With Thursday’s pathetic home loss to Lyon, Everton are essentially out of Europe after only half of their group ties played (their 1 point representing the worst English result at this stage ever – and that’s even counting Hull the season they made it whilst playing in the Championship). Combined with a shocking 15th position in the League Table, and a goal difference that should be good for 17th – the time has come for Koeman to get the sack. IMMEDIATELY.
Whilst I wait for the P45 to scurry forth, Chelsea and Watford kick off the weekend in a surprisingly good matchup (7:30, NBCSN). In fact, the defending champs are looking up at the Moose Hornets in the Table! Imagine that.
Romelu Lukaku (SIGH) will be on beast mode display as Man United take on Huddersfield Town to highlight the 10:00 window (NBCSN). League leaders City take on 7th position Burnley in a pretty compelling fixture on CNBC. For once, the window doesn’t suck out loud! Swans/Foxes highlights the NBC Gold slate, should the Mancs go on a roll.
12:30 is Soton/WBA. HARD PASS.
The atmosphere will be toxic Sunday when the Gooners visit Goodison Park (8:30, NBCSN), with Olivier Giroud – who tantalizingly almost joined the Toffees over the summer – no doubt scoring a clinching 2nd or 3rd goal late. 3rd position Spurs and the #8 Redshite (11:00, NBCSN) close matters out with another tasty matchup. All in all, a solid weekend from your Lesser Footy pals.
Oklahoma State at Texas (Noon, ABC)
The ‘Horns put a scare into the other Okie team during the Red River SHOOTOUT last week, now get the full home crowd against their paddle-happy BDSM cousins. There will be points.
Iowa State at Texas Tech (Noon, FS1)
Herein lies an under the radar good game, one which should also be kinda fun. Winner could be moderately relevant, nationally speaking. GUNS UP!!
Oklahoma at Kansas State (4:00, Fox)
Boy howdy, is the 3:30 slate full o’ merde, y’all. Back again to warn of the Undead Bill Snyders trap game, but eventually they have to win one of these or I start looking like an asshole. OK, more of an asshole.
Kentucky at Mississippi State (4:00, SECN)
Like Cyclones v. Guns Up!!, but with Southern folk.
Oregon at UCLA (4:00, PAC12)
A game without defensing, always fun to have as flipping option. Jesus, can you imagine how shitty the Bruins will be without Chosen Rosen?
USC at Notre Dame (7:30, NBC)
Two pretty hateable sides, but I will be a rowdy Troi Boiz fan for one night only. And it is kinda sorta nice for this to be in prime time and meaningful again. Especially since it detracts from the completely unpreviewed paedo-fluffing abortion ABC is hyping up.
Kansas at TCU (8:00, Fox)
I just wanted to point out that this fucker is indeed on national goddamned network teevee, primetime. Did someone lose a bet?
Colorado at Washington State (10:45, ESPN)
You won’t like Mike Leach when he’s angry, Buffaloes. Lean week on the tweaker side, even.
I’m off to see The War On Drugs-I’ll let you know afterwards how many minorities were arrested at the concert.
O/U: all
Good decision by Snyder. Don’t give Mayfield a chance to fuck you up.
God bless Gus Johnson.
Game 7 predictions?
“Pain.”
Sorry my trembly goddamn finger accidentally hit the down arrow. Your comment made me snort-laugh.
Let Houston have this. The city’s been through a rough time, the Rockets are just meh, and it’s not like they have a football team.
“But nobody ever gives us the credit we’re due!!”
– 85-90% of New Yorkers
“Mmmmmm, tacos.”
– Canadia’s Tegan and Sara
Okay, Baker Mayfield, we get it. You’re good.
THAT’S NOT HOW YOU AIR FORCE, AIR FORCE
I wish I could go to NC State’s fixture in South Bend next week, just to wave my junk at Touchdown Jeebus.
I’d buy a ticket to that.
Good nap, woo.
Carolina getting their asses handed to them, woo.
one of my university buddies just texted, apologizing for the TD (he put the teevee on the game for Schadenfruede purposes)
True story – despite being a medium-fat guy, I don’t like gravy outside of very simple (ie, broth, water, and flour) turkey gravy.
How come fer you don’t have updates on the U*NC fixture on your sidebar no more, ESPN? GO FUCK YOURSELVES WITH THE WORLD’S RUSTIEST DILDO COLLECTION
BONK
this fixture truly has had it all
Leonard Fournette missed all 3 practices this week. If he plays, would you still play Chris Ivory as a flex?
Sweet bebe jebus i hope he plays. Been my most dependable point provider.
I would talk shite, but I left a 30+ point QB on my bench.
what are alternatives?
TyMont or Martavis B.
I’d probably lean Montgomery if the reports on Fourny are positive.
BUT, I bet Fourny doesn’t play.
When Hippo talks, I listen.
Uh, oh. Tennessee just scored a pick-six. Saban’s gonna slit three walk-on’s throats for that.
Our bartender is adorable and she’s already said “Oh geez” about 12 times. It’s a challenge keeping a strait face..
Oh geez an’so.
Didja order the hot dish honey?
Lookit Twisted Sister guy over here.
You know how I know I’m in the Midwest? I’ve been in the bar for an hour and I’ve already heard Bob Segar, Head East and Pat Travers.
Don’t ever change Midwest.
“Don’t worry, we won’t”
– The Midwest
/eyes brown ppl suspiciously
What about Prince? Have you had hot dish yet?
No but I’m eating a fried chicken dinner with sausage gravy and I’ve already had cheese curds.
I’m in Indy this weekend and we brought many many local beers and fresh curds as our traditional gifts of greeting. It is shocking how many people do NOT know good cheese curds, or what one even is smgdh.
How long does one decant the gravy before pouring it into the glass?
Depends on type. Your beef and turkeys will stay smoother longer. Country/sausage types clump quicker.
Undead Bill Snyder on recruiting: “When Nosferatu shows up on your doorstep, are you really gonna say no?”
Recruit’s Mother: “Would you like to stay for supper, Mr. Snyder? We’re having steak.”
Snyder: [triggered]
42-0 😀
Who said nothing exciting ever happens in Manhattan?
ButtDOWN!!
If that play stands, that’s one of the best plays I’ve ever seen a db make. Goolsby!
Seriously
35-nil at the half. Delightful.
Hole CB talking shit. His opponent is ahead 28-nil and driving for MOAR. Explains so much about that “university.”
Fuck both schools with a rusty lawn mower blade.
Castrated Turkeys picksixerception!! How that asssss taste, Coach Fedora?
I’m continuously baffled that my ncaa ranking system has not been implemented: If you beat a team, you swap rankings if it’s higher than yours. Then at the end of the season, they just take the top 4 schools in terms of revenue for the playoffs.
Centralize scheduling and run a 16-team playoff. Make all teh moneys.
I kind’ve like the current system actually, like they say, “the whole season is the playoffs.” It keeps hope alive for more teams, and at the very least it’s unique. Otherwise it’d just be another sport with a meaningless regular season followed by a playoff/tournament ending in a unanimous, undisputed, non-co- champion.
I hate how the current system rewards the B1G and fucks over the PAC 12 and Big 12-ish
Oh right, haha, yeah, I hate that too.
/Inconspicuously steps in front of Big Ten school diploma hanging on the wall
Nothing to see here.
//Was a little sad to see the BCS go since it was so advantageous to us
Hmmm… well, you didn’t go to Northwestern, because you never name-drop my good friend, MICHAEL WILBON, who ALSO went to MY alma mater, Northwestern! You don’t come off like a pretentious ass, so Michigan is out. In fact, you never talk about your college team, so I’m going to say….. Purdue?
Also, Wilbon really is awful.
Purdue and Sparty seem like the only engineer-y schools in the conference…
Minnesota, too. My cousin got her engineering degree from the Gophers.
Ohio State; They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. I wasn’t a fan before I went there, and was surprised to learn that at the end of every football game (and possibly every game of every sport) the fans all sing a song which only has one line, “We don’t give a damn for the whole state of Michigan,” repeated over and over and over…
I was like, that’s nice and all but we just played New Mexico State…
Today on DFO: “Redshirt Gains an Ally”
But, doing that would take away the sanctity of such luminary bowl games like the Little Caesar Bowl, the Belk Bowl, and the Gasparilla Bowl!
eh, I still only watch them because I am a shut-in. They have no meaning. They’d still exist in a 16-team playoff world, just a handful fewer of ’em.
I’d watch ’em, too, given the chance. I wish I could be more of a shut-in.
you’ll get there, time and them Irish twins
Kind of a confusing ruling here in the Alabama game.
“The result of the play is ROLL DAMN TIDE!”
ouch, what a YUUUUUUUUUGE penalty
Look at you, K-State!
“Hold my cousin.” [scores immediately]
-Oklahoma
There ain’t no rhyme nor reason as to why MSU fans ring they cowbells, they just rings ’em.
It’s not like the school offers a major in that subject, the way that UNC does.
“ANY student can major in cowbell, it’s not a sham just because 95% of the revenue sport athletes major in it!”
– The NCAA
Trying to attract a mate?
/Sorry not sorry
//Sort’ve sorry.
Vols look set to cover
What was the spread?
Roll Damn Tide -36.5
“That’s the same as the balance in my checking account!”
– Warren Sapp
[watches the game, hoping to pick up a few pointers]
– Chris Conte
Arizona State v. Utah!? In the East Coast daytime? What sorcery is this?
These players have seen each other before. Specifically, in stag films that ASU students have starred in and Utah students deny having ever watched.
also 14-nil to the good, VPI. Gobble gobble!!
Just flipping through some re-runs looking for a decent game and I had a great idea for a TV show. It’s a crime procedural set in the rural South.
“Law & Order: Attractive Cousins Unit”
Who wants to fund this?
Episode One: “If’n They’s Grass In The Field”
touched down, Cowbells
Greetings from downtown Minneapolis. Cloudy skies some rain in the area temperature about 65.
Oh fuck yes.
Even the numbskull plays are bigger in Texas.
In Beuchele’s defence, the Pokes’ DB was wide open.
Once he figures out the whole uniform thing, the sky is the limit for that kid.
He who derps last, derps best (TX).
Overtime = Bonus DERP
Fittingly, DOOPY PANTZ’ alma mater is involved
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQXzOE12xuM&ab_channel=EvanTeed
I am too shamed FOAR my December physical, but if’n I don’t go I won’t get mah anti-crazy pills refilled.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zMX2UwRwjk
Trump’s Murrika!
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/montana-gop-official-says-she-would-have-shot-journalist-gianforte-assaulted
SO MUCH DERP in Austin today.
No alcohol on Saturday afternoon makes me something something.