Hey there, you four day weekend-having mother-suckers! Have I ever told you the story of how I stumbled across the bliss that is Thursday afternoon football? Yes? Well, sit back, relax with your warm glass of mulled cider (“you’re so sophisticated!”) and I’ll tell you again. Back when I was a mere Koolaidnaut I was sick as a dog one day and had to miss school. I usually just planted myself on the sofa and napped and watched the old boob tube even though it was nothing but game shows and soap operas. This time however I was astounded to find the Detroit Lions being blown out by whomever and for whatever reason, I fell in like. Every year from then on I would feign the sick on American Thanksgiving and watch football all the day long. My mother never caught on, probably because she didn’t really care and… Hmmm. That took a wee turn didn’t it? Why don’t we mosey on over, TO THE GAME!
VIKINGS/LIONS: Shall we get the best game of the day out of the way early? Let’s. What with one man team Aaron Rodgers lost, the NFC North comes down to these two and Detroit needs this one badly-they can’t risk picking up the L and falling to 6-5. Recently released and then gobbled back up again Dwight Freeney won’t be playing today for the Lions but they should get de Ansah back. On the O side of things rb Abdullah has scored in three straight games and if you picked him up to throw into your flex spot, huzzah! You got that one right. Too bad your decision-making skills weren’t in play regarding your latest ex. The Vikes have gotten everything any team would want out of their backup qb-a dude that will not lose games for the team and have long stretches of competency.
As you may know, there’s a shit-ton of sportsifying/drinking and eating going on today. Just try not to stab your mother-in-law through the heart with the carving knife-go for the neck instead. If you get the right spot she’ll end up painting the walls before she stops being a pain in your ‘extraordinarily-patient-right-up-to-now’ ass.
No matter what you’re doing, do stop by and say hello and let us know what you’re up to. If you’ve been lurking for a bit, perhaps throwing an account together and popping in is a good reason to escape the family. (“Can’t visit right now Ma, I’m talking to some freakballs on the ‘puter!”)
Now get out there and do some damage!
Hey lookit Teddy standing up like a person with two intact knees!
Yeah Right likes this +1
Franklin Delano wasn’t paying attention…
[makes a Suh joke]
[is banned for being a racist]
[was actually pointing out that he’s a dirty player]
Keenum is really Thielin it.
? More than a Thielin?
? Thielen Satisfied ?
Mah Chain!!!!!!!
Wait, was that the Pit of Misery?
and the Lions laid down like a lamb ,, smh
Off-putting penalties?
They’re just going through their awkward phase. They’ll grow out of it eventually.
#BLEERGHcotillion
Why does every Lithuanian name sound like the name of a Roman centurion?
You talkin bout Gaius?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
He has a wife, you know.
am I just in a “happy to have bonus FOOTBAW” coma, or is Troy surprisingly competent/insightful today?
Jones Jr. finally paying some dividends for one of my money teams.
I want to punch everyone in that Lexus commercial. Including the kid and the dog.
So it looks like there’s a trend towards having 10 or 15 second half-screen commercials every third or fourth play?
The NFL needs every dime they can squeeze out.
“You didn’t ask for more ads. Here they are!”
It’s a new FCC regulation
“The new regulation is there are no regulations, just give corporations money for shittier service.” -The FCC
Hey Minny RG, you aren’t the one who was supposed to jump early.
Just trynna help.
Oof-Side!
Thielen no can fall right direction?
Liouns, 62 games without a 100 yard rusher…hahahaha
Man, I haven’t seen an aversion to triple digits this bad since those children screamed after seeing Jason Pierre-Paul’s hand.
I thought having your mind boggled was an occupational hazard of football PLAYERS, not football announcers
picked up Keenum in DFO ball, he’s rotting on the bench though. Hippo stupid.
Heeheehee.
Remember when the hashtag was originally known as the pound sign? They really should have put that into consideration before they started the #metoo campaign.
I laughed out loud. Fortunately, I’m at home so I don’t think I will get a visit from HR
Huh, I can probably get rid of all these burned VCDs of anime from college. The chances I’ll ever watch them are even lower than the chance this is a competetive game at the half
Well I’m off to shower (turkey is about done then i gotta take it to the wife’s work potluck).
Just a reminder, for those of you who did not scroll down the homepage, there is another Thanksgiving post just before this one for your halftime reading pleasure.
Thanksgiving safari with the Minnesota Vikings.
Come 3p, at least I can stream Everton/Atalanta Lesser Footy NIT action, and have something else to bitch about.
McKinnon is extra scooty today!
of course he is, I benched him for Alfred Morris this week
oh goddamnit you noe fuck Lions this Thanksgiving.
/hope my post-chili shit arrives during this fixture
This is why I appreciate my clockwork bowels that empty each morning.
Bud Light, a great argument for Prohibition
OK, at least I feel good about cutting Kai pond kicker from my money league team
That was a great play call to Rudolf.
-Adolf Hitler
-Santa, patting himself on the back
Gobble gobble, gonna lose mah thumbs
Wow, I forgot how stabby holiday commercials make me
I didn’t really forget but was sure as shit reminded and will be so many times over today.
FUCK CHRISTMAS (no ofence Jeebus)
I just took a look and I have a lot of vikings and play against a lot of vikings in ff. Too many goddamn leagues.
Left work at 10 am, went to sports bar alone and having a quiet Guinness. Happy Thanksgiving indeed.
still one of the 5 best television moments of my lifetime
Is Keenum’s full first name Casement? Maybe Caseload?
Caseworker?
Caseathon?
Case-ablanca. You’re shocked, shocked I say. Right?
Maybe Case-serasera? Whatever.
Case Sensitive
BriefCase Full of Blues
He was named KC after the “Sunshine Band” leader, and since augmented the spelling to correspond with how his lispy brother pronounced it as a child.
— I might be bored at school
Degenerate check in!!!
Lions +3 (line since moved to 2.5, feel SMRT!)
Pokes even (line now +1.5, feel dum)
That was bad. Colts bad.
Damn, I wish I had some biscuits. I wonder if the diner across the street is open? I bet they have some version of biscuits and gravy.
Just sneak into a cheap motel and hit the “free hot breakfast” gravy machine.
Matt Stafford is setting all kinds of records. For example, he broke his previous single season record for fastest potato salad bowl eaten.
I imagine Stafford eating a jello shot the size of a turkey.
Detroit got rid of their helmet logos?
In honor of their old stadium, today they are the Silverdomes.
They should shoot Erin through a reverse peephole lense for those of us who are most familiar with her through that view.
That’ll cost $55 million, you degenerate.
#meto
Happy Thanksgiving. Hope these games don’t suck.
What’s with Zimmer’s clear glasses? Those Microsoft Surface Pro Specs?
Good to see everyone standing. ONLY TURKEYS KNEEL!
I realized I have a bottle of Wild Turkey, so I can have a traditional Thanksgiving feast after all! Just can’t do it at 9:30 am though, football or no. Imma wait till the traditional Thanksgiving hour, whenver that is.
so, like, 9:31?
I’m thinking like noonish? Seriously wincing at the idea of morning booze right now.
*cough* mimosa *cough*
I lack all the ingredients for that. Though BevMo is open…..nah. Not putting on pants today if I can help it
the age old dilemma of drinking vs putting on pants
tho one usually leads to the other
What are you, an alcoholic? At least wait until the kick-off!
While I know you’re not talking to me, the answer is…. Yes. And….no.
I’z at work, boooo, will try to stream the games
I work for a Canadian company that does work with a bunch of US companies, so even tho I’m working today, I can actually get shit done and not be in meetings all day, as most of my clients are off today
/glass half full outlook
//the glass is always full, just not what you think it’s full of
/// science, bitch. Not that he actually said it.
Are you in southern Ontario?
/don’t have to answer if I’m prying
yep, live about an hour east of Toronto, but my office looks out over Billy Bishop airport, right down town ( toronto)
If memory serves me correctly, you’re in Alberta somwhere, right
/not a stalker
Nah, northern Ontario between Sudbury and Sault Ste. Marie.
done the drive between those two cities a few times. Big bag’o’nothing up there
But do love all the lake names on the way
How is Elliot lake this time of year?
Ummm… that’s where I am.
/you’re definitely a stalker
hahahaha, there are, like, 3 places up there with a population over 1,000. So pretty good chance of guessing right, with the assumption that you live intown
This sight turned into Canadia Grindr so gradually I barely even noticed ,, smh
There’s some guy with the same name as me, that’s on Hornet( it’s like Grinder). But the guy has the email address wrong, so i get all of his email notifications on the account. Not sure if it was intentional or not. How do you not know your own email address?
Had to go into work for a little bit but now things are all good. Have to stay away from the alcohol in case something comes up though.
Dear work,
Yep, I’m sick again this year.
Signed,
Scotchy’s Mother
My pre-cook/pre-game ritual today? Bob’s Burgers Thanksgiving episodes marathon (thanks TBS!!!!).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeD44vqvM60
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKZbWaJI8Eg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BkdCC7_JZM
Is this where I can say I hate the term “Friendsgiving” because it makes me cringe.
Imagine if McVey had a chance to work with CASE KEENUM!
Greetings all! I actually had the foresight to plan my cooking around this game. I should be able to watch the whole game before needing to report for kitchen duty.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving errybody!
/is with family, so is merely drink in spirit thus far