The Pre-dent of your Untied States has made NFL owners and players sympathetic figures. Is there nothing he can’t do? What have we learned today? We’ve achieved peak Bearness-there’s nowhere to go but …sideways? The Giants O continues to stink on ice. And Grass. And Astroturf. And during the day. And at night. DeKizer Soze will try his very best but he’s a rook on a team that likes to destroy their employee’s will to succeed. Erin Andrews’ sun hat makes her nose look really big. The Giants aren’t allowed to score legit touchdowns, just because. Starting Mercedes Lewis out of the blue in fantasy gets you mega points and makes you seem smarter than you actually are. Case Keenum will wreck your shit every coupla years if you give him a chance. The Denver run D is for real again, damn it! It makes little to no difference whether you start Newton or Winston at the QB spot. (as of early in the second half) I’ve learned nothing else today. TO THE GAME!
RAIDERS/REDACTEDS: This is kinda a weird game to get an accurate read on. Rb Kelley is out so look for rook Perine to shine a bit unless Thompson decides to steal his thunder. Where has wr Pryor been? His catch rate is 53% and he’s accounted for a mere 97 yards to this point. He’s got the look of a boom/bust guy as far as fantasy is concerned. Qb Cousins needs to get on the same page as him. There’s your homework fellas-have at it. Perhaps cb Norman will take wr Cooper out of the game, perhaps not. Mine own opinion is that Raiders qb Carr just has too many weapons to not succeed here.
Enjoy the game.
That was just fucking sad.
Extended version.
That’s a demon right there.
Why the counting beforehand?
Practice. Wait ’til she takes her shoes and shirt off. She’ll get up to 22.
23 if her belly-button’s pierced.
Spoiler alert: it is.
Has anyone checked to make sure Rikki-Tikki-Deadly hasn’t offed himself?
Soooooo yeah…it’s gonna LOOK like I’m closing the door…..
Yes, we are out of toilet paper and OH HELL YES I am absolutely sure of that.
Well, at least the roll is put on the right way.
OSHA can breathe a sigh of relief.
GODFUCKINGDAMNIT. Thanks for the 3-4 am nightmare
Do you have toilet paper stocked?
Oh never mind. Fumbre to the Raiders. He’s probably rubbing one out now.
He be OK.
This GIF never fails to make me laugh.
Going for goodfeathers. Like this one better.
OMG HE CONTROLS THE BIRDS TOO
I think this year, like last, my sole moment of FF glory will be beating Zymm.
No, I still have no idea how that happens.
If I believed in such things, I would say this is because I’m moving, and footballs teams based near where I live all have to suck
It’s a natural law
The Bay area also sucks. Just so you know this ahead of time.
I don’t think the Raiders understood the no trip to Washington thing properly.
PROFACT: Mike Tomlin is now 6-11 on the road as a touchdown or more favorite.
Why, hello, gin and tonics!
Also, hi to you deplorables.
they wud have wun the game if they had strted on the field insted of the locker room smh
I was getting gin drunk the other day and kept wondering if I should say “gins and tonic”
It’s multiple of each part though, right? I’d argue “gins and tonics” should be the plural form.
this is good point. None of the three options sounded right when I said them out loud. But that might have been the gin talking.
I’ve always gone with gin and tonics, as the name of the drink is ‘gin and tonic’ so that’s what your pluralizing
BARTENDER…MOAR BOOZE PLZ.
You guys complicate things way too much.
damn, he might have a 200 YD GAME
He good.
/they won’t use him like this again all year, go straight back to Fat Rob
More than likely, since I just picked him up and apparently started him today. Didn’t even realize it.
he’s not a big dude, not sure he could take this workload on a consistent basis. And Rob ain’t a bad option, he just don’t have CT’s speed
“We’ll see about that”
– Aaron Rodgers
Methinks tWBS is irritated by my 3 garbage time TDs in DFO fantasy today. 😀
Meh, it provided the separation so I wouldn’t give a shit about losing a close one.
So….I’m good.
Animals: They’re assholes just like we are!
Holeeeeee Chris Thompson!
I’m nearly market-ready with my line of miscarriage reveal props; wish me luck!
Cousins missed the giant question mark.
If that’s any indication, it means that boy is gonna have a completion percentage below 50%.
Deep end of the swimming pool, shallow end of the gene pool.
I have never found a 2 score game, in normal weather with a full quarter to play, in any less danger,
I predict that if Washington doesn’t score here, the Raiders will win the game.
I was sad to see Jared Cook leave the Packers, but I’m glad he’s found a home on another team.
STANDS. NO BEAST MODE SCORES
YOU SHUT UP!!!!!
If Larry Fitzgerald catches like a dozen TD’s tomorrow, I can still catch you.
Took wood to the face unexpectedly, but kept laughing.
I like this girl.
Good old Cris, looking to establish the running game down 21-0 with 4 minutes left in the 3rd.
He also thought Trump might be thinking of apologizing in the intro sequence, given the unamimous owner/management/player FUCK YOU backlash.
How did he ever graduate high school?
I saw that and immediately figured that he had worse CTE than Hernandez.
This drive will be integral in where I set the line for over/under on headlines tomorrow that say ‘Carr Trouble?’
Also, Kerrigan is full awesome
Is it bad that because it’s you I read it as calculus integral instead of synonym for essential integral?
Today I learned Remy retired. I’d rather it was Romo, again.
Tonight, DFO learned Horatio is an ass man.
Much more so than breasts anyway.
This might be the start of something
So I made several mistakes tonight. One was to watch that new Star Trek series which was dull and dumb because that’s what happens you just slap a brand name on the side of some other crap.
But by second was keeping the TV on CBS to watch football-delayed 60 Minutes and an Oprah lead focus group with Trump voters and non-Trump voters that proved no one knows anything and we’re all dumb. (Or maybe it was just edited that way.)
You’re missing a pretty good game, unless you’re a Raiders fan
Oh, I’ve had this game on for the past hour. It’s been better than both the previous two things I watched.
I sympathize with your plight. May I suggest watching the original Stargate SG1 series instead. It is truly an excellent classic
Really, that skateboarder probably wipes out some old lady within 5 seconds of putting in those stupid headphones.
Paul Ryan’s Social Security reforms are slowly becoming reality.
I haven’t seen a Carr get sacked like that since I rubbed my nuts all over the hood of my ex’s new boyfriend’s Civic.
That’s one way to wax your balls
He does know that ‘en suite’ just means a room with a toilet, right?
Also, who started the DC D? I didn’t see THAT on any sleeper lists
The Redacteds are playing so swell, I almost wanna call ’em by their official name, then I remember it’s all racialist and shit.
Jimmy T!!!! Or Boxcar James as he is known on the rails
Doctson? Was that Doctson? We got Doctson here.
See, nobody cares.
I was expecting “Kick kid going down the slide in the face.”
CAPTAIN KIRK THROWED 3 TD PASSES
This is the weirdest week of football I’ve seen in a while.
it’s been a rare week to feel good about loving it, fun games, everyone shitting on Trump
huzzah!
Goddamn!
That is a brilliant throw and catch!
Fun fact of the week: “Jack del Rio”, loosely translated, means “masturbate into the river”
God bless PFTCommenter for that all-timer of a tweet.
You don’t know if it’s a challenge or not until you collapse the waveform
And then you find out if Jay Cutler is alive or dead?
She retired from the biz.
Of hula hoop?
Oh, never mind.
Well, she was 29 for chrissakes.
That’s like…MILF territory in that industry.
“LaCroix entered the adult film industry in December 2011, with a gang bang scene”
Well, when that’s your start I can’t imagine you’re planning out a 40 year career.
If this week has reinforced anything. It’s reinforced the fact that SJWs are destroying the west with Marxism and money funded by George Soros and the new world order. Now if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to go to my bedroom and jerk off onto my Japanese anime babe body pillow.
Make sure a lube up your libertarian tax free dildo.
I don’t use no vaseline. I like to do it raw.
It seems fitting that one of the last Thursdays I’ll ever be in Chicago will feature the Bears getting asswhooped by the Packers. I should drink some malort, get mugged, and steal Rahm’s kid’s phone to fully encapsulate the Chicago experience
Your timing is off. Next time plan it during January so you can get stuck in O’hare for three days waiting out a blizzard. THEN your Chicago experience will be complete.
Finally, a Moose post I can share with Dame Nobyl.
AGGRESSIVE BLINKING TOMLIN
I dare any of you to find another human being living or dead who blinks as deliberately and aggressively as Mike Tomlin does. I can hear him blink across the room.
NBC: We’ll cover an important political issue, but first a Toyota commercial
Oooh if we are good this week can we have some Truth Biscuit thursday night please?
Do you think there’s some sort of highlander thing going on with tv football commentators?
That sensation Jim Nantz is feeling in his pants is called the Patsening.
Your thoughts are interesting. Please go on and I may subscribe to your newsletter.
I don’t know, but if there is, Romo will be the only one left.
Derek belongs in a Chevy commercial ’cause he’s a shitty Carr.
RIP shoulders
Ah, reminds me of Twister with Randy Shilts back in the day!
Don’t let my HR rep see this, it’s how I actually hurt my knee.
During beach cunnilingus?
Close, gravel parking lot behind a Waffle house.
DON’T JUDGE ME!!
Almost any time one can doughnut glaze the face one should.
Getting progressively more and more pissed that my waiver for Chris Thompson failed