So I guess many of us did some cooking yesterday. Or at least reaped the benefits of someone else doing it.
Me myself? I cooked. And I know some of the rest of you did as well based upon our Thanksgiving Eve open thread discussions.
I enjoy cooking. Very much. I especially enjoy cooking when the weather turns cold. Doing the cooking on Thanksgiving has always just been kind of a bonus. Honestly, I don’t know why that is, but I just enjoy it even more on Thanksgiving. Though this year I did cut back somewhat. Both in the amount of food (only a 15+ lb bird this year) and the number of freeloading (and in some cases also racist) family members permitted to attend.
No shit, I had to tell some of them to stay the hell home this year.
Why did I do this? Several reasons, actually. But it all boils down to the fact that they suck and neither they, nor their kids, are allowed here all at the same time anymore. And the problem there is that if you make some stay home, you have to make them all stay home. Because they’re all petty passive-aggressive shit bags who all want to feel like they’re more special/loved than the rest. I am not exaggerating.
I’ve had it with the family politics crap. It was fine when they were kids. That’s what kids do. Now they’re adults, it’s time to act like it. But they never will.
And I really do hate it for their kids because it’s not the kids’ faults that they’re growing up to be the exact same way. Because they’re not being taught any better. But all of them in my house at the same time, tearing shit up etc., unchecked? Nope. That’s over.
Then calling me a day or two before Thanksgiving asking me if you can bring your friends AND in some cases THEIR family members? Ummmm….over.
Come in my house and you and your kids all go apeshit and fuck shit up? Then when I point it out to you, you try to make me out to be the bad guy? Yep, over.
You want to call me when you need something (usually money) or want to come over and freeload, but I don’t hear from you otherwise? Yep, that’s over too.
And then even this year, you call a coupla days before Thanksgiving and ask… “Are you really not cooking Thanksgiving this year?”
Well dearies, I never said I wasn’t cooking. I said you weren’t allowed to come here. There’s a difference.
Anywhoooooo….
But I did cook, and for the first time in years I really enjoyed it because I didn’t have to worry about all of the extraneous bullshit. Family sucks. Mine does, at least. And from now on they can suck somewhere else.
The food was good. The lack of people in the house was better.
But I’ll tell you one damned thing. I didn’t make this…..
And if they think I’m being a dick now, just wait ’til Christmas. Their kids have been bought for already. They have not. And probably won’t be.
Uncle tWBS has had it.
–
Wow tWBS Is A Huge Dick, Huh?
Yes. Yes I am. Just ask anyone who has ever met me. But there is a method to my madness.
It’s very interesting to me how quickly people who allegedly “love” you seem to turn tail and run as soon as things get difficult; or more commonly, when they are no longer getting what they think they are entitled to from you.
That’s a funny word, btw. “Entitled”.
But let’s leave that alone for now and try to save this, if we can.
/deep breath
There really are many things (and at least one or two people) for which/whom I am very thankful. We don’t need to go into all of them here. But I am gonna tell you one.
I’m thankful for all of you fine DFO’ers. No shit. Every last one of you.
I’ve never met a better group of degenerates in my life. We’ve all got our quirks, no doubt. Some days, though thankfully only rarely, we end up figuratively at one another’s throats.
But underneath all of that is a love and respect I’ve rarely if ever experienced elsewhere. That’s pretty special I think.
THAT’S family. Genetics? Meh.
Personally, I’ve had a somewhat difficult past year or two. In a few different ways, actually. But every time I needed even just a shoulder or an ear, one or another of you has always been there. Unconditionally. Without judgement.
THAT’S family.
Every week, when I wrap up TGISF with “Love ya’s”, it very well might sound insignificant. Perhaps even flippant. To some of you, at least. But I promise you, it is not.
You are the best group of assholes I’ve ever been associated with.
Bar none.
And trust me, I know from “assholes”.
(ok, that just sounded wrong…let’s move on)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmAtwvZYTe8
–
Sports Which Will Not Save You From L-Tryptophan
NFL
So those were some good games yesterday, huh?
/ducks rotten fruit
First, the Norsemen sailed into the Motor City and plundered. The big kitties tried valiantly for the comeback win, but Case Keenum was Thielen it (yes I stole that joke from one of yesterday’s commentists but I’m drunk now and can’t remember who…feel free to take your credit in the comments below). Rudolph also showed up a month early. 30-23 Final.
Next, the Rivers flowed thru Dallas. The Shitty Clippers made Jerry’s World their own as Philip Rivers threw for 434 yds and 3 passing scores against zero picks. If you started Rivers or Keenan Allen on your FF roster, you are probably happy today. If you have Dak, you’re probably not. 28-6 Final.
Finally, the game of the day. If you hate football, that is. Wow this one was difficult to watch. The Redacteds had a surprisingly difficult time with them Fighten’ Eli’s, but at least Crowder came to play and Cousins had just enough left in the tank in the 4th. Honestly, by the time the Redacteds pulled away late, I was barely paying attention. 20-10 Final.
NHL
With the short week and the frigging holiday stuff, I’ve watched not one minute of hockey this week. Lucky for you though, because now you won’t have to hear me talk about it. None of ’em played yesterday anyway. Lazy assholes. Only one national game today and it’ll be over by the time you read this:
- Tampa Bay @ Washington – 5:00pmEST – TV: NHLN
NBA
These lazy assholes also didn’t play yesterday. Meh, I didn’t even notice.
Tonight:
- Charlotte @ Cleveland – 8:00pmEST – TV: NBATV
- Chicago @ Golden State – 10:30pmEST- TV: NBATV
NCAA Football
King Hippo has you covered here already.
But here’s the full schedule for Today/Saturday.
NCAA Basketball
Lotsa holiday tourneys to be ignored. Some surprises (NC State takes down #2 ‘Zona), and some not so much (N. Iowa takes down NC State). And you guys wonder why teh Hippo and meself are insane? Oh, you weren’t wondering? Tough but fair.
Anywhooooo….
–
Sexy Girls Cooking
Who’s eligible? Well, if she’s cooking, or even just obviously in a kitchen, she’s eligible.
I MAKE THE RULES SHUT UP!!!!!
Enjoy….
Dammit Sara Jean!!! Every time you and your friends come over I end up having to scrub all of you down.
No, I’m not complaining. I’ll get the hose (giggity).
–
Those Dishes Ain’t Gonna Wash Themselves, Hon
Oh, never mind. Sorry. You’re doing fine. I’ll just be over here in the corner watching.
What?????? You’re not wearing pants either!!!!!!!!
DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!
–
When Next We Meet
Next week’s TGISF will be coming to you live(ish) from the other side of the country. Almost.
For the first time in far too long I’ll again be on Pacific Time. Wooooo!!!!
And I’ll need to be aware of that so I don’t post TGISF three hours late while drunk and high (legally this time). Wooooo!!!!
I’ve yet to decide what TGISF will entail precisely next week, but I’ll be on location, live(ish) from Fabulous Las Vegas. Wooooo!!!!
Unless I find a reasonably priced hooker who is open to experimentation. Then all bets are off and you might get nuthin’. Wooooo!!!!
Or unless Low Commander drops the restraining order. (woo?)
I hope every one of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Regardless of how you chose to spend it.
Have a great weekend, folks.
Love ya’s.
–
Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme? Drop me a line…
–
My daughter has spent the entire day watching The Karate Kid 1-3.
It’s like Bill Simmons’s wet dream over here.
Sweep the leg, Horatio!
Gronk is taking that innocence. Am sorry Horatio.
He can try. And he can find out that, compared to some, Aaron Hernandez was a really mellow guy who never held a grudge.
I….misread this.
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been years since my last confession. I coveted, used foul language, and benched Kyle Rudolph for Austin Seferian-Jenkins.
There’s a lot going on in this photo.
Indeed. Very well composed.
Well you’re the only one who is.
There needs to be more “going in” going on in this photo.
Tits or Ass?
What would be the equivalent for women? Dick or income?
The answer, for both, is BOTH
LEGS. This query must be a three-parter, for every man is fundamentally a tit, leg, or ass man.
for ladies? watch, shoes, car.
Those were the three things I was told every woman notices on a man.
The shoes thing is the weirdest one to me, but it’s also 100% true.
They’re all proof positive that I am 100% unsuited to the dating world. Who the fuck wears a watch anymore (unless a family heirloom), I have painfully high arches, and fuck you if you think I’m spending $50K on a car to impress you.
So, take my introversion and my fringe-average-at-very-best looks, and I’m 0-for-infinity.
I’m with teh Hippo on this one. If a girl is attracted by things like that, I’d rather she gravitate in another direction.
Think of it as a cover charge. It gets you in the door, but it doesn’t guarantee you that you’ll have a good time.
There’s no cover on my right palm.
And no cuddling later.
And I don’t eventually risk losing half my shit.
1) It’s too much money for cover, frankly.
2) It makes me feel fake.
3) It filters out the (very rare) right person. Just sucks to learn how VERY WIDE this net is cast. And I am objective when I gather data like this, not being fatalistic. It’s close to 90%,.
I never wore watches until the smart watches came out and now I’m used to wearing one. Plus, the ladies like it. All you need is to shine whatever leather shoes you have. That costs almost nothing. I got a nice car for me, but I have to admit the ladies love it.
Don’t do it for them, do it for you.
I do do for me (lol).
If they like what I do do, then cool. If not, keep moving sister.
The fact that I am wearing “real people” pants is constricting enough. There is nothing in a smart watch I want, and I never got used to the feel of the last one over 10 years even though I liked the sentiment and the look of it.
I’m not a car guy, really. I did have a brief midlife crisis when I almost bought an Audi A6, but shit, that really weren’t practical.
And how a man picks out carrots in the store.
I’ve heard the same about watches.
and the person who told me this was not a materialistic or shallow person at all, which is how I know it is (i) true; (ii) systemic; and (iii) fucking hopeless.
I don’t wear a watch, I wear cowboy boots, and I drive a Kia Soul.
It’s…it’s lucky I’m already married, isn’t it?
Whoa. I don’t wear a watch, drive a Soul, and am also lucky to be married!
That’s it, you’re definitely getting more HRTN-time. Sorry, Balls, I’m gonna have to cut you to make room…
I bought the soul off hippie Mama Shogun. It has a peace sign and Nevertheless She Persisted lettering on the back window. I removed letters so it says Nevertheless Persist.
Souls are awesome hippiemobiles. We have two. I have the older one, and IWDB zooms around town in the Turbo.
I turned into a hamster so slowly, I never even noticed.
I had a nice watch I wore when married (gift), but the feel of it always annoyed me, and it broke when the marriage was disintegrating. Have never worn that, nor any other form of jewelry, since.
I drive a Honda Odyssey with 194000 miles on it. It’s paid for and has lifetime SiriusXM, leather seats, and is comfortable for my PeyPey neck. No chance of buying anything else until the leeches out of college.
the picture below made me think – if hot and stabby enough, could I actually date a Raiders fan? The answer I think, is yes, because that would mean she actually likes sports which is awesome, and it opens up avenues for taunting sex.
Do others disagree and for which rivalries would this be verboten?
Having experience with this, I concur with your choice of Raiders.
But I stick my dick in crazy, so YMMV.
every man does it’s just a function of how much denial he is in about same
/eyes IWDB nervously…
ME TOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, I lost my virginity to a Carolina chick.
What do you think?
The Panthers existed then?
he means U* of
Yup.
thats good eating
Cougars did tho.
What do I think? Well, not sure…. maybe opportunity and mutual young lust, possibly an act of rebellion depending on the upbringing…… oh, you meant…. never mind.
There was an ice storm. I got stuck in Chapel Hill and wanted to fuck something.
What can I say, I’m a romantic at heart.
If she will help bury something…..
i would hate fuck an Eagles fan. Does Gatliff have nice eyes?
OK, I laughed.
Yes, but he would only do it to ensure home field advantage
The best part is that I have a fucked up lazy eye that’d make Stu Scott blush even now.
Agree. I married a Giants fan. New England/Giants is a rivalry right?
18-1.
Oh, yes.
Nah, to the extent that they haven’t built their identity around being a fan of anything. If they’re hot enough, I could talk myself into tolerating a woman who says Dan Snyder has done nothing wrong.
But would you sing “Hail to the Redacteds” but you know saying the actual words?
Mario Testino takes good sunset photos. Who’d have guessed? I like this one the most because it looks like it could be an impressionist painting (I don’t even like impressionism).
That Helen.
What a bitch.
If she ever blows again, I would be able to watch from my desk except that the building is being renovated and there’s a cover over this facade so I can’t see her anymore. So hopefully she stays quiet for another six months.
Out of context, that sounds creepy.
NICE MONEY SHOT!
https://gfycat.com/EnchantingWetGeese
Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo or PC. PICK
CD-I
I don’t game on PC anymore.
I have a PS2 still. Also a WiiU and just recently, a brand spanking new Xbox one.
Savage.
Hey, if I had known I coulda got an in with IWDB by going PS4, you think I wouldn’t have?
Spanking…….
Nintendo is the only one I remember. Well, I remember my PC, but I only play my el beisbol replay game on it.
PS4, bro! If I’m gonna GTA online with IWDB, imma gonna do it on the big screen.
Fleshlight.
PC
am SNES for life! Secret of Mana, Chrono trigger and FFIII are the Greatest Ever!
I don’t have SNES anymore, but my fav on it was the Donkey Kong Country series.
FZero
what a fixture that UVA/VPI is, eh? You’d think it’s sleeting or sommet.
So you have the over, then?
Nein, I let it be.
Not sure what show this is from; but the plot seems tight.
GIS says she’s Kimberley Crossman from a Showtime series called “White Famous.”
It was a joke.
I have a ridiculous amount of saved photos on Instagram that I can now access on the website, and this is useful except now I have to triage what I want to share and also it’s now easier to remind myself what a horribly electronic hoarder I am.
https://gfycat.com/WateryDeepBlobfish
If that .gif is what you’re hoarding, share the wealth.
Agreed.
She seems like one of us.
And by one of us I mean….well…. never mind.
Hates pants
Sure, let’s go with that.
Am fucking LIT, it might be Black Out Friday. im gonna play some drunk HOTS.
Is that like LOTV?
World’s hottest Raiders fan, Josephine Skriver.
She seems… stabby.
hot, lithe, and stabby, Hippo’s kinda gal!
I’m pretty sure she is.
Rikki asks for reconsideration
Appeal denied.
Reincarnated Al Davis?
How did Miami make it this far undefeated? Clemson is going to pull hair next week.
So this is where all the cool kids are hanging out!
Just a self-serving FYI: HRTN merch has a Black Friday discount going on with the code ZBLACKFRIDAY.
What? I’m workin’ here…
Link?
Inorite?
Oops. That’s how bad I am at self-promotion…
https://www.zazzle.com/collections/hrtn-119935850845431603
And good luck getting your upside down HRTN beer stein.
YOU CAN’T JUST REQUEST THAT YA’KNOW??? MINE IS UNIQUE!!!!!
(i hope)
New TX coach looks like a real meathead
Sounds like you don’t practice proper hydration
Whozzis asshole color guy calling the UVA/Tech game and how do I have him killed?
Don’t lead him as much
continued fun with Kurt Benkert – doesn’t that sound like a character from an Ayn Rand novel?
I Am Kurt Benkert
He’s been curt with me before.
Just realized my supply of smokable is getting pretty low and my sommelier isn’t getting back from out of state until Sunday. Guess I’d better throttle back or I’ll be smoking bowl-scraped resin by Sunday.
Sommelier seems a bit much for “weed guy.”
He used to be a wine rep and always describes his product as if he were listing the qualities of a nice Beaujolais or Barolo. Nice finish, blueberry notes, etc. It cracks me up; dude I don’t care about all that just sell me some damn weed so I can get high.
The Black Friday Trilogy is on Comedy Central. Watch that SHIT!
Izzat the one where ice cube and chris tucker run through a mall trying to escape Zeus while avoiding Paul Blart?
kudos sir, i love it
I’mma have to see some ID
Cindy Mello. My brother’s friend started following her, so I hope to see something from him the next time he goes to New York.
The choke collar and Naugahyde bra prove she is beyond 18; LET HER IN!
Huh? Sorry you said gnaw and my mind left.
I’m convinced.
(I was already convinced lol)
It’s better than a passport.
Speaking of Vegas, I’ll be dining here again: http://pieroscuisine.com/
Mixing food with sex is not a turn on for me. Would you eat at a strip club?
No. No naked people near my food while dining thanks.
Really. Haven’t people heard about the Western Leaping Crab?
I got ointment for that, dammit!!!!!!!
Just seems a little odd to eat sushi like that. I mean I’d do it if that’s how it was served…
The tuna is especially good and fresh at this place.
Fuck. And. No.
Two statements; three answers….. WHOA!
Sandwiches are safe. Spaghetti is questionable. Any meat dish is basically asking for food poisoning.
Roast beef is common.
Pastrami
This guy gets it. I don’t want honey in my goddamned bedroom either. Do you want ants? Because that’s how you get ants.
/also a past FF name
Well, if they have a nice buffet, absolutely.
Yo
Yo! Are there any places left in Vegas where it’s like the old days? How’s Fremont St?
unless you’re a regular, no. Try a Gold Mine Tavern ot Red Rock Station.
Agreed with Spur.
LCSS, RTD and I rolled up to Fremont last year. Had a really good breakfast at the Plaza, but it’s more or less going the same way as the new strip now.
ACTION!!
Just one wee bit, $75 on Guns Up!!! +10.5 @ Hook ’em. Always like a 5-6 against a 6-5, differential motivation and almost assuredly not much difference in the quality department. Especially with that sweet, sweet little extra half-point hook.
/goes and checks betting account
We will help out when you hit bottom.
my plan is to power through rock bottom and emerge in Red China, where I will be worshipped as a god…
That’s where the pain killers are made.
OMFG, it’s fate!!!
So power bottom; got it.
Red Raiders be trying to help ya at least.
I’m doing a’ight really, so long as Cheating Motherfuckers cover tomorrow, and we all know they will. That will pull me within a few hundred of dead even since I started, with bets I placed on ACC, Big 12-ish, and SEC PAAAAAAWWWWWLLLL title games still outstanding.
Sounds….complicated.
Sexy Friday delivers again! Bravo asshole.
Hey!!!! It’s beer!!!!!!
Cool if I just tip her over and call her “Domino”…?
Spent thanksgiving with my kid and the ex-in-laws cheering the Dallas train wreck, which is ideal because my in-laws are great people and cooks that do Thanksgiving 100% from scratch, and I don’t openly revile them like my own family. Bonus points for the ex-wife not being there.
Excellent.
I would do terrible things both for AND to this person.
Cold weather cooking is the shit. It heats the kitchen and makes the entire house smell delicious. The wife and I hosted thanksgiving for the first time yesterday and it wasn’t a shitshow! Mainly because most of our families were elsewhere. The sane and drama free group got together and it was awesome.
Mostly same here. The least insane fucktards were permitted in.
Fortunately, there aren’t many who qualify for that in my family.
Perhaps the funniest caption I have read on DFO
Lindsay and Becca both need to die slowly and painfully.
Ive missed this season since I axed cable. How has it been?
About like real life.
Not fun. But on the bright side, you feel like shit afterwards.
I only gif’d for the titty twisting because it struck me as funny; don’t give a fuck about the show. I’d suggest if you don’t like it, don’t watch it.
I’ll take it under advisement.
Never said I didn’t like the show, tho.
What show is it?
“Not fun. But on the bright side, you feel like shit afterwards.” Would tend to make me think otherwise.
Is it just their characters that bother you?
Also; is there more titty twisting? If that is the case, I may begin watching. It does not look like they are using stunt tits either.
The show started strong, but the characters have gotten increasingly hateable. I stopped watching because I’ve got enough assholes in my life that I didn’t need to watch them on tv.
The writing went to shit in season four.
So it is a German show?
You’re the Worst is the show.
Yes, just like real life, the characters have flaws, and some are less than likeable.
That’s why I like the show.
I find that the older I get, the more I like being tested out of my comfort zone. Feeling like shit no longer bothers me. That’s oversimplifying it, but that’s the gist.
Got it; I tried a couple of episodes and just couldn’t get into it; I forgot those two were in it. I’m thinking no on any more titty fights.
Also; I am terrible, but far from the worst. More like the Wurst.
FURTHERMORE; can the writers change the story line to “Lindsay and Becca both need to die slowly and painfully.”?
They’re supporting characters and have pretty much been the same from the beginning. But fingers crossed.
Also, they’re sisters more or less jealous of one another. So that explains a lot.
Well, well, that makes the titty fights even more interesting…. perhaps I am on a tangent.
I want to believe.
There are no reasonably priced hooker in Las Vegas. There is no reasonably priced anything in Las Vegas. Free drinks while you gamble and comped rooms for gambling a lot don’t count, because they are not really free.
I got a free lun…….. ah fuck, no such thing.
You’re not wrong.
‘Twas merely a literary device.
I’m fine rubbing one out all by my lonesome and saving the cash foar the sportsbook on Sunday morn.
I’m hitting the sports book HARD in January when I’m there…also craps.
But you CAN eat your own pie.
Figured you already knew that, but just in case, didn’t want you to waste a bunch of time looking for that unicorn!
They don’t even do the free drinks anymore.
What sort of fuckery is that??
Vegas has changed. The closest thing to the good old days is Fremont street but even that’s different now.
I was pretty sure I would never go back after my last visit; now I am absolutely certain of it.
What’s reasonable?
Asking for a depraved friend.
In Vegas or in the legal brothels outside town?
My depraved friend is also cheap so…
You may be better off going to a strip club. Same result, safer, and cheaper.
@balls, @twbs, and any other Monster aficionados. I nearly forgot about this rare oddball. I enjoy it at times, anyone else familiar? Goddamn no photo. Lookup Ubermonster.
http://i66.tinypic.com/2dqstv6.jpg
Never even seen that one.
Though I did have one of my favs earlier…the Kona Blend coffee. Only available individually thus far, but I like it. I like it a lot.
I’ve never seen it. I MUST HAVE IT!
Nice shirt.
Love you buddy. Great job, as usual!
Godfuckingdammit (checks channel) NBC, did you fuck up the aspect ratio of The Grinch so the not-that-widescreen TVs get shit cut out? It’s bad enough with the sportsing! Cut this shit out!
Yay, food/porn coma!
I don’t even think she is a real cop.
But wouldn’t you like to find out?
“Hey come back here….I just stole something!!!!”
(real cops show up)
((shit))
It’s Demi Lovato, one of those ex-Disney stars.