Your “Where Have You Gone, Megatron?” Thanksgiving Day NFL Football Open Thread

Hey there, you four day weekend-having mother-suckers! Have I ever told you the story of how I stumbled across the bliss that is Thursday afternoon football? Yes? Well, sit back, relax with your warm glass of mulled cider (“you’re so sophisticated!”) and I’ll tell you again. Back when I was a mere Koolaidnaut I was sick as a dog one day and had to miss school. I usually just planted myself on the sofa and napped and watched the old boob tube even though it was nothing but game shows and soap operas. This time however I was astounded to find the Detroit Lions being blown out by whomever and for whatever reason, I fell in like. Every year from then on I would feign the sick on American Thanksgiving and watch football all the day long. My mother never caught on, probably because she didn’t really care and… Hmmm. That took a wee turn didn’t it? Why don’t we mosey on over, TO THE GAME!

VIKINGS/LIONS: Shall we get the best game of the day out of the way early? Let’s. What with one man team Aaron Rodgers lost, the NFC North comes down to these two and Detroit needs this one badly-they can’t risk picking up the L and falling to 6-5. Recently released and then gobbled back up again Dwight Freeney won’t be playing today for the Lions but they should get de Ansah back. On the O side of things rb Abdullah has scored in three straight games and if you picked him up to throw into your flex spot, huzzah! You got that one right. Too bad your decision-making skills weren’t in play regarding your latest ex. The Vikes have gotten everything any team would want out of their backup qb-a dude that will not lose games for the team and have long stretches of competency.

As you may know, there’s a shit-ton of sportsifying/drinking and eating going on today. Just try not to stab your mother-in-law through the heart with the carving knife-go for the neck instead. If you get the right spot she’ll end up painting the walls before she stops being a pain in your  ‘extraordinarily-patient-right-up-to-now’ ass.

No matter what you’re doing, do stop by and say hello and let us know what you’re up to. If you’ve been lurking for a bit, perhaps throwing an account together and popping in is a good reason to escape the family. (“Can’t visit right now Ma, I’m talking to some freakballs on the ‘puter!”)

Now get out there and do some damage!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
341 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Doktor Zymm

Hey lookit Teddy standing up like a person with two intact knees!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah Right likes this +1

herodotus450

Franklin Delano wasn’t paying attention…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Dick E. Phuck

? More than a Thielin?

theeWeeBabySeamus

? Thielen Satisfied ?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mah Chain!!!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wait, was that the Pit of Misery?

King Hippo

and the Lions laid down like a lamb ,, smh

Dick E. Phuck

They’re just going through their awkward phase. They’ll grow out of it eventually.

King Hippo

#BLEERGHcotillion

Dick E. Phuck

Why does every Lithuanian name sound like the name of a Roman centurion?

herodotus450

You talkin bout Gaius?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

He has a wife, you know.

King Hippo

am I just in a “happy to have bonus FOOTBAW” coma, or is Troy surprisingly competent/insightful today?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I want to punch everyone in that Lexus commercial. Including the kid and the dog.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So it looks like there’s a trend towards having 10 or 15 second half-screen commercials every third or fourth play?

Romonobyl

The NFL needs every dime they can squeeze out.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a new FCC regulation

Senor Weaselo

“The new regulation is there are no regulations, just give corporations money for shittier service.” -The FCC

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey Minny RG, you aren’t the one who was supposed to jump early.
Just trynna help.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thielen no can fall right direction?

Game Time Decision

Liouns, 62 games without a 100 yard rusher…hahahaha

...

Man, I haven’t seen an aversion to triple digits this bad since those children screamed after seeing Jason Pierre-Paul’s hand.

Doktor Zymm

I thought having your mind boggled was an occupational hazard of football PLAYERS, not football announcers

King Hippo

picked up Keenum in DFO ball, he’s rotting on the bench though. Hippo stupid.

litre_cola

Heeheehee.

Romonobyl

Remember when the hashtag was originally known as the pound sign? They really should have put that into consideration before they started the #metoo campaign.

King Hippo

I laughed out loud. Fortunately, I’m at home so I don’t think I will get a visit from HR

Doktor Zymm

Huh, I can probably get rid of all these burned VCDs of anime from college. The chances I’ll ever watch them are even lower than the chance this is a competetive game at the half

blaxabbath

Well I’m off to shower (turkey is about done then i gotta take it to the wife’s work potluck).

Just a reminder, for those of you who did not scroll down the homepage, there is another Thanksgiving post just before this one for your halftime reading pleasure.

Dick E. Phuck

Thanksgiving safari with the Minnesota Vikings.

King Hippo

Come 3p, at least I can stream Everton/Atalanta Lesser Footy NIT action, and have something else to bitch about.

King Hippo

of course he is, I benched him for Alfred Morris this week

King Hippo

oh goddamnit you noe fuck Lions this Thanksgiving.

/hope my post-chili shit arrives during this fixture

...

This is why I appreciate my clockwork bowels that empty each morning.

Doktor Zymm

Bud Light, a great argument for Prohibition

King Hippo

OK, at least I feel good about cutting Kai pond kicker from my money league team

Dick E. Phuck

-Adolf Hitler

King Hippo

Gobble gobble, gonna lose mah thumbs

Doktor Zymm

Wow, I forgot how stabby holiday commercials make me

King Hippo

I didn’t really forget but was sure as shit reminded and will be so many times over today.

FUCK CHRISTMAS (no ofence Jeebus)

litre_cola

I just took a look and I have a lot of vikings and play against a lot of vikings in ff. Too many goddamn leagues.
Left work at 10 am, went to sports bar alone and having a quiet Guinness. Happy Thanksgiving indeed.

Romonobyl

comment image

King Hippo

still one of the 5 best television moments of my lifetime

Doktor Zymm

Caseworker?

herodotus450

Caseathon?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Case-ablanca. You’re shocked, shocked I say. Right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Case Sensitive

Viva La Tabula Raza

BriefCase Full of Blues

Beerguyrob

He was named KC after the “Sunshine Band” leader, and since augmented the spelling to correspond with how his lispy brother pronounced it as a child.

— I might be bored at school

King Hippo

Degenerate check in!!!

Lions +3 (line since moved to 2.5, feel SMRT!)
Pokes even (line now +1.5, feel dum)

blaxabbath

That was bad. Colts bad.

Doktor Zymm

Damn, I wish I had some biscuits. I wonder if the diner across the street is open? I bet they have some version of biscuits and gravy.

Romonobyl

Just sneak into a cheap motel and hit the “free hot breakfast” gravy machine.

Dick E. Phuck

Matt Stafford is setting all kinds of records. For example, he broke his previous single season record for fastest potato salad bowl eaten.

...

I imagine Stafford eating a jello shot the size of a turkey.

blaxabbath

Detroit got rid of their helmet logos?

Viva La Tabula Raza

In honor of their old stadium, today they are the Silverdomes.

blaxabbath

They should shoot Erin through a reverse peephole lense for those of us who are most familiar with her through that view.

...

That’ll cost $55 million, you degenerate.

King Hippo

#meto

Dick E. Phuck

Happy Thanksgiving. Hope these games don’t suck.

blaxabbath

What’s with Zimmer’s clear glasses? Those Microsoft Surface Pro Specs?

blaxabbath

Good to see everyone standing. ONLY TURKEYS KNEEL!

Doktor Zymm

I realized I have a bottle of Wild Turkey, so I can have a traditional Thanksgiving feast after all! Just can’t do it at 9:30 am though, football or no. Imma wait till the traditional Thanksgiving hour, whenver that is.

Game Time Decision

so, like, 9:31?

Doktor Zymm

I’m thinking like noonish? Seriously wincing at the idea of morning booze right now.

Game Time Decision

*cough* mimosa *cough*

Doktor Zymm

I lack all the ingredients for that. Though BevMo is open…..nah. Not putting on pants today if I can help it

Game Time Decision

the age old dilemma of drinking vs putting on pants
tho one usually leads to the other

Beastmode Ate My Baby

What are you, an alcoholic? At least wait until the kick-off!

theeWeeBabySeamus

While I know you’re not talking to me, the answer is…. Yes. And….no.

Game Time Decision

I’z at work, boooo, will try to stream the games

I work for a Canadian company that does work with a bunch of US companies, so even tho I’m working today, I can actually get shit done and not be in meetings all day, as most of my clients are off today
/glass half full outlook
//the glass is always full, just not what you think it’s full of
/// science, bitch. Not that he actually said it.

Game Time Decision

yep, live about an hour east of Toronto, but my office looks out over Billy Bishop airport, right down town ( toronto)

If memory serves me correctly, you’re in Alberta somwhere, right
/not a stalker

Game Time Decision

done the drive between those two cities a few times. Big bag’o’nothing up there
But do love all the lake names on the way
How is Elliot lake this time of year?

Game Time Decision

hahahaha, there are, like, 3 places up there with a population over 1,000. So pretty good chance of guessing right, with the assumption that you live intown

King Hippo

This sight turned into Canadia Grindr so gradually I barely even noticed ,, smh

Game Time Decision

There’s some guy with the same name as me, that’s on Hornet( it’s like Grinder). But the guy has the email address wrong, so i get all of his email notifications on the account. Not sure if it was intentional or not. How do you not know your own email address?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dear work,
Yep, I’m sick again this year.

Signed,
Scotchy’s Mother

theeWeeBabySeamus

My pre-cook/pre-game ritual today? Bob’s Burgers Thanksgiving episodes marathon (thanks TBS!!!!).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeD44vqvM60

...

Is this where I can say I hate the term “Friendsgiving” because it makes me cringe.

blaxabbath

Imagine if McVey had a chance to work with CASE KEENUM!

laserguru

Greetings all! I actually had the foresight to plan my cooking around this game. I should be able to watch the whole game before needing to report for kitchen duty.
Happy Thanksgiving.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Happy Thanksgiving errybody!

/is with family, so is merely drink in spirit thus far

1 2 3