It’s an interesting week this week here in TGISF-land. We’ve reached a bit of a milestone around here, I suppose.
Even though Sexy Friday has been around…well, longer than I have actually…my iteration of it, TGISF, turns one year old this week. How about that, huh?
Now, now, none of that. Sit your ugly asses down.
This ain’t that kinda joint and you know it. This isn’t some kind of fancy cotillion, FFS. This is a fucking party!!!!
So put on your birthday suits…and let’s get started.
Because that’s our theme this week, Girls In Their Birthday Suits.
(yes, you heard me correctly)
((try not to drool on the cake))
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One Year Old
Obligatory “That’s longer than most of my adult relationships last!!!” joke.
(it’s funny ‘cuz it’s true)
The last time I was one year old was many, many years ago. Interestingly enough, I’m less mature now than I was then. To wit…
So yeah, I suppose that’s part of the reason why ballsofsteelandfury ever even asked me to do TGISF a little over a year ago in the first place. I have very little in the way of morals, and even less maturity. Sometimes, the right man for the job just falls in your lap…
That didn’t make it better….I know. LMFAO.
So what did we accomplish in the past year? Not much, as it turns out.
We showed ya’s varied and sundry suggestive images of lovely ladies, of course. Which was the whole point.
Other than that, we talked a lot. Well I talked a lot. I told ya’s some things about me, maybe too much at times….
We looked at more girls.
We had some educational moments, even if two of those did happen to be surfing and marijuana….
We looked at more girls.
We talked about sports, listened to some music and had some laughs. We enjoyed one another’s company (usually, lol) and had a great deal of fellowship.
Aaaaaannnndd…..We looked at more girls.
Huh…. I guess maybe we accomplished more than I thought.
Soooooooo….
Here’s to another year of all of it… IF you guys are up for it, of course.
And if you ARE willing, we’ll go ahead and get started right now…
TGISF Season TWO: It’s gonna be way worse this time around
Incidentally, I insisted that [DoorFliesOpen] management supply us with a cake for this party, or else I wasn’t gonna do this.
I suppose it could have been worse….
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One Year Young
I was going to wax philosophic, or maybe even poetic, here for a little while. But yeah, I’m not gonna do that (you’re welcome).
I had also considered naming some of my favorite things from the past year of TGISF (ie a superlatives type thing both regarding the posts themselves, but also commentists’ input). But yeah, I’m not gonna do that either. It would take too long and I’d end up leaving someone or something out.
So instead, it’s Birthday Bonus Sexy Time!!!! (like you ever doubted it, anyway)
SEXY GIRLS WITH CAKES!!!!!
Rut Roh, she brought friends. This party just got interesting. I’ll leave you to the sports while I go….check on a few things in the kitchen. Yeah……you stay there…no matter what you hear, don’t come in there.
And listen to this I guess…really loudly, just in case.
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Sports Which Will Make You Cry On Your Birthday
NFL
The Pats visited Tampa Bay last night for Week 5 TNF. It wasn’t exactly a good game. Pats won. But not convincingly. But they do limp to 3-2 with the “kicker heavy” win (up yours Horatio Cornblower ), 19-14 final from Tampa Bay. The best news here is that Jameis Winston did not win.
You heard me, assface. Go rape a crab or something you fucking piece of shit.
MLB
The Yanks and the D-Backs survived their wildcard tilts with Minnesota and Colorado respectively, and now have moved on to their divisional series. In fact the Yanks started theirs last night vs Cleveland….and not in a good way. While the D-Backs get rolling against the Dodgers later tonight.
Also getting started last night was the other ALDS, Boston/Houston. ALTUVE!!!!!!!! Fuck off, Boston. Nobody likes you. Time to have a Sale. Hehehehe….get it?
Today’s/Tonight’s games:
- Boston at Houston: Game Two – 2:05pmEDT (HOU leads 1-0)
- NYY at Cleveland: Game Two – 5:05pmEDT (CLE leads 1-0)
- CHC at Washington: Game One – 7:31pmEDT – TV: TBS
- Arizona at LAD: Game One – 10:31pmEDT – TV: TBS
Here’s your whole MLB postseason schedule, if you care.
UPDATE: Boston falls to Houston again today by an 8-2 final, now trail the ‘Stros in the series 2-0. Suck it, Boston. Yanks putting up a little more fight today vs the Tribe…if it goes final before pub time I’ll have a final for you here.
NCAA Football
Well would ya lookit that? A ranked NC State team managed to beat another ranked team. Do you know when the last time that happened is? Yeah, me neither…seriously, it’s been so long I really don’t remember. If not for a week one upset at the hands of South Carolina (never trust a ‘Cock…believe me), we’d have been in the playoff conversation next week. Not rightfully, but we’d have been there. But all things considered, I’ll take it.
Last night, mine and King Hippo’s (24)NC State Wolfpack welcomed (17)Louisville to Raleigh for a Thursday night tilt. Now, Louisville, as an institution, has not had a good week. But I’m happy to report NC State made it worse on Thursday night. I thought we were gonna blow it, frankly. But a late turnover sealed it, more or less.
Fuck off Bobby Petrino. Mostly because you’re a bad coach and a worse human being. Your job is safe for now but you’re just as bad as that other pinhead. Probably even worse.
But before you go Bobby, watch this….
Pack wins, 39-25. Suck it, Louisville.
Now if we can manage not to shit the bed on the road at Pitt and at Notre Dame (unlikely, btw), we might even finally get College Gameday back to town the first week in November when Clemson rolls into town.
Tonight:
- Memphis at UConn – 7:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN
- Boise State at BYU – 10:15pmEDT – TV: ESPN
NHL
Still too early for much talky talky here I suppose.
But beerguyrob already had you covered with a most excellent NHL preview a coupla days ago.
But if you’re starved for the ice, there are a few games tonight. But you’ll probably still be starving afterwards…fair warning.
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Sexy Birthday Suits
Yes, as promised we are doing Girls In Their Birthday Suits this week.
But FWIW, these are “Implied Nudes”. What does that mean? It means you get to see the art and the beauty, but none of the naughtiest bits.
Still beautiful though.
Enjoy…
NO!!!! Not THAT!!!!! That’s not what I mean….as far as you know. Well….never mind.
Seems like a good place to stop tho.
But between you guys and the nekkid girls, this was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVAR!!!!!!
Dammit, I blew too soon again. I hate it when that happens.
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Season Two
What will the second year of TGISF bring? Hell if I know. And even if I did I wouldn’t tell ya’s yet. You know how I like to be coy about such things.
And I do still have a lot of themes/special princesses still unused in my back pocket soooooooo….
But if I had to guess, I suspect it’ll be more or less the same as year one. Though I’m always open to suggestion, fwiw.
In any case, if you are up for another year of this nonsense, we’ll figure it out together as we go.
And hopefully also make it better as we go and keep making it something we all enjoy.
That’s my goal, anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HtXao342qI
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The Afterglow
OK folks, now that the party is dying down, I can finally get some cake…
Awwwwww, man!!!! NOT cool…..
Sara Jean!!!!! We need another cake!!!!!
Good enough, Doll. I like your idea better anyway. Pop that thing open and let’s do this.
No, I meant the bottle. But your idea is good too.
And now where’s everyone going???? Oh sure, I don’t mind cleaning this mess up all by myself. What? You think Sara Jean is gonna be any help here? She hasn’t had to clean anything since….well maybe ever.
But fine….
You guys are jerks. Plus you left too soon and missed the best part of the party….
But I still love ya’s I suppose.
And in all sincerity, I’d like to thank each and every one of you. Not only for your “support” of TGISF for the past year. But also just in general for making me feel like I have a home here at [DFO]. This is a pretty special group of numbskulls we’ve got here, and I’m proud to be one of them.
Wait, let me rephrase that….
Have a good weekend, everyone.
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Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme? Drop me a line…
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Try anti-depressants. It takes forever.
(sigh) yeah.
He didn’t impale himself.
🙁
Yeah, I can’t beat off to that.
High School Memories:
Literally torn every dick off while giving a handy.
Why were you giving so much head?
I mean, if they demand head, they’re not really your friends.
She must be from Venus, Earth is too nippy for her.
(Ok ok, just play it cool, lot of Key and Peele-esque names in thi BSU-BYU game, just play it cool)
Haden Hoggarth? Hoggarth the Horrible! Rhett Almond? Kicks like Almond butter.
(And those were just hte kickers. His name is designed to have “the Horrible” added to it, what am I supposed to do, keep this to myself? Can do better than Almond butter though…)
(Let’s just cool down with a nice Jake Roh, Alexander Mattison, and a Talon Shumway)
Talon Shumway! Was his mom an eagle that his dad found at the grocery store?
(Shit I’m losing it, don’t look at BYU receivers, don’t look at BUY receivers…)
Oh, Bushman, heh, that’s nice. A nice cooldown name. Ula Tolutau, probably Samoan, I hope he’s good so those USC fucks didn’t get him.
(just play it cool, keep it cool…)
(uh oh)
Montell Cozart!? after further review, you ARE the father!
Quinn “Home” Skillen!
Squally Canada! Was Hurricane Puerto Rico taken?
/Blows his Tanner Mangum all over the place
Sog-Hoggarth
His dad is ALF
So happy Peele had such great success with Get Out. Those two are fucking awesome.
https://gfycat.com/spanishnauticalbluejay
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Moar exciting than the 0-0 match?
More exciting than any baseball game.
They’re talking about how there’s a Missionary School at BYU.
Arizona State offers a Masters in Doggy Style.
Penn State’s Sodom and Gomorrah class is amazing.
They hand out degrees with a rhythmic slapping sound.
And First Mile Foundation stock
Less conspicuous than a settlement check.
Arkansas’ inter-breeding program is pretty impressive.
#ItJustMeansMore
Sibling Husbandry?
That’s what you get for being a GLOREE MUSICAL CHAIRS PLAYER.
Also GLOOREEE BOOYYYY MUSICAL CHAIRS
The glorious days when MTV owned Nickelodeon. The oral history or Ren and Stimpy is amazing, especially how much of a prick John Kricfalusi is.
Holy shit, I need to see/read that.
It’s in a kinda meh book about 90s Nickelodeon, but there’s some good nuggets in it and R and S is it. This episode led to them terminating John K, and it didn’t even air:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4wwcyo
Holy shit (watched the thing).
Killer Lyric “God it’s so painful when something that’s so close is still so far out of reach”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXkblbJqwn0
Sounds like Spur’s remote fell off the coffee table.
more like that last Frito chip
Thoughts and prayers
OK, that one got me.
These Golden Knights you know how I know they’re from Vegas? Cause they give out all the free shots you can handle, but still come out ahead in the end.
/Given up 40 shots in 2.5 periods. Tied 1-1
To be fair, Dallas can do that to anyone when they’re going good. Even JFK.
Oh, they shot a beloved Las Vegas president in the head?
Someone must’ve gotten Harry Reid.
I think it was a Schwinn.
Dunno how much you guys have discussed this, but I’m really really sad that both the Yanks and Sawx are down 2-0. Really sad.
hee hee, yeah
And congrats on your big win last night. Didn’t need the 4 points as it turned out.
Thanks. Got a wee bit terrifying late, but the defense came up YUUUUUGE
More sad tumescence out of Spam
Wait…are you saying I can’t get it up? YOU TALK TO MY WIFE???
Yes, I’m just shattered emotionally. I might never recover. (/s)
Ok, after much consideration, I’ll do this. But I will NOT make breakfast the next morning.
You could make some…… yogurt…..
Canadians have back bacon, and I make back yogurt.
That’s OK. She brought her own rolls.
Really?
HOW THE FUCK ET CETERA?
Thanks. Today (this week) sucked, and that’s a happy pic. Plus, I finally opened a beer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fdBDJzcgrg
Wow!!!! There’s a lot of white people on the field in Provo.
Wait till you see the BYU basketball team.
Ooops…left that out a bit too much. Ginger terrorist beard took it deep.
What porn are you watching?
He’s just a talib…
/who burns easily ,, ppl forget that
Thank you for specifying ginger terrorist beard, considering all the other beards in the league.
I try not to discriminate.
So many empty LA seats.
Good thing the chargers don’t play at Chavez.
At the Ralphie May wake bro.
Time to ball up, Dbacks!
Sorry man, have to pull Los Dodgeros, in order fer to stop the Small Bears.
my comments are awaiting moderation?
SOP for Cowboys fans.
Check again.
Que Bella
“Tell him to suck my He can have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.”
Repeat, but god damn.
Reverse angle confirm the call on the field.
Hail Sparta!
I am Spirticus.
Memphis hits the magic 70 mark.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ljlvfkb1Q4U
THAT is one awesome fucking song. Criminally underrated.
WOOOOOOOOOO. Ten to go.
TSA approved undies.
Well that’s it for me, I’ll be sure to pop in again in about 17 months.
Good night and as always fuck the Patriots.
We’ll see you FOAR Jets’ Wild Card Weekend, at least.
That makes two of us.
Dusty Baker making Lovie Smith look emotional there
All Dusty emotions come back to “moderately confused.”
He has the Tucker Carlson patch?
that would be one helluva conversation
Molly McGrath is cute all bundled up against teh UT cold, too. Awwww.
Good old-fashioned erotica. Like what I grew up on, except paper versions of usenet sex stories.
Boise State/Team Big Love (Original Flavour) on ESPN2 if tired of UConn snuff film
Oh man. Ralphie May dead at 45…Yeah, that sounds about right.
gives me hope that maybe if I could just gain another 100-150 pounds, I could be ded in a year too
Oh, good. I have a ways to go.
Died of pneumonia, which is weird because AIDS victims are usually skinny.
Wow.
“Maybe he had the GOOD AIDS!” – Larry David
Thanks
He would’ve loved this joke.
Joke?
Ah ha! My Bat-Anti-Bikini-Repellent-Spray worked,
Why a belt?
The ever famous “Utility Belt.” She just has more efficient gadgets than Batman….. so to speak.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrc1zGEPPmg
I’d like to thank Joe Girardi for mismanaging the fuck out of this game.
It was like the opposite managing of the WC game.
el beisbol es muy fuckin’ weird that way
Hi, Monica!
Best Monica of all time?
Monica Cruz
Yes
As if UCONN getting prison raped wasn’t bad enough, Horatio is going to be slitting the throats of hookers after that Cleveland rally. Senor, too.
No, no, Horatio’s got… definitely not his friend’s friend, I said nothing.
I actually don’t give a fuck about UCONN football; it’s a joke and they should drop the program. It loses millions every year and they suck. Not a good combination.
As for the Yankees, the less said the better. I may need some alibis later.