Our Final Full Lesser Footy Day of 2017 – Cherish It

Yes, our long winter of discontent beckons.  Blech.

We jump straight into the 10:00 window, there being no early match.  Which kind of sucks.  Anyway, NBCSN brings you Man U hosting the surprisingly competent, 9th position Seagulls of Brighton & Hove.  CNBC has alternate viewing, in the form of Spurs hosting dire West Brom.  Barcodes v. Moose Hornets on NBC Gold is a much better bet.

5th position Redshite host resurgent 3rd place Chelsea in the 12:30 big NBC spotlight dance, which for once lives up to its moniker.  I will at least stream it, since the local Raleigh, NC network affiliate is showing Boston College/Syracuse JV action instead.  Sad!

Sunday brings us three fairly intriguing fixtures, with the 8:30 opener – Everton’s visit to St. Mary’s (Soton) only available on NBC Gold.  Both these sides (16th and 14th) are on poor form, and in need of answers.  Anyway, I shall be watching and hoping…and still waiting for a permanent manager.

As for matches normal humans might watch, 6th position Arsenal visit 7th place Burnley (9:00, CNBC), followed by runaway freight train Man City’s visit to #10 Huddersfield Town (11:00, NBCSN).  One expects the visitor “name side” to hold serve, but each match could be more difficult sledding than the untrained eye might expect.

On to the full, bountiful JV slate!

Georgia at Georgia Tech (Noon, ABC)

There Will Be Rushing Attempts.

Ohio State at Michigan (Noon, Fox)

/imagine picture of lukewarm pool of jism

Florida State at Florida (Noon, ESPN)

Fun Fact!  Both these sides are 4-6, and both have re-scheduled patsy games next week, while real teams play for conference supremacy.  One of them will get bowl qualification out of said sad exercise.  The other…just MOAR realization of just how deep the hole is.

Indiana at Purdue (Noon, ESPN2)

Two 5-6 teams that hate each other.  Yes, please!!

Alabama at Auburn (3:30, CBS)

Match of the Day.  DUH.  Winner takes all, and yes, I believe War Damn Eagle gets into the playoffs if it wins out.  I also believe Roll Damn Tide gets in at 11-1 with a loss here or to UGA.  Spoiler alert – I don’t believe either hypothetical loss happens, leaving Bama the only SEC PAAAAAWWWWWLLLL!!! representative.

Iowa State at Kansas State (3:30, ESPN2)

The Undead Bill Snyders will probably lose here, just to make BDSM State folk even angrier.  Cyclones remain one of the year’s better stories.

West By God Virginia at Oklahoma (3:45, ESPN)

I don’t wanna say “trap game” but….FUCKING TRAP GAME.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee (4:00, SECN)

Oh, the humiliation of it.  To be 0-7 in SEC play, and face similarly 0-7 Vandy…at home, on the last day of the season, each with nothing to play for.  Could easily be the lowest single point of Volunteer sports history.  I will watch more of this than I care to admit, because I’m really fucking weird.

Clemson at South Carolina (7:30, ESPN)

There are usually fights in this one, more than sufficient reason to tune in.  Rednecks at night, y’all.

Texas A&M at LSU (7:45, ESPN2)

I wish I attended a university where a football coach could enter the season finale a ded man walking at fucking 7-4 in the toughest division of the toughest conference in JV NFL.

Notre Dame at Stanford (8:00, ABC)

Hey, everybody, it’s the one time a year I pull for boring-ass Stanford.

Washington State at Washington (8:00, Fox)

Apple Cup, y’all!  Neat name, neat rivalry.  Wazzu has already beaten the Troi Boiz once, so they really need this win as a major step forward for their program.  Huskies can only play spoiler in favour of the Trees.

Colorado at Utah (10:00, FS1)

Not a great tweaker match-up, but at least it’s 5-6 v. 5-6, and Team Secular Big Love always gives a good effort.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
568 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Redshirt

Buckeyes scored a TD?!

Uh, does anyone have an antidote to poison?

rockingdog

comment image

scotchnaut

Ummm. is the Ohio State band wearing raspberry berets?

scotchnaut

If it was warm…

Redshirt

Yeah. They have two sets of caps. One for marching and one for casual.

ballsofsteelandfury

Stripes wrestling scene is on.

herodotus450

Uh oh, Fox figured out Split-Screen technology and are now cramming commercials into the game in between commercial breaks. Time to break out the Old Yeller gun…

Spur

This O’Korn kid may not be very good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

What a time, to be alive
comment image

scotchnaut

“We don’t take very kindly to your type round here. If’en you get our drift…”

-Redneck Scientists

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Scientists”

Spur

How does he intend to return?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t think he comprehends this type of abstract logic or thought.

I would prefer he not anyway.

rockingdog

Darwin Award nomination submitted

scotchnaut

“I did my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough.”

-Dino Babers, Syracuse coach

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

comment image
Halftime in the Chelsea match. 0-0.
Gonna go roll some broccoli.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Spur

Fix your shit Harbaugh. Ohio State deserves no hope.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

I guess Barrett just wanted another 5-yards in his rushing stats.

rockingdog

Had dinner with my cousins. They went to The Netherlands this summer. Showed me some pictures. Gotta say I gotta make that trip sometime.

Spur

Michigan has good corners

scotchnaut

I prefer curves myself. Freak.

Shogun Marcus

Not down with a sharp elbow? Angular knee? Strong cheekbones?

Spur

So Raider fans?

Shogun Marcus

I likes the ones that say “ehh, I guess.”

scotchnaut

Basketball-wise-have you ever played agin a girl with sharp elbows? Not pleasant.

rockingdog

comment image

Redshirt

I also keep a cyanide pill on my person. Just in case.

Shogun Marcus

Yeah…we meant to tell you. It’s just Alum and crushed alka-seltzer.

Redshirt

That’s why it didn’t work on 1/9/16. Or it did because my acid reflux didn’t act up.

Spur

So far, fuck you Ohio State and good job UCLA. I like Chip Kelly as a CFB coach.

herodotus450

Do you think Chip was on the fence about the UCLA job, but then saw the Rodney King footage and accepted?

Spur

Morning.

scotchnaut
Redshirt

comment image

rockingdog

Hazard with the shot on goal…. darn

rockingdog

comment image

scotchnaut

LET’S DO THIS!

…uh, what are we doing?

Redshirt

About to reap what we’ve sown?

– Buckeyes Fans

scotchnaut

-Ben MacAdoo

rockingdog

took off my pants and opened a beer!

scotchnaut

With your penis? Impressive!

rockingdog

comment image
Saw this last night and I like it. Gonna try to re-draw this then add some colors. For my art class.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Internet Daaaaaad, rockingdog is masturbating to everyday objects again!

rockingdog

Whooooo! Lets go Chelsea!
comment image

litre_cola

Meteor?

Redshirt

Ha, ha. Look at those ugly white and grey jerseys. They look ridicu,..oh, buck everything, that’s my team.

scotchnaut

The Bengals have been relegated to the NCAA?

/Division II, right?

Redshirt

I would give anything for the Bengals to wear their color rush jerseys as their away jerseys instead of their orange mantle shelf on a while wall jerseys.

Senor Weaselo

Lil’ Senor picked teams based on their color scheme, which is why there was a brief moment I liked Michigan, UMiami, and the Cowboys.

Listen, three-year-old Senor liked the blue star!

scotchnaut

Lil’ Sumpin is what I call my peener. Having been married for some time, it’s also a seasonal.

Shogun Marcus

Ubermonster for me. Not available everywhere and double the price if you want it.

scotchnaut

There’s a great doc on Rapheal Lemkin, coiner of the term ‘genocide’. Really powerful stuff. After escaping from Europe during the war, he hung out at the Nuremberg Trials, then hung out at the United Nations and badgered the fuck out of every diplomat he could find and eventually got a number of smaller nations to agree to put an anti-genocide resolution. He was nominated for the Peace Prize 7 times and never won. So, basically, a loser.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is he more of a “Buffalo Bills” or “Minnesota Vikings” kind of guy?

Senor Weaselo

I’m gonna say the Bills due to anti-genocide.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah but what about the whole “extinction” angle?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

TVs currently on in this long island gym are showing Harry Potter and Ewan McGregor in the pedophile as Tantalus, some animal show with a vet tending to a Tasmanian devil, real housewives of Atlanta, and E! Presents Amanda Seyfried not getting naked while she and Channing Tatum get all emo. No idea why I agreed to this but I still have at least ten minutes on the bike before I hit the weights.

litre_cola

Is it me or normally this is a good day for top 25 showdowns but not this rivalry week?

laserguru

Bournemouth is showing their patented stifling defense against Swansea but it’s allowable to score a fucking goal too you bloody fuck baskets!

laserguru

Shit.

Another 0-0 final. Number 15 or so in a series.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey!!! Who drank all mah beerz???
Oh yeah, it was me. Dammit.

Shit, guess I’m going to the store.

scotchnaut

I WAS JUST THERE!

theeWeeBabySeamus

And you couldn’t have picked me up a little sumpin’? Thanks man.

scotchnaut

THEY WERE ALL OUT OF SUMPIN!

Shogun Marcus

Is that a seasonal?

scotchnaut

I thought it was an IPA…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lagunitas actually does have an IPA with “Sumpin'” in the name, can’t remember exactly tho.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There it is.
OK, really off to the store now.
comment image

Shogun Marcus

That was the one I was thunkin of. And it used to be seasonal/limited! My memory DOES still work!

herodotus450

Hehe, what a sucker, going to the store
/Finishes filling up carboy with tWBS’ alcohol laden piss for repurposing

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ewwwwwwww.

Pay no attention to the herpes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Were you sitting on the beer?

theeWeeBabySeamus

You Sir, are either funny and/or horrible.
I’ll decide later.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image/revision/latest?cb=20151127174034

Viva La Tabula Raza

Crowd signs at Auburn, behind the ESPN pre-game hosts, include “OBEY JESUS.” Didn’t see anything supporting Roy Moore’s Senate candidacy, though.

rockingdog

comment image

Redshirt

I think this is gonna be like Trump voters; they’ll do it, but won’t admit to it.

...

I don’t think Roy Moore has the appeal Trump does but I do think he’ll do a bit better than expected at the polls.

rockingdog

comment image

rockingdog

comment image

herodotus450

So are these the only stakes today?
Auburn-RoyMooreabama decides who faces Georgia in the SEC.
ACC champ game is locked up.
If OSU loses there’s probably some wierd Quadro-way tiebreaker to figure out who plays Wisconsin.
Oklahoma will play someone in the Big 12(base 8) Championship game?
Any way ND or some Pac 12 team makes it to the top4?

herodotus450

Heh, the base 8 joke actually works!
In normal numbers: 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
In Base 8 (Octal): 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10 ,11, 12

...

Well done.

Shogun Marcus

OSU/Wisconsin is locked.

Senor Weaselo

I think it’s Oklahoma-Bloodeyes

Redshirt

Darn it, Discovery Family! Why did you have to choose the episode of My Little Pony where they Apple kids learn about how their dead parents feel in love?! I’m trying to get into OSU-MICH mood. That mood doesn’t involve crying!

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO

Redshirt

If Michigan does defeat Ohio State after 0-5 in 5 games and 1-12 in 13 games, your prediction may be a bit more literal than you intended.

Shogun Marcus

No love for Wiscy/Minny and the fight foar Paul Bunyans Axe?! We maybe has undefeat!
/just shitting you.

herodotus450

Hippo’s middle name is “Automatic Railroad Tie Hammer Machine” ppl forget that.

Redshirt

In honor of Trump announcing that he’s turned down Time Person of the Year because it would’ve involved an photoshoot and interview, I would like to announce that I have respectfully declined Scarlett Johansson’s offer of a night of lovemaking and debauchery because it would’ve involved a cross country trip and an awkward morning after of conversation over breakfast.

...

Trump is the laziest wannabe autocrat ever.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How deep the hole is? Are you sure we’re talking about Florida and not Houston?

litre_cola

I would imagine wider than deeper nowadays.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good morning everybody! I appear to have gained three pounds on Thanksgiving.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: “gaining three pounds” is how Tiki Barber described his visit to London, where he was forced to do some emergency busking after his credit card was declined.

theeWeeBabySeamus

@Hippo…presuming Heels cover today, probably gonna let it ride on Aints tomorrow (+2 right now).

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also considering hedging with Donks +4.5.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nah, what fun would that be? Whoever the hell is running the offense this week can’t be any worse. Raiders D in just as much disarray.

Paxton Lynch is called out of the stands to lead the charge. A late McManus FG gets the victory outright. Now that’s a feel good story to get tWBS some dough.

Hehehehe

theeWeeBabySeamus

😛

litre_cola

Scotland is beating Australia in rugby which is a nice start to the morning.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh, it won’t last. I learned this from many years of rooting against the Aussies.

litre_cola

Up by 17 now

ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo was THIS CLOSE to getting his Cal win yesterday. Probably better you didn’t watch.

On the bright side, as UCLA kicked off with 4 seconds to play, my dad said, “Lets see how they screw this up!”

litre_cola

I lost 50 bucks on UCLA

ballsofsteelandfury

I stopped betting on UCLA games my freshman year.

ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously though, NEVER bet on UCLA as a favorite to cover. They do great as underdogs, but that’s it. They are the kings of getting close but not quite all the way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

NC State would like a word with you.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s why we get along so well…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, at least you gotz Chip Kelly to kick around for a few years.

rockingdog
herodotus450

Didn’t read it yet, but I’m assuming it has something to do with stolen computers?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Over??? Nothing is over until we say it is!!!
(I need moar caffeine)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9gKyRmic20

Redshirt

I’m disappointed there was no Live Thread for Da U losing to Pitt. I would’ve enjoyed that.

(I have an irrational hatred towards Miami due to the ’03 National Championship Game against OSU before the game (“Celebration after we beat these guys!”) and after (“We lost this ourselves!”, “The refs screwed us!”, “Ohio State’s didn’t beat us!”, “We’re the best ever! Ever! EVER!)”)

Miami had the better talent, but Ohio State had the better team. For one night, the Buckeyes were better than the Hurricanes. But they just can’t admit it.

blaxabbath

comment image

herodotus450

Bielema finally sent to the slaughterhouse

1 2 3 5