Your “Imma Need To Be Drunk For This One” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Yeah, so what if we say that every night?

It doesn’t make it not true, does it?  Does it?????

DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!!!!!!

First Some Business

Many thanks to BallsofSteelandFury  for subbing in for me for TGISF last night.  I need(ed) a break from it for various reasons.  None of which matter to anyone but me.  But I do appreciate his willingness to jump in on short notice.  Not that I’d expect any differently from him.

Yes, that has two meanings.

Next week, you’ll have another guest host for your Friday night.  Am I gonna tell you who yet?  No, I am not.

But tonight,  I happen to be subbing in for the lovely and talented CervezaChicoRoberto , who is currently mobile and hoping for a good outcome in Seattle.  Which also might have two meanings.  Or even more than two, I suppose.  Depending upon how open minded Mrs ChicoRoberto is this weekend.  I’m certainly not judging.

Touchdown Seahawks?

What 2 Watch 2Nite

NHL

Dammit NHL, this is getting old.  I know there’s holidays and bowl games etc., but still.  No national games, check your locals, yada yada yada.

Full Schedule

 

NBA

  • Philly @ Denver – 9:00pmEST – TV: NBATV

Full Schedule

 

NCAAB

Top25 on TV Tonight:

  • (5)Tejas A&M @ Alabama – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
  • Lipscomb @ (14)Purdue – 8:00pmEST – TV: B1GN
  • (3)Arizona State @ (17)Arizona – 9:00pmEST – TV: PAC12N**

** Our very own Blaxabbath will be in attendance at this one.  If you see him beating up ASU’s head coach, I had nothing to do with it.

(I’ll send the money soon Blax…honest, I’m good for it.)

Full Schedule

 

NCAAF

Bowl Games all day.  The lovely and talented King Hippo  already has you covered on today’s earlier games here.

Imma talk about Wiscy/Miami for a little while now.  A very little while.

The Orange Bowl

(6)Wisconsin v (10)Miami, FL – 8:00pmEST – TV: ESPN

(Miami +6.5, o/u 45.0)

Much like USC/tOSU last night, this one features two sides which had legitimate playoff dreams.  Thus something similar could happen tonight.  Which is to say one side could show up to prove themselves, while the other will be just going thru the motions during their trip to LOLphinville.  Given what the ‘Canes did in the ACC Championship Game, which was nothing for those who have forgotten (and those South Beach assheads cost me money on that one, btw); and also considering that the ‘Canes trip to Miami isn’t exactly a vacation…ie they live there already…

Hell, I dunno.  I suspect Miami’s D will try to play for pride.  Mostly because of this ugly as hell thing…

No, I’m not calling Sheldrick Redwine ugly.  But rather, the Turnover Chain.  This is the most god awful piece of “jewelry” ever to hit the city of Miami.  And there is a lot  of god awful jewelry in Miami, trust me.

Yet they take it seriously and this will be their last shot at wearing it for this season.  Soooooooo…. I expect that they’ll be taking some “inadvisable” chances more than likely, which will cost them.  Penalties and/or blown coverages in an attempt to take that shot.  Mark my words.

Miami’s bigger problem however, is that Wisconsin’s defense is better than theirs.  It’s better than anyone they’ve faced.  Mostly because it’s the best in the country.  And they don’t rely on flash.  Wisconsin’s offense is also better, though not by much.  But I do expect them to be able to control the ground with ease and wear the ‘Canes out.

Will it be a curb stomping?  Dunno, that’s a tough call.  Mostly because it depends upon how many stupid mistakes happen early.  It could happen, and in either team’s favor.

But Wisconsin is better than their ranking, Miami is worse than theirs.  That’s the bottom line for me.  Though as I said, anything could happen in these games.

Right USC?  At least you guys still have this tho…

 

But I digress….

Personally, I wouldn’t touch this game from a betting standpoint.

But my best guess would be: Wisconsin 23, Miami 14.

Which should make a lot of white folks happy later.

BONUS: here’s a game you can play while you’re waiting for this one to start…

Where’s Waldo (in this case, Waldo is the black guys).  You see ’em?  They’re in there…

Enjoy your evening folks.

Drink heavily and don’t forget to talk about it down there in the comments.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Brick Meathook

Today on eBay I bought a 3-1/2 inch square metal plate with a round hole in it. I asked for a round hole of about 49mm diameter and they said OK. Cost me fifty bucks. If all goes according to plan, the square plate will go into a square hole and a round object will go into the round hole, but as you can see with all these variables the potential for a mix-up is pretty high.

herodotus450

Mixing SI and imperial units? That’s a paddlin’.

SonOfSpam

Lots of luck with your mancave glory hole.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought mancave glory holes were measured in milliliters.

/can’t remember the actual number of milliliters

Mr. Ayo

Telescope?

Romonobyl

Too thick to drill yourself?
That comment could really go a different direction with a little imagination.

King Hippo

/white ppl orgasm

rockingdog

Wisco scores!
Miami corners are weak rite now….

SonOfSpam

I missed it…did a minority child cry?

Senor Weaselo

White guy hurdle!

JustStopDude

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Romonobyl

Call me a wimp, but I have no desire to go out for New Year’s Eve, amateur night has no appeal to yours truly. Problem is, The Dame likes to be social more than I do, so she often likes to hang out with others for big events, and sometimes chastises me for being such a homebody. The other day I called her from work and asked her to see if she could still get reservations at a nice place very close by that throws a good party, knowing full well that they likely sold out days ago.
Much to my surprise, she wasn’t interested, mostly due to the nasty weather predicted and that her dad, who we apparently have inherited (longer story), has a cold and she wants to stay close. Can’t say I didn’t try.
Tl;dr…I tried a dick move that for the first time in the history of the Married American Male didn’t backfire explosively in my face. It will never happen again.

Brick Meathook

wimp

Romonobyl

It’s a fair cop, I did ask after all.

herodotus450

Wimp!
Now, to read the rest of Romo’s comment.

SonOfSpam

Give her the best 23 seconds of her life, you will.

SonOfSpam

Is it only my wife who looks at her watch?

SonOfSpam

You should get a watch. Lots of people have one.

SonOfSpam

Sorry. I don’t take cues very well. Especially since that incident at the gay pool hall.

Romonobyl

There have been times I would have taken you up on that offer.

Romonobyl

That was you? You have a spot on your scrotum you might want to talk to you physician about.

King Hippo

One of us! One of us!!!

SonOfSpam

wimp

JustStopDude

Like any true alcoholic, New Years is the worst fucking holiday of the year for me.

Not only are their assholes everywhere, packing your usual haunts (and any true alcoholic hides his drinking by having multiple places through the week), they even pack your shitty “its the end of the month and my tabs are getting fucking scary” sketchy places on the end of town.

On top of this, these morons are drinking to excess, in public…and there are cops everywhere.

Fuck that…just gonna have my NYE special, mouthwash and acetone.

...

New Year’s Eve is amateur hour. It’s the only night of the year I refuse to go out to drink because every place insists on having an event and I don’t want to champagne toast with a bunch of people at midnight.

SonOfSpam

Good evening, just had an important update from the Orange Bowl.

I was driving home from the store (how bout my exciting life?) listening to the game on the radio, and the color commentator said one of the Miami defenders “likes to stick his nose in the box”

I chuckled.

herodotus450

I mean, if you don’t stick your nose in the box how can you expect any reciprocal ball control?

SonOfSpam

Also, good way to check for cleanliness. Hygiene is crucial.

rockingdog

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JustStopDude

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rockingdog

Wisco making something happen!!! oh shit!!!
that was a sick catch by #6 WR on wisco.

Unsurprised

How did this end up being disappointing along with the rest of X-Men First Class?

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Unsurprised

How dare you talk about Betty Draper that way.

King Hippo

To herodotus’ query on the other thread before we all left:

1) 16-team playoff, seeded by computer, conference champs get in if they meet Top 25 computer criteria.

2) Higher seeded teams at home first two rounds (played on Fridays and Saturdays in December, around NFL schedule).

3) Semifinals as now, maybe a week later, Mondays or Friday night/Sat noon semis and Monday night final.

Perfect synchronicity with NFL playoffs, makes for gluttony of football. You still have the Bowls working around the holidays like now, they are just a little more NIT-ish.

herodotus450

(clutches pearls)
But what about end of semester exams!? When will the players study?!

rockingdog

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*airplane noises

herodotus450
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

♫…where everybody knows your name…♫

[wipes away tear]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of his aides probably told him that holding that would make his hands look big.

Unsurprised

I have never been more excited about someone getting a physical in my entire life, and that shouldn’t be so given the shit I’ve had relatives live through, but here we are.

JustStopDude

Not gonna lie….

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This is one of my secret phobias.

herodotus450

that’s what happens when you don’t keep your arms crossed smh

Senor Weaselo

3/10, didn’t feel the rhythm or the rhyme.

rockingdog

[crowded bar]

friend: what do u think about this place?

me (yelling over the music): I’M VERY UNEASY BUT TRYING TO FORCE MYSELF TO LIKE IT

-Hippo

King Hippo

Da U!!!!!!!

rockingdog

scoring points!

Unsurprised
JustStopDude

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King Hippo

Wiscy’s punter is less husky, but Sir Mix-A-Lot’s anaconda might still get ideas

Unsurprised

HAHAHA

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Gratliff

After watching multiple meh Xmen movies to kill time at the in-laws, time for a Deadpool watching that should chase the last of them away.

Unsurprised

For a second I was rooting for you when I misread killing time at the in-laws differently. I’ve been drinking.

...

Well she and her friend are leaving after a dispute over finishing the disliked beer.

King Hippo

why didn’t YOU finish it like a gentleman and buy her a different one??

Unsurprised

This is why we are here. Tonight, we get ICRM laid.

...

lol they’re gone

Her friend wouldn’t have let anything happened because she was a good friend.

Unsurprised

Fuck it. The day is young. On to the next girl.

...

I know I’ve matured as a man because 7 years ago I’d have stabbed someone to take home that girl and now I just shrug and move on.

King Hippo

oh shit, you put off the same pheromone I do. I’m sorry.

King Hippo

When in doubt, take the points. That extra hook with a conservative side like Wiscy…

rockingdog

Miami running game looks good! they up!

King Hippo

6-for-6 day, including 2 moneylines? es posible!

rockingdog

oh word! dope!

Unsurprised

Fucking A!

...

Pittsburgh Girl hates the beer she ordered but wants to take it go which you can not do in Chicago. Nevermind that you’ll get frostbite doing that.

She’s a hoot.

...

Look, purely from a looks standpoint I’d nail this girl but she’s actually kinda irritating.

King Hippo

between wee-wee and brain, we NOE who wins…

JustStopDude

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nothing like a flight delay to remind you of how much you want to be home.

...

Pittsburgh girl has a sober Chicago based friend with her who may be slight sick of her shit.

Unsurprised

Somebody find Rod a wingman, ASAP.

Senor Weaselo

Ooh, pick me! (DO NOT pick me.)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Remind me, are you single? Trying to figure out what I’m rooting for here

...

I am extremely single.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Go sloppy threesome!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lol, greatish minds

King Hippo

Fat kicker is true for Bucky Badger

Mr. Ayo

Show off. -Blair Walsh

JustStopDude

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...

My favorite version of this a Sonic the Hedgehog mashup

Senor Weaselo

Go on…

Unsurprised
...

Pittsburgh girl says y’all instead of yinz. Seems like she may be a phony. Will investigate.

King Hippo

Go #ChainGang!!

King Hippo

nope, just +6.5, resisted urge to double down w/ ML

Senor Weaselo
JustStopDude

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How was this going to play out in this guy’s head?

Mr. Ayo

Nailed it! -Blair Walsh

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, that’s the joke.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I know, just trying to drive eyeballs. Also I’m cranky.

JustStopDude

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litre_cola

Wow, that may leave a mark.

...

Pittsburgh Girl has latched on to the guy right next to her who is not me. Don’t think she’s hitting on him but he’s a dude so he’ll stay one more round.

...

She insists she is not drunk but…

litre_cola

Is she guzzling Malort yet?

...

My goal is to malört her. She was asking for Old Style earlier.

rockingdog

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litre_cola

That is why Oxipug doesnt drink and sticks to teh opiates.

Gratliff

Figured since I was wrong to wait to see Logan, I’d give X-men Apocalypse a chance. This was a mistake. That is a bad movie. Do not watch it.

Brick Meathook

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...

I’m at the Dok’s old favorite bar and a very loud but quite attractive Steelers fan is going on about being a Steelers fan.

Senor Weaselo

Something something “animate carbon rod.”

Unsurprised

Golden Tate breaking ankles is a fun gif. https://gfycat.com/DescriptiveScaredBettong

BrettFavresColonoscopy

balls mentioned it last night, but in case anyone missed it (and because it’s top of mind since I finally remembered to do it just now) here’s the link to send a gift to a kid in Puerto Rico for Three Kings Day:

https://www.toysrus.com/toys4PuertoRico

The good news is it has nothing to do with Mark Wahlberg.

herodotus450

Heh, remember when Pitt beat Miami?

JustStopDude

Man that is a lot of white people doing the Nazis salute….

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wisconsin doesn’t have a great history with “find the minority” pictures…

https://www.npr.org/2013/12/29/257765543/a-campus-more-colorful-than-reality-beware-that-college-brochure

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If it’s a UofW admissions pamphlet I’m going to be very upset.

Wakezilla

/looks at the thread’s first pic.

Sanctions or not, it’s amazing to me that the Hurricanes can’t annually recruit the best players in the country with how gorgeous and diverse their tour guides appear to be.

Unsurprised

Never underestimate the drawing power of a university that covered up child rape for half a century.

Fronkenshteen

FIRST ONE HERE!!!
/pukes
//passes out

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Great, now we have to get the clubhouse cleaned.

Eh, fuck it, we can live with the smell.

rockingdog

Ill clean it up.
I love this stuff!
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