Your “What else is on?” Monday Night Football Preview and Open Thread

Seriously, when I looked at yesterday’s schedule, there was not one game that I was interested in watching. Steelers-Clots wasn’t even available in LA. We were instead given the merde-pourri of Vikings-Redacteds, Cowboys-Falcons, RAMMIT-Texans, and Shitty Clippers-Jaguras.  And then on Sunday night, we were given Pats-Broncos?  Yeah Right.  Now that I think about it, I think he was the only one happy yesterday.

So, to Roger Goodell I say:

My favorite NASCAR driver, Kyle Busch, was already safely in the final four for Homestead, so the Phoenix race held no special appeal and it ended up being a blissful day without sports.  It’s a beautiful world out there, folks.

And now we have this rancid cream cheese frosting as the topper of the shitcake that was NFL Week 10:  Dolphins at Panthers.

If I wanted to see a cat beaten to submission by a bunch of other cats, I’d go to Woodrocket.com.  As it is, we are going to have Cutler struggling to stay upright while the Panthers’ defence dials up blitz after blitz. The Miami D has been quite decent, which means that this may be a low-scoring game in which the outcome is never in doubt.  Ugh.

Let’s see, what else is on?

Is Lucifer any good?

What about Supergirl?

Nah, I think we’re better off sticking to the tried and true Monday Night RAW:

If you are actually going to subject yourself to this torture of an NFL game, at least have a drink and raise it to Beerguyrob’s ass.  Not literally.

Also, I’m willing to bet you that this gif that Moose posted on Saturday night captivates your attention more than this game will:

Ok, I’ve tried my best to dissuade you from watching.  Have at it you addicts!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
Subscribe
Notify of
403 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Wakezilla

Hey guys. Sorry that you had to watch the Dolphins tonight.

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wow

Brocky

Hey guys. how ya doing? I’m doing great… why you ask?

comment image

Because after nearly a year and a half of trying, I finally completed my pokemon go Pokedex. Call me nerdy, I just say you’re jealous you don’t have one of these:

comment image

For Additional contex:

256 available pokemon-5 region exclusives – 5 unreleased ones = 246

Wakezilla

This might as well be in Chinese to me. Congrats though!

comment image

Brocky

I just had a vision of rex ryan playing pokemon go

Senor Weaselo

And you got an Unown too? Fucker.
/Congrats
//Still envious
///But I have a Farfetch’d motherfucker!

Brocky

dude…. what you do in thailand is your own buisness

yeah but after months of having no luck finding an unown, One spawned less than 10 minutes from my house.

Senor Weaselo

One of the benefits of the China trip was a Farfetch’d spawning at baggage claim in Taiwan during my layover. It was the only one I caught. I later felt obligated to put it in a gym and name it Conway. (After Charlie, not the other one.)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Balls, I regret to inform you that I did not do anything stupid today. Well, tonight. Depending on who you ask, this afternoon was mildly, with Atomic Wings and all, but I was okay. Not great, but okay.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

blaxabbath

Honestly, is there a way in which the feds might seize all of the Trump org’s assets by the end of this?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hope springs eternal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

“After I had won, everybody was calling me from all over the world. I never knew we had so many countries.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Too many friends and too rich?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

Why does he have his hand cupped in front of his mouth if he’s wearing a helmet?

This is so fake.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Also, why is he saying “Fire!” when everyone is already clearly firing?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was thinking we could apply the irony to our currant situation….. but we can go with the pedantic…..

Viva La Tabula Raza

If by “current situation” you mean the last 70 years of our history, then you are absolutely correct.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Last 70?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess I was going back to Eisenhower interfering with the elections in Central America in the 50s. But I guess you could go back to our interference in the Caribbean in the early 20th century. Or the Spanish American War. Or the coup in Hawaii in 1893. Or the Mexican War in 1840s. Or fuck it, the Peloponnesian Wars.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

More like since projectiles have been used against other humans.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Or earlier.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The irony arrived when when survival turned to tribalism.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Clearly there are others in the foreground out of the illustration that are not fucking firing for peace.

Senor Weaselo

War is peace.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s a great clip.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s one of the funniest movies ever made, if not the funniest. In my opinion.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed it is up there. I also like it because of a lot of the types of people who hate it.

Senor Weaselo

It’s Senor Koquonfaes!
comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hopefully not too over the top for the moderator people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pretty sure that is what is actually under the hair.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Context counts for a lot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

After all; Dick Jokes.

Mr. Ayo

Definitely over the line. No doubt the LIBTARD moderators here will allow it to stand though.

Mr. Ayo

A certain somebody hasn’t mastered coloUring within the lines.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One falls on learned habits when in tense situations that do not seem logical on the surface unless one thinks a bit deeper.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope Brad Paisley goes all Bluto on Peyton soon.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d like to see the fight where they both die at the exact moment when each of them thinks they have the upper hand.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Silk is my favorite thing that comes out of an animal butt

theeWeeBabySeamus

I got nuthin’…
You’ve rendered me speakless with that one.

Viva La Tabula Raza

We like buffalo poop.
—Cold Plains Indians

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I see you’ve never tried ….. crocodile turds.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You see, because of the expression “crocodile tears”……

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Imma invent a new play called THE BUBBLE BOMG

Doktor Zymm

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Serves you right, creepy hand

Doktor Zymm

Cats bat things out of the air

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image
comment image
comment image

litre_cola

Sgt Rock was excellent

Horatio Cornblower

I loved it. My mother hated it.

Doktor Zymm

This is why I don’t play fantasy for $$$. That’s 35+ Cam points on my bench.

Also, HEY STUPID BURGER KING YOU CAN’T DESTROY A FLAT TOP GRIDDLE WITH FIRE FIRE IS ITS JOB

Doktor Zymm

Now…if I can only remember where I put the screws that mount the power supply in the case I’ll be well on my way to completing my A/V setup

Horatio Cornblower

This game’s gotten a lot better since I started pouring Buffalo Trace down my throat.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Start chewin’, kid.

Mr. Ayo

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Man, I need to get a cat.

Senor Weaselo

Just a note, you’re gonna have to teach it the sniper rifle stuff yourself.

theeWeeBabySeamus

How in all things holy is there still 12 minutes left in this game?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Biggest glory hole I’VE ever seen

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice! It’s in a bar that has predominately …… never mind….

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t believe I want to see what might emerge from there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nothing; it is about middle class life in the US.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn dude.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Next shot:comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Sometimes I HATE alien pussy.”

-Cptn. Kirk

Doktor Zymm

Okay, ordered new fuses. That’s probably not the actual problem, and I’ll probably figure out what it is and fix it before the new fuses arrive, but hey, no reason not to have extra fuses, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m confused Dok. You have electrical issues in the old place or the new place?

WHERE ARE YOU????????????????????

Doktor Zymm

New place, hooking up stereo. And yeah, I just fixed it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….well at least you blew it out for a good reason.
Crank it up and RIP OFF THE KNOB !!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkbgtVFlyCQ

Senor Weaselo

Does it go to 11? That’s one more.

theeWeeBabySeamus

^ This guy gets it.
comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thank goodness for CTE so Julius Peppers doesn’t have to remember that he played for Green Bay or Chicago

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

‘Twas a good day.

Wakezilla

Miami Dolphins should only be allowed to play on Thursday night football

Doktor Zymm

McWrathly?

Spur

Am done. Night Folks.

Goodnight you princes and princesses of the Internet , you kings and queens of dick jokes

Doktor Zymm

You know, starting Cam over Dak this week would have been a really good idea. My only excuse is that I didn’t really think about my lineup beyond making sure it was legal

Mr. Ayo

Smart. It would be bad timing to roll out a 14 year old lineup.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wellll, let’s not rule anything out….
comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

As long as the NFL insists on televising Dolphins nationally, I will continue to post this photo from that horrifying movie about the Japanese slaughtering dolphins.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Kid rolls a real tight J.

JustStopDude

What are the chances Gruden screws up and make a Weinstein rape joke before the end of this broadcast?

Mr. Ayo

Less than the chances that Gruden knows Weinstein

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Johnny Come Lately…”
–Al Michaels