Your “What Fresh Hell Is This?” Hall of Fame Game Open Thread

[blatantly ignores the long days and nights since the Super Bowl] Wow! It seems like just yesterday that I was watching relevant football being played and here we are again. The good folks of Canton, Ohio might just see a game in their backyard for the first time in two frickin’ years unless it gets aborted once again. Ye olde NFL and assorted hangers-on wouldn’t do that again, would they? Nah, they’ve had a year to prepare…just like the year previous. To The Game!

Dallas @ Arizona: Don’t kid yourself, home field advantage is crucial in a game of this (lack of) caliber and the Cards hold all the cards. When Carson Palmer doesn’t throw to Fitz who is not being covered by Scandrick, you’ll see why it’s self-evident. On the other side of the ball you can expect that a not-dressed RB Elliott will not pound the rock between the tackles, not wearing down… some Cards defender not named, uh, Patrick Peterson? What I’m trying to get at is that no one of starting quality will be playing this doozy of a tilt. No. One.

So where do we go from here? Oh, we’re going straight to Gabbertville and then heading over to undrafted rook Knighttown with a stop in Kellen Moore Corner along the way. Perhaps we’ll get a glimpse of a Taco Charlton stand at some intersection. The latest tight end that once played basketball-Rico Gathers-is expected to get some reps. These are some slim pickings for sure. But they are all dressed in bonafide NFL uniforms so it matters. As long as we’re wearing our respective drinking/pilling gear it’s all good.

LET’S DO THIS!

 

 

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Doktor Zymm
Member

Severe storm warning currently most riveting thing on screen

Spur
Member
Spur

You in Vegas too?

Doktor Zymm
Member

Nah, still Chicago, Plus side, raining on Lolla! Take that, drunk teenagers!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Jesus, they aren’t even going to start the regular kicker?

Doktor Zymm
Member

Hell no, stubbed toe risk is REAL

King Hippo
Member

shitty cornpone Nationwide commercial is back FUCK EVERYTHING

Spur
Member
Spur

NBC needs to upgrade the sideline reporter with a newer model.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Canton’s wiki page is hilarious. Its clear its been written by the sad person that is like the head of tourism.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I’ve been to Canton. Wouldn’t be able to tell you a single thing about it other than the Hall.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

To be fair, the HoF is basically all that Canton has so…

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

I have to provide NBC Sports with my verification for having a cable package…to stream…the fucking Hall of Fame game or else it times out in 43 minutes.

I would get mad about this, but NBC most likely spent something like $20 million to secure the rights to a shitty pre-season practice…so I guess they need to try and make ends meet.

King Hippo
Member

God bless Terrell Davis and LT, who had the decency to do blow beforehand, at least.

/yes, I Mile High Saluted back

//FUCK YOU TOO

Spur
Member
Spur

Double J looking for some Canton kitty after the game.

Kungjitsu
Member
Kungjitsu

I’m from Arkansas, so two legs are preferable, but more than that’s not a deal breaker.

–Jerry Jones (I’m in the Hall of Fuckin’ Fame. Where’s that punk ass bitch Jimmy Johnson?)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Something something Cantonese prostitute.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Don’t mind me, folks, just limbering up.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Jerry Jones looks like he decided to give Mark Davis’ barber a try.

Spur
Member
Spur

Morten Anderson couldn’t make THE field goal when he needed to. FUCK HIM!

King Hippo
Member

nice tits, tho

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

He wears a t-shirt in the pool.

King Hippo
Member

oh, MOS DEF

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Morton Anderson looks like your friend’s dad.

JerBear50
Member
JerBear50

I couldn’t say. He always told me he’d kill my parents if I ever turned around.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Holy shit.

Did it just get dark in here or did I just get Helen Keller level scarlet fever?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Oh did they let Phiiip Rivers and Antonio Gates come to this?

ThursdaySkyGoddess
Member
ThursdaySkyGoddess

What’s the over/under on mentions of David Irving’s ripped nipple?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

WHAAAAAAT????

Spur
Member
Spur

Is this the WNBA liveblog?

Spur
Member
Spur

Evening Folks!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

SWEET SWEET FOOTBALL METHADONE!

Doktor Zymm
Member

Do pickles wear eyeliner?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

This seems like a question for Hippo…

King Hippo
Member

chuh chuh

Redshirt
Member

Only if their gay or metrosexual.

Doktor Zymm
Member

Oh, before footballish happens, anyone ever work for a startup? Is this a thing I should do, or should I sell out and go for the higher salary in an established corporation?

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Which job requires you to wear pants?

Take the other one.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

If you’d be passionate about what the startup does, it would probably be more fulfilling. If not, I’d avoid it.

Doktor Zymm
Member

I’m asking cause I have an interview tomorrow with a place that actually sounds pretty awesome, but I’m also talking to a few other companies, with interviews about 2 weeks out. I kinda hate that it timed out this way, since if I get an offer from the place tomorrow I’ll have to decide without anything else firmly in hand. It would be a pretty significant salary difference, though I’m underpaid enough at the moment that it would still be a raise. Stupid important life decisions.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Could you tell them you’re not available to start for two weeks? And then be up front with the other folks and say that you have an offer that you’re holding on but if they want you they’d be your first choice (if that’s true).

Doktor Zymm
Member

Juggling like that would stress me out more than just making the decision. I’m just gonna gather as much info tomorrow to try and make that decision easier :/

King Hippo
Member

It would terrify me, which probably means you should do it. I make very poor life choices.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

One of my buddies left an established company to work for a startup.

Benefits: Better energy, flexible hours/ policies
Negatives: lack of organization can lead to chaos and last-minute rush tasks that have to be completed or else the company fails

Obviously, it depends on the individual and their need for stability/ tolerance for chaos.

King Hippo
Member

When the Scotchnaut first sees its shadow, we know it safe to emerge from our respective spider holes. Huzzah!

Doktor Zymm
Member

I’m going to try watching the game on my phone, that way I can blame my inappropriate choice of viewing platform for the poor quality

King Hippo
Member

Happy happy, joy joy!!

/to follow up on Redshirt ‘n’ God’s post below, we know tonight can’t possibly suck as much ass as the last fixture we witnessed.

Low bar? SET!!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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SonOfSpam
Member

He can make a gunshot uninteresting.

King Hippo
Member

This may be my favourite of the Catler gifs. So far. He’s gonna love The Giraffe.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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litre_cola
Member

Is Romo calling the game?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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Redshirt
Member

Majel Barrett-Roddenberry: “Previously on Door Flies Open NFL Open Thread.”
Joe Buck: “…and with the extra point, the Patriots are down 25 points with 8:31 to go in the 3rd Quarter.”
Everyone in DFO: “This is the greatest day in our lives!”
God: “Hold my beer and watch this.”
Majel Barrett-Roddenberry: “And now, the continuation.”

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Nerd

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

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