Where did the time go? [looks inside the folds of the sofa] Nope, it’s not there. [eats week-old Cheeto] The Wild Card spots are sorta, kinda, maybe taking a bit of shape. But maybe that dead-in-the-water 4-6 team will win out and sneak in with the help of three different statistically improbable improbabilities! The Raiders could very well beat Real Madrid in week 17 during a midnight game under a full moon in Wichita! I’ve seen it happen before. TO THE GAMES!
TB/Atl: The magic number here is 20. If the Bucs D holds a team under that total they tend to win. For the Falcons the same number scored virtually guarantees a victory. Start rb Coleman again because Freeman is still out.
Cle/Cin: Well looky here, it’s “The Bourble of Ohio”! Celebrate by starting a fire in a steel drum-the hobos will come right out of the woodwork. After that? The canned beans must flow…
Ten/Ind: The Titans haven’t won in Indy since I was in my early 40’s. (I’m almost 75 now) Rb Gore needs just 89 yards to pass Bettis for 6th all-time in rushing. No, he’s not human.
Buf/KC: Shout out to the Bills coaching brain trust! After giving up 34 and 47 points in back-to-back games they came to the conclusion that, “that damn Tyrod Taylor isn’t putting enough points on the board to support our D!”. Good luvin’. Lo and behold, a 5th round rook qb is thrown into the fire and the Chargers feast on the kid. If you’ve got an issue at the wr spot you could do worse than Zay Jones for the Bills. His fellow wr Benjamin is out and wr Matthews and te Clay are both hobbled. Go ahead, roll them dice.
Mia/NE: Another week, another Pats blowout. NFL Excitement, y’all!
Car/NYJ: Te Olsen’s broken foot is finally back from the infirmary which is lovely news given that the Jets can’t cover that position. They’ve given up 6 TD’s there. The Panthers have to be looking over their shoulders as the Falcons seem to have put things back together recently. Carolina will roll.
Chi/Phi: Chicago is about to go through the meat grinder. Speaking of which, have you ever tried bear sausage? I have and it’s not as bad as you’d think. [waits for Seamus to pounce on this]
[ties bow around game intro post] There! We’re all set. Heave-ho, commenters!
Random Brazilian shoppers have more athletic skill than the average Browns player..
a’ight Bungles, go get me a rouge
Alright Cam, act like you been there before.
That’s why Kia left you for me. OK, Hollywood, not me, but still.
CAM DOWN!!!!!!!!!!
I needed that.
Carson Wentz just went Mike Vick. Holy shit that spin.
…those poor dogs…
Cedric Ogbuehi either bet on the Browns or something.
How many FF points was that sanu TD pass?
OH FFS. And that hurt Fin doesn’t look too good either.
The Andy Reid coaching tree will consume the earth by 2032.
Holmgrasil admires it’s child.
/no Norse mythology people here?
That was a typo, it meant to say Andy Reid will consume the earth by 2032.
Alshon Jeffrey looking a whole lot like Alshon Jeffrey all of a sudden
Have $50 moneyline on each of Fightin’ Tomsulas (I believe in CJ Cregg) and AZ. Saw the AZ line now up to +6, so I laid $100 on the spread, too. This is Even Week Jaguras, mind. And who wouldn’t bet on The Flow??
You do not like money.
The maths are right. I not like SEA with all those secondary deaths, and SF has bothered RW previously.
I’m presuming that last question to be rhetorical.
LMFAO
Mixon packing a punch today
Crazy Legs Andy.
Reid? Them legs is operated via a complex series of ropes and pulleys to simulate a natural gait! Dude must be on break.
Fucking pushing and shoving after the play…
This is a fucking 0-10 team vs a 4-6 team. Neither team has anything this season to be proud of.
Battle of Ohio is being a little bit literal.
THERE is Scotchy’s ZayDOWN
This simply confirms that I’m getting it right 50% of the time. Up from 35% last year!
ZAYDOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dam fool — if you gotta kick it 35 yards for an extra point and you can’t hit a 50 yard FG, what are you good for?
Never go to Cairo.
Cairo Illinois?
Fuck yeah. Depressing ass place. Further proof that folks up in the North are just as bad, if not worse, when it comes to race relations than the south.
All It would take to make Cairo southern is another New Madrid size quake to move the river.
Now you tell me. – Lara Logan
British buddy of mine owned a security company that provided her security over in the AOR. He even brought her out to the wine bar! I asked him after the Cairo incident how it happened with his bodyguards with her and all; he said, “Mate, there were two of them against 300 crazy Mooslims. They didn’t have enough bullets if they’d opened fire.”
At least I can watch football on my phone during this pricey ass ride back to my car. Turns out I should have driven in and paid for parking after all.
Ready for am old guy opinion?
I can’t watch the Red Zone channel. It’s way too frantic. My nephews are into it but fuck that. I would rather watch an entire game develop and unfold than this non stop shit.
Slow down!
/ shakes fist
Roy Moore would like to subscribe to her newsletter.
Truly the best Giants fans.
Red Zone doesn’t show me MOMENTUM!!!!!
I agree. My older brother should just move to Red Zone but he has like all the games at once so he tries to do it himself.
Its so fucking irritating.
I did the NFL Ticket for one season, but found myself trying to watch everything and therefore missed just about everything trying to zap back and forth
For me it all depends on my mood.
But I get where you’re coming from. Some days it’s just too much for my brain.
Our gambling hippo (bar/band name!) Would disagree.
It’s like trying to keep up with the comments here.
I want to watch football like Marty McFly’s son did in Back to the Future 3: Eight screens sven of which have football and one that’s either the Weather Channel or the Scenery Channel.
Damit Blunt y u gottta fumble!!!! Shit!
Dammit blunt, why won’t you light?
Too much spit on your ends. Duh. I mean, so I’m told.
Like, just the most obvious block in the back ever.
Browns miss a field goal?
I applaud Philly’s sporting attempts to avoid running up the score on Chicago
Can someone tell the Eagles that the Bears gameplan today is to strip the football?
“All we gotta do is win the turnover battle.”
-Bears coaches
I win daily. Fuck draft kings. -a reid.
Also Andy Reid’s relatives, hoping he’ll fill up on bread and ensure that other folks get a share of the Thanksgiving feast.
Fill…Up? What is this Fill up?
TAUNTING?!?! FUCKING TAUNTING!?!?!
0 and MOTHER FUCKING 10 and we got a fucking moron with the balls to taunt. ABOUT WHAT?!?!!
Based on my limited experience in high level athletic competition, the other dude is being criticized for “being a fag.”
Wrong way Cam.
That bouncy booty is bouncy….
Oh Spur is in good form today.
It’s gonna be a good day.
She’s always been one of my fav gif series. Have used her often.
No, not like that. Sadly.
Want to die out in the Pacific for no good reason and have the President publicly attack your next of kin, turning a cultish faction of the country against her because her son died?
JOIN THE NAVY!
Boy, the Chiefs look terrible.
Andy reenacting his entire Philly career in a single season is quite the spectacle.
I told them not to accept those blankets.
“Well, they are playing against the Bills.”
-No One
yet still likely to win AFC West by default.
…I do believe I just saw Jeremy Clarkson on my TV advertising Emirates stupid-awesome first class…
Guess I need to start drinking then.
Always the right answer.
You did. I wonder if the 100 or so people that can afford it were impressed.
Gotta say, if some miracle of lottery / misbooking / getting a much better job, I ended up in one of those suites, I’d probably be far too absorbed in enjoying my solitude to even turn on the TV. (For a while, anyway.)
This is always the sunday answer.
Did he call it the best airline… in the world?
Please do not try to run against the Eagles
Keystone Cops descendants gonna sue for that fumbliness Phi/Chi…
The thing about not wearing pants is that it’s ideal to let my erection stand free as the Pats continue to run up the score on Miami.
May be some shrinkage later at Le coupe grey.
Yes, I am all for this. Brady should be entitled to like 6 passing scores, plz.
Maestro is going to die of priapism.
Intercepting For First Downs: The 2017 Chicago Bears Story
HERPA DERP
Zay Jones has me .50 points so far. Suck it, losers!
Well, I just ate an entire (small) thing of Cajun fries from Five Guys. Well at least I can’t lose another gallbladder, right?
I’d like to make the second diagnosis of CTE in a living patient
Patriots got me feeling like…
Thought that 17-line in Masshole-land looked heavy, but they was a reason I no bet it
She seems… confused.
Well that was almost a rear ending when my Lyft driver was ready to run a light and the truck in front of us was stopping on yellow. Hooray NYC!
Best part of the Browns is the run defense…so naturally the Bengals run it down their throat with abandon.
7-3…insurmountable lead.
I do enjoy your commentary each week being a fan of the factory. I wish we had a Bills fan here as well purely for the violent mood swings.
Hey, where is Rev?
Very busy with life when last I heard.
Oh SHIT!!!! ASJ should have caught that. for the jets.
TD Not Green
I’ve gotten a lot of PHI games this year. It’s a nice break from weekly non-market games of DAL/PIT/NE.
I’d kill for one week of no p*ts.