Your “Maybe Everything Should Be On Tape-Delay” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Ezekiel Elliott’s appeal is scheduled for August 29th.
    • And he may have something more credible than the “crazy bitch” defence first alluded to yesterday:
    • Harold Henderson, the arbiter who also handled the Greg Hardy & Adrian Peterson appeals, has been appointed to hear the appeal.
      • This gives Goodell the appearance of being “hands-off”, but also getting a “rubber stamp”, since Henderson has the reputation of agreeing to League stances.
  • Lucky Whitehead – he of the false accusation & Cowboys waiver – has had his moniker further besmirched by breaking a foot in Jets practice.
    • He’ll be out 4-6 weeks.
  • Saints CB Delvin Breaux is out 4-6 weeks with a fractured fibula.
    • The more interesting story is that the Saints have fired the doctors who initially labeled the injury a bone bruise.
      • They were looking to trade the oft-injured Breaux, but the misdiagnosis prevented a deal from happening. Since he now can’t be moved, they got rid of the people they could.


Game Preview: Bills at Eagles

Hoo-boy. The trip through the SBNation was pretty rough on this one, highlighted by the Darby-for-Matthews trade that’s sure to be mentioned about 93 times this evening.

The poorly-named Buffalo Rumblings is still mostly shell-shocked about the Sammy Watkins trade, with one post going so far as to say the trade is all about playing to Tyrod Taylor’s strengths, backhandedly blaming him for it in the process. There’s also a story about how the GM never told the coach about the move, less a hand be tipped. Trust issues: It’s the Bills way!

Bleeding Green Nation, meanwhile, is almost full-Jonestown in their belief that this season will be the bestest, most glorious season EVAR:

Yet, if you look closely enough, you can find the stab wounds in the facade:

Prediction: 6-3 Eagles. More importantly: Eagles fans versus Bills fans – WHO YA GOT?!


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL: Bills at Eagles – 7:00PM | NFL Network
  • MLB:
    • Yankees at Mets – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Rays at Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • MLS:
    • Montreal vs Chicago – 7:30PM | TSN
  • Rugby:
    • 2017 Women’s Rugby World Cup:
      • Canada vs. New Zealand – 6:45AM | TSN

I shan’t be joining you this evening, as I am taking my mother to see k.d.lang at The Orpheum Theatre. Mom enjoys her music, and I get to buy her a birthday present without too much effort involved. We are sitting kind of high, as the lesbians bought all the good tickets. NOW THERE’S A CONSPIRACY!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprised

I lost my train of thought, but I did find this when wandering across the web. In other news, I think my laptop battery is finally dead, which is just swell.

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JerBear50

Damn, you all closed up shop early tonight.

Unsurprised

I was pontificating about stupid shit that doesn’t matter below, but mostly I was busy earlier actually doing some writing and story building.

Senor Weaselo

I just got here!

SonOfSpam

I was wondering how soon you write off family members who hate Bennett for sitting during the anthem but haven’t said shit about Virginia. Dunno why I bother, but somewhere deep down, I guess I think I can reach them. Stupid, yes?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck em

Unsurprised

Family isn’t necessarily your blood, and blood isn’t necessarily your family.

blaxabbath

Dude played for SEA.

Sorry man but, if you play for a division opponent, I hope only the worst fit you .

And it worked on kaepernick!

Brick Meathook

The last man on Earth . . .
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. . . except for all those other people he’s fighting with.

blaxabbath

Goddamnit it must be nice in Canada right now. But long days seem tough to handle.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. Today has been a bear of a day. What’s brightening things up in our little weird world?

Horatio Cornblower

So Whitehead breaks his foot, doesn’t have to play for the Jets for 4-6 weeks, still gets paid and his name shouldn’t be Lucky?

Oh I beg to differ, Sir.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Only Wednesday. Cheers anyway.

Brocky

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Why do both of those girls have their spinal columns in the front?

blaxabbath

Missionary anal.

Nice.

Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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Brocky

I actually made this gif myself. I’m so fucking proud

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice work; it will only get more ironic from here. We look forward to it.

Brocky

shit, did moose start a trip down the sctv wormhole?

Grab your twinkies boys, we’re diving in!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Weird thing is; I’m not even *that* stoned ….. yet.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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At least work was productive today.

Horatio Cornblower

Pictured: Dad Ruins Everything

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Strike.

blaxabbath

Bet she’s better at math than all of us

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

…. where the fuck can i get some superman ice cream?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Man, second city, haven’t heard that in a long time

Brocky

Also, Mom from home alone in the 70s, what’s up girl?

http://www.geocities.ws/sctvman/cap031.jpg

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Seems legit.

Wakezilla

This is my last week of teaching until September and Friday cannot come fast enough *Giggity*. We have had a new boss for a few months and she never takes the side/listens to the teacher about the students who complain/parents complaining. I have a psycho parent constantly complaining about shit because they cannot fathom the fact that their kid is too god damn lazy or too stupid to get simple concepts of how to write an essay. I went so far as to invite her to my classroom so she could see what was really going on. She declined.

Fun fact: New boss doesn’t look like this. Though, if she did, it would soften the blow.

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Shogun Marcus

Blow and soft do not belong together in reference to the above.

Unsurprised

If the parents can’t or won’t care, fuck ’em.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh Christ, the parents who think their kid is next fucking Feynman when he is either just not smart enough or would be much happier dropping out at 16 and just working and smoking pot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Being a teacher seems challenging.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Wasn’t all of this Elliot evidence about texts and blackmail known to the nfl investigation (it was found by them as a part of it!) and he still got 6 games? Why would anything change now?

Shogun Marcus

Yeah ask Marion Berry how that “bitch set me up” defense worked.

Horatio Cornblower

Because Double J hadn’t given Roger a raise and Harold a bonus before now.

Wakezilla

So, when did our country(ies) become so stupid? I was at a restaurant having lunch today, eaves dropping on a conversation and the logic these dipshits were using to justify the White Supremacist rally and feeling bad for Trump was sickening. And it’s not just two backwards hill billies either. I still sporadically come across this shit on Facebook with people I loosely know.

I swear I woke up a couple of years ago and somehow ended up in a parallel universe where everyone lost their damn mind.

So, is Giancarlo Stanton going to get traded from the Dirt Dolphins (still have team)?

blaxabbath

This is all a long time coming. Such are the ebbs and flows of humanity.

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herodotus450

Remember when the k k k (not sure if i will be moderated if alll one word) endorsed trump during the campaign and the closest thing to a reaction from him was somethign like, “I love all my supporters, I’m the best, they’re the best for supporting me. COAL,”? And then 24 hours later no one cared because there was some stupid shit on twitter? Because I do.

Wakezilla

Yup. I remember all of this and even know this was all coming. Just, it’s so surreal to see people only being racist pieces of shit, even in Canada.

I’ve been saying for a couple of years that Canada was on the verge of getting a Trump and having an open white supremacist problem. People mostly ignored me or were like “whatever, we’re still not as bad as America.”

Now, those fucks are all like “how could we have possibly known that a white supremacist rally was going to be held in Vancouver” etc, etc.

TL/DR: Shit kicking neo-Nazis shouldn’t be a crime.

blaxabbath

“whatever, we’re still not as bad as America.”

That is so fucking funny that you guys say that. Like I feel that same righteousness above these mouth breathers– but I can’t escape that, as their statesmen, I am with them and support them with my own life, to a certain degree. I hold no righteousness but am not bitter about the score either.

It must be that same sense of comicalness that you feel when playing football for the Browns.

Unsurprised

Dude. Your government has mistreated and continues to fuck over First Nations people just as badly as the U.S. has. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t exculpate Canada for its own racism.

Brocky

I don’t fucking get it man, what the fuck do i say to someone who says “you know, democrats started the KKK”

like ugh fuck you guys seriously

Shogun Marcus

And a democrat signed the civil rights act, which made the South Republican ever since. Shit changes. We evolve. Hate doesn’t give a fuck about political parties. Hate is hate.

…or something like that.

Duchess

Pushes up my Poli Sci Glasses.

You see you had the Civil RIghts Act. Pushed through by LBJ. This pissed off the racist fucks known as Southern Democrats. So they ended up voting for conservative asshat Goldwater. So this started a wave of voting Democrat in local elections but Republican on the national stage. Reagan upped this by using what was coined as a Southern Strategy. Where he started using the term “States rights” when talking about racial issues. So by the 90’s the new generation of people grew up voting Republican and so shit got flipped the racist fucktard Democrats became Republicans. RE: Strom Thurmond.

Shogun Marcus

Yes, this. That is what I meant.

blaxabbath

I did not know that.

Of course it makes sense that the origin of the modern Democratic Party is just the ashes of the biggest fuck uppery ever of their respectable predecessors.

Unsurprised

Reagan upped this by using what was coined as a Southern Strategy.

Nixon was the first to use the Southern Strategy.

Now, Reagan is still a giant piece of shit who should burn in Hell forever alongside Nixon. He began his 1980 campaign by giving a states-rights speech in Philadelphia, Mississippi. If this seems like a strange place to start a campaign, know that Philadelphia is where three Freedom Riders were kidnapped, tortured, and murdered in the 1960s and was depicted in the film Mississippi Burning. Yes, Ronald Reagan came out swinging by telling racists everywhere, but especially in the South, that they were right and he supported their actions in keeping black people in their place, even through violence.

SonOfSpam

See also, “young bucks” and “welfare queens” and fuck this whole thing I hate everything.

Unsurprised

racist fucktard Democrats became Republicans. RE: Strom Thurmond.

He was so incensed by Harry Truman being a hippie fuck, e.g. desegregating the military, that he ran for President in 1948 as a third-party Dixiecrat, which was built upon the campaign slogan “Segregation Forever!”

Trent Lott got in trouble around 2004-05 when he said America would be better off if he’d won (as opposed to Lott’s evil, racist actions because in this stupid country words mean more than actions) during a party for Thurmond, and was then forced to go on BET to apologize.

nomonkeyfun

Around that time I saw Pete Seeger as a surprise opening act for Dar Williams. He was playing in a school cafeteria. He said, “Now if Henry Wallace had won, I think this country would have be whole lot better.”

Now while I don’t agree with him because of the company Wallace kept, it was fucking hilarious.

Then we had a sing-a-long.

Unsurprised

I was reading something recently about how Truman succeeded him as FDR’s VP became of conservative Democrats strong-arming FDR, and how if FDR had held out, the world would’ve changed radically under a Wallace presidency after FDR died 3-4 months into his fourth term.

Unsurprised

It was always this stupid. Most people (white people) just didn’t have cause to notice or care. I can go on about this for hours but it doesn’t matter. The point is that most people still don’t really notice or care; certainly not enough to think about it, let alone do anything about it. Just ignore it and move on. You have better things to worry about than political nonsense that no one can or will change.

blaxabbath

Dude – I can’t even begin to explain how you nail it for me. Like, I’m not disengaged or rooting for the worst….it’s just not close enough to ENgage me.

Unsurprised

Nobody ever thinks they are on the wrong side of history at the time it’s being made.

Everyone dogs on the South for being racist, as if it’s only ever been located there. Yet as we’ve joked about often, that shit is pervasive everywhere, but especially on the east coast (Google searches using the n-word are almost from east of the Great Plains) like Boston. That’s the dirty little secret liberals and moderates really don’t like is how every “liberal” city like Boston, Austin, Portland, San Francisco—they’re also the most racially segregated and gentrified. As Dave Chappelle said about SF, they put all the [black people] on the other side of the [Bay] bridge, i.e. Oakland. When it became a state, Oregon was expressly founded as a white separatist enclave where black people weren’t even allowed in. Chicago is notoriously segregated north and south of the Loop. In Boston, there are areas where certain races just know to never enter for their own safety.

People talk about the Civil Rights Act and the Voters Rights Act, but there was a third component, the Fair Housing Act of 1968–the “Northern Civil Rights Act.” No one really lauds its successes because there really aren’t any. It was supposed to end redlining and more subtle but active discrimination such as in housing, and was what led to the busing programs in the 1970s — all of which were most ferociously fought by people in the north like New York, New England, and the Rust Belt where there have always been large minority communities which have also faced pervasive discrimination and de facto segregation. But it’s a lot easier to desegregate under Jim Crow because that created clear and overt divisions, but people can discriminate in hiring and in lending, renting, or selling to minorities and get away with it a lot more easily because unless they actually say “I’m not selling to any n-words” or racially-exclusive property covenants, there are innumerable legal excuses that can justify discrimination. This doesn’t even get into sideways forms of racial discrimination such as using criminal backgrounds or poor credit ratings as reasons not to hire or lend to people given how disproportionately negative marks affect minorities. Even when it is pointed out that, for example, non-whites were disproportionately steered towards subprime loans, are generally loaned money at higher rates, and were more likely to be defrauded by banks such as all those accounts Wells Fargo illegally opened in people’s names, it only comes after the fact because there’s rarely a manual from the CEO saying, “Fuck black people. Charge them more.” It’s just how things are done. And so when Hillary Clinton said breaking up the big banks wouldn’t end racism and Bernie Sanders whiffed on this remarkably slow pitch it was because both of them have their heads in the sand to this; but Matt Taibbi pointed out that this is where Bernie could’ve nailed his cred with minorities at the time (He has since, as if that matters now) because Yes, it would. Those banks are the institutions making these rules and engaging in and then profiting off of discrimination. They are the problem, just as they’ve always been. Just as the banks profited off the slave trade—as investment capital, chattel slavery was immensely profitable for owners and for the banks that lent money to and benefited from the return on investment by chattel slave labor—I hate to use pop culture to make a point, but I’ll make this one exception that it is now so clear but yet so opaque to most people that Game of Thrones pointed it out two episodes ago how the Iron Bank took a huge financial hit when Dany ended the slave trade in her conquered lands and yet only a few people and media outlets (That’s to say, black media) made the connection between that and the effect slavery had on banks in this country (and how they overcame that problem).

The most telling thing in how pervasive and unconscious racism is in housing and education, for example, are in articles about white liberals and progressives using the exact same coded or even explicit language to justify de facto segregation in their communities, e.g. in newly-gentrified parts of Brooklyn or any rapidly-growing and -gentrifying areas, as people in more overtly racist communities, i.e. the South, use to justify the same thing that both end up seeking—exclusion of The Other from their communities where The Other just happens to be everyone who doesn’t look like them, earn like them, and have the same backgrounds and “cultures” as them.

blaxabbath

I was joking to my wife last night that VA must want this story to just go away so bad. Like, young people want to move to Austin/Denver bc they are cool and youth thinks their views will be welcome there. Well, I bet VA is plenty aware that alt-righters are looking at their state and asking, “I wonder if we should just move there? They seem pretty welcoming to my ideals.”

It’ll be Portlandia….on bath salts.

Unsurprised

If it’s any consolation, the best counties in VA to live in (northern VA/D.C. metro) are also the most expensive in the country.

Duchess

So has this song shot up in sales on Itunes yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MkRuV0aCcI

Shogun Marcus

I posted this over the weekend!

Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

Was President Lincoln OK?

Shogun Marcus

Meh.

Wakezilla

You’re going to see KD Lang. You’re forgiven that you’re a little bit frazzled at the moment.

Brick Meathook

Instead of not watching it tonight I shall not watch it tomorrow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The game has already been played, but those who have lost will lose tomorrow.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

This makes me unreasonably happy.

Gratliff

You guys know the Eagles-Bills game is tomorrow, right?

ballsofsteelandfury

I love that NFL preseason is so forgettable and irrelevant that we don’t know or care when the games are.

scotchnaut

Hot Chocolate had hits with ‘Everyone 1’s a Winner” and “You Sexy Thing” and then there’s this crazy dark tune called “Emma’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vPu_nrzgSU

blaxabbath

Also, I scored two tickets to Trump in Phoenix next week. Event starts at 7, they say be in like by 4.

It’s gonna 105 (even hotter if it’s downtown, as I suspect). I guess that’s how you weed out the unfaithful.

Unsurprised

Let’s see some of God’s righteous wrath.

Come on, bro. Start weeding out humanity or fuck off. We don’t have the patience for absentee deities.

blaxabbath

Damn. That’s some serious taunting.

Brocky

replace “granny’s Peach tea” with grab her by the pussy, and we will forever be in your debt:

http://www.ghostlittle.com/hs-fs/hubfs/explosion.gif?t=1502374110093&width=600&name=explosion.gif

scotchnaut

Best version of “Knock On Wood”?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ztZ7WFo3nw

Unsurprised

I’m not necessarily looking to start a whole conversation, but I watched this coming Sunday’s GoT and it made me freak out a couple of times to the point that I nearly yelled loudly enough to wake up my neighbors until I barely caught myself.

blaxabbath

Does every fucking city have a orpheum theater?

Brick Meathook

no

WCS

Because I hate myself, I acquired two tickets to Sunday’s Stillers-HOWTHEFLYINGFUCKDIDYOUCOCKSUCKERSBLOWA25POINTLEADINTHESUPERBOWL.

I hope to punch Dan Quinn right in his nose.

scotchnaut

Best version of “I Can’t Stand The Rain”?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO3hlmEyaiA

Unsurprised

It was hot as fuck two weeks ago and I loved it.

Now this stupid city is freezing my balls off in the middle of August and I want everything to die.

scotchnaut
WCS

You know it’s preseason when Jared Goff looks competent.

JustStopDude

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Then I said fuck it…and went home…

herodotus450

It’s hot. Too hot. Stick to my chair hot. But not quite hot enough to warrant AC. Maybe I’ll light a few candles…

scotchnaut
scotchnaut
Unsurprised

Game Preview: Bills at Eagles

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scotchnaut

Cleveland Browns veterans weigh in on where they’d like to be-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djKhXqYGCsI

scotchnaut

Andy Reid loves this tune…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXqPjx94YMg