[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"I, frankly, am just amazed that someone from the Patriots organization would cheat!" – Dok

Log In

Your “Ugh, Wasn’t 2017 The Worst?!” Black Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

, , ,

Hey 2017,

So, let’s see how 2018 is unfold–

  

Dammit! It hasn’t even been a whole day yet!

NFL Notes:

  • Friday announcements:
    • Seahawks CB Justin Coleman wasn’t fined for his leap into the Sally Ann kettle during the Hawks-Cowboys game last week.
    • Davante Adams signed a 4-year, $58 million extension with the Packers.
    • Andrew Luck says he’ll be ready to go in 2018.
  • This is delightful.

  • It’s “Black Monday” and we discovered which teams value employees over expediency in who and how they got fired after the season ended.
    • GONE!: (as of when I left Seattle Monday afternoon)
      • Chuck Pagano
      • Jack Del Rio
      • John Fox
      • Jim Caldwell
    • ”RETIRED!”:
      • Bruce Arians
      • Dom Capers
      • Dean Pees

I spent New Year’s in Seattle, visiting my brother & his wife after going to the Seahawks home finale. It sure was nice of the team to suck just enough that I didn’t have to worry about buying playoff tickets this year.

I will note the guy one section over from me who had a sweet hand-carved Seahawks helmet.

It should be fun watching the Seahawks  try to rebuild without imploding. I look forward to writing more scouting adventures with Pete Carroll & John Schneider.

  

Until then, I will entertain Twitter’s possible fates for Blair Walsh, who – if he was smart – just left the stadium in his uniform & never turned back.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NBA:
    • Raptors at Bucks – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
  •  NCAA:
    • Football:
      • Rose Bowl: Georgia vs. Oklahoma – 5:10PM | ESPN / TSN
      • Meteor Sugar Bowl: Alabama vs. Clemson – 8:50PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Men’s basketball:
      • West Virginia at Kansas State – 5:00PM | ESPNU
      • Texas at Iowa State – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Southern at Texas Southern – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the “Road to the Rumble” begins in earnest.

It’s nice that the Sugar Bowl and the “Anyone but ‘Bama!” mantra comes today, so I can get ready for the NFL playoffs & my prayers for “ANYONE BUT THE PATRIOTS!”

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
536 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Redshirt

Let’s see…yup SEC Bowl. Thanks for nothing, Clemson.

Good luck with the ratings, ESPN. I’m sure the entire nation will tune into an SEC love-fest.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Chick Fil A wouldn’t be so friendly to the broken down motorists if they were gay or atheist, I bet.

0
Brick Meathook

comment image

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

PAWWWWLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

0
Horatio Cornblower

What the fuck, TurboTax?

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

No refund?

1
Horatio Cornblower

Apparently you went to the can during the last commercial break.

Good move.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Actually yes, lol.
Now I’m afraid of what I missed.

Fortunately, I didn’t miss the can.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Really. I was hoping for something along these lines.comment image

2
Horatio Cornblower

I was coming back on to say that this was a really good game but in the space of a minute it has turned into a debacle.

An all-SEC title game. Christ, the smug levels are going to be more of a disaster than the current cold weather in the US.

0
JustStopDude

Y’all snowflakes need to learn right quick that this is TRUMP’S AMERICA!

You can luv it er GET OUT!

ESSSSS EEEEE SSSEEEEEE!!!! YEAHAW!!!

0
Redshirt

Morgan Freeman: “And so began the Great American Exodus, where the population of the United States dropped 93%.”

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

“And so began the Great American Exodus, where the population and IQ of the United States dropped 93%.”

Left something out….

0
JustStopDude

All kidding aside, it makes me laugh when I run into liberal Americans that claim they are going to expatriate out of the US because of American politics.

1) they get sticker shock when they find out what the cost of living is

2) they get sticker shock when they find out how much their income will go down

3) they find out the hard way they have zero experience and high demand skills necessary to just get a fucking work visa, let alone be allowed to immigrate

4) they fucking turn into libertarians when they find out that they still have to file for taxes when living and working overseas.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

The only folks that can really afford to bug out are the 1%ers (or maybe 5%ers) and why the hell would they bother, everything is coming up Milhous for them these days.

0
Senor Weaselo

I CALL 2018 (so far) THE END OF THE WHO’S “WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN” BECAUSE MEET THE NEW BOSS, SAME AS THE OLD BOSS.

/Somehow this year will suck more…

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly, for me personally….way lesser of two evils over listening to smug Clemson fans for another year.

They’re much more fun when they’re pissed off.

0
Horatio Cornblower

My son’s gf goes there so I feel obligated to root for them.

But in my heart, seeing a Jesus freak like Dabo getting clobbered by a guy who is probably Lucifer does make me smile.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll rationalize Alabama’s victory by saying the state deserves an attaboy for not electing Moore.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Oooh, good call!

0
Senor Weaselo

Oh yeah, I forgot to say what was in my head at 3 AM waiting for the bus last night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyfP4JFpAiY
Yes, it’s an interesting music choice. But I also wondered if there was a string quartet arrangement for the Icelandic hymn. You know, this one.
https://vimeo.com/125030780

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

For some reason, I now want a martini and to pay female employees half of their male counterparts make.

1
Senor Weaselo

Didn’t expect Iceland to give that kind of emotion, but different strokes.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

I haven’t listened to that one yet.
But the first just gave me the Mad Men vibe for some reason.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Which is not to say I didn’t like it.
I do love that genre.

0
Senor Weaselo

Success! There is! Now I’ll just have to change it from SATB, and add bowings and I’ll have a crappily done string quartet version!

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Oh for fuck’s sake.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Doing a few weeks of drying out, and I already want to drink.

0
Mr. Ayo

You picked a great time of the year for that.

2
Mr. Ayo

Fat guy TD!

0
Mr. Ayo

All Hail Satan!

0
WCS

comment image

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

Dabo, can you tell us what went wrong?

Well, Jesus really let us down tonight. I dunno why. He’s been on our side all year. We even gave him a great birthday party last week. But tonight, his lack of preparation really did us in.

3
Horatio Cornblower

Jesus never did fully recover from the injuries to his hands and feet in that game against the Romans.

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t ever ask him to run a crossing route.
Trust me.

4
theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, it appears the pre-midnight lull is upon us.
I vote….
♫ SING ALONG!!!! ♫

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m2q5Fw8gwI

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Or not. LOL.

0
Mr. Ayo

DABO DABO DABO!

0
Unsurprised

They’re playing Super Freak at the masquerade ball where the only two people without masks are *gasp* Batman and Catwoman.

1
WCS

comment image

3
Unsurprised

Why wouldn’t there be? Orgies need fuel.

1
JustStopDude

I feel like I have been watching college football for the last 9 hours…

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, inorite?

0
Unsurprised

Wow. Her face grows increasingly similar to his every day (which has to be intentional as to how it began to get that way in the first place. She never needed facial cosmetic surgery before she met that bastard).

comment image

0
...

My favorite caption for this photo is “When your Sims wait for a command.”

2
Unsurprised

The wax figures at Madame Tassaud’s seem to be regressing back up the uncanny valley.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Non-human skin tones tho.
Oh wait….never mind.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

By “met” I assume you mean “responded to his query to her page on Eastern Brides.com”

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

O/U for this is 47? Guess I’ll stick around for the 2nd half so I can see some scoring.

0
LemonJello

Well, I’ll check back in the morning for the results. I’ve looked all in the couch cushions and I don’t have enough fucks to give about the second half.

Later, Taters!

2
Unsurprised

Caldwell gone? Never has the sad cat photo been more appropriate.

0
litre_cola

Why would Cutler be sad? He don’t care about anything.

1
Unsurprised

Different cat.

0
litre_cola

Every time that I hear about these “qb gurus” I think of the movie Love Guru. These coaches are like Mike Myers who was mildly successful then he became a guru, and what the fuck happened there. So sure get a qb guru for Truth Biscuit but they are going to suck more than you think.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

0
LemonJello

This game seems like a bit of a let-down after the Bananacakes ending to the Rose Bowl.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

A bit like watching My Dinner With Andre immediately after watching John Wick.

2
Spur

The Lord of Hell has his forces motivated tonight.

2
Unsurprised

He’s excited about opportunities for the coming year.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Lawn-mowing pool-installing dude should have looked into installing central AC, would have been cheaper than a built-in swimming pool for sure.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, but have you ever tried to get hot chicks in bikinis to come over for the A/C?

(there’s also a “running Trane” joke here, but I’m too lazy)

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I suppose AC would have pulled more chicks back in the 40s or 50s when it was still fairly uncommon.comment image

1
Spur

Hail Satan!

0
LemonJello

Satan can’t answer your adulations right now, he’s busy on the Bama sideline. If you leave your name and a small burnt offering, he’ll get back to you in his sweet damn time.

3
Unsurprised

“It’s SABAN!”

2
...

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/948015604849573888

Josh McDaniels?! No! NO! NOOOOO!

0
Gratliff

It worked for 8 games for Denver

0
litre_cola

Who was the cooch when Tebow was there?

0
Unsurprised

Jesus?

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Urban

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

And now I see you’re talking about Denver.

Shit, and I’m not even drunk yet.

But the cooch answer still stands.

0
litre_cola

Yes, after all of that I still do not have an answer, and I am the stoner.

1
Gratliff

McDaniels drafted him, but I believe it was John Fox who actually played him

0
litre_cola

Thank you Grat.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

If you were more stoned you’d have just forgotten you asked to begin with. So really, this is your fault.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh wait, I just noticed the typo.
The cooch didn’t matter bcuz he be all virginal n shit.

0
...

I’d rather have a Browns retread.

0
...

Cursed image.

comment image

Ditka selling you a box of branded shit with some pop-psychology book from Joe while both lecture you on why liberals are whiny.

2
...

Can’t wait for these fuckers to endorse Rauner getting four more years to smother Illinois’ poor to death.

0
Spur

No! McDaniels needs to go to the Giants

0
Unsurprised

It’s like the NFL is stupid and the Chicago Bears organization is run by the dumbest of the dumb (Cleveland is just run by grifters).

3
...

Halas once referred to one of the McCaskey’s as the “dumbest motherfucker to ever walk the Earth” so…

2
Unsurprised

^^^^^^^^^^

0
WCS

I just realized that the Chefs win yesterday with Mahomes at QB was the first game KC has won with a quarterback they drafted since 1987. 30 freaking years.

4
Viva La Tabula Raza

Was it the guy calling tonight’s game, Todd Blackledge?

0
Spur

ok, Viva time to come clean. Are you Todd Blackledge?

6
herodotus450

Did you know Todd Blackledge is a down to Earth guy and a very active philanthropist?

1
litre_cola

And apparently a commentist

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

According the wiki knowledge machine:

Currently, he is coaching varsity basketball at North Canton Hoover High School and the North Canton Little League 10-year-old Williamsport team.

Blackledge is also Christian, as his tweets on ESPN.com usually quote a verse from the Bible daily. He sometimes concludes these tweets by writing, “Make today a great day!”

0
herodotus450

I mean, he’s no Ahmad Rashad though.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Nah mang, I was just triggered when I saw him on the TV tonight and said to myself “Is that the same guy that sucked as QB for the Steelers back in the day?”

0
Unsurprised

“I may not be Dale Earnhardt but, I smashed into the fuckin’ wall because I couldn’t turn left.” -Hillary Rodham Clinton

Okay, sometimes r/chapotraphouse is good.

4
...

I thought this one actually was in a show.

0
Unsurprised

Honestly, it could’ve been and I just forgot. So I didn’t get how it was quoted.

1
Gratliff

I come up with “I MAY NOT BE” jokes all the fucking time at work, and I hate that everyone I work with is a normie and would never understand what the fuck I’m talking about.

1
...

You’ve gotta do them in the weird cadence else they don’t work.

2
Gratliff

Which would be one more fucking thing I’d have to explain

0
Unsurprised

No no no. See if the cadence and tone is weird enough they just back away and leave you the Hell alone afterwards for good.

2
Gratliff

Every time I see a college player who isn’t expected to be a big draft pick, I imagine what goofy ass outfit they’ll be in when they get to NXT

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey tWBS, did you really just eat leftover spareribs off the floor after dropping them?
Yes other tWBS, yes you did.

That shit’s too good to waste.

6
Wakezilla

#5secondrule

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

It mighta been closer to three minutes.
I didn’t realize I’d dropped some until I came back inside.

1
litre_cola

I have to hustle to get dropped food. Oxipug has upped his game since Decilitre. He is elusive quick.

3
LemonJello

It wasn’t a public restroom floor, was it?

1
...

I’m basically a raccoon so I wondered for a moment why you even posted this.

5
Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

5
LemonJello

Did Saban strip the state of Alabama of its last virgins to sacrifice before this game?

0
Unsurprised

They ran out of those summoning him from Hell in the first place.

1
LemonJello

Do they import batches of virgins now, or just take the local one’s that are “saving themselves” but anal is ok?

0
Unsurprised

Technical virgins count.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Just the ones Roy Moore hadn’t got to yet.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if Alabama has got their last second defeat at the hands of Clemson/Deshaun Watson last year floating around in the back of their minds.

0
rockingdog

gotta figure.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

That was one of the best football moments of 2017.

1
Gratliff

There is a very real chance Jeff Sessions will be happy about a thing tonight and I can’t be having that

0
herodotus450

Well this whole playoff thing is ending up a little pointless eh?

0
Unsurprised

Batman Returns is bonkers as fuck.

1
Wakezilla

Sure. But how do you mean it?

0
litre_cola

Before clicking did Will Leitch write that?

0
Unsurprised

Mancini, though clearly inspired by Burnsy.

0
Wakezilla

Oh yeah, that’s one of the few things I’ve read from upwhatever over the past couple of years

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Fun Fact: Todd Blackledge was drafted as the 7th pick in the 1983 draft, behind John Elway but ahead of both Dan Marino and Jim Kelly.

3
litre_cola

I knew that but had forgotten. That pick is very “Brownsy”

0
Spur

These games would be better if they were on New Years Eve.

0
Wakezilla

And aren’t 10 hours long

0
Senor Weaselo

Can we put an APB on Hippo?

0
WCS

How much did he lose?

0
Spur

comment image

1
LemonJello

Recently released police sketch:

comment image?resize=500%2C749

5
theeWeeBabySeamus

He stood to win $2,500+ , but I’m honestly not sure how much of that was from actual dough put in, and how much was rollover from previous week’s wins.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

He did also bet Clemson, but I’m not sure the details (ATS, ML, o/u).

I don’t trust Clemson so….nooooooo.

0
Unsurprised

Oh, fuck.

0
rockingdog

comment image

bow wow for the win! wooooo!

1
JustStopDude

comment image

WHOOOOO!!! ESSS EEEEE SEEEE BABY!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do the Dawgz get to play UCF next?

4
theeWeeBabySeamus

Glad that’s over.
Now I can be a UGa fan again. Even if a little poorer one.

I’ll fit right in now tho.

3
LemonJello

Domestic violence calls go up across Oklahoma tonight.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

But how can you tell if all the lines are busy already?

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well ain’t that a kick in the cods.

0
Mr. Ayo

RIP Hippo

0
Mr. Ayo

And seamus

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m good and so is he.
Mostly house money for both, and never bet what you can’t afford to lose.

All good.

1
Mr. Ayo

Oh great, I can’t wait for the SEC championship next week

1
Wakezilla

Cue pick 6 Fromm outta nowhere

0
LemonJello

SHAN’KHLOR, our fickle goddess, makes her presence known!

2
Unsurprised

Does that make Blair Walsh her high priest or messiah?

1
LemonJello

Prophet or high priest, I’d imagine.

1
...

Awesome. No more kickers now. TD or bust, baby!

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Actually, UGa can kick to win immediately.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Unless they do stupid shit like that.

0
...

Oh, scratch that. Not 3rd OT yet.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

5
Gratliff

Now that Asuka and Alexa Bliss are done rolling around on the mat, I guess I can go back to watching college ball

1
Wakezilla

Nice

0
JustStopDude

¡Qué intercepción! ¡Ve a Georgia! ¡Esta transmisión en español es increíble!

1
Unsurprised

Everyone is a base at some point.

comment image

4
JustStopDude

Why is the thick girls always on the bottom?

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Why is she still smiling

2
Unsurprised

Endorphins in response to the pain?

0
1 2 3 4 5
536
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x