Don’t get me wrong-I think this will be a low-scoring, hard-fought tilt with plenty of hits and I’m all for it. What else do I be thinking? To know that we must go… TO THE GAME!
Minnesota/Philadelphia:
At long last more than a few denizens of The City of Brotherly Love will discover what it is like to throw up with a dog mask on their face. There won’t be any whips or the like involved but there could be a police baton or two making an appearance. Jason Kelce has informed the fans that there is some etiquette involved saying, “Remember, take off the mask before you spit on your buddy’s girlfriend. Manners are important!”
Injuries:
Safety Sendejo is out of concussion protocol and Adam Thielen is a go despite having ‘tiny cracks in his spine’.(?!) When you’re made of 100% grit these kinds of injuries are to be expected.
Matchup Mayhem:
Everson Griffin vs. Hal Vaitai: Hooo boy this won’t be pretty. Vaitai was ranked 47th out of 55 lineman in Pass-blocking Efficiency according to PFF. Griffin has 13 sacks so far and 61 pressures. Foles is a pocket passer that needs some protection. Does the qb have two consecutive non-Foles-ian games in him? We shall see…
Stats That Don’t Much Matter:
The Vikes have lost 5 straight NFC Championship games. They also have a 6-2 road record this year. The Eagles are giving up an average of 10.3 points per game at home since late October. Yikes. I guess it’ll come down to which qb makes the fewest mistakes. (shudders when he recalls Keenum’s ‘toss it up, see where it goes’ interception to Marcus Williams last week)
Bring your “A” game fellas and don’t forget to do your stretches!
Alshon Jeffrey is just fucking up the Vikes
I seem to have an instinctive dislike of whatever team is going to win. Is this a side effect of being a Redacteds fan, or is just cause it’s the Patriots and Eagles?
Yes
So any Browns taking a Patriots spot inn the Pro Bowl?
I’m sure the NFL had the Patroits replacements lined up in late November, at the latest.
I can not reconcile Foles’ stat line with reality. Is there any other QB that switches between All Pro and Tire Fire at the drop of a hat like this?
See: Bortles, Blake.
Him too.
Jake Jortles
– C. Keenum
Jay Cutler springs to mind
Ah, yes. This feels right.
So, apparently violinist Augustin Hadelich is part cat or something?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yIl0oKt5Ek
Iggles may want to save some of these points for the Superb Owl.
I guess all that’s left is to see if the Eagles can beat the over/under by themselves.
They’re about to.
What the fuck is going on with the Vikings D? Not just as a system, but they seem to be going out of their way to fail on each individual play
They’re a trash team that exists to give their fans hope and then shit the bed. Is this really surprising?
No that’s the Eagles
The P*ts and Eagles in the Superb Owl. The perfect storm of my seething sports-based hatred all in one convenient location.
Pray for a meteor.
It’s like the sports equivalent of getting kicked in the dick repeatedly.
I wonder if the Eagles QB will puke on the sideline or on the field.
The more you know.
BALLIN’
It is really tough being in this bar with such an erection.
The lack of pants probably isn’t helping matters any.
If it lasts more than 4 hours you may want to see a dr
– Harf Harf
Things to tweet at Goodell as the NFL delivers you football you hate:
Is it me or does Carson Wentz look like dollar store Andy Samberg?
He looks like the least addled Gronkowski.
Of course the Jags failed.
This is the Worst
Favorite NES Games, that most people forget
Master Blaster
Super Dodgeball
Life Force
Marble Madness
NARC
Operation Wolf
Blades of Steel or GTFO.
No one forgets Blades of Steel
You have a point.
Duck Hunt, I think I managed to kill the snarky dog once.
Dig Dig is fun when one is really fucking high.
But not otherwise.
Master Blaster is alive and well thanks to the Switch reboot thing. Super Dodgeball and Life Force were my shit. Marble Madness was my hell.
Marble Madness was the shit.
BUBBLE BOBBLE 4 EVER
Wizards and Warriors
Star Tropics
Ryder
Wizards and Warriors will fuck your day UP.
i hated Star Tropics
He looked like he was pontifidrinking
Oh, THAT’S what Fuck Doctors is!
The wine has mellowed me. Thankfully.
I will drink up all the Hennessey ya got on yo shelf… a wise man once said before he introduced himself
Did this sage once get busy in a Burger King bathroom?
He even had his own dance!
It’s amazing how much I actually like Philadelphia and the people who live there considering how much I dislike the Eagles
I’d turn this off, but it’s the last football I intend to watch this season, so I’m milking it for all it’s worth.
Really!? You don’t want to watch Collinsworth and the rest of the NBC crew fellate the Patriots? I’m shocked!
Next Snapchat includes the hashtag #birdgangbang
I enjoyed last weekend’s brief respite from the darkest timeline. I just wish it could have lasted a little longer.
Aww, let it stand, just for giggles
THIELEN IT
ok, teevee goes off. Lovely day indeed.
Why would Peterson challenge an incomplete call, Aikman you dumb fuck?
Should’ve taken the field goal.
That’ll be called a catch, because what is a catch?
He’s wearing the wrong uniform for that to count as a touchdown.
no TD
NAWT A CATCH
Nawt a catch.
WHAT A CATCH!
Or not. Stupid Vikings
Shit, really?
Thielen was wide open
Dumpster Fire Pumpkin mode; ENGAGE
Pokey the Hungry Hedgehog dislikes this game.
Hehehehe. He un-rounds himself for food!
I follow a Twitter account that is nothing but pictures of round animals and I suggest you do the same.
Afraid I’ll find myself on it.
Well, at least this frees up my schedule two Sundays from now.
I hope this comes back to bite them in the ass.
https://imgur.com/a/Nq9ot
This game is really going to hamper my enjoyment of tonight’s hotdish.
At least we can finally put the idea of “Case Keenum – Good NFL QB” to rest.
Here lies Case Keenum’s Good QB play:
September 2017-January 2018
I’m kinda disappointed that Peter King’s phone number doesn’t have a Wichita area code.
That’s Andy Reid phone number, which is the same phone number as a Mission BBQ.
Andy’s ring tone is the sound of a deep fryer
March Madness?
I don’t think I can survive that long plus fucking Duke or U*NC will just spoil it and win anyway so FUCK IT
THIS GAME I CALL IT MY UNCLE COOKING THE CHRISTMAS TURKEY BECAUSE IT WAS DONE A LONG TIME AGO BUT WE’RE ALL STILL SITTING HERE WATCHING IT AWAITING THE DISAPPOINTING RESULT
die in a fire, Keenum
Is Crisco flammable at high heats?
I found what I think is the right MSDS and the flash point is listed as 600F, so it should be alright.