25 Questions About…

This

Of course, I mean amateur photography.  In case you’ve living in a tree the last 50 years, here’s the full sketch:

Now, I’ve noticed that we have a lot of awesome photographers here in the DFO stable.  Over the holiday, I was impressed with the fireworks photos posted by Brick and Unsurprised.  Of course, tWBS has graced us with his personal photos during his Sexy Friday posts.  I myself own a DSLR camera and have started on the “amateur photography” path.  I’m not that good, yet, but I find that the more I practice and mess around, the better I get and the more I discover.

As you may think, this topic tends to bring up….questions.

1- So, do 100% of you think I started doing this to get women to pose naked for me or just 99%?

2- You think that poorly of me, huh?

3- Or is it that you know me that well?

4- Would you believe that my dream is to capture an airliner in flight like in this photo?

5- I know Brick is popping a boner, but is anyone else as excited about that photo as I am?

6- Did you know I was fascinated with planes when I was a kid?

7- Did you also know that my dream job was to be a pilot but my eyesight is horrible and there is no way I could qualify?

8- Kinda ironic given I want to be a photographer, right?

9- I mean, you’d expect all my pictures to be fuzzy, no?

10- Is fuzzy porn a thing yet?

11- Do you think Fozz has made a “home video” with the Mrs.?

12- Am I infringing on tWBS’ Tina Erotic DFO Friend Fiction territory here?

13- Would you rather I just move along and get back to the original topic?

14- Have you ever taken pictures/video with your significant other?

15- Kinda fun,  right?

16- Have they made you delete them right away?

17- Have they also made you delete them in front of them?

18- Kinda rude but also kinda smart,  right?

19- Can we talk about dick pics for a second?

20- Isn’t the inherent beauty of the dick pic the fact that you can’t see your face and thus no one can recognize you?

21- What if you had a really… unique penis and it was instantly recognizable?

22- Would that be a bummer or a bonus?

23- I guess it depends on the… uniqueness,  right?

24- To quote Dave Attel, what if a man has no penis but three balls and one of them lights up and plays a tune.  Do you fuck him for the story?

25- When is Dave gonna get another special?!?

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I phase in and out of photography, but most anyone with a graphic eye, a little photography technique and history of book learnin’ can get some great results. In the digital world you are not paying for film so experimentation on times, depth of field, and ISOs is no cost once you get a camera. You get the camera and photographic software according to your budget and devote time to practice and learning the basics of lighting, composition, darkroom (OK, photoshoppin’) you can turn out good stuff. People have more of a creative talent than they think (well, some WAY less) if they are willing to put some time into it.

I have to reemphasize learning about the history of photography and cinematography because it will help you in recognizing opportunities for great shots and…. it is just fucking interesting. Chicks go to free adult ed photography classes too.

Romonobyl
Member

Your life story is mine in the nutshell. I wanted to be a pilot well before Maverick came out playing volleyball with his little locker room friends, and the military was my only option. Unfortunately my grandfather’s astigmatism and recessive genes had other ideas, so I took a related but different path.
I love that 787 pic, probably the sexiest looking aircraft since the Spitfire.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Maverick” is shorter than Sarah Palin [sic] and Cruze would have had to have a 63 inch vertical to do that on a regulation net…. in the sand. Those were in my VB days and I fucking hated Tommy then, and that was before knowing about his idiots in space religion.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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litre_cola
Member

I work at the bar with a lor of females and dick pics are not appreciated and when received they all surround the phone in question amd laugh amd laugh.
Making videos on the other hand is a good time as long as it is mostly the female!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

2- You think that poorly of me, huh?

3- Or is it that you know me that well?

Column A, Column B

King Hippo
Member

On one of my few ventures in the outside world, I did see Dave Attell live in Raleigh (at a tiny comedy club) about 10-15 years ago. He was even more vulgar and glorious than on his special and/or Insomniac.

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

I would fuck him for the story if it gets him another special.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Huh. #VoteMoose is trending on Twitter.

I for one welcome our new pornographer overlord.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

7- Did you also know that my dream job was to be a pilot but my eyesight is horrible and there is no way I could qualify?

I saw Top Gun when it came out and I was six. I don’t know any boy who grew up in the 80s who didn’t want to become a pilot and/or astronaut (I also did that), especially after seeing that movie. And, yeah, within a few years pretty much all of us realized that the requirements meant we were fucked out of luck.

King Hippo
Member

True Story! I started watching Top Gun twice (first time around 14 on VHS at home), and fell asleep in the middle each time.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Speaking of being a kid in the 80s, Stranger Things sucks. It’s more pornographic than the worst gonzo vid, except that it’s selling nostalgia instead of double anal gangbangs.

Senor Weaselo
Member

It doesn’t? I’ve been watching the wrong show then…

yeah right
Member

Balls, you should drive down to my neighborhood one day to catch plane photos. There’s a very well known place called “The Hill” that’s a very short walk from my place and photographers from around the world go there for pictures of planes taking off and landing at LAX.

The back balcony here ain’t too shabby for plane photos either.

King Hippo
Member

My only regret in not having a human son (YES, I call my cat “son” all the time) is that I never got to have the talk.

“Son, nobody wants to see a picture of your goddamned penis.”

Also, I cannot possibly fathom performing knowing I was being filmed, nor why it would be “sexy” to watch that later. This is more in the “horrifying nightmare” category FOAR me. Is this my inner WASP coming out, or am I in commonly held belief territory here??

SonOfSpam
Member

I have a daughter.

“Daughter, all pervs on the internet will want to see a pic of your goddamned privates. That’s why there’s electrical tape over the camera on this laptop and I’ve disabled it anyway and some jerk is probably gonna figure out how to hack this anyway so don’t ever be naked for any reason.”

When she was born, I hired a therapist on retainer.

Don T
Member

Seconded. I hate seeing myself on video, no matter how staggeringly virile I come off.

I did NOT want a boy, as chances for being a lazy student would’ve jumped 400% (ymmv).

Senor Weaselo
Member

I mean you can have that talk with your cat. He’ll just lick himself and walk away, but that’s not stopping you from saying the words!

King Hippo
Member

you are both right, in that cats respond to instruction only with disdain or raw, untethered vengeance.

/essentially, eternal teenagers

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Then tomorrow morning he will get to wake up to his cat teabagging him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Doorfliesopen.com: Yeah, we’ve got the Dick pics.

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Don T
Member

I’ll raise ya a prick pic
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

What’s this about Mc pics?

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

What’s with this rash that suddenly popped up?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

That’s just obscene, dude.

blaxabbath
Member

You know who else’s dream it was to catch an airliner in flight?

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Enrico Pallazzo
Member

Attell definitely needs another special. The Insomniac theme song is one of the best.

Kick The Sandman in his sack!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I swear it took 19 searches to got to this. It kept thinking I wanted something else

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Fuck you no editing. I was one letter off

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I can’t tell for sure with the article. Is this the place to post my dick pics?

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