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Your “Holy Sh*tsnacks Batman…No Football?” Saturday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Nope, no football tonight.  More or less.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJcwqyhUtH0

OK, calm down, don’t cry.  There actually is if you want it badly enough.

The FCS quarterfinals do continue tonight with the #16 Kennesaw State Owls facing the #5 Sam Houston State BearKats.  But that’s on ESPN3 though (8:30pmEST), so I say screw that game.  Also, the BearKats are favored -5, but the moneyline is retarded.  So screw that game even more.

And what the hell is a BearKat anyway?  Just the name sounds scary.

Oh, OK.  Not scary at all.  Kinda looks like an otter fucked a weasel.  Well that  thought is kinda scary, I guess.

But unless it goes rabid and attacks the person in the mascot suit, I might be losing interest.

Also, the mascot’s name is “Sammy” btw…how creative, right?  That would be like Stephen F. Austin’s mascot being named “Stevie”, which would be stupid too.

Little known fact…Stephen F. Austin’s mascot is actually the “Lumberjacks”.  Not stupid exactly, but doesn’t sound interesting does it?  Well, what if I told you the women’s teams are known as the “Ladyjacks”…..?

Still nothing, huh?  Well I thought it was funny.  Ladyjacks…hehehehe….

Aaaaaand I’ve gone off the rails here so let’s move on, shall we?

(Texas is weird)

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NFL Broadcast Maps – courtesy 506sports.com

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Things Which Are Not Football Foar Your Viewing Pleasures 2Nite

NHL

Lotsa games tonight, but only one national broadcast…

  • Toronto @ Yinzburgh – 7:00pmEST – TV: NHLN

Full Schedule

 

NBA

  • Miami @ Brooklyn – 6:00pmEST – TV: NBATV
  • Utah @ Milwaukee – 8:30pmEST – TV: NBATV
  • OKC @ Memphis – 9:00pmEST – TV: NBATV*

* Not sure about the OKC/Memphis game.  I’m seeing it listed on the interwebz as being on NBATV, but maybe a regional split?  On my TeeVee box grid, it shows Utah/Milwaukee sooooo…you’ll get whatever you get.

Full Schedule

 

NCAA Basketball

Top 25 Tonight:

  • (5)Florida @ (17)Cincinnati – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
  • Southern Utah @ (3)Michigan State – 6:00pmEST – TV: B1GN
  • (14)Minnesota @ Arkansas – 6:45pmEST – TV: SECN
  • (9)Notre Dame @ Delaware – 7:00pmEST – TV: CBSSN
  • Hillsdale Free Will Baptist College now known as  Randall University @ (23)Baylor – 7:00pmEST – TV: None because who gives a shit?  J/K…FoxSportsSW  😉
  • (18)West Virginia @ Pitt – 8:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2

Full Schedule

 

 

Other Stupid Shit You Can Watch* Tonight:

  • NCAA Women’s Volleyball Tourney – All night tonight more or less – TV: ESPNU
  • American Ninja Warrior (whatever the fuck that is) – All night tonight more or less – TV: NBCSN
  • UFC Fight Night – 8:00pmEST – TV: FS1
  • A Shitload of Star Wars Movies – All night tonight more or less – TV: TNT
  • The Grinch (and not that stupid Jim Carrey bullshit) – 7:00pmEST – TV: TBS
  • It’s A Wonderful Life – 8:00pmEST – TV: USA (Fuck off, George Bailey you dumbshit…Clarence should have pushed you into the river and been done with it)
  • A Bunch of Stupid Ass Christmas Movies – All month more or less – TV: Hallmark Channel

* Please don’t admit it if you actually watch any of this other than the women’s volleyball.  Otherwise, just lie and say you read a book or something.

 

But whatever you watch and/or do, you better sure as hell tell everyone about it in the comments.  Otherwise we will think you don’t like us and we will be sad.

You heard me…get to it!!!!!!!  Typey typey!!!!!  NOW!!!!!

Someone has to put the lipstick on this pig of a night and it might as well be you.

–

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_yBUfMGvzc

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Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40V9_1PMUGM

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ugh I feel like garbage

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Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

There are much better musical choices, even at this late drunken hour.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Especially since it isn’t raining

1
Gratliff

Time for my favorite part of Christmas gift giving: Updating Electronics and meticulously re-packaging them so they’ll be usable before New Year’s

1
Wakezilla

God damnit. The Vancouver Canucks’ shut down line can’t shut down shit. And fucking Nielsen. Dude is 6’7 and he’s flopping around like a fish. Jesus christ.

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Mr. Ayo

2 girls, no cup.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Almost a role reversal.

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Mr. Ayo

Good to see he found work after Austin Powers
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

It’s too bad the Florida baseball team isn’t named “The Merlins” instead

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Katie Nolan Covered in Salsa, a fetish I never knew until tonight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlRu2ysUy3Q

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Salsa is good on tacos.

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Shogun Marcus

I’VE NEVAR FORGOTTEN THIS!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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They miss their little brother.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, Spurs have pissed away a 19 point lead to let Suns tie it up with 3 minutes to go.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gonna call it a night.
Be well, gents (and ladies if you’re out there).

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Tom “went to sleep” after a massive stroke and little Timmy took his coin collection before he left.

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Senor Weaselo

He dead.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh no; he’ll be out of the hospital in no time.

*Leg casts.

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herodotus450

boo

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

I’m not a fan of roundabouts either.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Even the launchy ones?

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Shogun Marcus

As long as it’s not my car.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Drive-trains and suspensions be overrated.

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herodotus450

That cat on the left is unfazed

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think it is a dog “I gotta see this.” [in bark]

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...

Reflecting more back on 2004: remember when making a slightly weird yell killed your campaign?

And isn’t it incredible how that guy went from legitimate progressive voice to pharma shill?

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King Hippo

That whole thing stems from “don’t show how you really feel” and poor Howard can’t act fer shit. They should have let him go out there and go “well, that kind of sucked, didn’t it?”

And he’s a DOCTOR, it’s drilled into they brains to be pharma shills.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But free boat rides tho.

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herodotus450

Can you imagine if he was a black divorcee who’d bankrupted multiple billion dollar companies?

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herodotus450

Speaking of which, why don’t southern repulblicans give a fuck about where trump goes to church? Seemed like a big deal for obama (and kenned) (oh wait they were spendocrats)

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Pssst….
Because Trump is white.

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herodotus450

Well I don’s see race, people tell me I’m white and I believe them because [redacted].

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

Yeah…white…

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...

If you’re confused about evangelicals supporting Trump, it’s because you haven’t realized they don’t actually worship God but worship autocratic power for its own sake.

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herodotus450

I think a big, the most important even, question is, do they know that?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No.

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...

I would say the distinction is irrelevant to them.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I live here in the belly of the beast, I’m used to the hypocrisy. It’ll be expensive, but I’m most likely gonna retire back to Massachusetts.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WHATS ARE YOU SAYINS?? HE FOUND JESUS!!

*On the campaign trail.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Or had five children by three different wives?

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King Hippo

I don’t like this mostly football-less Saturday. This February might finally do mah cracker ass in.

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herodotus450

Surely there are many reasonably priced escort services in your area?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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laserguru

Chose “Logan” over sports options.
I have zero regrets.

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herodotus450

Big Mistake. Mac Forever.
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Viva La Tabula Raza

I went to check out Logan from the library last week and it appears that someone has stolen it.

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blaxabbath

Why did Indianapolis rank so low? I’d guess Indiana is easy-going and reliable.

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Shogun Marcus

High crime, high meth rates, a blue speck in a blood red ocean. The dichotomy of have/have not seems more severe than other places. Also years of christian conservatism have screwed up their economy.
pence came from here…ppl that live there are trying to forget that

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...

No interesting culture to speak of. It’s all sprawl and highways and depression.

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...

So I was just seeing bits of pieces of John Kerry’s 2004 campaign and holy shit did you remember the Democrats ran John fucking Kerry in 2004?

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I contributed $200 to his campaign. I still get emails from the DNC asking for money.

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herodotus450

I remember he lost to Bush, who’s campaign mostly hinged on a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. HOW DID THAT WORK OUT FOR YOU ASSHOLES! ALSO DID YOU DROP OUS OF 7th GRADE AND NEVER LEARN THAT CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENTS ARE NOT A PRESIDENTIAL POWER? OH RIGHT, OF COURSE YOU DID AND THEN MARRIED YOUR SISTER/BROTHER!
Also, Cheney’s daughter is gay and was out at the time, but it was “unfair” to bring it up in the campaign.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Thinking back on what a shitshow those years were, I think I’d still prefer them to what we’re going through now.

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herodotus450

I think without hte one we wouldn’t have t’other.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Perhaps, but I think the present situation is more a result of racist reaction to the black guy.

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...

It’s some of that and some the continual upward momentum of wealth that’s left more and more people desperate for desperate a savior that even a conman would do.

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...

They just seemed better.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What? Two never ending wars bugs you? Pussy.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Everything is relative., I reckon.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like that the GOP Swiftboated him WHILE RUNNING BUSH JR. The fucking looking glass.

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...

I think the political environment was definitely different back then, but holy hell, the Democrats are way too eager to out-military the Republicans and it never ever pays off for them.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, he did, George and most of his cabinet got out of service; gotta give them credit; they just attacked and it worked.

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...

Oh, I know. It’s why the Democrats need to stop trying to straddle the liberal-conservative divide. Conservatives will never take 50% of what they want when the Republican is offering 100%. Kerry was a great example of offering 50%.

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King Hippo

He had a really good convention, and absolutely everything was liquid shit thereafter.

Buuuuuuutttt…dunno if 2004 was gonna be anything but an annoying loss, regardless. And in retrospect, thank fuck “Johnny” Edwards got nowhere near real power. Fuck, speaking of votes and donations one regrets…

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...

The psychosis 9/11 put us in ensured that we’d end up with a right-leaning government at the very best. The lust for war was just too great and Iraq hadn’t gone fully tits up yet to offer up actual progressive politics and expect to win.

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King Hippo

We got 8 years of a cool black guy. That my (now ded) Republican, teetotaler Baptist Grandmother voted for.

I just go to my mental happy place and hold onto that.

Do you think Barry misses us too? Or is he too busy having sex and doing other cool black guy stuff…

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...

I think once he got his $60 million book advance the millions in public park land in Chicago to build his library, he stopped caring about us.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Good for him. He earned the not caring about us.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You saying that 10+ years of lies and racist bullshit might wear a public servant down a bit?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not saying that.

But I might be thinking it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just a tad bit?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/obama-protect-democracy-or-risk-following-path-of-nazi-germany/ar-BBGr5Qw?OCID=ansmsnnews11

Dude still gives great speech. Also; George didn’t need nearly as large a liberry.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Trump’s presidential library will fit into a Sunglass Shack kiosk.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Jeez, let’s hope so. I’d hate to think we broke him.

Plus Michelle is still way totes doable.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He should never have made that campaign stop at the Altoona Taco Bell.

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JustStopDude

I still cannot fathom why they tried to run Secretary Clinton down America’s throat.

They literally ran with the worst candidate possible, who struggled to lock up the primary against an old unknown, socialist who only registered as a democrat like 6 months before the election.

Leave it to the democrats to routinely snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The lost to a fucking parody twitter account.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“parody twitter account.”

That’s a lot of credit.

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...

It’s because the Clintons intimidated anyone who would try to oppose her and had enough power in the party to get their way. They had actual loyalty scores to target people who left them to back Obama in 2008 and campaigned against them. That’s why only Bernie could step up to oppose her: the Clintons had no leverage over him.

It’s why I think the party is finally turning on them.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gary Hart…….

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...

’88 sure was fun.

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herodotus450

Should definitely go to bread but there’s this whole glass of vodka some one poured…

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Mr. Ayo

Halfway to bourble.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Go to bread and whey down?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’m sure her girlfriend is happy.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I had a completely different response in mind, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to phrase it to minimize my future shunning.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

Hot Taek…99% of the people that claim they have “food allergies” are attention seeking morons who have neither allergies nor good taste.

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litre_cola

Nuts could kill me. In this case I am the 1 percent.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Deez nuts?

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litre_cola

No, treez nuts

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It was too easy.

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JustStopDude

I have yet to meet someone that claims they have a wheat gluten allergy that can identify what the term “gluten” fucking means.

I was eating with a lady friend who would make the biggest fucking shit show about how she can’t touch wheat gluten.

She is vegan so she eats imitation meats all of the time. That shit is basically just pure fucking pressed gluten.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well since you have not met anybody it MUST be true.

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JustStopDude

Oh Moose…don’t be a drama queen.

I know you understand how to parse a sentence.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll add a coma, doctor juststopdude.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Somebody call me?
(that’s a “come doctor” joke btw…gluten free)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

FIXED IT!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

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...

I had a friend/coworker who legitimately has a gluten reaction. He noticed it when he drank beer and after he switched to other alcohol, he had no digestive problems. His sister also has the issue, so I think it’s legitimately genetic.

And you know what? I didn’t even know until I explicitly asked him. He never said anything about it and never mentioned any special diets. He thought people who emphasize it are kinda dicks.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are all kinds of food allergies; some people think they have them and don’t, some people have them and are un-diagnosed and feel like shit all the time, symptoms very, etc. A great example is Celiac disease. Some go away, some come on at an older age. I guess if we go anecdotal a guy at work, his wife has a corn allergy; has to carry an epipen since corn is in every fucking thing. Another woman I work with has enough of a gluten allergy that she throws up.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I know a lady that has the corn allergy. Really limits her choices when we go out to eat, especially Mexican.

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JustStopDude

Yup. Exactly my point.

The vast majority of us deal with issues, both severe and minor, on a regular basis and don’t feel the need to generate a massive shit show.

My experience is that those that go to the trouble of gaining said attention, generally can’t seem to keep their story straight.

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Wakezilla

I have a friend who legitimately has Celiac’s disease. She hates with a fiery passion the anti-gluten phase because many restaurants have gotten sloppy with their cross contamination.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I get ill from certain seafoods, but since I don’t really care for any seafood, I use this as an excuse so I can order steak instead. I like ribeye.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Kudos on the ASSist there, kid.

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LemonJello

That’s just good hustle.

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ballsofsteelandfury

How did you get that video of Lil Balls?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You take steroids?

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