Whether it be Thanksguiving, Columbus Day, or Indigenous Peoples Day, happy holiday Monday to you all.
And if you didn’t have a holiday today, maybe move to a better state or country.
There’s no NFL News update because I may or may not have typed this last Thursday, right before I picked up my first bottle ahead of the Thursday Night game. If the Patriots lost, I’m blitzed until Tuesday.
Game preview: Vikings at Bears.
Hold onto your butts, because tonight marks the first appearance of…
the Truth Biscuit!
Mitch Trubisky, fresh from a whole 13 starts at the U*NC, starts tonight & we’ll get to see whether the Bears laughably wasted those draft picks to move up one spot to get him. Looking at their schedule, it’s probably the best time to start him, as after this the Bears next face off against the Ravens, Panthers, Saints & Packers. If they ever wanted to get him a start & avoid David Carr-ing him, this is the game. Plus, they have a deadly 1-2 combination at running back. If John Fox is a smart man, the ratio of running-to-passing plays is 2 or 3:1.
(Ron Howard voice: he was not a smart man.)
The Vikings, meanwhile, don’t know who’s starting half their positions until they take attendance on the bus leaving the hotel. A Filipino bellhop could end up being their long snapper if he doesn’t get off in time. Current starting QB Teddy Bridgewater Sam Bradford Danny Wuerffel Case Keenum just has to copy the Rodgers tape from last week & stay upright in order to have a successful-enough game to carry the Vikings to victory.
Anyone for a 10-10 tie?
(A billion thanks to Low Commander for the awesome photoshop.)
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Vikings at Bears – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- en espanol en ESPN2
- Vikings at Bears – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- NHL:
- Black Hawks at Leafs – 9:00PM | NHLN; TSN4 (regional)
- MLB:
- Game 4 (if necessary) – AL Divisional Series – 8:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet1
Holiday Monday and a short work week?
I’m 4 episodes into The Good Place. It’s OK. I thought it was supposed to be really funny, but, it’s not. From what I’ve seen so far and from who gave Kristen Bell’s character the note, I have this theory that Ted Danson’s character is the devil’s henchman and he’s just messing with those people and they’re really in the bad place.
I also just finished watching Season 3 of Narcos. It was a 10 episode season for a storyline that was at best, 5-6 episodes. There was no gratuitous nudity and it wasn’t all that violent. Those two wonderful things kept the first 2 seasons passable, in terms of having seasons longer than they should. I mean, Andrea Londo was right there, damnit!
Yeah, you need to stick with that show.
Here’s a fun chemistry question for those of you California locals who parked outside tonight. We have ash blowing over the top of us and a wet marine layer settling in.
What do you get when you combine water and ash?
If you answered lye you get an A+!
And a trip to the body shop!
This shit is nasty.
Finally, we’re getting somewhere.
I got to say.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4UqMyldS7Q
Wait, so Porgs are NOT cannon?
I’ve had a discussion with the board members and the higher ups and they asked that you refrain from posting any additional Imagine Dragons videos.
Other than that you’re a righteous dude.
Tough, but fair.
Things. Just. Got. Interesting.
Even the umps can’t fuck this call up I guess.
I wanna see those replays again. I think AZ just got boned but I was out of the room and only saw one as they were wrapping up the challenge. Sure look like the impact moved his glove. As I understand the rules, even if it did also hit the bat, he should have gotten his base.
Challenge it Joe! Wait, wrong game.
God I love this defense so much.
Finish the joke, man!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hzrDeceEKc
Just kidding. Love you Brother Moose!
Damn. Wikipedia says Young Sheldon will premiere in November. They showed the first episode to grab a huge audience.
I’ll need a dozen of those to get through it.
Dickless, racist losers.
Why does Mike Pence seem like he’d be more comfortable owning a black man than talking to one?
Because he would.
Dammit TBS. Why is 2nd base a different color with no baserunner?
Assholes.
How the hell should I know wh……oh never mind.
Well do they?
You gotta read the book….sheeeesh.
Ask Sean Young.
If the time stamp had seconds, we could tell.
It took me way too long to get this.
I’m not nearly drunk enough.
Well, that was at least more interesting than the Giraffe’s work, so I’ll take it. See you cretins at the next post.
G’nite, sweet prince.
So hopefully, blax didn’t just jump.
Lucky for him, there aren’t any tall buildings in that state. So unless he’s near the Grand Canyon, I think he’s safe.
He’s in the upper deck at this game.
Some fat snowbird below will break his fall.
Somewhere along the way I managed to pinch a nerve in my left shoulder. It’s normally not too bad, but carrying a backpack hurts like hell now. Not great for travel.
What’s that smell? Oh its Scott Van Pelt’s lack of talent, that’s what I smelled.
Fuck yeah kamen rider
Did they already cancel “Young Sheldon”?
Supposedly it got huge ratings, but you’d never know if you talked to actual people.
Robots and flyover country?
(No offencse to those of you in flyover country.)
PRAISE BE TO BLEERGH (if true)
They not only cancelled the show and fired the producer, they beat the shit out of Sheldon.
But hopefully the adult one.
Why not both?
Bears even manage to make a lateral play boring.
that was insufficiently wacky, Foxy
I can fucking hear the beatwriters all ready:
1.rookie qb’s first career start
2.zero nfl quallity receivers
3.rest of the team ravaged by injures
4.inept offensive coordinator
none of this shit will matter. nope. chicago is literally the most incompetent franchise ever, and they are literally the worst at everything.
the beat writers will then give a double handy to brady and rodgers simultaneously.
Destroy the NFL
Cubs won. This game’s on page six of the sports section.
Is it OK if I do him and he does me?
— A. Rodgers
Mr Winkles is warming up in the dressing room
I’ve seen actual abortions that weren’t as big of abortions as this game.
the Abortion Tier is WAY worth the extra $5.99/month imo
This game was a third trimester abortion because it was basically murder
“just toll it down the stairs a few times, that should do the trick!”
No first down, so we’ll still get a Truth Biscuit crazy lateral play.
Speaking of Snow White…
Rudolph held him. What kind of fucking bizarreo world is this?
one where chicago got royally fucked on penalty calls tonight. but that won’t make the papers
Truth Biscuit or Sex Cannon: which is which?
Trick question; Truth Biscuit is one of Sex Cannon’s 94 illegitimate children.
Father and son?
Sexy Rexy has way better eye brows.
I had the same thought!
Hail BLEERGH! MOAR flags!
…aaaaaand Brandon Marshall’s out for the year. At this rate, the Giants might sign Kaep to play WR.
Maybe they’ll just merge the Giants and Bears into one team
Still no wideouts
One the other hand, Other Brandon Marshall is fine.
oops, one safety throws directly to too far
Trubiskerception. Shocking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGf4NnhsXlk
smelling like OT, I know I want to stay up all goddamned night for this
Bears are gonna play Prevent and try to win the game in the shoot out.
Also, the announcers love Chase Utley, maybe more than someone else…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU4w9FaSZ5M
Well, he has that certain SOMETHING.
(It’s whiteness. They like his whiteness.)
I think the Bears defense is a theoretical construct.
Since no one has ever observed the Bears D, the waveform never collapsed, so it’s still a superimposition of the possibility or impossibility of defense
Duh.
Additionally, as we know the exact speed of the Bears Defense (very slow) we can have no idea where they are
Zach Grienke has thrown 80 pitches in four innings.
“Four innings? Can you do that?” -Red Sox starting pitchers this postseason
/Tee hee
Benny Cunningham? Fake punt? John Fox is the new Jeff Fisher.
Love the praise from the announcers for the Bears managing to line up correctly before the snap
On officiating: “They want to get it right, if at all possible.”
the Bears are now doing their normal Q4
The altitude sickness has got Dok.
That’ll happen when you’ve been kidnapped & taken to Tibet.
Lama Lama Lama Laaaaaaaaama
I had some of that in Cusco. Not bad, I just felt about 90 every time I had to go up a flight of stairs or walk really fast.
I feel the same way, but I’m just fat.
Notice that Truth Biscuit looks like Sex Cannon?
More like a dead-eyed Leinart to me.
with face kinda flattened and spread out
I would watch a buddy reality show with Gronk and Truth Biscuit
The Syphilis Bros.
The theme song is to the tune of NOFX’s The Moron Brothers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNgo1Kyhe6g
It would be more entertaining than that show about how awful New Jersey is, and that was super popular!