I’m pretty certain that this is the latest I’ve ever been in starting on TGISF. I can’t be certain, because I tend to stay drunk and/or high whenever possible these days, but I’m pretty sure.
/checks clock
//checks calendar
Yikes. Yep. It’s currently 12:40am on Friday, December the 15th. Usually I’m more or less finished and only need to proofread/edit on the day of. Yet here I am, drunk, sleepy and way totes not ready. I need to be relieved of my duties. Please.
/blinks twice
//no one responds
*sigh* Now I know how Melania feels.
Why am I so late this week? Nunya biznatch. Let’s call it a “confluence of events”. Only some of which were under my control.
–
Let’s Figure Out A Theme, Shall We?
We could choose a princess out of the hat. There’s plenty of them still in there. It could even be one of the handful I’ve been saving for special occasions. But that feels wrong. I’d even call it “cheap”. Especially considering I took that easy way out last week (no ofence to Jamie Chung intended, of course) when I actually had a valid excuse for doing so.
Nope, I will not denigrate any of our “on deck” special princesses with the tag of being a “cheap out”. They deserve better than that. Besides, that’s me…not them.
But again, why so late this week? Well, I won’t say I was just lazy, exactly. For someone with no job and no significant other, you’d think I’d have a bit more free time to masturb…..errrrrr, write. Yet it never seems to work out that way. Even as cold as it’s been for the past coupla weeks, and I can no longer get much done outside, it still seems my time is not my own.
Meh, why change now? I’ll masturbate when I’m dead. Not that I’m saying I masturbate outside in the cold. Also, not that I’m saying I don’t. STOP GRILLING ME DAMMIT!!!!
But I digress…
Yes, it’s been cold lately. While it’s not technically winter yet, it freaking feels like it around here lately. So fine, let’s go with it, shall we?
WINTER SEXY!!!!!!
(but nawt hawliday sexy because that would mess up next week and the week after so no…just cold)
I was in the pool!!!!!!!!
Never mind.
–
I’m Sick Of Hearing About Star Wars
I don’t really have any other point here than what that header says. Oh, and also that people like this are idiots. But I suppose it’s no worse than his mom’s basement, so who am I to judge?
Still though…. Fuck Star Wars.
But I have to admit, they do have some funny memes…
Still though, fuck Star Wars.
–
Sports Which Make Your Blood Run Cold
NFL
Donks showed up in Indy last night and…well… (ahem) … Once Mingo dropped a little Siemian (yes, I still think I’m funny with that one), then… ChewBrocka (did I mention…fuck Star Wars?) came in cold like he was on Hoth. Then calmly made his own Kessel Run (I can’t take credit for that one, I heard it on NFL network this morning). Donks win, but this was not the draft position they were looking for (get it?). OK, enough of that. 25-13 Final.
Saturday/Sunday/Monday Schedule
NHL
TV Tonight:
- Los Angeles @ NYR – 7:00pmEST – TV: NHLN
NBA
TV Tonight:
- OKC @ Philly – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
- San Antonio @ Houston – 9:30pmEST – TV: ESPN
NCAA Basketball
Top 25 TV Tonight: None, but if you’re starved for college bb, there’s a coupla crappy games on..
- S. Dakota State @ Colorado – 8:00pmEST – TV: PAC12N
- Maryland-E. Shore @ Creighton – 8:00pmEST – TV: FS1
NCAA Football
Still only the JV of the JV tonight, but it’s the FCS raging semis!!!! Sorry, I thought it was funny.
TV Tonight:
- FCS Semifinal #1 – (2)N. Dakota State vs (6)Sam Houston State – 8:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
- DIII Nat’l Championship – Mount Union vs Mary Hardin-Baylor – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
FCS Semifinal #2 between (1)James Madison and (5)S. Dakota State is tomorrow (4:30pmEST – TV: ESPNU). As is the first round of FBS Bowl Games, which won’t be good, but you know you’ll watch anyway.
–
Winter Sexy Time
So, why did I decide on this theme this week? Well, it really was probably roughly 90% me being lazy and procrastinating. But I had already been considering this one after an exchange in the comments some weeks ago about the “attraction” towards the shift to fall/winter fashions once the weather started turning colder. ie, a lovely lady who knows how to dress, even if that means being a bit “bundled up” once the weather turns colder, is still just as attractive. Sometimes, the more left to the imagination, the better.
Also, sometimes not. I mean let’s not get crazy just because it’s cold out.
Enjoy…
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…
And by snow I mean… Well, never mind.
–
Winter Sexy Equal Time
This week, by request, I’m bringing back “Equal Time Foar Teh Ladies”. Thanks for voicing the request. You know who you are.
Enjoy…
Hehehehe, sorry. I’ll make it up to the ladies with something classy now…
–
Once Again…
…I’m at a loss for how to close things out this week. So here’s something random.
Blue Jays are assholes.
No, not those Blue Jays. Welllll….not only those Blue Jays. But that is a good excuse to post this again…
Hehehehehe….it never gets old.
But I digress…
No, I’m talking about actual Blue Jays. The birds. They always show up when the cold hits and they’re always assholes. They fight not only with each other, but with every other bird in the area. I have some of my own photos of them, but none which illustrate what jerks they are. But this does….
In general I try to let nature do its own thing and not get involved. Blue Jay on Blue Jay violence? I don’t really care. I’m sure they’ve all earned it in one way or another, little jerks that they are.
But I will admit that I have thrown acorns and even the occasional rock at Blue Jays when they were being assholes and ganging up on non-Blue Jays. Even as recently as this morning.
Anywhoooooo…..
Stay warm and have a great weekend everyone.
Love ya’s.
–
Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme? Drop me a line…
–
I’m too old for this shit
I have no idea what the record willshow, but i’ve turned down a lot of gross shit tonight.
I smell stories!
Did someone say Girl Band?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jC9AUR-iTo0&feature=youtu.be
Is it wrong that I ended a Chanukah party with a game of Secret Hitler?
No
IWDB demanding girl band representation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BphZiqztPrc
We scared the kids off. Just as well. Their Pearl Jam-lovin’ asses are far too tender to handle MF&tGG…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2idiNgegpXY
If we’re gonna get after it, I’m gonna get after it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ymeuOz0hZU
I’ll never not +1 the fucking Ramones. My love affair with that band has lasted almost 4 decades (so far).
Iggy gonna Iggy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJIqnXTqg8I
Alright.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zUlkx14c1M
So it’s like that?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYqQazljIAc
Moar Punk Rock!
Fuck the Haters, Fuck the Man, Fuck the World.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F39UP1mjAnc
Oh there you are.
You guys have shitty taste. Your whiny music sucks.
This has been a Public Service Announcement
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAKoU_W_mf8&list=RDxAKoU_W_mf8
That’s a solid music choice right there.
I was gonna say if it wasn’t that there would Ben problems.
Well I had a stressful afternoon. Lessee, my violin was opened a crack and I was worried the snow had breached (fortunately it didn’t). Then I learned about the advantages and disadvantages about turning traction control on and off. Turning it off’s smart for going up the hill! Less smart for braking downhill. But I didn’t rear-end the car in front of me. Then I thought I lost my wallet while I ate dinner, but it was between the car door and my seat.
So yeah, my adrenal gland is less than pleased, but it all worked for not the worst.
Gotta protect that crack
I mean the case was opened a crack, but… yes
Jameroquoi! And no I have no idea how to spell that
Submitted for Dok’s approval.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Eh6_FFUSg4
If we’re going to do Pearl Jam, let’s do mutherfucking Pearl Jam:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Fh9L8dzH2w&ab_channel=MFSYNC172
Holy shit! Live from Moline Illinois! Former home town.
Okay, so you’ve done time in the Quad Cities, and Kazakhstan… The next DFO meetup needs to be out here, East and such. I could pick yinz brain for six hours.
Say “When.”
“When” is whenever you Left Coast dickfaces decide to stop hoarding it all to yourselves…
We’ve had serious discussions about New Orleans next November or some such.
Figured we could triangulate.
Hot sauce expo! Hot sauce expo!
/Will only be there Sunday
//nomonkeyfun came last year
I drove through Ohio. Entire goddamn state from west to east.
It was a state.
Midwestern in fact.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wplUBFVsbtw
This sinus thingy is crushing me. Calling it a night.
Behave yourselves.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je-CPZRwbh8
I’ve got da riddum running all troo me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVvyRZvizug
Goddamn West Coast difference.
Move to where time really matters.
But I’ve still got life and visuals.
I’m off to get cold
So… you’re either spending time with my mother-in-law, or you’re freezing to death?
Dammit Moose!!!
*sigh*
I’ll be right back.
If you insist.
(also, kudos to you foar finding a sfw version of that….there are many which…are not. They are great, btw)
LMFAO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkbgtVFlyCQ
I kind of want to go get ice cream. It’s currently 39° and I’m comfortable here, but also ice cream.
All those who think Dok should do a post, counting down her favorite masturbation songs….?
It wouldn’t be long post, there really aren’t that many well known masturbation songs. Also, kudos to my phone for learning the word masturbation!
I thought they were the songs you masturbate to or at least those playing at the time.
No, I’m actually not kidding.
Please consider it, Dok. Folks would love it.
Isn’t ever song about masturbation in some sense?
WHOA!
Every song IS masturbation. In a sense.
Holy shit. Longview.
Longview is my second favorite song about masturbation
Good choice.
um……k.
Ditto.
This shit’s getting old
Well, that’s a different subject; I poop patrol the yard regularly so that the dog does not say that.
You know what i meant.
But LOL anyway.
Well, the pooch does give me that Fucking REALLY? look when I don’t shovel patrol often enough.
I bet he/she isn’t a hateful misogynist tho.
She’s a bit of an Alpha Female; being 100 lb GS mix helps in that regard.
Strong female archetype. Nice.
😉
Antibiotics.
Fuck it, I’m going deep.
Interesting twist on the toothed vagina theme
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1727252/
It is this movie.
Joy Division on, Warsaw. This place is aight. I’ll go ahead and benefit of the doubt assume the dillys were ironic or some hipster shit, not quite as bad
More Felicity
Yegads, a couple of idiots at this bar just said dilly dilly
Let me guess: there’s over 50 beers on tap, and over a hundred bottle choices from all over the world. They chose Bud Light.
Well no, it’s a cash only dive with sapporo, fat tire and something I can’t see on tap. But still.
SMOTE THEM.
Watched The Last Jedi tonight, came home looking for something funny I haven’t seen yet and settled on Toast of London, and there’s a young(er) Daisy Ridley as a stagehand acting opposite Matt Berry of IT Crowd fame.
Been meaning to give that…a shot.
/how is?
Weird, but good weird. His character is pretty much the same, which is all I wanted, really.
Spaceology!
So, yeah, all you people who told me the weather here is awful? You are all crazy bananas
You’ve been there how long?
Just wait.
Two months and there hasn’t been a single unpleasant day. This is more good weather than most of the country gets in a year. The next ten months can be crap and it’ll still be an upgrade.
Well, to be fair, I did forget to factor in where you’ve just relocated from before I opened my stupid mouth.
Carry on.
What…a light misting akin to the produce section at the grocery store? Oh my boo the fuck hoo. Oh and it “dips” briefly into the 30’s in the high hills as you sleep? Stfu.
Right?? It’s fucking fantastic here! OMFG a scarf in the mornings? THE HORROR!!
Anyone who is familiar with Bay area weather patterns (myself included) would not have been talking about winter weather, fwiw.
Again, from whence you came, I get it.
I don’t like hot humid weather in the summer, and it was August when I interviewed here. The main complaint I’ve heard seems to be consistent rain during el nino and needing a sweater occasionally in the summer. Both of which align nicely with my taste. Seems kinda Nordic, but without the super long summer days.
The two times I was in Chicago; March; fucking cold, July; fucking uncomfortably humid-hot….. I’m sure it is nice at some point, but damn. Had to wear pants there too.
Do heated seats in car bug anybody? It just don’t feel right, even when it is cold as hell.
Well, when you are waiting outside their house with no pants and oiled up it get a tad chilly.
Maybe switch to whale oil? That’s supposed to be insulating.
B-lub-ber. Fun to says. Blub-ber. Blubber.
/roods. Ro-ads.
I shoulda used bear grease; that works when I go to the woods without pants. Although howling a lot keeps one warm.
Aaron Rodgers would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Bring lozenges!
/lozzzz…enges.
It’s a good core excersize!
smgdh
Lady Shogun has no time for these shenanigans.
/lived there 10 years, and likely taking me with her in time.
You talking bout Cuba?
Like you said before; it doesn’t freeze there, it is cold if you are used to a warm climate.
http://www.intellicast.com/Local/History.aspx?location=USCA0987
I get that, context is important, but saying I would hate it with full knowledge I’m coming from Chicago is definitely ignoring context 🙂
I’m guessing people from southern climes come there in the summer expecting it to be warm or hot and it is not. From my context in December it felt great in a t-shirt, but the locals had coats on.
That sounds about right.
T-shirt WITH pants on; they didn’t let me in the first restaurant without, so I obliged, even if it inhibited my free and comfortable spirit.
You seem like an excellent utilikilt kinda guy. Then if they deny you entry just claim discrimination
That might work, plus I could use the expression “Yar be blowin’ weed smoke up me kilt ar’n’t cha?”
This has shown up before, but bears repeating given today’s theme.
Bill Murray has his needs!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=89tgpzE4qkY
In case tWBS is still around…
It was 80 degrees today in LA. If I didn’t have to work at 6, I’d have gone surfing.
Plus, there is snow in the mountains. Perfect time to do the SoCal Daily Double!
Wow. Now you’re not even trying to hide it. You really do want me to blow my brains out.
I hate you.
It’s actually supposed to be pushing 70 degrees here on Tuesday and Wednesday next week. I’m considering a quick trip down. But I have no cold water gear anymore and I suspect the surf shops down there on the island are boarded up for the season.
Plus, I’m kinda sick.
Meh. Still considering it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-66h7hHWx8Q
Foothills near Denver; high fire danger…… in mid-fucking-December.
Wow, really?
Not much snow at all. But…..
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Let it happen.
— http://www.panthers.com/news/article-2/Panthers-statement-on-internal-investigation/7f04eedd-f208-49a0-9b4c-5585bae98863
No matter how hot a woman is, some man somewhere is sick of her shit. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I do not like her. She’s hot, but also …
Sorry.
And she’s sick of his, parity!
She doesn’t even know I exist (I don’t think).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRZzUh9hcTo
Woo foar flip.
I haven’t seen a band this horny since Neutral Milk Hotel.
Counterpoint:
(also very NSFW)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If9fC9aJd-U
If you told me that the entire Bloodhound Gang catalog WASN’T ghostwritten by 4chan, I would be surprised.