Don’t stare at that banner image up there too long. Because you can’t have her. But we’ll get to that.
Last week, we paid homage to the amateurs…
TGISF…AKA “Return Of Teh Cheerleaders – Part I” Sexy Friday Open Thread
Yes, a good portion of last week’s TGISF was a shameless NCSU plug, why do you ask?
And we lost anyway. Meh.
But this week, we’re going to the pros.
So to speak….
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Return Of Teh Cheerleaders – Pt Deux : Pro Footy Edition
The sequel rarely lives up to the original. Hopefully this will be the exception.
Now, about that banner image. That is my favorite pro cheerleader. Her name is Andrea, and she’s just all kinds of swell.
Does it surprise you to know I have a favorite NFL Cheerleader? It shouldn’t. But what might surprise you is which team she cheers for, since I most strenuously do not care for the team she cheers for.
But still, you might see more of her tonight (Translation: You’re totally gonna see more of her tonight). Like now, for instance…
…I like her a lot.
Don’t feel badly tho. If you looked like her I’d probably like you too.
One more? At least for now? Sure, OK…
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Sports That Make You Seek Professional Help
So there was some game on last night or something, I think….?
NFL
It’s back for realsies now. And all which that implies. The league finally got to the real games last night, as the defending Superb Owl Champion Tawmmy’s (I think they mentioned that a time or two) hosted the Chefs.
Now personally, I very much enjoyed the humbling of the Pats at home in their opener as Defenders of the Galaxy. It was fun to watch Tawmmy eat dirt multiple times and look dejected as hell on the sidelines. Couldn’t happen to a nicer fella. It was also a lot of fun to watch Kareem Hunt bounceback from an early setback and kick some Patriot Ass. That was a lot of fun.
Having said that…..between the aforementioned (and yes very enjoyable) Brady beatdown and Travis Kelce coming to work on the short bus last night, I lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 18-20 fantasy points I was kinda counting on.
But still….Pats lost, 42-27 is your final. Worth it.
MLB
Soooooo, remember last week when I told you the Dodgers would still take the division going away? Well, it seems shit has imploded at Chavez Ravine. I still think they’ll pull out (phrasing) in time to still take the division “comfortably”. But going away is now looking like a bad bet. Yeeesh. Arizona is pretty much assured of a wildcard spot (10 game cushion) even if they don’t overtake the Dodgers, and Colorado is still hanging on (3 game cushion). The American League wildcard picture is more messy so I’m not gonna talk about it, but suffice to say that any of 8 teams could get hot down the stretch and still slide in.
Tonight:
- Baltimore at Cleveland – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
- Tampa Bay at Boston – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
College Football
There’s some games tonight. You heard it here first. Sadly, probably the one with the most watchability (Memphis/UCF) got cancelled. Thanks hurricanes. OhioU/Purdue and OkieSt/USA it is then….I guess.
Tonight:
- Alcorn State at Fla. International – 7:00pmEDT – TV: beIN (wow, really? LMFAO)
- Oklahoma State at South Alabama – 8:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN2
- OhioU at Purdue – 8:00pmEDT – TV: FS1
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OK, Time For Some Professional Help
Yes, I know I just used that joke in the last header and that it even sucked the first time. But this time, of course I’m referring to the NFL Cheerleaders. Heh heh…
Anywhoooooo…..
Not every team is represented. Some might be represented more than once.
I’m pretty much going with the best links I can find which wouldn’t end up attracting too much attention. ‘Nuff said.
But first….Andrea.
I was “lucky” enough to still be a local for her rookie campaign, whence she first caught my attention.
In 2017 she’ll be a fifth year veteran. For the Arizona Cardinals.
So yes, I have hereby already long ago dubbed Arizona’s Andrea to be the NFL Cheerleader Queen of the Planet (pronounced “Ahn DREY’ uh“, btw … shut up it doesn’t make her arrogant it makes her mysterious … SHUT UP!!!!).
Ahem….
But here are your runners up. Enjoy…
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Equal Time For Our Northern Friends
OK, enough of that.
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I suppose that’s about it this week.
Other than a special shout out and a hearty “Atta Boy!!!” to the lovely and talented ALXMAC, who was the only one to correctly guess last week’s musical theme. In fact, he was the only one to even make a serious guess. And because he played my game, he’s my new BFF.
The rest of you can suck it. 😛
OK fine, I didn’t mean that. Probably.
Have a good weekend folks.
Love ya’s.
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Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme? Drop me a line…
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Fatty
I just have it on in background, but the JV Jaguras are somehow even sadder than the Grown-up NFL varietal.
And they still beat Mississippi State and a ranked San Diego State team last year.
Wait, really? Even my shitty wolves beat they brains in home-and-home a few years back. Did they lose like 16 starters off last year’s side?
This video was directed and choreographed by one-hit-wonder Toni Basil:
perhaps my favourite childhood video. That or “dancing chicken” Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel.
TWBS: Shame DFO wasn’t a thing 10+ years ago. I used to have friends on the Feliouns every year from 2000 to about 2007ish. Then I got old.
Do you still have their contact info?
Yeah, what he said?
Might have a couple on facebook
r/watchitforthecat is hilarious
While the Patriots losing last night definitely perked my mood, seeing this fuckhole dragged across Twitter helped a lot too.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/goodbye-chicago-what-its-like-to-live-in-a-city-you_us_59ac5f1de4b0bef3378cd9ba?ncid=engmodushpmg00000004
LOL. He was run off Twitter. Good. Fuck him.
Also, just for getting me to open a HuffPo link you now owe me a life debt.
Oh no. That essay is 100% sincere. He’s written other shit for HuffPo that’s just as daft and lacking awareness.
Once this essay got spread around, people began talking about their experiences with him. Basically, he’s so aggressively creepy to women that he’d been banned from at least one bar in Logan Square. He’s a fucking mess and you can tell by the fact he *admits* to doing the whole “reject me? well, you’re too ugly to fuck” bit in person.
If that’s what he admits to/remembers…
Also the “SF is sooooo much better except for the fact that I had to leave to actually find a job.” The whole thing just seems like he gets paid by the word.
Also people who take and post pictures of gross ass injuries they suffer should be round up and shot.
also ppl who unironically say “lifehack”
/srsly, I will eat your goddamned children whilst you watch
It’s not even that that’s infuriating because I’ve met plenty of people who bitch about the Chicago and the Midwest and think the coasts are way better, it’s that he genuinely seems to think Chicago is *more* expensive.
And half of what he says Chicagoans are like isn’t even right.
Chicago is genuinely the only large city that I’ve enjoyed spending more than like an hour in. They like to eat, they like to drink, and they like sports (even if one of their sides is manifest evil). Don’t get hung up on appearances, or dumb bullshit.
Yeah but did you even approach a random group of friends minding their own business to talb about the totally awesome benefits of cycling and composting and how like, man, life is totally meaningless and meaningful at the same time?
The highly redacted story of him approaching women likely left out the parts where he explicitly and openly talked about being “sex positive.”
You see, we family-oriented Midwesterners can’t process that because we’re just too conservative.
HuffPo enrages me enough to almost want to kill puppies.
I hope he just instantly get rolled over and over again like an assembly line in whichever town he’s now gracing with his presence.
He moved to New York. lol
That city will kill him. It broke me the first time I visited.
It’ll be funny if he slides on an ice patch into the East River.
LOL. He’s at least gonna need a new mattress.
those 3 li’l shoestrings gon’ LOSE
It was close, but Photoshop didn’t lose
I thought balls might appreciate this one.
Audition tape for The Girly Show
I hope Kristen Schall doesn’t drop her purse.
Oh, and also Fuck Sill.
Oh shit. The only reason to consider watching The Punisher: Jaime Ray Newman
She’s even better looking now that she’s seemingly gone full LA and started snorting!
/may be projecting a little, I do that
If the concept of hell wasn’t a figment of Dante’s imagination in the 15th century and/or I believed in nonsense, I think this song would be an apt theme for DFO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9FzVhw8_bY
Paul’s Boutique is in every Top Five Album of all time as far as I’m concerned. If you don’t know what an album is? Well, that’s your problem.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR-VuDc61aE
I use an Album Cover almost every day!
with that stare, methinks she might be into pillz too. HIPPO APPROVED!!
Hey, if she’s holding, then it’s a bonus one way or another.
I won’t lie, I could do a rail off that midriff.
Hell man, you could crush the pills on that midriff.
RIGHT? Versatility be nice
Is all this talk about Taylor Swift (‘s music) like, ironic? No one older that 14 actually likes her, right?
Or some weird cornpone Karen Carpenter masturbation fantasy thing
Them bones and saggy skin gets me evah time!!!!!
Yeah, and isn’t that what
Katie Perry, Shakira,, and old Britney Spears videosliterally every female music act ever is for?What I don’t get is, why people are saying she ripped off Beyonce when she clearly is ripping off early Britney Spears.
With that said, Shake it off is a damn good guilty pleasure song.
P*ts extended Kyle Van Noy. Hmmmm, wonder what it was about him they liked so much…
He makes them feel safer somehow.
Leadership. Intangibles. The kind of young man you wouldn’t disown your daughter for dating, etc.
Anyone still happy the Pats last night?
Cause I am. 🙂
I’m not going to lie…my celebrations went a wee bit too far…
If you lived, it wasn’t too far.
The traffic light being flung at the end brought it all together.
Sploosh!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dBt3mJtgJc
Joy Division! Ya CUNT!!!
Feeling Cross-eyed? Feeling Painless? Have I got a tune for you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g8lFmsCXhg
The “Hey Mickey” video at the top claims Toni Basil is a “one hit wonder???????”
You should look up Toni Basil and see everything she’s done. It’s a pretty amazing career.
Women be…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx5GbvQXJHI
shit I ain’t NEVAR seen this live before.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBM5TQKGJO8
hey WCS I think wud be mighty Christian of Dirt Stillers to let Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals just win these fixtures FOAR THE GREATER GOOD
Tampa’s representative looks like Jayden James…not that I know who that is.
So…Zeke unsuspended?
Someone tweeted to Drew that there’s a lot of pizza going cold and uneaten in New York tonight.
And nobody told me? Damn it!
Unsuspended? That’s worthy of a suspension.
Roger Goodell’s brain is a Mobius loop of awfulness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BR2JtsVumFA
Damn the parody isn’t even 2:46 long; what a HACK that Yank is. Yankhackovic moar like it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMeu3R0RdqI
Don’t care what anyone says. That’s an all-time great album cover.
This is a truly excellent song. Even sober.
So hey…I guess there is a good chance we all had our identities stolen.
I am not sure if anyone has been following this but basically back in JULY, Equifax servers were compromised for about a month and a half.
An estimated 150 million people had their entire credit history compromised. This effects Americans, Brits, and Canucks.
Now the fun shit is that Equifax waited until yesterday to say something for two reasons. 1) a massive hurricane destroying the south is a wonderful distraction.
2) The upper management of Equifax needed time to unload their stock in the company before announcing the fiasco. Fuckers made a pretty penny on some insider trading as the price of Equifax stock has dropped like 40%.
So what can you do? Well Equifax is offering through a website, a YEAR of free credit screening. Here is the thing, the website is a stock installation of wordpress. Basically your browser should warn you that you are going to a phishing site. They don’t have the TLS certificate set correctly so you are giving your name and your social security number to a site that is incredibly easy to hack.
On top of this, if you sign up for their shitty one year of coverage, you waiver your right to sue them in court.
Fucking amazing. These idiots potentially compromised one half of the fucking North American economy and they are setting themselves up for further failure. Its fucking breathtaking.
If you guys have not done so, immediately put a credit hold on all your fucking accounts and go through your shit every month with a fine tooth comb.
My credit’s shit; they can have it.
Mine’s a’ight, but I ain’t likely to buy anything of significance again and society is collapsing so fuck it.
Same here. I’m probably better off now.
But shirley I would have to sign up for and opt in to a company or three to extensively monitor all financial activity in my life?
So they’re all gonna go to jail, right? Ahahahaha right.
Looks like about $2 Million in stock was sold across three different execs. Saw that the company is worth something like $9 Billion… But it was an unanounced sale, and the day before the hack info was released?
It was fantastically stupid on their part to do that, but hey.
Its straight up illegal and moronic to think they wouldn’t get caught.
The universal truth in life is never doubt people’s greed and stupidity.
And yet I still saw a guy on Twitter defending Experian by saying they’re victims too.
Also you’re saying the site I checked that said I was unaffected (because I didn’t check my credit rating for the first time until AFTER that date when I bought my car, I shit you not) is what’s going to put me at risk? Bra-fucking-vo.
Yup.
Though along with not listening to their IT department, clearly they are also not listening to their legal department.
I would love to meet the moron that thinks this user agreement slipped in to their website is any way possibly enforceable.
Well they updated their site…
So, Equifax gets to join the DoD (twice!) and the VA as fuckers that have compromised my personal information and will get off scott-free?
Armageddon can’t come soon enough.
Under rated guitar solo? It’s hiding inside My Sharona. (it starts at 2:46)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydrtF45-y-g
I give up.
Here’s a good song for Bojack and depression!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIitQNXVgb8
Opinions on how cheerleaders look? SO GOOD!
What if The Ugly One looked So Good?
I mean, Hippo likes the natural jeans and T-shirt look
This tune doesn’t get nearly the respect it deserves…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydrtF45-y-g
So, Bojack Season 4. Time to cry at cartoons!
Made it all the way through. Did not disappoint. Brought the heavy artillery.
Wait until you gets to episode “Stupid Piece of Shit”
trying to be more positive…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB54dZkzZOY
I marathoned all of Bojack season 4 today, I’d stay depressed if Emily Haines came into my room and sat on my face.
(googles “Emily Haines”)
(Oh right, Metric.)
(Hmmph, Canadioune)
(Born in New Delhi, India?)
(Height 5’1” !?)
You could probably sit on her face while both of you are still standing up.
from peak blow days…just holy good Goddamn…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heEKC_PgWe4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9LgHNf2Qy0
I’d extra her point!!
Is this where balls aaks a question about anal sex?
BDSM State can has FG. I suppose that’s their equivalent of having their balls tickled in public?
Best Van Morrison tune you’ve never heard-“In The Days Before Rock And Roll”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2GpEoZrS04
I’m drunk as fuck-this is the tune that I’ve been listening to for the last 45 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkLOg252KRE
They should find a way to work this into Bojack’s swim through depression.
Denver’s is the best.
/but boy howdy, do N’Awlins has an argument.
Rip Don Williams
https://youtu.be/5QuIxSW_OMM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QuIxSW_OMM&feature=youtu.be
Thanks on the mobile.
Liouns are awesome!
Hate the Steelers all you want, but you’ve gotta recognize that blondes look REALLY good in black and yellow.
Pamela Anderson was discovered at a Liouns game,,,,Ppl 4get that.
#BumblebeePorn
I hate to disagree Balls, but she looks terrible in black and yellow and I won’t rest until I see her out of it.