The HALL OF FAME GAME!
Balls already banged out this week’s edition of 25 Questions About… but this is a special BONUS edition since the Hall of Fame Game is today, it rhymes, it usually sucks, but at least it’s football! Stand by for cromulent musings on the game itself from other DFOers, but for now, I have some questions:
1) Did you know the NFL has been playing the Hall of Fame Game since 1962 (which apparently included the Cardinals)?
2) How does that make any sense if the first Hall of Fame inductee class was in 1963?
3) Can I start abbreviating Hall of Fame as HOF for the rest of this post?
4)Is the preferred abbreviation HOF or HoF?
5) Who gives a fuck?
6) Did you know that last season’s Paint-ghazi cancellation was not the first cancellation in HoF game history?
7) What’s a lamer excuse for a cancellation, a lockout that was already fucking over or paint?
8) Did you know the 1980 HoF game between the then-San Diego Chargers (sorry, LCSS) and the Green Bay Packers ended early in a 0-0 tie due to lightning?
9) Was that because BOLTMAN was pissed that the Raiders and Rams each had a nominee that year but the Chargers didn’t?
10) Either way, the lightning had to make Boltman tumescent, right?
11)Did you know that they allegedly try to choose the teams playing in the HoF game based on ties to prominent members of that year’s draft class?
12) Was picking the Cowboys a deliberate “Fuck You” to Terrell Owens?
13) What team do you really associate Terrell Owens with anyway, the 49ers when he was really good (and the Bears decided not to cover him), the Cowboys when he was just an asshole, and the Eagles when he was doing sit-ups in his driveway?
14) Back to this year’s HoF game and induction, who is going to get more slobbering during the broadcast, Jerry Jones or Kurt Warner?
15) Leaving aside the Ray Guy punter stuff, did you know that Morten Andersen (to be inducted this year) will be the fourth placekicker in the HoF, and that includes George Blanda and a guy named Lou Groza that also played tackle?
16) Would you be surprised if I told you the [REDACTEDS] have the most HoF game wins and are undefeated at 6-0?
17) How happy do you think it makes Dan Snyder to make his season ticket holders pay for this pre-season game so often and not have to pay to operate the home stadium?
18) Does anyone like that fucking guy?
19) Would you be surprised in the slightest to learn that the Dolphins and the Bills are the most futile HoF game participants, both with 0-4 records?
20) How are the Bears undefeated (5-0) in HoF game play?
21) Anyone else ever suffer through a shitty Bears pre-season made worse by idiots “reminding” you that the 1985 Bears went 1-3 in the preseason?
22) Do those fat fucking mouthbreathing fucks think anyone gives a fuck?
23) Isn’t pre-season the football the worst?
24) But it’s still football, and we’re all going to watch, right?
25) WOOOOO, WHO’S EXCITED THAT OUR LONG NATIONAL OFFSEASON NIGHTMARE IS OVER?!??!?!?!?!?
21) Yep.
/punches wall
//hard
WYTS has just gotten sad.
so this masterful website still exists
https://oldspicevoicemail.com/
Love that the title of OSZ’s art masterpiece is slenderbolt.bmp
I’d love to take credit… Actually, maybe I will since neither make it snow nor I are around much these days.
Yeah. I did that. All humor and glory from it is intentional and due to me. Not make it snow, who never existed anyway. It was all me.
1) 1962? So this was when the Cardinals were still in Chicago?
14) Jerry Jones, literally and figuratively.
24) Nope. I feel like this is where I deplane, because I couldn’t give less of a fuck about football. I hate the NFL, NCAA, owners, players union, and pretty much everything about the sport. I’m just here for the dick jokes and because you guys are kinda, sorta closer to me than most people I see in person.
St. Louis, actually
But the liveblogs are where we share our BEST dick jokes!
You’re pretty good at Quotables.
Invite your friends!
You’re a hell of a guy. Very glad you’re here man.
On one hand: Good. Less time for him to fuck our shit up.
On the other: The last time a President took a long vacation, 9/11 happened.
And OF COURSE I’M FACKIN EXCITED!! No more attention for real life crap.* It’s football season dammit!
*Provided Marcus Mariota is not injured by Week 4.
Say what you will about T.O., but his Superb Owl appearance was downright meastly. From John Clayton:
Full thing: http://www.espn.com/nfl/playoffs04/columns/story?columnist=clayton_john&id=1985765
It’s funny I never thought of Owens as the bad guy on the Eagles. He was right he was the real reason why they were able to make it as far as they did
“I don’t know, I’d say it was a tie…”
is the ellipses there so he can catch his breath?
T.O. walked the walk with the Eagles in his first season. Because of that, I have zero problems with him.
Well, David Johnson’s 2017-18 season, it was fun while it lasted.
Good thing we re-signed Chris Johnson again!
Someday I’m going to a Request Line with Chris Johnson as the host and a theme of “CJ2K’s (Behind the Line of Scrimmage) Dance Party!”
My [*Redacted] s are unstoppable in Canton. It’s too bad that they are easily stopped in every other city.
The Bureau of Indian Affairs approves this message
“We have bigly support from many Indian tribes in favor of DAPL. In fact, we just got a letter from the Washington [*Redacted] s that they support ALL our environmental regulation rollbacks.”
This 25 Questions did not devolve into a discussion of sexual deviance.
Ha, I guess we are slightly different authors
Great post, as always.