 8 p.m.
- Game 2: Nashville at Pittsburgh, Wednesday, May 31, 8 p.m.
- Game 3: Pittsburgh at Nashville, Saturday, June 3, 8 p.m.
- Game 4: Pittsburgh at Nashville, Monday, June 5, 8 p.m.
- *Game 5: Nashville at Pittsburgh, Thursday, June 8, 8 p.m.
- *Game 6: Pittsburgh at Nashville, Sunday, June 11, 8 p.m.
- *Game 7: Nashville at Pittsburgh, Wednesday, June 14, 8 p.m.
*if necessary
NBA
Last night, the Cavs went ahead and pulled the plug on Boston and now move on to face….(drum roll)…. Golden State in the finals.
Oooooooohhh…..what a fucking shock….
Prediction? I still don’t give a fuck…there, how’s that prediction???
(but Cavs in 7…just saying)
Schedule:
- Game 1 – Thu. June 1: Cleveland at Golden State, 9 p.m., ABC/R
- Game 2 – Sun. June 4: Cleveland at Golden State, 8 p.m., ABC/R
- Game 3 – Wed. June 7: Golden State at Cleveland, 9 p.m., ABC/R
- Game 4 – Fri. June 9: Golden State at Cleveland, 9 p.m., ABC/R
- Game 5 * Mon. June 12: Cleveland at Golden State, 9 p.m., ABC/R
- Game 6 * Thu. June 15: Golden State at Cleveland, 9 p.m., ABC/R
- Game 7 * Sun. June 18: Cleveland at Golden State, 8 p.m., ABC/R
- *If necessary
MLB
Eh. As expected, my O’s pitching hasn’t held up. I said June was gonna hurt. At least I was right about something (it’s the little wins in life, eh?). I honestly haven’t paid close attention to the rest of your teams yet. When hockey is over, then I can care about more baseball than just my own crappy team.
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Shaken not Stirred
(but let’s not rule anything out)
Are you aware that the concentric swirls/waves in this image represent the rifling of a gun barrel, now aimed at Bond?
I’m amazed at the percentage of the population who never got that. There are lots.
We’re going to do a variety of the Bond Girls. Some old, some new. But it’s impossible for me get to all of them in the body of this post. Mostly I’m picking just a few from the hat here.
Therefore, do please chime in with more in the comments. Yeah, as if I even need to ask…look who I’m talking to here (perverts).
(also, I keep typoing “Bond” as “Bong” and now I can’t quit laughing…explains a lot)
OK, here we go…enjoy…
Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress)
Film: Dr. No
She happens to have be original Bond Girl, fwiw.
Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi)
Film: From Russia With Love
Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman)
Film: Goldfinger
Domino Derval (Claudine Augier)
Film: Thunderball
Mary Goodnight (Britt Ekland)
Film: The Man With The Golden Gun
Andrea Anders (Maud Adams)
Film: The Man With The Golden Gun
Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet)
Film: For Your Eyes Only
Stacey Sutton (Tanya Roberts)
Film: A View To A Kill
Polana Ivanova (Fiona Fullerton)
Film: A View To A Kill
Incidentally, the “author” of tonight’s post title.
Kara Milvoy (Maryam D’Abo)
Film: The Living Daylights
Pam Bouvier (Carey Lowell)
Film: Licence to Kill
Christmas Jones (Denise Richards)
Film: The World Is Not Enough
Jinx (Halle Berry)
Film: Die Another Day
Sévérine (Bérénice Marlohe)
Film: Skyfall
OK, now it’s your turn. I know I’ve left out some of your favorites. This was no accident. Go, google, post. Make me proud.
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What Happens in Joshua Tree Stays in Joshua Tree
Trust me (us) when I say for everyone’s sake (mostly mine, actually), most of it is staying there. I hope. But I have asked for and received permission to share with you all, Big Blue…
But be on the lookout as this man is wanted by US Border Patrol for multiple violations on both sides of the border in Nogales. He may or may not be wearing a disguise.
Separated at Birth? You be the judge….
But no shit, the mass grave really was a real thing. And we all tripped over it multiple times. I’m pretty certain I had to be in the lead at the end, given the way the night….wait, wait, never mind about that. But I’m proud to say that I WAS the very last to pop my mass grave cherry, but then I guess I couldn’t get enough of it.
Huh….there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.
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I Kinda Like This One
This is one of mine. It’s recent, from Venice Beach. And I find it very calming. I hope you do, too.
If you click on it you can make it bigger, and bigger is always better.
Wait…no….THAT’S A MYTH, THAT’S A MYTH!!!!
(I’ve said too much)
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I guess that’s about it. Maybe next week, just to give in to my typos, we’ll do Bong Girls. Those of you not laughing right now already know there really is such a thing. LOL.
We’ll see. Just one more thing to get me into trouble probably. But honestly, now that the idea has hit my brain….? Yeah, it’s likely to happen at some point, even if not next week.
When will I smarten up and learn to keep my mouth shut?
SHUT UP IT’S STILL RHETORICAL!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfOdWSiyWoc
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And We’ll End on a Sad Note
It is my regret to tell you all that I have tired of Alexa’s antics and have decided to let her go. Isn’t that how it happened Alexa?
OK, fine….she’s dumping me for someone shorter. She got tired of not being able to punch me in the head, or something like that. I wasn’t listening.
So I guess you won’t be seeing her for awhile. But she’ll be back, oh yes….
That’s just mean….I’m not crying.
Call me….?!?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpR8r0D2EyY
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Have a great weekend, folks.
Love ya’s.
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[…] warned all of you this one was coming. […]
Some of the dialogue on Rome is so outrageously serious for what these days sounds unacceptable according to whatever we’ve become used to thinking is normal. Sadly, it makes me think of politics now and how all these norms that Trump and his lickspittles continue to violate were built upon this completely bullshit veneer of genteel nonsense. Like how William F. Buckley had an exagerrated, affected accent and proper Ivy bearing as he argued in favor of segregation and physically threatening Gore Vidal was acceptable, but calling people pieces of shit for being evil and wanting to actively harm others was impolite and beneath the dignity of this cloistered group of inbred assholes in politics and media. So in a way, I actually appreciate it because it’s been a wretchedly walled-off group of self-selecting assholes in their nepotism and crony capitalism jerking each other off and calling it “meritocracy.” Well, it isn’t and it never was. And it’s about time the party of the people, founded by a demagogue but built in the streets has to return to the streets to get its balls back.
I’m an asshole, but I’m not a fucking asshole.
Protest gets results. This I know.
Ghouls. Motherfucking ghouls.
That’s not the Free Press’s fault…
I meant the people the FP had to discuss because monsters are real.
I understood your comment. And, you’re correct.
I wish I was a drunk.
Anybody else icing their head or am I the only one who pulled a lamp down onto his head tonight?
Lampshade, yes. Actual lamp (or torch as some would say), no.
Natalie Dormer is 35(!). (!!!!). Her character in game of thrones is 16-18 over the course of the books.
To be fair, the TV characters are all 4-5 years older on account of many being children. Emilia Clarke’s character is like 12 in the first book, isn’t she?
Yeah. I suppose I’m more just amazed that Dormer is a believable 21 year old
Maybe we’re just really old. 17 year olds look like toddlers to me now.
I love pancakes
blueberry?
http://media.giphy.com/media/hbxmKdjGJjF8Q/giphy.gif
Who’s got one free thumb, and is gonna drink too much and stay up too late watching teenagers play videogames?
Their single mothers?
milf-cam is a separate tab
Someone is excited for Wonder Woman. Not me. I don’t ever want to see another fucking superhero.
https://gfycat.com/AridScholarlyAsianlion
They’re all about the part of the hands that aren’t there
A little turbulence there!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqfLOJGS_7o&ab_channel=Danarky
Here are some of my fellow passengers tonight. What a delightful bunch!
http://i2.cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/120531092735-air-rage-horizontal-large-gallery.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXSLcYQHqFQ&ab_channel=OsamaA
Fucking stumble back from the bar…and see the old computer is now Windows 10.
So all my shit is acting weird and nothing looks right on my monitors.
Fuck it…I’m going Amish…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiqeXHp1BsU
Here’s what my seat looks like. Not the guy in the foreground sitting in his living room; I’m in a cramped seat on the plane in the far distance.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/05/16/article-2630382-1DE7EC2600000578-437_634x869.jpg
Even for the 1950’s this advertisement is a blatant lie.
He’s a rich fucker in the lounge at the airport.
Las Vegas visitors watching a nuclear test at Nevada Test Site.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/1gjdAX7.gif
That was the old Vegas. Nowadays, they’d charge you extra for that.
http://oi41.tinypic.com/10eo66p.jpg
I’m flying the red eye coast-to-coast tonight. Here’s what my boarding process should look like but won’t. “Ten years ago this was a bomber” the stewardess seems to be saying.
If you’re lucky, they’ll dump you out of the bottom of the plane like a bomb somewhere over the heartland.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2dmfnSarDI&ab_channel=EmDotVee1
Just moar proof that Kubrick ripped off the russians real moon landing video to shoot his own
COL 10, STL 0
Christ and Sonny JEEBUS
Check the humidor!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2djHEIxPVs&ab_channel=gurucaleb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g4QbpQ25LA&ab_channel=RollaCoastah
THERES KARAOKE IN THE BACK BAR!!!!
What song would you sing if you HAD to do one and couldn’t get out of it? Mine is Elvis Costello’s “Allison”.
If sufficiently crunk I have belted out D-Squared’s “Hungry Like the Wolf.”
/I shares a birthday with Simon Le Bon
If it’s there, ELP’s “Lucky Man.” A highlight of my friend’s bachelor party though had to be when we picked “Gangster’s Paradise,” all looked at each other, and collectively went “Amish? Amish.” And it was successful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M4_Ommfvv0&ab_channel=VHTelevision
Lovecats – The cure. As I assume I would be drunk.
Now THIS I think we would all pay to see!
JSD: I don’t want to cast aspersions, but I think white people might all be really fucking stupid.
On days without news bombshells, I feel normalization seeping in and it scares the shit out of me.
see also, the real original formula Coke
The Yankees seem to be coming back to Earth in much the same fashion as Skylab did.
Drinking time? Yup, drinking time.
Still haven’t been shut out, high five?
GO BEAR GO!!!
“Does a hunter shit himself if he sees a bear in the woods?”
I hope he died.
Dadgum Dirt Donks beatin’ up on my Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals. Bought some Dale’s Pale Ale for this series, but too tired to drink…
I totally forgot that Denise Richards was a Bond girl. I had completely repressed that movie from my brain.
Wasn’t she suppose to be a brain surgeon or a nuclear scientist or something? All I remember was her mispronouncing her scientific jargon a lot.
HR, like 15 minutes after five pm, sent out an email to everyone asking for feedback from the “leadership” training we got. I love how the paperwork for this feedback is about a third the length of the feedback forms I ask customers to fill out in regards to the quality of the training I give.
There is literally a question “How would you institute within the organization, the techniques and lessons learned from this training?” and they left enough space for about three words.
I plan on detailing a manifesto this weekend and stapling the form onto the top of it.
They jelly