There’s going to be a lot of hours of annoying pre-game today. You’ll want to murder yoself before a ball is finally kicked. Trust me. Today isn’t about Footedballzing. You all already know that. It’s about folks who haven’t watched a game all year suddenly becoming fans on the last day of the season.
It’s annoying, I get it. But it comes down to this…..
It’s still the last game of the season. Whether we like the match up, the game or what it is that it’s become, there it is. Today is it. That’s what it’s come down to.
In all honesty, this is just a placeholder of sorts for your angst and random musings. The “Big Game” won’t get going for another 12 hours. Hopefully, there will be moar kontent to follow this during the day. But until then, say whatever you want to say here.
What are you cooking?
What are you drinking?
Who are you….hugging?
Heh heh. That’s way better than this game will be methinks.
But I digress…..
It’s the last game of the season folks. And even though most of us don’t care for the match up, we just can’t help ourselves. You know we’ll be watching.
And also….Gamblor!
Personally, after the house juice from yesterday’s college basketball, I still have just under $700 in my Gamblor! account (thank you Auburn for not fucking me completely yesterday like everyone else did) and am looking foar betting advice. So tell me your opinions….
Who should I bet? What should I bet?
If I place it well, it can pay foar “extras” during my upcoming jaunt to SoCal. Woooooo!!!!!!
Anywhooo….
Talk about whatever you want to talk about here in the early portion of the day. But have faith…Something better than this poorly thought out post should come along soon enough.
“Better” being the keyword there.
Or maybe “Bettor”.
Meh, we’ll see.
Imma start drinking now. Yes I’m serious. Yes, it’s not yet 6am here.
DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!!!!!!
–
SPURS!!!!
Yay, random black dude who ain’t Kane/Alli!!!
Damn. The CFL had some major trades this weekend. Saskatchewan’s defense may become historically incredible.
Also, lol at Manziel demanding 500k. If not for his name, I’m not sure he’d be good enough for the backup spot.
Are we sure he wasn’t thinking of 500kg? That’s probably enough Peruvian marching powder to get him through a season, right?
Yeah, but that’s only like $12.50 US.
Drew has the right idea.
Know what would make this perfect?
Broken glass and rusty tacks mixed into the glue
Don’t forget teh AIDS!!
It wouldn’t be Philadelphia without AIDS.
Seriously, the goal that the U.S. scored as the clock ticked zero at the end of the first period was total bananacakes.
Agenda: gym, store, car wash, home, drink.
none of those require pants.
You are correct sir!
“Morrow Tosses Krutov’s Salad!”
I’m not in any shape or mood to gluttonize today. I’m going to make myself go out and see a movie, but I’m not sure which yet (Leave your suggestions below).
However, at least I’m not Jason Whitlock. Fuck that guy.
Go see The Shape of Water. Not many movies left that are this uplifting. Plus violence!
“Water? Violence? Did you have difficulty breathing during the movie?” [reaches for his favourite choking belt]
-Dick Cheney
I’ve seen it twice.
Have you seen 3 Billboards? If not, do.
No I haven’t.
It’s a toss up between 3 Billboards and Shape of Water for best picture. This way you can decide for yourself.
There’s nothing about 3 Billboards that interests me.
Francis McDormand is worth it alone. She’s a goddamn force of nature.
What’s the story behind that?
Whitlock is a bloviating shithead. He used to talk mad shit about TO when he was a player and harp on how he was a terrible member of the teams he was on. So this is not only condescending but a passive-aggressive dig. Everyone who makes passive-aggressive comments needs to fucking die.
The best thing professional athletes can do to give back to their community is to drag the shit out of hack sports writers.
Only because murder is illegal.
/Avoids looking at Ray Lewis.
Even as all the Eagles drama was going on and everyone was piling on Owens, I always liked him. He may be fucking insane, but he overcame a fucked up childhood (he found out his dad lived across the street from him when he was 11 after someone explained to him that the girl he’d been hanging out with was his half-sister) to get to where he was, and is clean as a whistle outside of the locker rooms. He’s got a story where if you’ve got even a drop of empathy (asking a lot of people tbh), his story looks completely different. Very happy to see him get in. He deserves it.
Darkest Hour is fantastic. I, Tonya is pure fiction because try as they might they can’t make Margot Robbie unfuckable.
She was super fuckable with a mullet, braces in a homemade rabbit fur jacket. She’s that hot.
I don’t think I could sit through a movie about Churchill.
I saw Darkest hour yesterday and it was solid. That’s as good of a performance as I’ve seen in a long time. Compares to Daniel Day Lewis as Lincoln.
Also, I never liked TO because of how he dragged Jeff Garcia.
Getting high and watching old eps of my favorite show:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paUUkKSqa90
Hustler’s Apprentice. Episode 69. NICE
ahahahahahaha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVMUxqJ3Ab0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zi5f5Acarw
Fun fact: I took an some economics/poli sci classes in school and wrote essays referencing some of these eps. Good times!
Just wanted to share:
The Commander in Chief’s equivalent of the guy with the tiny dick buying the Ferrari?
Also good:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3kj7oso4EI
Here. We. Go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwpTj_Z9v-c
Goddamn. There are competing pre-shows 6 hours before kickoff
James Milner, like Tom Brady, is a dirty fucking cunt.
“Whoa now, let’s not say things we can’t take back.” -Dirty fucking cunts about being compared to Tom Brady
Good morning, gentlemen. Let’s start with some words of wisdom from lady snow:
“Fucking Tom Brady. I just want to punch him in the buttchin.”
You know you suck when the U.S. is funding and arming Al Qaeda to kick your ass.
I can’t help but feel that this “Miracle” movie might turn out okay for the central protagonists.
No spoilers! I don’t want to know anything before I completely ignore this movie!
The only way this movie could be better is if Kurt Russell wore smeared lipstick thru the entire playoff round.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZYgsMXHY_w
Folks.
I least i get to see the Eagles lose today…that’s cool.
Philly Pretzels! YUM?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1iOZ3YqwA8
Can you even begin to imagine how much 50 year-old puck bunny tail Mike Eruzione pulls in? The mind boggles…
Grumble grumble he’s an American hero grumble grumble
Herb Brooks would have the most no-nonsense sex you could ever want.
“Nonsense sex? You mean, like, free?”
– Eugene Robinson
“Always get consense before sex. Nonsense sex is grape!”
-E. Smith
Proper song for the day the goddamned motherfucking P*ts are gonna win their 3rd Superb Owl in 4 years (aren’t you thankful FOAR the Blessed Donks?), which hopefully you join me in betting on but no watchy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIitQNXVgb8
Thank you for introducing me to this song. I really love it.
It is a great way to start one’s morning. Also good for exercise.
Fuck you!!!!!
– C. Newton
But…not such a big deal that I’ll bend over at the waist or anything
Can anyone explain to an idiot how to attach gifs and images? Not good with computer.
Just put in the web address on the comment box. It must start with https and end in either .jpg, .png, or .gif
You just post the url in the comment. If you have touched yourself enough at night, it will work.
1) Right click to get a list of options
2) Copy image location
3) Then click paste onto here. To have a greater success rate, make sure it’s HTTPS, not http
4) Post comment
69) It should show up on here. Nice.
As much as people love to complain about the Anaheim Mighty Ducks being named after a movie, people forget the worst part. The Ducks part is short for Ducksworth, a lawyer who sent Bombay too many mixed signals in the first movie.
“Yeah, you definitely don’t want to be sending mixed signals to the bomb bay.”
– pilot in the 1961 Goldsboro B-52 incident
I thought the worst part was the cartoon.
Mighty Ducks is on Much Music. The movie didn’t age well and Gordon Bombay is a shitty coach
Goldberg would get EATEN ALIVE with his poor butterfly form in today’s league.
He was a shitty goalie back then. I think he had a save percentage of like .369
Once tape got out on him, everyone just went glove side. Historically slow glove. The worst.
No one told me that Rob Riggle hosted the NFL honors!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snMw1lMHvSA
Does he die at the end? Otherwise…no watchy
Kickoff at the Klop is underway
Humanity needs you, Spurs
and Mo Salah scores
get thy moneys in on the P*ts
“Miracle” is on Canadian Bravo. My mom and I were shopping for a new tv while the game was on back in the day.
/cool story, Bro(ten)
So I was kinda hoping that the HVAC system at the stadium would fail last night and the temperature inside the dome would be 30 or 35 degrees F at game time.
Okay, I’m here again-someone make me laugh/a drink. Either one is fine, both are preferred.
Here’s a joke, not sure about the laughing part:
Senators, Giants, Syracuse-it’s been a great year.
At least you’ve got the botched-trade-return for Karlsson to look forward to!
Let me guess… I’m going with a slightly above-average player, some money, a draft pick and two prospects that will never make the team. Sound about right?
I’m making pulled pork for this evening. I took the skin off of the pork shoulder before cooking. Is there something I can do with the skin?
Wear is as a mask; don’t forget the eye holes like I did the first time, newbie mistake.
Too bad it isn’t the belly; the nipples are great.
You could fry it and see what happens. I am only basing that off my experience that frying things usually makes them better.
Tom…
I DVR’d the one-hour cut of SBs 49 and 51 off NFL Network last night. Not sure if I should watch them before the game to get pumped up or wait till after in case “we” lose and I need cheering up.
But in order to avoid getting sucked into the 8 hours of pregame bullshit I’m gonna go out and torch my burn pile, little sacrificial offering to the football gods. 70 degrees, totally sunny and no wind is a perfect day for it… Plus, drinking.
Oooh, the New Yorker as a whole raft of SB articles. https://www.newyorker.com/ Think I’ll read up a little on that before I get the gas can out.
I maintain that the two fists coming from the air is the single greatest decision in comedic film history
Eh, I could point to a half-dozen instances in Beavis and Butt-head Do America that are better, but I like the way you think.
– 20 F here. I could use that fire. Although I think that the city would not like that.
“I can’t wait until the tide shifts and the cool thing to say about the super bowl is ‘oh I only watch it for the game, I don’t even care about the commercials.”‘
-Me in 1999
Why are there two Donatellos? Am I supposed to believe that Splinter invented some kind of [air quotes] magic cloning machine?
-Suspicious Museum Director auditing a recent cache of art.
Welp, Randy Moss is crying yet again. Guess this is just a thing now.
I laughed out loud. I admit it.
He’s just crying in tribute to that time a defensive lineman touched his old teammate Tom Brady’s shoulder pad a split second after a pass had been released, and Tom’s subsequent reaction directed at the officials.
The Golden Lovers reunion absolutely deserves tears
So it is a thing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbH_sDyWZqo
I thought I turned that webcam off.
gonna catch up on SNL and do some reading for school this morning. Then gonna have an hour nap later say around 2. Then the DRINKING BEGINS!!!!!
Holy shit! are they actually gonna do this??
I’m actually glad it was not sunny out.
well…did you make enough FOAR the whole class, Mister?
Yes, yours looks…. slightly different.
My mantra for today, knowing that there will be football on and I will not be watching it.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=QnqlsE2XfFk
Now I know how a can of green beans that lives in Andy Reid’s pantry doesn’t feel.
Almost 8; time to start.
Does Baileys count?
Same time zone as you.
It has an ABV, so yes.
Plus it’s creamy.
WOO HOO! FURNITURE SHOPPING SUNDAY!
Also laundry day.
IKEA? Jerome’s? Bob’s Discount Furniture?
The thing we’ll most likely buy is at CB2.
TB12? Rubbish.
Stop by Man City and say hi for me.
Must…not…make…Aaron…Rodgers…joke…
/bass beat thunks
Covalent Blonde has a chain of stores?
I don’t recommend trying to make a return.
The “restocking fee” will kill ya.
I myself will be watching all 12 Andy Sidaris movies today. Feels like a much better use of my time.
Here is your bet: take the Patriots moneyline for however much money you feel like throwing away.
That way, no matter the outcome, you win.
It would be pretty cool if the nation bonded together to successfully buy a Patriots loss. Or otherwise bankrupt the casinos.
I am considering doing this with my U-Dub buzzer beater winnings (at least half).
/still ain’t watching, I have a book
I AM FUCKING JACKED. This has happened only once in my adult life and fuckwit Brady stole that one the no tomato eating mother fucker.
Booze: Started with Baileys and coffee. Next will be a couple pints of cider, then will be Smoked Porter from Yellow Dog Brewing, then will be Cakebread Cabernet Sauvignon, hopefully followed by a bottle of Bollinger.
Food: Brunch at the local pub to watch teh futbol. Then baked feta, brats with mustard grilled in arctic temps, then buffalo wing nachos.
And weed. lots and lots of weed. Mostly an indica that is 14% THC to get a nice buzz.
“I too am fucking jacked.”
– LeRon Landry
“Me three!” -Kellen Winslow
Seamus, is the plan to pass out in the early afternoon and wake up for the Super Bowl? if so, that’s a great plan.
Oh you silly Canadia. You know me better than to think I have a plan.
We’ll see what happens. Or more than likely, I won’t see anything past noon.
That’s OK too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI
I’d be inclined to join in the lack of a game plan* but I’m a bit short on beer and would have to wait until noon.
*sponsored by Ben McAdoo
I “resupplied” yesterday in hopes of not having to put on pants today.
Am two vodka shots in, but hoping to do better soon.
The beer is cold…I should look into that. Oskar Blues variety pack x2.
Currently looking at Deflatriots’ moneyline, btw.
I hate betting fav moneyline, but it’s the smart play I think.
You shut your whore mouth.
Maybe throw something on the grille?
Texas Nail Gun Massacre! I haven’t seen that in years!