Your Yeah Right family Battle Royale Open Thread

We have DJ Taj and his New Orleans Saints going up against Yeah Right and his Minnesota Vikings for the right to go to the NFC Championship Game.

Let’s go to The Tale Of The Tape!

Cooking skills: Advantage Yeah Right

Writing while on unknown substances: Advantage DJ Taj

QB: Advantage DJ Taj

RB: Advantage DJ Taj

Defense: Advantage Yeah Right

Penis size: Draw (they are brothers,  after all)

Special Teams: Who cares?

FINAL VERDICT: It’s a classic unstoppable force meets the immovable object. The Saints offense versus the Vikings defense.

The Big Unknown for me is how Case Keenum will play in a Big Game.  If Case turns the ball over,  that will enable the Saints to work a short field and score crucial points.

The Saints defense is not that far behind the Vikings’, so this could be the key to the game.

In any case,  one thing I know is that Joe Buck will be announcing with Troy Aikman, which means it’s best to watch with the sound off. Or,  better yet, picture Troy trying to get Joe to show his tits for beads.

I bet you Dan Fouts would do it no problem.

Ok,  that’s enough of me.  To the game!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Petronel

Lookin’ good for almost 100, Millie!

King Hippo

just breathe slow

Petronel

Eek – didn’t mean it that way 🙂

Dick E. Phuck

How come the only Hollywood titles that aren’t based on pre-existing Intellectual property are bottom-of-the-barrel January titles?

fleshwound_NPG

drew might as well kill himself and get it out of the way, because the comeback starts now

Redshirt

Okay, so the Final Four QBs are Case Keenum, Blake Bortles, Nick Foles and Tom Brady.

♫ One of these things is not like the other ♫

Brick Meathook

Maybe Zimmer should quit losing things (players, games, etc)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

His eyesight…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If you’re a cornerback it must be hard to cover Diggs cause you’re always expecting him to run a dig route.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I dig that comment.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hey, Steelers fans! How ya doin’….

Oh.

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Never mind.

WCS

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Redshirt

I feel sorry for the Steelers fans for losing to Jacksonville.

But I’m in the minority. I have a feeling there is going to be a mini-baby boom in Cincinnati, with the kids named Blake, Leonard, Myles and Jackson.

Dick E. Phuck

Case Keenum is earning his promotion to district game manager.

Redshirt

Baring an epic collapse or BLEERGH manifesting himself in corporeal form to feast upon the living, Mike Zimmer will get his first playoff victory. Good for him!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Steaks marinated in a vanilla/orange vinaigrette, and sautee’d veggies.

Yes, don’t mind if I do.

...

I’m imagining how a Patriots-Vikings Super Bowl would likely kill Magary.

WCS

Played in Birdmurderdome, no less.

Brick Meathook

Meanwhile, on Bourbon Street:
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SonOfSpam

“Nailed her!”

– Blair Walsh

theeWeeBabySeamus

She spanks the way Tawmmy blocks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That’s the worst parenting I’ve ever seen. Never gonna learn nothin’ if you never make contact.”

– Adrian Peterson

Spanky Datass

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite?

– tWBS

(sorry, that’s probably not funny anymore)

Mr. Ayo

Personal foul. Contact to the head.
-Jeff Triplette

WCS

…and Drew begins his latest panic attack

SonOfSpam

I think it began about Wednesday.

King Hippo

paging Mister Winkles

LemonJello

“Winkles Motivational Methods, Inc. How may I direct your call?”
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Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

-Blair Walsh

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’ve got that permanently copied to clipboard by now I hope. LOL.

Sharkbait

Back to back kicker derp!

SonOfSpam

LOL 3 out of the 4 QBs next weekend are gonna be Foles, Keenum, and Bortles.

rockingdog

one of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn’t belong!

Gratliff

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SonOfSpam

Forgot about the greatest work of art of the 21st century.

Sharkbait

Did the saints bet the Vikings today?

Gratliff

Oh boy. This is the path to Ol’ Wall Eyes in the NFC Championship.

Brick Meathook

Meanwhile, on Bourbon Street:
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King Hippo

oh God, the ded punter has to hold on place kicks, too

blaxabbath

Sup with Zimmer’s Google glasses?

WCS

It scans the crowd, and let’s him know who to bludgeon with a crowbar next.

LemonJello

Coach doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nice timeout there by Zimmer. Give yourself a chance at the Hail Mary if he misses.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Either that or masterful troll job by Zimmer to mock Case Keenum’s arm strength.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really want to see Sean Payton lose his shit and start punching people.

Sharkbait

That would be entertaining

Gratliff

Fuck da Fuck Da Eagles girl. This is wonderful.

King Hippo

why is Troy encouraging the idea of 3? You get a touched down or you’re boned.

blaxabbath

Gotta fill HOURS of broadcast.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Here come the Saints, again”

Again?

LemonJello

I’ll take “Phrases banned by the Catholic Church” for $600, Alex.

Petronel

Too drunk to GIS, so gonna recycle this one:

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blaxabbath

I was just looking online for the big rolling toolboxes. You can drop some serious change on those bastards.

LemonJello

No lie. I am looking to get one and it’s crazy how expensive they get,

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Like, Stormy Daniels’ silence expensive?

blaxabbath

I’m sorry but that is the exactly one thing that I am sure I know nothing about.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You can probably find one cheap on Craigslist from some tweaker mechanic that needs the money for an eightball.

blaxabbath

I mean, I can get a decent two piece for $200 on craigslist. But, shit, people want a grand for some (with no tools!).

LemonJello

I don’t want to have to put it all back together.

Gratliff

What do people watch on Sunday night now?

SonOfSpam

Stormy Daniels films.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The neighbors. They leave their bedroom drapes open.

SonOfSpam

Are Bruce and Matt still in great shape?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My neighbors actually are a gay couple. Great neighbors.

WCS

So, answer the question.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Actually, the gay couple that was there (real names Brett and Matt, true story) before them was objectively sexier.

SonOfSpam

“Hey guys, I’m Rikki from next door…hate to bother you, but I don’t wanna run to the store, so could I borrow a cup of lube? Rhubarb-flavored if you have it.”

King Hippo

ahem….where’s the “u” buddy-guy?

WCS

Golf and hawkey. I’ll show myself out.

Sharkbait

I agree on the hockey. Bet $100 on the Rangers at 18-1 to win the cup when I was in Vegas.

King Hippo

paint dry

ArmedandHammered

Whatever the wife says as I have spent the day watching football.

Dick E. Phuck

If I were the Wizard I’d give him the Bubonic Plague.

SonOfSpam

Why doesn’t the wizard just take over? Lazy wizard.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“He doesn’t look lazy to us.”

– NFL scouts

King Hippo

“I bet his mom isn’t even a whore!”

Mr. Ayo

He’s already drinking warm Bud Light.

Dunstan

The Throne Room was the Pit of Misery all along!

Dunstan

George RR Martin watched these commercials and thought, “a world where even kings are forced to drink Bud Light and think it’s good? That’s way too dark.”

rockingdog

I’d turn him into an otter.

Sharkbait

Back from the West coast. Fuck the cold.

rockingdog

you bring back any goodies?

Sharkbait

If by goodies you mean lemons and pork pate, then yes.

herodotus450

[stares longingly out window at icicle]
Yeah, fuck the cold…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE REFEREES I CALL THEM BARBARA BUSH IN THAT EPISODE OF THE SIMPSONS BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT GETTING INVOLVED, GEORGE.

SonOfSpam

It was nice when she toured the Superdome and empathized with the poor people*.

*Did not happen

Brick Meathook

I liked when she built all those houses for the homeless.

/not

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think it was the Astrodome…
“And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them.”

SonOfSpam

Shit, you’re right, my bad. What a cunty display of inhumanity.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Um, hitting the guy before the ball gets there is interference.

Gratliff

Oh man. Have I been missing Breesus picks while making cheesesteaks?

blaxabbath

Are homemade cheesesteaks better than what I get at the cheesesteak store?

Gratliff

It is once you move to the midwest.

Brick Meathook

Yes, if they are made exactly the way you like them.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“No. Now get back to work.”

– Andy Reid

Dick E. Phuck

[Door Bursts Open]

Andy Reid: Did someone say Cheesesteaks?

fleshwound_NPG

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Brick Meathook

Whatever happened to the Norm MacDonald Colonel Sanders? Too edgy?

herodotus450

They cloned him, deep fried the two of them, put a Rob Riggle Col. in between them and put it up for sale.

Gratliff

The Double Down was a good meat amalgum, no matter how many years it shaved off my life.

rockingdog

yea.

Gratliff

I think the plan from the beginning was to change them constantly

SonOfSpam

Afternoon, everybody.

Watching sports while sober is weird. Not sure I like it.

blaxabbath

Yeah – I’m just too cold to do anything else (just had to turn up the heat to 73).

SonOfSpam

That’s fucked up. We got our fire-startin’ Santa Ana Winds and 80 degrees.

King Hippo

Simple formula for N’Awlins – you don’t punt the rest of the game. Period.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Not punting in a playoff game does NOT guarantee a win.”

– Kansas City Chiefs

SonOfSpam

I thought it was…

1) Flood out all the, um, undesirables.
2) Get sympathy
3) Championship

blaxabbath

PUNCH IT!

(or bomb to end zone)

King Hippo

put ’em to the sword

King Hippo

Have some balls, go!

blaxabbath

Manti Teo continuing to honor Lennay Kekua with that play.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Glad they didn’t flag that.

Dick E. Phuck

Woah, I thought Bud Grant was dead?

King Hippo

So did he.

Brick Meathook

He got better

blaxabbath

That reminds me, I need to buy a woodland camo team hat.

herodotus450

So I had a great time Jaggin’ off earlier; in unrelated news, who won the early game?

Brick Meathook

The inevitable Vikings meltdown at the end of this game is going to be devastating.

blaxabbath

That only happens outdoors.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’re a week early.

WCS

Drew’s already sharpening his knives.

rockingdog

flicked it

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s pretty impressive to tip that ball while the NO OL is giving you the Heimlich.