NFL News:
- Significant injuries from the weekend:
- Greg Olsen – broken foot – 6-8 weeks
- Vic Beasley – torn hamstring – 4-6 weeks
- If the Falcons season goes to hell as a result, DFO CALLED IT!
- HODOR – out for Week-3.
- The NFL was denied an injunction to relieve the injunction that blocked Ezekiel Elliott’s suspension.
- The League will now have to wait until after the judge has reviewed Elliott’s appeal before applying again.
And in case you missed it, the big deal in LA this weekend was the Trumpian argument about crowd size.
LA attendance:
Chargers – 25,381
Rams – 56,612
NFL combined – 81,993USC v. Texas – 84,714
— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) September 17, 2017
And if you thought it was just an LA measuring contest, brother…
Chargers on Sunday: 25,381
Qualcomm on Saturday (SDSU): 43,040— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) September 17, 2017
The League is concerned enough that they are sending lackeys from nfl.com to write puff-pieces about the StubHub experience to counter actual facts:
Sampling views from all around StubHub. Not a bad seat in the house. pic.twitter.com/2ahLgJUu1H
— Marc Sessler (@MarcSessler) September 17, 2017
So all that equals the early, wild speculation about where this new LA experiment is headed. Mr. Florio?
Regardless, the question now becomes when/if someone will be making an exit from the L.A. market far sooner than planned. If the new, state-of-the-art, $2.6 billion venue doesn’t consistently attract capacity crowds or something close to it when it opens in 2021 (the same year the Raiders open a new stadium in Las Vegas), a league that spent 20 years trying to figure out how to put a team back in L.A. may need to start thinking about how to get one out, quickly.
Two games into 2017, and the carcass is not yet rotting but the buzzards are taking flight.
But at least there’s free tacos. El Pollo Grill in San Diego is offering free tacos the day after a Chargers loss. The secret phrase is “Spanos taco”. Misery loves company, and company likes the taco charro.
Game preview: Lions at Giants
It was an ass weekend of football, so no one expects that to change tonight.
The last vestiges of Eli Manning’s confidence will be on full display tonight, as he once again discovers he’s got no one to throw to, and his check-down option is on the sideline eating soup. As of 7 minutes before this post went live, OBJ’s status was still up in the air.
Meanwhile, Matt Stafford, fresh off watching his defence try & kill the only marketable players Arizona has, looks to prove his new contract means he can win when he plays outside. As long as he has capable running options, it should free him up long enough to outrun Three Fingers & the rest of the Giants defence. If they replaced the chalk at the Meadowlands with cocaine, that might be enough to lure Lawrence Taylor back to Jersey to provide some insights into how to actually tackle people.
Prediction: You’re watching something else after halftime. SPIKE has a COPS marathon…
Let me tell you, there wasn’t enough beer available to make me either enjoy or forget the Seahawks game yesterday.
The day started pleasant enough, albeit at 5:45 AM so I could cross the border by 8:00 with the buddy I had to pick up. The CBP agent gave us shit about not wearing our Hawks gear, but ceased when I pointed out “it’s in the back, because I don’t want to crease the 80 with the seat belt”.
We got to Henry’s Tavern a little after 10:00, with Mac & Jack serving as our sacramental wine.
Then, we meandered over to Pyramid for some Curve Balls, where we saw “guy who owns a jersey”. See if you can spot the outlier
Then, to Safeco for some…I want to say Lagunitas? Once inside the stadium, it was a Blue Moon on the “Touchdown City” concourse, and then an Elysian Immortal IPA once we got to the seats. Toss in an Alaskan Amber after the first quarter, and I was nicely toasted.
Which was good, because that was some dogshit football. The Seahawks deserved to lose. Proof of fan discontent?
#firebevell was trending after the game.
For some reason, we ended up at the Costco south of the stadium at 5:30. It got hit by lightning, killing the power & forcing management to close it early – but not let us out until the storm cell passed. Added sobriety time!
The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. The Customs guard debated a breathalyzer, but decided my timeline added up.
School today was a challenge, but probably bought me credibility with the students… until they rat me out to their parents.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Detroit Lions at New York Giants – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- en español a ESPN2
- Detroit Lions at New York Giants – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- MLB:
- Red Sox at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
- NHLX:
- Leafs at Sens – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
- WWE:
- Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- the “go home” show before the PPV / special event this Sunday
- Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
Of course, as Gratliff will agree, the squared circle lost one of its best speakers Sunday night, when Bobby “The Brain” Heenan passed away from complications due to the various cancers he’s had over the years. When I was a kid, his were the guts you hated, which was what made him just a valuable asset to the AWA & then the WWE. Please enjoy this compilation of his work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKRI6MfBKMU
And never forget this key piece of advice: “Now remember this, when a man sticks his hand out to you, you shake it. Then kick him really hard when he’s not looking.” SAGE WISDOM!
Also, no one told me we’re doing wrestling gifs
http://37.media.tumblr.com/1f00c60d2962b14f80eecfef5eeb7a12/tumblr_n8dh5c7npB1srbyoyo1_400.gif
What the fuck is Gruden talking about TV remotes for
I have the sound muted, but I’m presuming his is “sticky”.
THIS GRUDEN I CALL HIM THE GOOD DOCTOR BECAUSE HE’S A NON SEQUITOR
It’s highly likely he has autism.
It was a mistake to let Jay and Kristin babysit so early on in his life.
Or lupus … no wait, it’s never lupus. /House’d
if there were any Lions fans here (non-BC varietal) I would say WELL FUCKING DONE. That was quite the rogering.
Given that the NFL Lions did a good, wouldn’t that make it the opposite of a rogering?
Roger Goodell is a national disgrace ,,,Ppl forget that
hank Williams, good to have him back this year
Speak for yourself asshole
Wtf I just saw a puppy monkey baby commercial.
Time to start on my fantasy rants for this week I guess
OH GOD IT’S UNDEAD
It throws to the Beckham
I’m at a bar for a friend’s birthday/going away party. They’re playing “Ballin’.” I have no idea what’s going on anymore.
Is that a sex game?
No, the song that was all the rage in… whatever year it was?
I wanna say… 2003? 4?
I had the same thought
That was a cool high-five.
Mrs Sharkbait is not pleased with the spot. Or me for saying it’s short
“It’s perfectly adequate. Why do you think I care?”
Alright, once again, I’m off like a prom dress.
Later, Taters!
In an alternate universe somewhere, a whole bunch of people are finally just now getting the Spiro Agnew joke that Dennis Miller made about that punt return.
Bad spot is bad
Twitter just reacted reasonably. Derp in Giants favor?
Okay. First the Factory is a road favorite and now twitter being reasonable. We’re running out of Seals of the Apocalypse.
BLEERGH with the perfect spot!
Great spot zebras.
a 2-yard route on 4th and fucking 3
I see Odell Beckham Jr. is in midseason form.
Doing in the old member in the bucket of popcorn trick?
Maybe other Brandon Marshall can haul those in.
Why are the Browns called the Pauls?
http://unrealfacts.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/galaxy_quest_saris_meme_by_thello77-d6o7k3v.jpg
Yes please to explain. We missed the meeting.
Paul Eugene Brown was the co-founder, head coach and namesake of the Browns. They should really be called the Eugenes aroud these parts.
Thanks, Spanky. I’ve updated for future reference.
I say we use some creative initialing and just call ’em the PEuB’s.
Fuck and yes!
Disappointed Giants fans shot! Drink!
I’m surrounded by them. Mrs Sharkbait already warned me not to laugh during the return
Buh bye.
Lions did a good?
Okay that was pretty awesome.
sheeeeeeiiiiit
Good night New York
Just looking over next week’s lineup…and #ThePauls are a 1.5 road favourite in Indy.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I’ve lost track, which seal being opened is that?
dunno but we definitely all gonna die
That’s some good spelling right there.
?w=650
Mental lapse on that catch
Fatty trundles over to the bench for a warm cup of gravy to recharge.
BLEERGH is an insatiable god!
Nope; conspiracy theory. My exGF was from earth.
Alien/Demon in the background has the “Can you believe the shit I’ve got to put up with?” look about him.
Alright. WWE finally honored Heenan. What’d I miss in the 1st Half, er 1st Two-Thirds?
Fatty Stafford’s actually looked not awful.
especially by comparison
They waited forever to do it, but that was a good ass Heenan tribute
scene at the bar:
hee hee “soft box”
When I hear “Perkins inside”, I think of Tiger Woods.
+15% gratuity. Just the tip.
The Giants have not shaved for a while…..
Dear lord folks we are living in a world where the Lions might be the best team in da norf!
I…buh…wuh…yeah could be.
Ummmmm….it’s spelled Liouns, duh?
I didn’t know that’s how felonies was spelled in canadia! How’d they know my thoughts?
Your roots are showing honey.
And most of everything else.
Fuck
Due to this ridiculous site, I say it LioUns now too, that and incoherently yell RAMMIT when I see an LA highlight.
I say Rammit (lovingly of course) every time I see that B.C. Cheerleader.
She looks fun.
Is this game good enough or bad enough yet for me to care?
It is better than Young Sheldon is going to be.
Even Tomsulas season tix will beat THAT
Of course not
Manning face
follow your inner Catler, but keep watching anyway
Ook-Ook, OOK!
after ever sack, Eli asks if that guy was related to Cecil too?
Also, I’m totally digging the LA schadenfreude. Because no one knew this would happen except for EVERYBODY
I was tennising. Worth turning on the second half?
Not bad, but not spectacular.
That’s good enough for me!
You’re half right.
Either the Lions are seriously competent, the Giants are total shit, or perhaps both.
THE CLOWN MACHINE WILL BITE YOUR COCK OFF WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING.
That’s not nightmare fuel, at all.
Well, I have failed then. The goal was to get Hippo to sleep on his stomach; i.e. “Butt Up.”
If I had a nickel….
I know, not that tight anymore.
Ya gotta donkey punch him at just the right moment.
Or if the Donks do good; he HATES that. Similar reaction every TD pass.
And apparently you have to pay 1 cent for the privilege.
THIS MATT SCRAMBLE, I CALL HIM SCRAMBLE BECAUSE HE SCRAMBLED THE SCRAMBLES ON THE SCRAMBLE SCRAMBLE. AND I MEAN SCRAMBLE…SCRAMBLE.
“Thanks Coach Corso, now back to you guys in the booth!”
He obviously loves scrambled eggs, he doesn’t like scrabble that much, but will play it with hi grandma ’cause she likes it. Odd, but completely true.
I thought Coughlin wasn’t allowed in the Meadowlands anymore
Clooney really is a men of the people.
Eli Manning goes through love/hate periods with New Yorkers like he’s Rudy Giuliani.
Eli only cums on 9/11 too?
Bill Cosby has a board game.
Damn you Moose, I was gonna make the Cosby joke until I read your text at the end.
You damned tease.
OOOHH RAMMIT ON THURSDAY.
THIS THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL I CALL IT RETRO PORN, CUZ IT’S NOT GREAT BUT STILL THE SPORT.
AND I CAN STILL JERK IT TO IT.