Hey 2017,
So, let’s see how 2018 is unfold–
Dammit! It hasn’t even been a whole day yet!
NFL Notes:
- Friday announcements:
- Seahawks CB Justin Coleman wasn’t fined for his leap into the Sally Ann kettle during the Hawks-Cowboys game last week.
- Davante Adams signed a 4-year, $58 million extension with the Packers.
- Andrew Luck says he’ll be ready to go in 2018.
- This is delightful.
- It’s “Black Monday” and we discovered which teams value employees over expediency in who and how they got fired after the season ended.
- GONE!: (as of when I left Seattle Monday afternoon)
- Chuck Pagano
- Jack Del Rio
- John Fox
- Jim Caldwell
- ”RETIRED!”:
- Bruce Arians
- Dom Capers
- Dean Pees
- GONE!: (as of when I left Seattle Monday afternoon)
I spent New Year’s in Seattle, visiting my brother & his wife after going to the Seahawks home finale. It sure was nice of the team to suck just enough that I didn’t have to worry about buying playoff tickets this year.
I will note the guy one section over from me who had a sweet hand-carved Seahawks helmet.
It should be fun watching the Seahawks try to rebuild without imploding. I look forward to writing more scouting adventures with Pete Carroll & John Schneider.
Until then, I will entertain Twitter’s possible fates for Blair Walsh, who – if he was smart – just left the stadium in his uniform & never turned back.
Tonight’s sports:
- NBA:
- Raptors at Bucks – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
- NCAA:
- Football:
- Rose Bowl: Georgia vs. Oklahoma – 5:10PM | ESPN / TSN
MeteorSugar Bowl: Alabama vs. Clemson – 8:50PM | ESPN / TSN
- Men’s basketball:
- West Virginia at Kansas State – 5:00PM | ESPNU
- Texas at Iowa State – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- Southern at Texas Southern – 9:00PM | ESPNU
- Football:
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- the “Road to the Rumble” begins in earnest.
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
It’s nice that the Sugar Bowl and the “Anyone but ‘Bama!” mantra comes today, so I can get ready for the NFL playoffs & my prayers for “ANYONE BUT THE PATRIOTS!”
Let’s see…yup SEC Bowl. Thanks for nothing, Clemson.
Good luck with the ratings, ESPN. I’m sure the entire nation will tune into an SEC love-fest.
Chick Fil A wouldn’t be so friendly to the broken down motorists if they were gay or atheist, I bet.
PAWWWWLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!
What the fuck, TurboTax?
No refund?
Apparently you went to the can during the last commercial break.
Good move.
Actually yes, lol.
Now I’m afraid of what I missed.
Fortunately, I didn’t miss the can.
Really. I was hoping for something along these lines.
I was coming back on to say that this was a really good game but in the space of a minute it has turned into a debacle.
An all-SEC title game. Christ, the smug levels are going to be more of a disaster than the current cold weather in the US.
Y’all snowflakes need to learn right quick that this is TRUMP’S AMERICA!
You can luv it er GET OUT!
ESSSSS EEEEE SSSEEEEEE!!!! YEAHAW!!!
Morgan Freeman: “And so began the Great American Exodus, where the population of the United States dropped 93%.”
Left something out….
All kidding aside, it makes me laugh when I run into liberal Americans that claim they are going to expatriate out of the US because of American politics.
1) they get sticker shock when they find out what the cost of living is
2) they get sticker shock when they find out how much their income will go down
3) they find out the hard way they have zero experience and high demand skills necessary to just get a fucking work visa, let alone be allowed to immigrate
4) they fucking turn into libertarians when they find out that they still have to file for taxes when living and working overseas.
The only folks that can really afford to bug out are the 1%ers (or maybe 5%ers) and why the hell would they bother, everything is coming up Milhous for them these days.
I CALL 2018 (so far) THE END OF THE WHO’S “WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN” BECAUSE MEET THE NEW BOSS, SAME AS THE OLD BOSS.
/Somehow this year will suck more…
Honestly, for me personally….way lesser of two evils over listening to smug Clemson fans for another year.
They’re much more fun when they’re pissed off.
My son’s gf goes there so I feel obligated to root for them.
But in my heart, seeing a Jesus freak like Dabo getting clobbered by a guy who is probably Lucifer does make me smile.
I’ll rationalize Alabama’s victory by saying the state deserves an attaboy for not electing Moore.
Oooh, good call!
Oh yeah, I forgot to say what was in my head at 3 AM waiting for the bus last night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyfP4JFpAiY
Yes, it’s an interesting music choice. But I also wondered if there was a string quartet arrangement for the Icelandic hymn. You know, this one.
https://vimeo.com/125030780
For some reason, I now want a martini and to pay female employees half of their male counterparts make.
Didn’t expect Iceland to give that kind of emotion, but different strokes.
I haven’t listened to that one yet.
But the first just gave me the Mad Men vibe for some reason.
Which is not to say I didn’t like it.
I do love that genre.
Success! There is! Now I’ll just have to change it from SATB, and add bowings and I’ll have a crappily done string quartet version!
Oh for fuck’s sake.
Doing a few weeks of drying out, and I already want to drink.
You picked a great time of the year for that.
Fat guy TD!
All Hail Satan!
Dabo, can you tell us what went wrong?
Well, Jesus really let us down tonight. I dunno why. He’s been on our side all year. We even gave him a great birthday party last week. But tonight, his lack of preparation really did us in.
Jesus never did fully recover from the injuries to his hands and feet in that game against the Romans.
Don’t ever ask him to run a crossing route.
Trust me.
Well, it appears the pre-midnight lull is upon us.
I vote….
♫ SING ALONG!!!! ♫
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m2q5Fw8gwI
Or not. LOL.
DABO DABO DABO!
They’re playing Super Freak at the masquerade ball where the only two people without masks are *gasp* Batman and Catwoman.
Why wouldn’t there be? Orgies need fuel.
I feel like I have been watching college football for the last 9 hours…
LOL, inorite?
Wow. Her face grows increasingly similar to his every day (which has to be intentional as to how it began to get that way in the first place. She never needed facial cosmetic surgery before she met that bastard).
My favorite caption for this photo is “When your Sims wait for a command.”
The wax figures at Madame Tassaud’s seem to be regressing back up the uncanny valley.
Non-human skin tones tho.
Oh wait….never mind.
By “met” I assume you mean “responded to his query to her page on Eastern Brides.com”
O/U for this is 47? Guess I’ll stick around for the 2nd half so I can see some scoring.
Well, I’ll check back in the morning for the results. I’ve looked all in the couch cushions and I don’t have enough fucks to give about the second half.
Later, Taters!
Caldwell gone? Never has the sad cat photo been more appropriate.
Why would Cutler be sad? He don’t care about anything.
Different cat.
Every time that I hear about these “qb gurus” I think of the movie Love Guru. These coaches are like Mike Myers who was mildly successful then he became a guru, and what the fuck happened there. So sure get a qb guru for Truth Biscuit but they are going to suck more than you think.
This game seems like a bit of a let-down after the Bananacakes ending to the Rose Bowl.
A bit like watching My Dinner With Andre immediately after watching John Wick.
The Lord of Hell has his forces motivated tonight.
He’s excited about opportunities for the coming year.
Lawn-mowing pool-installing dude should have looked into installing central AC, would have been cheaper than a built-in swimming pool for sure.
Yeah, but have you ever tried to get hot chicks in bikinis to come over for the A/C?
(there’s also a “running Trane” joke here, but I’m too lazy)
I suppose AC would have pulled more chicks back in the 40s or 50s when it was still fairly uncommon.
Hail Satan!
Satan can’t answer your adulations right now, he’s busy on the Bama sideline. If you leave your name and a small burnt offering, he’ll get back to you in his sweet damn time.
“It’s SABAN!”
https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/948015604849573888
Josh McDaniels?! No! NO! NOOOOO!
It worked for 8 games for Denver
Who was the cooch when Tebow was there?
Jesus?
Urban
And now I see you’re talking about Denver.
Shit, and I’m not even drunk yet.
But the cooch answer still stands.
Yes, after all of that I still do not have an answer, and I am the stoner.
McDaniels drafted him, but I believe it was John Fox who actually played him
Thank you Grat.
If you were more stoned you’d have just forgotten you asked to begin with. So really, this is your fault.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh wait, I just noticed the typo.
The cooch didn’t matter bcuz he be all virginal n shit.
I’d rather have a Browns retread.
Cursed image.
Ditka selling you a box of branded shit with some pop-psychology book from Joe while both lecture you on why liberals are whiny.
Can’t wait for these fuckers to endorse Rauner getting four more years to smother Illinois’ poor to death.
No! McDaniels needs to go to the Giants
It’s like the NFL is stupid and the Chicago Bears organization is run by the dumbest of the dumb (Cleveland is just run by grifters).
Halas once referred to one of the McCaskey’s as the “dumbest motherfucker to ever walk the Earth” so…
^^^^^^^^^^
I just realized that the Chefs win yesterday with Mahomes at QB was the first game KC has won with a quarterback they drafted since 1987. 30 freaking years.
Was it the guy calling tonight’s game, Todd Blackledge?
ok, Viva time to come clean. Are you Todd Blackledge?
Did you know Todd Blackledge is a down to Earth guy and a very active philanthropist?
And apparently a commentist
According the wiki knowledge machine:
Currently, he is coaching varsity basketball at North Canton Hoover High School and the North Canton Little League 10-year-old Williamsport team.
Blackledge is also Christian, as his tweets on ESPN.com usually quote a verse from the Bible daily. He sometimes concludes these tweets by writing, “Make today a great day!”
I mean, he’s no Ahmad Rashad though.
Nah mang, I was just triggered when I saw him on the TV tonight and said to myself “Is that the same guy that sucked as QB for the Steelers back in the day?”
Okay, sometimes r/chapotraphouse is good.
I thought this one actually was in a show.
Honestly, it could’ve been and I just forgot. So I didn’t get how it was quoted.
I come up with “I MAY NOT BE” jokes all the fucking time at work, and I hate that everyone I work with is a normie and would never understand what the fuck I’m talking about.
You’ve gotta do them in the weird cadence else they don’t work.
Which would be one more fucking thing I’d have to explain
No no no. See if the cadence and tone is weird enough they just back away and leave you the Hell alone afterwards for good.
Every time I see a college player who isn’t expected to be a big draft pick, I imagine what goofy ass outfit they’ll be in when they get to NXT
Hey tWBS, did you really just eat leftover spareribs off the floor after dropping them?
Yes other tWBS, yes you did.
That shit’s too good to waste.
#5secondrule
It mighta been closer to three minutes.
I didn’t realize I’d dropped some until I came back inside.
I have to hustle to get dropped food. Oxipug has upped his game since Decilitre. He is elusive quick.
It wasn’t a public restroom floor, was it?
I’m basically a raccoon so I wondered for a moment why you even posted this.
Did Saban strip the state of Alabama of its last virgins to sacrifice before this game?
They ran out of those summoning him from Hell in the first place.
Do they import batches of virgins now, or just take the local one’s that are “saving themselves” but anal is ok?
Technical virgins count.
Just the ones Roy Moore hadn’t got to yet.
I wonder if Alabama has got their last second defeat at the hands of Clemson/Deshaun Watson last year floating around in the back of their minds.
gotta figure.
That was one of the best football moments of 2017.
There is a very real chance Jeff Sessions will be happy about a thing tonight and I can’t be having that
Well this whole playoff thing is ending up a little pointless eh?
Batman Returns is bonkers as fuck.
Sure. But how do you mean it?
http://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/batman-returns-revisited/
Before clicking did Will Leitch write that?
Mancini, though clearly inspired by Burnsy.
Oh yeah, that’s one of the few things I’ve read from upwhatever over the past couple of years
Fun Fact: Todd Blackledge was drafted as the 7th pick in the 1983 draft, behind John Elway but ahead of both Dan Marino and Jim Kelly.
I knew that but had forgotten. That pick is very “Brownsy”
These games would be better if they were on New Years Eve.
And aren’t 10 hours long
Can we put an APB on Hippo?
How much did he lose?
Recently released police sketch:
?resize=500%2C749
He stood to win $2,500+ , but I’m honestly not sure how much of that was from actual dough put in, and how much was rollover from previous week’s wins.
He did also bet Clemson, but I’m not sure the details (ATS, ML, o/u).
I don’t trust Clemson so….nooooooo.
Oh, fuck.
bow wow for the win! wooooo!
WHOOOOO!!! ESSS EEEEE SEEEE BABY!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!
Do the Dawgz get to play UCF next?
Glad that’s over.
Now I can be a UGa fan again. Even if a little poorer one.
I’ll fit right in now tho.
Domestic violence calls go up across Oklahoma tonight.
But how can you tell if all the lines are busy already?
Well ain’t that a kick in the cods.
RIP Hippo
And seamus
I’m good and so is he.
Mostly house money for both, and never bet what you can’t afford to lose.
All good.
Oh great, I can’t wait for the SEC championship next week
Cue pick 6 Fromm outta nowhere
SHAN’KHLOR, our fickle goddess, makes her presence known!
Does that make Blair Walsh her high priest or messiah?
Prophet or high priest, I’d imagine.
Awesome. No more kickers now. TD or bust, baby!
Actually, UGa can kick to win immediately.
Unless they do stupid shit like that.
Oh, scratch that. Not 3rd OT yet.
Now that Asuka and Alexa Bliss are done rolling around on the mat, I guess I can go back to watching college ball
Nice
¡Qué intercepción! ¡Ve a Georgia! ¡Esta transmisión en español es increíble!
Everyone is a base at some point.
Why is the thick girls always on the bottom?
Why is she still smiling
Endorphins in response to the pain?