NFL News:
Trade deadline updates:
- October 30th:
- Duane Brown: from the Texans to the Seahawks
- Houston gets cornerback Jeremy Lane, a second-round pick in 2019 and a fifth-round pick in 2018.
- Russell Wilson reworked his contract to free up cap room.
- Jimmy Garappolo: from the Pats to the 49ers.
- For a 2018 second-round pick.
- Of note, and specifically about the type of compensation involved:
-
The #49ers originally included QB Brian Hoyer in the trade to the #Patriots but he was taken out for comp. pick reasons. Now released.
— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) October 31, 2017
-
Also, 49ers' 2018 2nd is likely to be near the top of the round. A 2019 3rd rd comp pick would be near the bottom. Diff. of almost 2 rounds https://t.co/p2Df9ALAio
— Nick Korte (@nickkorte) October 31, 2017
-
- Duane Brown: from the Texans to the Seahawks
- October 31st:
- Jay Ajayi: from the Dolphins to the Eagles
- Miami receives a fourth-round draft pick in exchange.
- The Eagles are expected to run a Czonka-Morris type of combination with Blount & Ajayi.
- Kelvin Benjamin: from the Panthers to the Bills
- Carolina receives the Bills’ 2018 3rd and 7th round picks.
- I guess Cam has enough weapons.
- Carolina receives the Bills’ 2018 3rd and 7th round picks.
- Jay Ajayi: from the Dolphins to the Eagles
- Didn’t end up on the market:
- Martavis Bryant: not going anywhere.
- Given he has a year & a half left on his rookie deal, he’s a steal at the price.
- Josh Gordon: ?
- The Browns tried to trade his rights at the deadline, but he has a meeting with the NFL on Wednesday to discuss reinstatement.
- I guess no one wanted to bite, given his chances for returning would be up in the air.
- The Browns tried to trade his rights at the deadline, but he has a meeting with the NFL on Wednesday to discuss reinstatement.
- Martavis Bryant: not going anywhere.
- Non-trade NFL News:
- Jadeveon Clowney’s Halloween costume of an orange jumpsuit sure had a lot to say.
- Clowney says it was a predetermined outfit, picked long before the current controversy about McNair’s remarks.
- The Texans and Clowney offered a response. They told the Houston Chronicle that there “was no hidden meaning behind his Halloween costume”.
- Kiko Alonso will not be suspended for his Thursday Night wallop on a sliding Joe Flacco. Ndamukong Suh likewise for his hand to the throat of Ryan Mallett.
- They are, however, evaluating a few plays for possible fines.
- Flacco is not expected to miss games, having cleared concussion protocol in elite fashion.
- Jadeveon Clowney’s Halloween costume of an orange jumpsuit sure had a lot to say.
Finally, Jerry Jones is stirring the Goodell pot once again by claiming Ezekiel Elliott is “paying the price” for the League’s mistakes during the Ray Rice fiasco.
- “Zeke is a victim of an overcorrection,” Jones said to local media.
- Because Elliott has been re-resuspended, he would start missing games effective this weekend.
- With the Cowboys playoff chances fading by the week, they need as many hand on deck as they can muster.
- They could try to change judges, arguing conflict of interest.
- The sitting judge in the case has a husband who is a partner in the NFL’s CBA/lockout law firm.
- This plays into the working theory that there is a strong chance Goodell’s contract doesn’t get renewed.
- Although Jerry only has 17 votes total on his “committee”; he needs 24 to ensure the hunt for a new lackey can begin.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- World Series: Game 6:
- Astros at Dodgers – 8:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
- World Series: Game 6:
- NCAA:
- Miami (Ohio) at Ohio – 8:00PM | ESPN2
- Bowling Green at Kent State – 8:00PM | ESPNU
- NHL:
- Knights at Rangers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- MLS:
- Columbus Crew SC vs. New York City FC (Leg 1) – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- NBA:
- Thunder at Bucks – 8:00PM | TSN2
- Pistons at Lakers – 10:30PM | TSN2
It was fun watching everyone play “Wheel of Fortune” in the comments last night. TRY PASSWORD TONIGHT!
_ H _ _ _ T _ _ _ | _ _ _ H _ _ _ | _ _ _ _
Can I get a S?
_ H _ _ S T _ _ _ | _ _ _ H _ _ _ | _ _ _ _
Can I get a C?
Balls is good at this
C H _ _ S T _ _ _ | _ _ C H _ _ _ | _ _ C _
Can I get a R?
N
Also, try and guess it before I have to fucking drive.
I’ll go. Another NFL before and after.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _
Gimme a T!
_ _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _
Any T’s?
Sheeit. Beaten to the punch. How about H’s instead?
I’m a Texans fan (we do exist!), which comes with its own fair share of baggage. But I am very thankful that I am not a Browns fan.
*500’s
George Allen Robinson
And I cheated, plus I need to finish this cover letter. And also pine about how Zodiac Motherfucker isn’t, in fact, dead. And look for more photos of Ms. Poussin.
winner winner chicken costume dinner.
Is it me or did Brian McCann get even slower?
It’s the extra beard weight.
He runs belly-first, like a true goddamn American.
:the password is penis:
The universal password.
Accountant by day, assassin by night.
Shiny.
She’s one your brother needs to connect with. She’s….interesting.
(translation…dat girl be cray cray)
He has enough crazy women in his life. Not me, though. So maybe I should call her.
I won’t recommend that.
My interactions with her have only ever been online, occasional and brief. Which was more than enough.
FWIW tho, normally she’s platinum blonde and much more scantily clad in her photo sets if that appeals to you.
It does.
Relatively speaking, this is tame…..
Man, what is about bolted on tits that they look good in front revealing outfits, but not bikinis
Well, four sizes too big for one’s body type is a bad start. Also, I don’t recommend telling her that.
I think she’s wasnt even remotely a femme fatal in the source material, but since the movie, she’s been more and more sexual
Someone described Destro and her in the comic and original series as the guy who goes along with whatever nonsense his girlfriend is into because she’s good at sex. However, Baroness cosplayers have always been on edging closer and closer this way since she already wears the leather jumpsuit. Same with Black Widow, although her costume has had the cleavage in it forever while Baroness’s didn’t until I don’t know when. The last ten years, maybe?
Exactly. Didn’t even have the voice of a 40 year old on the cartoon
Baroness? She always sounded like Natasha from Moose und Squirrel show, didn’t she?
I’m glad the Cubs didn’t trade for Justin Verlander because I don’t think I could handle his idiot overrated wife being put on camera between every other pitch.
Dude, it’s called a mute button
YOU CAN’T MUTE THE LUXURY BOX SHOTS
Eyelids?
Is that what the kids are calling upskirts now?
Especially with so much clothing on.
https://gfycat.com/CheerfulWearyDanishswedishfarmdog
I’m not seeing a problem.
That’s because you can’t see or hear her speaking.
You couldn’t pay me enough to watch sports unmuted.
Derek Allen Robinson
Order of e’s is wrong
Oh God Damn It
E is definitely the last letter of the first name though
And I have the clue slightly wrong, i apologize.
_ e _ _ _ e() _ _ _ e n () _ _ _ _ ns _ n
Yum
Nice Boba’s.
I’d touch her Fett.
How about L?
1 I
_ e _ _ e() _ _ _ e n () _ _ _ ins _ n
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IOuiHwgCXw&ab_channel=NickKawaler
I’ll take an ‘o’ (that’s what she said) my 12 dollar check is in the mail.
Dolphins reddit is incredibly entertaining this evening. I did not realize the 13 fans they have down there were so computer literate.
Dade County Jails has a pretty good outreach program.
I don’t know what they are freaking out about. Playing the Raiders is the tonic that can fix any slumping team.
*almost any
Yet they still pay money and spend time going to the fucking game. Fans are idiots.
Those bags are hilarious. It’s like they have to sit next to each other because it’s a two-part message.
That’s about the full extent of their literacy.
I bet they still have Mexican dishwashers.
https://twitter.com/jsidman/status/925410855709237249
How can you tell?
Woooo 620’s
500’s
Whatever.
Sorry folks, wandered to a bar,
No c’s , but there are e’s
_ e _ _ e() _ _ _ e n () _ _ _ _ ns _ n
Fucknuts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6V2oCX3Hn4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCrw1NCa8ho&ab_channel=AlexHarrison
Happy Halloween, fuckshits.
I love it when Joe Buck says “spoiled it” cause that is pretty much what I am saying anytime I hear him covering a sporting event.
Have the requests for a C and an E been addressed yet?
“C and an E? This is a party I can get behind” -J Manziel
No. Brocky must be typing one handed again.
If that’s code for talking up catwoman at the bar I’ll take it
Dude!!!!!! To heck with this game then. Go, wrangle that kitty.
Priorities ftw.
Lol, ain’t gonna play like that. She’s dating a mutual friend.
???
She’s not at all frightening to me.
/runs
Not that slim, but she’s willing to talk to me, so that’s nice
Alright, back to basics.
Anyone buy an E yet?
Can I have a C?
Nice costume.
I like the additional subtle dig that it’s definitely not Trump who is punching the Nazi, cause he would never do that.
He’d be happy to claim that they used him as a hand model for that costume, though.
That is brilliant.
Well, none of this surprises me:
Georgia, Alabama, Notre Dame, Clemson top 1st CFP rankings
I’m kinda pleased. ND shot right up those rankings by beating the shit out of my alma mater.
I think that means we’re good.
All universities that should be bombed into dust.
I was looking for a cousin fucker joke, but the altar boys messed that all up.
Eh … No, it would still work. Plus, South Bend is in rural Indiana near Kentucky.
It’s not really near Kentucky but that’s irrelevant because the whole state is a fucking pit.
It’s closer than I’d like, which is to say that being on the same side of the continental divide is too close.
Can I have an H?
No h.
I thought there was, had to triple check, but there wasn’t
For a second I thought that was Tom Brady but when she didn’t pop back up and start screaming for a roughing-the-passer penalty I knew it wasn’t.
Nope. Clean hit by Karen Carpenter on that play.
Someone puked?
Me a little later.
Can I have an N?
3 n’s
_ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ n () _ _ _ _ ns _ n
Big Money, No Whammies!!!!
J
No j’s
You suck.
Evening Folks. Anyone else have every light off in the living room?
I have every light in the apartment on and the blinds open. I need as much light as possible to keep myself awake. I’ll grab my blue anti-SAD light after dinner.
All my lights are on, but my motion light keeps going off, so I keep opening the door to turn it back on.
I refuse to meddle with it for no reason that I won’t know how to properly reactivate it.
No kids in this here condo so no worries.
Just the light from the tv and my laptop here.
No, because George Springer hit a home run when I had a ton of lights on, so I haven’t changed it… because what I do has so much influence on the outcome of the game.
Can I have an S?
1 s
This is still NFL before and after
Brocky
_ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ s _ _
Gif URL:
h
thumbs.gfycat.com/PleasedPlaintiveArgentineruddyduck-size_restricted.gif
It’s 65°F in Los Angeles. That’s fucking cold, man.
Evening commentists. Hope you are all well and fuck the Dodgers.
I’m well, but I’d prefer not to fuck the Dodgers.
Well, maybe Bellinger. He’s dreamy.
Joc Petersen’s parents named him that in the hopes that he’d get to nail the prom queen. Sadly, the best he could do was getting to second base with the student council treasurer.
Fuck the Dodgers indeed. Go ‘Stros!
Victoria Toensing? More like Victoria CLIENT-sings, amirite?
https://www.politico.com/story/2017/10/31/sam-clovis-senate-russia-investigation-244370
Now, if we’re talking music…
http://youtu.be/cP285coEEUs
The best Halloween movie, I will fight those who disagree. Just the right amount of scare and fun.
Horror movies are great on their own, but feel shoehorned when given Halloween gimmicks.
Why people call a nightmare before Christmas a Halloween movie, I’ll never understand.
The only good parts of hocus pocus are the talking cat and a reminder of why people once thought Sara Jessica Parker was hot
I see there’s a glitch in the Matrix this evening…
Why bother? Go directly to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
Great movie too.
But there’s no talking cat…
I’d volunteer to try to make that kitty sing.
Gratuitous Silky impression:
The only good talking cat:
So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much of an asshole am i for judging someone letting their seven year old daughter (I’m guessing here) wear the suicide squad Harley outfit?
A combination of obvious reasons:
1. It’s 40 fucking degrees outside, her teeth were chattering as she said trick or treat
2. There’s dramatically more age appropriate Harley costumes out there.
3. That movie came out last year, and was rated r, there has to be a cutoff point to exposing kids to that. I don’t care how “cool” parents are now, those ratings exist for a reason.
You are completely right for judging those parents.
/still rate you a 8/10 as an asshole, but that’s coming from a place of love. Kisses!
Since it’s Halloween, let’s make those Hershey Kisses!
If no skin is showing and the shirt isn’t tight, 7.
If she dressed exactly like Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, 1. If you didn’t call Social Services, 6.
So….6.5?
You’ll always be a perfect 10 to me.
This would probably be an instance where I’d have to inform them that by statute and the rules of professional responsibility, I am a mandatory reporter and am required to call DHS if they continue this course of action.
This would also apply if it was an elderly person. Being a lawyer sucks. I would be deathly afraid of shopping anymore if I didn’t walk to the store since, as noted in the child abuse reporting CLE I had to attend, 95% of calls lawyers end up having to make to the DHS hotline are for kids alone in cars or parents in stores doing or not doing something because the goddamn law is so vague.
THIS
Teams that put a fourth forward on the power play to play the point: what are they thinking?
The Ice Bombers use Laine, I support this.
The Browns have unlocked a level of derp so low, that derp may not be appropriate name for it, not even Derp: Condition Plaid. They screwed up so much that it not only affected their team but the other team their founder created.
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/report-bengals-agreed-to-trade-aj-mccarron-but-browns-fail-to-notify-nfl-on-time/
First off, why? Second off, the level is Derp Condition Browns.
Hue Jackson is the coach in Oakland that gave the Bengals a 1st and a 2nd for Carson Palmer. That why.
Also, I must learn how to photoshop so I can create that.
There hasn’t been a factory stepping up its production like this since WWII.
Not that I’m high on Jay Ajayi, but a 4th round pick? Surely a 3rd rounder was offered somewhere.
_ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ () _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
BANANA CAKE ALERT
/done in one!
“PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER! Did I win?”
-T. Green
“You sure did!”
-CTE Study Group
Not even close
Is it NFL before and after?
Shit. Not enough letters in the third word. But that would be a great one for next time so I’m keeping it.
Yep, just as I called it. Once the league figured out the Dolphins next opponent was the Raiders, suspensions were off the table.
If I had made some slight effort to keep up with the Simpsons, I’d be slightly more upset that fox apparently doesn’t run a bunch of Simpsons Halloween episodes tonight.
But i don’t, so I can’t.
They ran them on FXX in Canada? Maybe down there too?
Shit, I legitimately keep forgetting about that channel
So does News Corp.
At first I thought the Rangers dressed up as a competent team with an early goal, but I was mistaken.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyknBTm_YyM
Unrelated: apparently suicine was released early today.
Yeah, I’m 0/1. It has a floatier jump than the other dogs.
Fucker can jump all he wants. He ain’t getting away from me
Yeah, it’s just annoying when he jumps while the ball is midair. Like three times. It’s not often I get 12 balls to throw, I’m Instinct!
Basedbalk it is. How are we doing tonight, Imaginary Internet Friends?
I made a new friend today.
Awwwww….
That’s awesome. What is it, a falcon? Hawk?
Red Shouldered Hawk. New one around here, haven’t seen him before.
Neat.