Pre-NFL Draft DFO Draft – For Ole Times’ Sake

One of the very few rules we set up around here when DFO was created was that we would try to not copy or rehash posts that KSK made famous. For the most part, we’ve been pretty successful in forging our own path.

Heck, even former KSKers are copying our post ideas!

Thus, we’ve never really done the Drafts which used to be part of the KSK experience. Earlier this week, that all changed when Lemonjello came up with a BRILLIANT idea when I mentioned my future post-retirement career as a porn producer.

His idea:

BATTLE OF THE NETWORK PORN STARS

Awesome, right? Who doesn’t remember those epic shows pitting tv stars against tv stars for television network supremacy!

They would participate in various sporting events and the team with the most points at the end won Network glory.

Granted, we need to change things a bit since apparently only one company owns all the porn websites. Instead of networks, each team will do Battle for the pride of individual Commentists!

You bet your ass Team Balls is going to wipe the floor with the rest of you!

Here are the rules:

Each commentist will get their own team of five stars

There will be five competition events.

Each team shall consist of

  • One Male star
  • One Legend
  • One Ethnic star
  • One MILF, and
  • One Wild Card (cannot be male)

The events will be

  • 50 M kayak (one person event)
  • 2 Feet Team Shooting (Hit the target with…you know. One person aims, one person pumps/primes, and the third “fires”. Target is two feet away from shooter.)
  • Free Throw Contest (Done Thai-Ping-Pong-Show-Style. One person event)
  • 400 M relay (4 person event)
  • “Tug” of War (All team members compete)

You can pick one star at a time and must identify which events they will participate in and why they will kick ass in those events. You must wait until 10 people make their picks to pick again.

If you include a SFW pic or gif of your pick, you can pick again after only 5 people have picked.

Choose wisely and may the best team win!

(54/69)

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
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Unsurprisedballsofsteelandfuryyeah rightBrettFavresColonoscopyBrick Meathook Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
  • One Male star: Mick Blue
  • One Legend: Herschel Savage
  • One Ethnic star: Dana Vespoli
  • One MILF: Cory Chase
  • One Wild Card: Cytherea

——

  • 50 M kayak (one person event): CC
  • 2 Feet Team Shooting (Hit the target with…you know. One person aims, one person pumps/primes, and the third “fires”. Target is two feet away from shooter.): aim (DV); pump (CC); shooter (HS)
  • Free Throw Contest (Done Thai-Ping-Pong-Show-Style. One person event): Cytherea, the goddess of gush
  • 400 M relay (4 person event): MB, DV, CC, Cy
  • “Tug” of War (All team members compete)
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cory Chase is tremendous value here.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’d kill for her six pack.

Please let me kill for it.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

BRICK’S SUPER-ALL-STAR TEAM

Legend: FAT RON JEREMY
Ethnic: BIG DICK BLAQUE
Wild Card: THE ASS FUCK TWINS

Male Star: KARL HUNGUS
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MILF: CANDY BARR, THE FIRST PORN STAR
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I still need an “ethnic” pick (I object to the term) and a wild card. Since I’m not sure there will be another five picks before I take off on this flight, I shall choose, in a tremendous display of value, Mia Khalifa and Bailey Jay, respectively.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can I take Shannon Tweed as my legend pick or does softcore not count? Because she’s seen some shit.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Wild Card: THE ASS FUCK TWINS

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Sharkbait

Sedin-esque!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s pretty naughty.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Aw, nuts. I’m not going to be able to draft until tonight. You fuckers.

yeah right

Before I just ruined it with #70: this post had 69 comments.

Nice.

Sharkbait

5th and final pick
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Adriana Chechik

Wild card slot.

scotchnaut

One more I think-I’m going with Wee Riley Reid.* The smart money is on her to win the limbo contest at the after-party, btw.

*Thus denying Seamus any Team Synergy Bonus Points

theeWeeBabySeamus

Alright, screw it….no pun intended.
You jerks ain’t getting Caprice away from me…
My legend….
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scotchnaut

My dude will be Buck Adams. Damn right he’s in the Tug of War, Kayak and Free Throw shooting.

scotchnaut

Christy Canyon-you’re my Legend. She’s in everything but kayaking.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Harley Dean shall be my ethnic pick.
Yeesh….
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And I already know my legend as well, but I’ll give you losers a bit of time to take her off the board first.

Horatio Cornblower

Legend Pick: Savannah Samson, (that’s not her real name!)

http://www4.pictures.stylebistro.com/gi/Savanna+Samson+Decorative+Rings+Cocktail+Ring+v1U4P_AuGQCl.jpg

Team Shooting and Relay

scotchnaut

Hitomi Tanaka is my ethnic. Are you guys asleep or something? (she won’t be in any event that involves running)

Sharkbait

4th round

Jenna Jameson
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Legend pick.

She’s in the relay with everyone else

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2. Kobe Tai – Legend

theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU SONOFABITCH!!!!

errrr….I mean nice pick.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

For my male star, I’ll take Evan Stone since we know he can do everything

Sharkbait

3rd round.
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Mandingo. Male star.

Relay and team shooting

SonOfSpam

2nd round, that Sarah Palin lookin MILF. Whatever her name is. Put her on my relay team.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tina Fey is now off the board.

Horatio Cornblower

Lisa Ann. C’mon man, even I know that.
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Horatio Cornblower

Is Stoya ethnic? She is to me!
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Horatio Cornblower

Oh, and she’s part of the team shooting and she’ll be in the kayak as well.

theeWeeBabySeamus

For my MILF I’ll take Monique Alexander.
Suck it, you amateurs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And she’s in my kayak.

So to speak.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, you guys are cheating now.
So I will too.
Manuel Ferrara as my male.
Tug of war, 2 feet shooting, and 400 meter relay.
(he looks fast)
((well in some ways))
😀

yeah right

Guess I’ll just take Anjelica Ebbi, drop the mike and walk off stage.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice pick.

I mean who is that?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

TIL that John Holmes died in 1988

BrettFavresColonoscopy

For my first pick, I’ll take Gianna Michaels, and since I’m at work I will be posting zero pics/gifs. Gianna will be my MILF rep and likely nail the free throw shooting since she’s so good with balls.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

If Fat Ron Jeremy is my Legend

Then my Male Porn Star is:

BIG DICK BLAQUE ! ! !

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Sharkbait

Team Sharkbait’s second selection:
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Wifey. Milf Category.

She’ll compete in the kayak, and as the third member in the team shooting event.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yarrr. She’s swallowed more semen than the Pacific Ocean.

Horatio Cornblower

This is, believe it or not, not my strong suit, but I’ll do some searches, get on a few (more) FBI watch lists, and see what I an do.

My first pick is Lexington Steele. And he’ll be competing in anything* he wants to. Don’t like it? You tell him.
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*Team shooting, Ping-Pong, and relay

litre_cola

Nina Hartley has been MILFY for eva! She can do the tug o war by just putting the knot in her mouth and sucking.

yeah right

I’ll take the classic first: Marilyn Chambers. She remained hot until, she wasn’t.

SonOfSpam

Ok, for the free throw contest, I’m picking pre-legal Traci Lords. That’s a Legend.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a felony is what that is.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Point of clarification if I may?
Do the picks have to still be alive?

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

This draft is a bit complicated for me. But I will say someone needs to pick T.T. Boy as their male. The guy was a workhorse. Seriously, he was in everything. No idea what he looks like though.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know if I’m going to have time to get all my picks in (I’ll be driving up to fucking Lodi) but since the target shooting requires someone who can drop serious loads at distance, I’m taking…

[sexy ring girl walks up to the podium]

1. Nick Manning

SonOfSpam

Oh Lord. Stuck in Lodi again?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Sharkbait

Team Sharkbait’s first pick:
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Asa Akira. She’ll be competing in the Team Shoot and the Free Throw contest.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Am I supposed to pick a male star first? Meh, tough.
Veronica Rodriguez. If this pick suprises anyone, you haven’t been paying attention….
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Sharkbait

I picked a great day to work from home.