Our Final Full Lesser Footy Day of 2017 – Cherish It

Yes, our long winter of discontent beckons.  Blech.

We jump straight into the 10:00 window, there being no early match.  Which kind of sucks.  Anyway, NBCSN brings you Man U hosting the surprisingly competent, 9th position Seagulls of Brighton & Hove.  CNBC has alternate viewing, in the form of Spurs hosting dire West Brom.  Barcodes v. Moose Hornets on NBC Gold is a much better bet.

5th position Redshite host resurgent 3rd place Chelsea in the 12:30 big NBC spotlight dance, which for once lives up to its moniker.  I will at least stream it, since the local Raleigh, NC network affiliate is showing Boston College/Syracuse JV action instead.  Sad!

Sunday brings us three fairly intriguing fixtures, with the 8:30 opener – Everton’s visit to St. Mary’s (Soton) only available on NBC Gold.  Both these sides (16th and 14th) are on poor form, and in need of answers.  Anyway, I shall be watching and hoping…and still waiting for a permanent manager.

As for matches normal humans might watch, 6th position Arsenal visit 7th place Burnley (9:00, CNBC), followed by runaway freight train Man City’s visit to #10 Huddersfield Town (11:00, NBCSN).  One expects the visitor “name side” to hold serve, but each match could be more difficult sledding than the untrained eye might expect.

On to the full, bountiful JV slate!

Georgia at Georgia Tech (Noon, ABC)

There Will Be Rushing Attempts.

Ohio State at Michigan (Noon, Fox)

/imagine picture of lukewarm pool of jism

Florida State at Florida (Noon, ESPN)

Fun Fact!  Both these sides are 4-6, and both have re-scheduled patsy games next week, while real teams play for conference supremacy.  One of them will get bowl qualification out of said sad exercise.  The other…just MOAR realization of just how deep the hole is.

Indiana at Purdue (Noon, ESPN2)

Two 5-6 teams that hate each other.  Yes, please!!

Alabama at Auburn (3:30, CBS)

Match of the Day.  DUH.  Winner takes all, and yes, I believe War Damn Eagle gets into the playoffs if it wins out.  I also believe Roll Damn Tide gets in at 11-1 with a loss here or to UGA.  Spoiler alert – I don’t believe either hypothetical loss happens, leaving Bama the only SEC PAAAAAWWWWWLLLL!!! representative.

Iowa State at Kansas State (3:30, ESPN2)

The Undead Bill Snyders will probably lose here, just to make BDSM State folk even angrier.  Cyclones remain one of the year’s better stories.

West By God Virginia at Oklahoma (3:45, ESPN)

I don’t wanna say “trap game” but….FUCKING TRAP GAME.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee (4:00, SECN)

Oh, the humiliation of it.  To be 0-7 in SEC play, and face similarly 0-7 Vandy…at home, on the last day of the season, each with nothing to play for.  Could easily be the lowest single point of Volunteer sports history.  I will watch more of this than I care to admit, because I’m really fucking weird.

Clemson at South Carolina (7:30, ESPN)

There are usually fights in this one, more than sufficient reason to tune in.  Rednecks at night, y’all.

Texas A&M at LSU (7:45, ESPN2)

I wish I attended a university where a football coach could enter the season finale a ded man walking at fucking 7-4 in the toughest division of the toughest conference in JV NFL.

Notre Dame at Stanford (8:00, ABC)

Hey, everybody, it’s the one time a year I pull for boring-ass Stanford.

Washington State at Washington (8:00, Fox)

Apple Cup, y’all!  Neat name, neat rivalry.  Wazzu has already beaten the Troi Boiz once, so they really need this win as a major step forward for their program.  Huskies can only play spoiler in favour of the Trees.

Colorado at Utah (10:00, FS1)

Not a great tweaker match-up, but at least it’s 5-6 v. 5-6, and Team Secular Big Love always gives a good effort.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Horatio Cornblower

On the one hand it looks like Jim Harbuagh is gonna lose. On the other hand, it looks like Urban Meyer is gonna win. If I had a third hand I’d be using it to tie a noose.

Redshirt

You still have OSU losing Wisconsin to look forward to?

Horatio Cornblower

-sigh-

I guess.

/kicks three rocks with his three feet.

Redshirt

/ falls on three asscheeks for kicking all three feet at the same time.

scotchnaut

Three yards and a cloud of Rust Belt!

Horatio Cornblower

I think “A Cloud Of Rust Belt” is the name of the hot new heroin brand sweeping the Mid-Atlantic.

WCS

For those of yinz who hadn’t heard, my brother-in-law was killed in a car crash on Sunday. We’ve been in West Virginia, trying to help as best we can. It hasn’t exactly been easy, but, I suppose it could be a whole lot worse.

scotchnaut

damn….

herodotus450

/Opens “Terry Glenn Jokes” Folder
//Ctrl-A
///Delete
////YES I”M SURE I WANT TO DELETE THEM FUCK YOU WINDOWS
/////Pats self on back for condolent gesture

Redshirt

Praying for your family, WCS.

rockingdog

Were gonna be here for ya WCS. Yea!

Horatio Cornblower

Sorry to hear it WCS. Condolences to the family.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hang in, dude.
Best wishes for all involved.

herodotus450

We’ve replaced this football game with an All Commercials feed, let’s see if anyone notices…
I NOTICED YOU FUCKWADS!!

Unsurprised

They were supposed to wait until tomorrow for the pro games.

scotchnaut

Programming Assistants: “Can we sell this OSU/Mich tilt on the historical angle for the 127th time?”

Programming Director: [wakes up out of deep sleep] “Sure. Sure. Great idea! Where’s my pillow?”

herodotus450

How does ohio state not just have a kicker who can kick it out of the endzone every tim?

rockingdog
rockingdog
rockingdog

Last one. its about Paw Patrol!!!! that Children’s Cartoon!
https://thewalrus.ca/inside-the-all-consuming-world-of-paw-patrol/

Unsurprised

The problem with nationalizing the Internet is the one big flaw in any comprehensive program that could be adopted in the U.S. (e.g. Medicare For All) – the stupid and evil shit that will happen when a piece of shit like Donald Trump is elected President.

WCS
rockingdog

Handles like a freaky european Gymnast. LOL!

Redshirt

Uh oh…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

“Ongoing Meniscus Issue” sounds like either an overly pretentious indie rock band, or some kind of really fucked up amputee-pregnancy porn.

Shogun Marcus

Still has to be better than dashboard fucking confessional.

Redshirt

JT Barrett’s meniscus pops in and out? That’s not good.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meniscus_(anatomy)

Shogun Marcus

Lady Shogun says she can post a video of her knee doing that at will.
/seen it
//no.

WCS

I’ve been off the reservation for a few days. Did I miss anything?

Redshirt

I’m on the DFO Suicide/Homicide Watch.

scotchnaut

Hippo came out as trans-elephant. Aside from that? Not much.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

Pencils that are in the shape of Cigarettes. Lighters that are pencil sharpeners. Cool!
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Redshirt

/ sees Barrett reach for knee.
“No…”

/ sees Barrett adjust his knee
“No…”

/ sees Barrett go down and Fox Injury Music turn on
/ looks up to Heaven
“Good one,”

scotchnaut

Fact: Jumanji 2’s tagline is “Welcome To The Jungle”.

Axl Rose: [collects $200, doesn’t go to jail]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Nope, nope, everything is fine.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

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theeWeeBabySeamus

And the comeback is on as ECU pulls to within 50.
LMFAO

rockingdog

Liverpool vs. Chelsea is a Draw 1-1. Whatever.
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litre_cola

BUT GLORIOUS FULHAM HAS WON 2 GAMES IN A ROW!

litre_cola

It is only november. We were way worse off last year.

scotchnaut

“Ar U Fuking kiding me? Thats nt Brodrick Daggerfiel dooin that fer reelz!”

-YouTube commenter

herodotus450

You can totaly see the cgi

Unsurprised

I always assumed it was an intentional nod to the stuntman who had to actually do these tricks.

Redshirt

So according to my TV’s Closed Captioning, Satan created Michigan’s Defense Scheme.

rockingdog

PFT Commentator: When ur hard count is more effective then your rhythm method
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which daughters eventually start doing porn?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Start?”

-Roy Moore

Redshirt

For me, I’m thinking “That poor, poor wife. All those childbirths.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Eventually, I expect that sweet sweet laserface monehs to fund a compound large enough for them and the Duggars to live, interbreed, and start their own race of advanced humans.

Six toes is cool, right?

Spur

i would spend good money to see Harbaugh take a swing at Urban

rockingdog

Yea William!!!!!!!! Chelsea with the equalizer!!!!
Out of the blue for the blues!!!! Oh yEa!!!!
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Redshirt

That’s Kick Catch Interference?!

scotchnaut
theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve not missed the bowl in at least a coupla days.
Sheeeesh, take a drunk shit in the hallway just one time and you get labeled a hall shitter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Christonacracker….even as a UGa fan, this GT game in Atlanta is….well….let’s just say Sherman wasn’t wrong.

scotchnaut

“A genius by the name of Gus Johnson is paired with something called Joel Crap. Did… did you need more evidence that reinforces my theory?”

-Freddy Nietzsche

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

-[Catcalls]

-She-Hulk

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Joel Crap?
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(see what piano playing and money gets you, fellers?)

Unsurprised

She still looks like she did when she was married to him 25-30 years ago.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Scary part is….so does he.
Piano. Money. Listen to ol’ tWBS gang. I won’t steer you wrong.

Unsurprised

Eep.

But, no, you’re right. I haven’t ever learned to ride a bike. I think learning to play a piano would be more useful.

Senor Weaselo

Except he can’t sing everything in the same keys he could (like Angry Young Man) so he transposes the keyboard and plays everything in the original key.

rockingdog

Dammit Hazard y u gotta be offsides…. shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Errands run, beerz procured, pants shed.
/looks at games
//crap

scotchnaut

Shoulda done that last one on the porcelain.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh, I spoke too soon. Memphis beating the everloving dogshit out of ECU. Woo Hoo!!!

See Hippo? It’s kismet. Everything’s coming up Paxton this weekend.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit. How have I never noticed this before?

scotchnaut

Just pulled his latest release off iTunes-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zcq_xLi2NGo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehe.
Obligatory.

rockingdog

Coach putting Fàbregas in for Chelsea. Down 1-0.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Smells good.

*Could be mixing products and names up…. again.

Spur

Who is Satan and how do I serve him?

WCS

Nick Saban, and be a five-star running back recruit.

scotchnaut

“If you could buy season tickets to the Islanders back in 2006, that’d be great. ALL HAIL ME!”

-Miroslav Satan

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LeSean McCoy and however you want cause you’re not getting a tip either way.

Redshirt

I offered him my soul after the Reds and Bengals lost in their ’12 playoffs but even he said he can’t do that kind of miracles.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lleyton Hewitt and try to put it wide with plenty of topspin.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only ACC I am interested in watching is German heavy metal band Accept.

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Spur

Ohio State about to show off its spelling skills.

WCS

their smrt

Redshirt

Its harder than it looks. All it takes is one Mellophone player forget how to spell or tripping and that entire chain of 100-200 marchers is going down like dominos.

nomonkeyfun

You know that sousaphone player is thinking, “So, I easn’t good enough for you, Dad. I didn’t play middle school football, like you. Who’s on the field for Michigan..”

Redshirt

Hey. I marched on the Indianapolis Colts field. I ended my Freshman Year in band in the center of the Colts helmet logo in midfield.

rockingdog

Shit. Liverpool scored.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A series of accidents at the Mike Pence cloning facility?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe the Anderson Cooper aging chart?

scotchnaut

Excellent.

herodotus450

That envelope of “lettuce” that Urban Meyer sent to the refs after the first quarter seems to be paying off.

scotchnaut

[slips an envelope of kale to the refs]

-Oregon Ducks head coach Willie Taggart

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Wow. BLEERGH really, really hate the Maize and Blue.

scotchnaut

Not sure about the current Michigan qb but you damn well should be ascared of the children of O’Korn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Khildren of the Korn seems like it would be a great name for a quasi-terrorist group, like the Panther Moderns.

scotchnaut

Or maybe The Weather Aboveground?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

we want plates.

rockingdog

Reminds me of Carne Asada Fries from Santana’s….before they changed their name to Fresh MXN

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laserguru

The steak appears to be modestly seasoned with just salt, pepper and some sprigs of fresh rosemary.
Fuck. All I have for breakfast is yogurt.

Shogun Marcus

That’s almost exactly the poutine I had last night!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dear Lord I’m salivating

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Bad spot

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why are you yelling at the dog?

Redshirt

This Ohio State team, I call them Boo, because every time I look they go passive and every time I look away they go aggressive.
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Spur

Why is Ohio State wearing white?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

2nd half. Go chelsea!!
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scotchnaut

If I told you I was watching the game I’d be lion.

ballsofsteelandfury

I do love the gratuitous tits on Stripes.

scotchnaut

Eh, I’m not that big a fan of John Candy.

ballsofsteelandfury

Not a true Canadian, eh?

Shogun Marcus

The Great Outdoors muthafuka!

Redshirt

1. Train you eyes to focus on the important stuff.
2. You have no respect for John Candy?