Your Saturday Morning Lesser Footy Open thread. Now with more Wales!

Well it is my turn in the King Hippo-less rotation so shall we see what is going on in the EPL this morning?

Hmmm, nothing.

Oh lord please let it be an international break.

Everyone has always qualified for Russiya 2018 so it can’t be that.

Oh no, it is FA Cup weekend which can kind of be fun but mostly the Premier League clubs house the minnows.…… Let’s take a look see around Europe for something palatable. Hey here’s one, Valencia v Real Madrid which should be good as Valencia is ahead of Real in La Liga. Can we take a moment to laugh at Real please? They are in 4th and I am sure the Madridistas are not pleased looking up at Athleti, Valencia, and Barcelona. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Man that felt good.

What else we got? Catholic derby in Scotland where Hibs travels to Glasgow to take on Celtic. This is no Old Firm Derby however these fanbases do not like each other at all. We will chalk it up to city rivalry between Glasgow and Edinburgh. Celtic is running away with the SPL and usually it is a 2 horse race with Rangers taking part but Aberdeen is up on them by 3 points currently. I am sure that will rectify itself due to all of the money dumped in to Rangers now that they are back up.

In Italy Juventus takes on Chievo Verona. The “Old Lady” is in a battle with Napoli this year so at least there is some intrigue at the top of Serie A.

In Germany Bayern is running away with it which is not really unexpected but below them is the real battle for who gets in to the Champions League next year. There are 6 clubs within 1 point of each other so me thinks that this will come down to the wire. As Balls stated a few weeks ago German football is fantastic to watch and the crowds are nuts. Basically this is just giving me an excuse to show this Tifo again.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKSBQVWRBRE]

Alright, let’s look at the FA Cup. I do normally like the domestic cups as every club is thrown in a hat and go from there tends to make for some huge upsets a couple times a year. It is enjoyable that from time to time you get a tiny club gets through a few rounds playing other small clubs then a giant gets drawn with them and has to travel to a miniscule ground. The only one that looks like this today is Tottenham visiting Newport County who I have never heard of before. Is it better know a tiny English side time? You are damn right it is!

Newport County A.F.C. are Welsh not English. We are learning.

Nickname – The Exiles! This is better of the other ones listed on Wikipedia. I will give you the cheat notes for them to conserve your time. Founded in 1912 but reformed in 1989 due to bankruptcy. They were reformed by 400 fans and were placed below football league as punishment. They would not have been able to be in this competition if they were still way down there today. They returned to league status in 2013 and are in League 2 and sitting in 8th. The Exiles had to beat Leeds to get here in the third round and this is the 1st time they have been this far since 1979. Their rivals understandably are Cardiff City although I don’t know how often that they would meet due to being in different divisions.

Their stadium is known as Rodney Parade which is quite a good name. I always enjoy when smaller teams host these games because of the advertising along the side boards. You will not see Asian gambling sites, multinational airlines, shoe companies or really anything familiar.

Their supporters are known as the Amber Army and I really hope that they play the 311 song there but I highly doubt it. The last thing that I will saw I found was that their mascot is Spytty the Dog.

Spytty The Dog throws some moves during Yeovil Town v Newport County.

That caption was not by me but by the photographer. In all seriousness there are no superb match-ups in England today so enjoy your Saturday on the continent.

 

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEed-o8fVpM]

I know it iwill be incredibly stupid but I am so freaking excited for this on April 20th.

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litre_cola
- A pugs best friend. - Wine drinker. - Loves to use the letter U behind O. - Iggles fan, Fulham FC (Mighty Whitey) supporter, Cavalry FC Ultra. - One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse.
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scotchnaut

True Fact: The franchise Flops R Us head office is located in Durham, North Carolina.

Don T

Great post, coUla. I wanted to watch some fútbol today, but could only get “Cristiano Ronaldo: Dream Proctologist”.
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scotchnaut

True Fart:

I’ve never made a bean-less chili. I hope to rectify this today.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

*rectumfy

FTFY

Spanky Datass

I put a brisket in the presure cooker with chili spices this morining. Turned out good; shredded beef burritos tonight!
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy motherfucking hell that looks good as shit.
Even better than shit, actually.

scotchnaut

Duke ain’t handling Virginny’s D very well.

scotchnaut

Black Panther not allowed into theaters until February 16th?

#thatsraycess

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So speaking of Wales…

2 Whales, a boy whale and a girl whale, are swimming in the ocean when they see a big whaling vessel. The boy whale freaks out.

“That’s the ship that speared my father,” the boy whale says to the girl whale. “We must avenge his death. Let’s go underneath it and use our blowholes to capsize the boat.”

The girl whale agrees, so they swim underneath the ship and blow enough water to tip the boat into the ocean. As the sailors are swimming away to safety, the boy whale gets even angrier and says to the girl whale “we can’t let them get away, let’s go eat them!”

The girl whale says…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

… “look, I went along with the blow job, but I’m not swallowing the seamen.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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scotchnaut

That joke krills.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can’t baleen I laughed at that.

yeah right

Why I orca…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Everyone needs a good lamp (oil).

What are we doing?

Spanky Datass

I nearly cetacean my pants.

scotchnaut

Bennett be out-coaching Coach K.

scotchnaut

“Marvin Bagley from Duke is tall. John Bagley from Boston College was short. Can’t explain that.”

-Bill O’Reilly

herodotus450

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theeWeeBabySeamus

State Championship alive and well.
Suck it rest of Big Four.

scotchnaut

STATEY STATE STATE STATE!

King Hippo

Newport conceded very shabbily so back to my booky-book.

scotchnaut

[opens arms lovingly]

-Hippo’s Bookie

scotchnaut

“Yogurtseven on the bottom, hope on top.”

-Mitch Hedberg

King Hippo

I’m not watching…but after the ass whoopin’ at VPI earlier in the week, maybe the Holes are just dogshit?

King Hippo

Spurs put some of their good players in, still doing fuckall.

scotchnaut

You need more than a few calls to go your way in order to win at U*NC-the Wolvies have had them.

King Hippo

too bad I’m retired, would like to bet on Wahoowa today.

scotchnaut

Mr. Johnson can get to the bucket whenever he likes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There was no foul on that play.
I’m not surprised, not even complaining.
Just stating fact.

scotchnaut

It’s there for you Wolvies!

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s time for the Herb Sendek play.
Weave and heave…then lose by 10 in overtime.

blaxabbath

Where’d Herb end up?

King Hippo

Santa Clara?

blaxabbath

Man – what a great place for your last assignment.

King Hippo

Probably exactly his level, too. He’ll be mid-pack WCC, everyone will be satisfied.

blaxabbath

Good for Herb but I’m glad Hurley is here and 0-5 against CATS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, fuck that guy too. LOL.
Walk into my clinic and act like you own the fucking place my ass you little piece of shit.

Grant Hill was cool tho, fwiw.

blaxabbath

Wait – you had a run in with CBH?

theeWeeBabySeamus

The first clinic I owned/ran was in Durham. Several Duke players/former players and/or their girlfriends were clients.

blaxabbath

Fucking clinic?

I thought you were a degenerate like the rest of us?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am now. Back then I was pretending to be respectable.

theeWeeBabySeamus

HEY!!! HE’S SMRT!!! HE WENT TO CARNEGIE-MELLON DAMMIT!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup

blaxabbath

Hippo have anything on UA/UTAH?

King Hippo

nah, I have retired at least until tourney time.

scotchnaut

TIMELY 3 POINTER!!!!!

scotchnaut

Luke Maye is a very good-looking man in the 1950’s.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Does nobody but Duke practice free throws anymore????
C’mon man!!!!!!!

blaxabbath

UA – very good FT shooting team.

King Hippo

yes, how you fucked me on mah Stanford bet

blaxabbath

I told you.

King Hippo

Trees really HAD that motherfucker, though

blaxabbath

Cats play at 3:30p. It’s still January and, with a game lead, their through the hardest part of their season. ASU game will still be a trap (man, talk about meltdown) but anyone close has a harder schedule (and play each other) while UA feasts on Washington schools and home games.

The PAC-12 is absolutely atrocious this year.

King Hippo

Youse is now South Gonzaga, basically.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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blaxabbath

Mountain West maybe.

WCC is completely void of talent, outside of GU and occasionally SMU. GU is more approaching a style of training that Does not include strong competition (but lots of time to train and be coached). It’s not a different team – it’s a different approach to trying to win a title.

King Hippo

Just in terms of making your OOC mistakes, then blitzkrieging your way through Jan/Feb, nobody having any fucking clue whether you’ve actually turned anything around or not.

scotchnaut

You Wolvies stole Yogurtseven from Cuse. I hope you can live with that stain on your character.

King Hippo

I thought he was closest to going to Gonzaga or sommet

scotchnaut

Cuse was in there somewhere. I guess Wolfcoins are valued more in Turkey.

/you see, he was paid off in Wolfcoins

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmm….you’ll have to talk to my predecessor about that.

– K. Keatts

scotchnaut

Keatts’ best work was Ode To A Grecian Charles Shackleford.

/just winging it

theeWeeBabySeamus

It made me laugh so kudos to your ‘Cuse loving ass.

King Hippo

oh, I has no doubt he was compensated. Twas the way we rolled, and have rolled for some time in hoopsball. I guess being shitty has allowed us not to get caught, plus the obvs U*NC double standard…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, that won’t last long.
I still expect us to get pulled into the Adidas fiasco, fwiw.

King Hippo

New guy from Louisville, don’t expect him to be subtle. Also, my mom says she don’t want to seem RAYCESS, but his grammar is apparently worse than Sid’s….you know, the guy who didn’t file NC taxes the entire time he LIVED AND WORKED HERE (despite repeated pre-arrest warnings)…

theeWeeBabySeamus

We live with a lot of stains.
We good.

King Hippo

also, NC State hasn’t had a shred of character since James T. Valvano and Dick Sheridan (dunno his full name) left the building

scotchnaut

Meh, hiring those kinds of dudes are the only way you’ll have a chance to keep up with the Dean Smith’s and Roy William’s of the world.

King Hippo

It would help if they also had some idea how to coach and/or gain the respect of their (paid and unpaid) charges.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow that was a late whistle.
Hello, Chapel Hill.

King Hippo

I was thinking maybe “Mr. Tom’s” (Newport’s shirt sponsor) was a gay bookshop until I saw the banner ads. Guess it’s a knock-off Mars bar. Still, change one letter and it’s “the nuttiest halftime shack” and we are TOTES in business!

King Hippo

they could, Spurs don’t seem to give a tin shit

King Hippo

Whole Foods makes some tight fookin’ baklava

#WhiteGuySaturday

theeWeeBabySeamus

You damn hippie!!!!!

King Hippo

they’s in cahoots with Amazon, so I am happy to support a recluse-friendly bidness

blaxabbath

$45?

King Hippo

hee hee, the mango/spinach/kale (over apple juice) smoothie plus baklava were like #11. But this will satisfy mah food needs for the day, and I will shit magnificently

scotchnaut

Wolvies are hanging tough.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Give ’em time.

King Hippo

Newport WOO!!!!

scotchnaut

“You think Larry Nassar is bad? Gamal Abdel Nasser made us all feel so vulnerable and afraid.”

-Israel, Britain and France

scotchnaut

[makes mental note]

“Lay off the Suez Crisis jokes-they’re too edgy.”

Wakezilla

We can do better, somehow with a good Suez crisis joke

Fronkenshteen

Gorgeous photo at the top. Which stadium (?) is that?

Fronkenshteen

Amazing. Thanks!

Wakezilla

Depressing fact: Vancouver had a billionaire who was willing to pay 100% for a new stadium on the Waterfront in Vancouver, that’d look just like that, maybe even better. He was told no.

scotchnaut

Interesting Fact: Canadian billionaires always take no for an answer.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

These soccer posts make me feel like tv sitcom moms who don’t understand concepts or terms when football is on TV.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Not all sitcom moms…”

– Amy Trask

Wakezilla

Any thoughts what the XFL might do to make it watchable or different? I think getting rid of specializef kickers might be a start.

Maybe they don’t wear pads and wear rugby head gear?

The Charlottesville Klansmen is totally happening in this league,right? You know Klansmen, in honour of WWE’s Scottish wrestlers

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The concept of not being allowed to punt is solid but I can’t imagine they’ll get good enough talent for people to stay engaged unless they have an assload of money.

But Johnny Manziel should help.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or is it Johnny Manziel should get help?

Wakezilla

Manziel can’t help as he has a criminal record

scotchnaut

I’d still like to see kickers in the game but they should have a mandatory weight limit, like at least 275 pounds.

LemonJello

Injured players can’t be assisted off the field. They have to drag themselves close enough to the sideline to tag in their replacement. If they can’t make it, they stay on the field of play and that team plays a man down.

blaxabbath

It will be instantly politicized.

Oh my god – The Shield will be THE GOOD GUYS!

scotchnaut

I think for the player intros for the Superb Owl the players should state their name and the individual they were abused by.

“Tom Brady, Guidance Counselor”

“Chris Hogan, Little League Baseball Coach”

“Rob Gronkowski, “THE Nutrition Consultant”

“Brandin Cooks, School Crossing Guard”

scotchnaut

It’s noon:thirty-time to drop an ice cube in a glass and get this day started!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I might take the day off. Yesterday kicked my ass apparently.

/will likely change mind in a coupla hours

scotchnaut

“GOTTA MAINTAIN, BRO!”

/are the Wolvies getting eviscerated yet?

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s actually been a pretty good back and forth game so far.
Only the second one I’ve watched this year.

(Don’t tell Hippo, he’ll disown me)

scotchnaut

Might have to watch it because Dickie is doing Baylor/Florida.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Heels up 3 at the half, fwiw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Plus, Allie LaForce is in town. If I didn’t feel like shit I might drive to Chapel Hill and stage an abduction….errrrrr, talk to her.

scotchnaut

I’m torn-she’s obviously beautiful but her body is like a 14 year-old’s so that makes me feel pervvy.

/TMI, FTW!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who are we talking about?

– R. Moore

blaxabbath

Cool banner image. Reminds me of the old video games where they’d just put a field or banseball diamond in just some random setting. I think it was like Super Baseball 2000 for SNES than you played on different planets.

blaxabbath

2020.

There’s still time.

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Wakezilla

Major League Soccer really needs to figure shit out with their schedule. Their playoffs are longer than the Stanley Cup playoffs and goes into December. And the ridiclous part is that teams are already in training camp because the season starts in early March.

BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER RIGHT NOW BECAUSE NOTTS COUNTY JUST SCORED TO TIE THE GAME!!!!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I would love to take her to dinner.
Because she really looks like she needs to eat something.

Unsurprised

Weird, since she posts a lot of food pics (I think this is her).

https://www.instagram.com/sophiamiacova/?hl=en

theeWeeBabySeamus

The collarbones at the point of the shoulders caught my attention. I’m sure it’s just her natural body type and I do try not to ever body shame (in either direction). My bad on that. She’s fine I’m sure, I was only trying to be funny.

And I was still hungover and sad when I posted that.

She’s a very lovely girl just as she is.

Unsurprised

Anyway, yeah, MLS sucks. US Soccer sucks.

Wakezilla

Hey now, MLS isn’t that bad. It’s about to lose its competitiveness though

Wakezilla

I’m not a fan, but I think it’s pretty cool there’s a team out there older than our country. For their Legacy alone, they should be a middle of the pact Premier team.

Wakezilla

Looks like Los Batmen are going to get got by Real Madrid.

Edit: Holy shit, another reason to hate Real Madrid. Every attractive woman wearing a Real Madrid kit seems to have their image location coded so it won’t appear on here.

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Unsurprised

¡Hola!

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Unsurprised

Equal time for Barça

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Wakezilla

God damnit, I’ve entered my mid 30’s and I still haven’t figured out how much it sucks to go to bed at 2 when I have to get up at 730.

Millwall is struggling against Rochdale? Hilarious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-CDSJzx9C0

theeWeeBabySeamus

For the first time in a long time, I have an actual hangover. Either that or I’m getting sick.
I figure hangover though because even though I never did get drunk drunk, I did start drinking early yesterday and continued thru to early this morning.

I need to go find the advil and drink a shitload of water.

Wakezilla

Nothing worse than forgetting or refusing to drink water before going to bed after a long day of drinking.

Unsurprised

Why does everything suck?

LemonJello

We, as a species, don’t deserve nice things?

Don T

AHEM!
-hair dryers

LemonJello

Spytty The Dog

“Spy-titty? Sounds like my kind of team!”
-M. Trubisky

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

So how’s that pronounced? Spurter?

I have to admit, I admire them as underdogs.

scotchnaut

SHURMUR!!!!!!!

/9-23 career record but it was the Browns

ballsofsteelandfury

I was a Kickstarter backer for Super Troopers 2 and I’ve got the t-shirt to prove it! I’m just as if not more excited about this movie.

Also, is Cardiff’s mascot Swllwyy?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ooooh, does that mean I should check the mail for my t-shirt and fake moustache?