Your “It’s Been An Adventure, Hasn’t It?” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

The Pre-dent of your Untied States has made NFL owners and players sympathetic figures. Is there nothing he can’t do? What have we learned today? We’ve achieved peak Bearness-there’s nowhere to go but …sideways? The Giants O continues to stink on ice. And Grass. And Astroturf. And during the day. And at night. DeKizer Soze will try his very best but he’s a rook on a team that likes to destroy their employee’s will to succeed. Erin Andrews’ sun hat makes her nose look really big. The Giants aren’t allowed to score legit touchdowns, just because. Starting Mercedes Lewis out of the blue in fantasy gets you mega points and makes you seem smarter than you actually are. Case Keenum will wreck your shit every coupla years if you give him a chance. The Denver run D is for real again, damn it! It makes little to no difference whether you start Newton or Winston at the QB spot. (as of early in the second half) I’ve learned nothing else today. TO THE GAME!

RAIDERS/REDACTEDS: This is kinda a weird game to get an accurate read on. Rb Kelley is out so look for rook Perine to shine a bit unless Thompson decides to steal his thunder. Where has wr Pryor been? His catch rate is 53% and he’s accounted for a mere 97 yards to this point. He’s got the look of a boom/bust guy as far as fantasy is concerned. Qb Cousins needs to get on the same page as him. There’s your homework fellas-have at it. Perhaps cb Norman will take wr Cooper out of the game, perhaps not. Mine own opinion is that Raiders qb Carr just has too many weapons to not succeed here.

Enjoy the game.

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King Hippo

That was just fucking sad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Extended version.

Gratliff

That’s a demon right there.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Doktor Zymm

Why the counting beforehand?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Practice. Wait ’til she takes her shoes and shirt off. She’ll get up to 22.

Horatio Cornblower

23 if her belly-button’s pierced.

Spoiler alert: it is.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Has anyone checked to make sure Rikki-Tikki-Deadly hasn’t offed himself?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Soooooo yeah…it’s gonna LOOK like I’m closing the door…..

Horatio Cornblower

Yes, we are out of toilet paper and OH HELL YES I am absolutely sure of that.

Romonobyl

Well, at least the roll is put on the right way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OSHA can breathe a sigh of relief.

King Hippo

GODFUCKINGDAMNIT. Thanks for the 3-4 am nightmare

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do you have toilet paper stocked?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh never mind. Fumbre to the Raiders. He’s probably rubbing one out now.

He be OK.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Maestro

This GIF never fails to make me laugh.

Gratliff

Going for goodfeathers. Like this one better.
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OMG HE CONTROLS THE BIRDS TOO

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I think this year, like last, my sole moment of FF glory will be beating Zymm.

No, I still have no idea how that happens.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

If I believed in such things, I would say this is because I’m moving, and footballs teams based near where I live all have to suck

Dick E. Phuck

It’s a natural law

Beastmode Ate My Baby

The Bay area also sucks. Just so you know this ahead of time.

laserguru

I don’t think the Raiders understood the no trip to Washington thing properly.

WCS

PROFACT: Mike Tomlin is now 6-11 on the road as a touchdown or more favorite.

Why, hello, gin and tonics!

Also, hi to you deplorables.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

they wud have wun the game if they had strted on the field insted of the locker room smh

King Hippo

I was getting gin drunk the other day and kept wondering if I should say “gins and tonic”

The Maestro

It’s multiple of each part though, right? I’d argue “gins and tonics” should be the plural form.

King Hippo

this is good point. None of the three options sounded right when I said them out loud. But that might have been the gin talking.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve always gone with gin and tonics, as the name of the drink is ‘gin and tonic’ so that’s what your pluralizing

theeWeeBabySeamus

BARTENDER…MOAR BOOZE PLZ.

You guys complicate things way too much.

Doktor Zymm

damn, he might have a 200 YD GAME

King Hippo

He good.

/they won’t use him like this again all year, go straight back to Fat Rob

Horatio Cornblower

More than likely, since I just picked him up and apparently started him today. Didn’t even realize it.

Doktor Zymm

he’s not a big dude, not sure he could take this workload on a consistent basis. And Rob ain’t a bad option, he just don’t have CT’s speed

Dick E. Phuck

“We’ll see about that”
– Aaron Rodgers

King Hippo

Methinks tWBS is irritated by my 3 garbage time TDs in DFO fantasy today. 😀

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh, it provided the separation so I wouldn’t give a shit about losing a close one.
So….I’m good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Animals: They’re assholes just like we are!

Doktor Zymm

Holeeeeee Chris Thompson!

herodotus450

I’m nearly market-ready with my line of miscarriage reveal props; wish me luck!

hippofant

Cousins missed the giant question mark.

Dick E. Phuck

If that’s any indication, it means that boy is gonna have a completion percentage below 50%.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Deep end of the swimming pool, shallow end of the gene pool.

King Hippo

I have never found a 2 score game, in normal weather with a full quarter to play, in any less danger,

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

I predict that if Washington doesn’t score here, the Raiders will win the game.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I was sad to see Jared Cook leave the Packers, but I’m glad he’s found a home on another team.

King Hippo

STANDS. NO BEAST MODE SCORES

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU SHUT UP!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

If Larry Fitzgerald catches like a dozen TD’s tomorrow, I can still catch you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Took wood to the face unexpectedly, but kept laughing.
I like this girl.

Horatio Cornblower

Good old Cris, looking to establish the running game down 21-0 with 4 minutes left in the 3rd.

King Hippo

He also thought Trump might be thinking of apologizing in the intro sequence, given the unamimous owner/management/player FUCK YOU backlash.

How did he ever graduate high school?

Horatio Cornblower

I saw that and immediately figured that he had worse CTE than Hernandez.

Doktor Zymm

This drive will be integral in where I set the line for over/under on headlines tomorrow that say ‘Carr Trouble?’

Also, Kerrigan is full awesome

Senor Weaselo

Is it bad that because it’s you I read it as calculus integral instead of synonym for essential integral?

Horatio Cornblower

Today I learned Remy retired. I’d rather it was Romo, again.

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King Hippo

Tonight, DFO learned Horatio is an ass man.

Horatio Cornblower

Much more so than breasts anyway.

Dick E. Phuck

This might be the start of something

...

So I made several mistakes tonight. One was to watch that new Star Trek series which was dull and dumb because that’s what happens you just slap a brand name on the side of some other crap.

But by second was keeping the TV on CBS to watch football-delayed 60 Minutes and an Oprah lead focus group with Trump voters and non-Trump voters that proved no one knows anything and we’re all dumb. (Or maybe it was just edited that way.)

Doktor Zymm

You’re missing a pretty good game, unless you’re a Raiders fan

...

Oh, I’ve had this game on for the past hour. It’s been better than both the previous two things I watched.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I sympathize with your plight. May I suggest watching the original Stargate SG1 series instead. It is truly an excellent classic

hippofant

Really, that skateboarder probably wipes out some old lady within 5 seconds of putting in those stupid headphones.

Gratliff

Paul Ryan’s Social Security reforms are slowly becoming reality.

Dick E. Phuck

I haven’t seen a Carr get sacked like that since I rubbed my nuts all over the hood of my ex’s new boyfriend’s Civic.

Doktor Zymm

That’s one way to wax your balls

Doktor Zymm

He does know that ‘en suite’ just means a room with a toilet, right?

Doktor Zymm

Also, who started the DC D? I didn’t see THAT on any sleeper lists

King Hippo

The Redacteds are playing so swell, I almost wanna call ’em by their official name, then I remember it’s all racialist and shit.

litre_cola

Jimmy T!!!! Or Boxcar James as he is known on the rails

herodotus450

Doctson? Was that Doctson? We got Doctson here.

Dick E. Phuck

See, nobody cares.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I was expecting “Kick kid going down the slide in the face.”

King Hippo

CAPTAIN KIRK THROWED 3 TD PASSES

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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This is the weirdest week of football I’ve seen in a while.

King Hippo

it’s been a rare week to feel good about loving it, fun games, everyone shitting on Trump

Doktor Zymm

huzzah!

Doktor Zymm

Goddamn!

Doktor Zymm

That is a brilliant throw and catch!

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Fun fact of the week: “Jack del Rio”, loosely translated, means “masturbate into the river”

The Maestro

God bless PFTCommenter for that all-timer of a tweet.

Doktor Zymm

You don’t know if it’s a challenge or not until you collapse the waveform

Dunstan

And then you find out if Jay Cutler is alive or dead?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dick E. Phuck

She retired from the biz.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Of hula hoop?

Oh, never mind.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, she was 29 for chrissakes.

Dick E. Phuck

That’s like…MILF territory in that industry.

Horatio Cornblower

“LaCroix entered the adult film industry in December 2011, with a gang bang scene”

Well, when that’s your start I can’t imagine you’re planning out a 40 year career.

Dick E. Phuck

If this week has reinforced anything. It’s reinforced the fact that SJWs are destroying the west with Marxism and money funded by George Soros and the new world order. Now if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to go to my bedroom and jerk off onto my Japanese anime babe body pillow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Make sure a lube up your libertarian tax free dildo.

Dick E. Phuck

I don’t use no vaseline. I like to do it raw.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

It seems fitting that one of the last Thursdays I’ll ever be in Chicago will feature the Bears getting asswhooped by the Packers. I should drink some malort, get mugged, and steal Rahm’s kid’s phone to fully encapsulate the Chicago experience

Romonobyl

Your timing is off. Next time plan it during January so you can get stuck in O’hare for three days waiting out a blizzard. THEN your Chicago experience will be complete.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Finally, a Moose post I can share with Dame Nobyl.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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AGGRESSIVE BLINKING TOMLIN

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I dare any of you to find another human being living or dead who blinks as deliberately and aggressively as Mike Tomlin does. I can hear him blink across the room.

Spur

NBC: We’ll cover an important political issue, but first a Toyota commercial

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Oooh if we are good this week can we have some Truth Biscuit thursday night please?

Doktor Zymm

Do you think there’s some sort of highlander thing going on with tv football commentators?

Dick E. Phuck

That sensation Jim Nantz is feeling in his pants is called the Patsening.

litre_cola

Your thoughts are interesting. Please go on and I may subscribe to your newsletter.

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I don’t know, but if there is, Romo will be the only one left.

Spur

Derek belongs in a Chevy commercial ’cause he’s a shitty Carr.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

RIP shoulders

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Ah, reminds me of Twister with Randy Shilts back in the day!

Romonobyl

Don’t let my HR rep see this, it’s how I actually hurt my knee.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

During beach cunnilingus?

Romonobyl

Close, gravel parking lot behind a Waffle house.
DON’T JUDGE ME!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Almost any time one can doughnut glaze the face one should.

Doktor Zymm

Getting progressively more and more pissed that my waiver for Chris Thompson failed