Does anyone else gets annoyed by those Happy Daytona Day ads?
Luckily, I’m not the only one:
Listen, today is a big day because it’s the “Official” start of the NASCAR season (even though we had two Duels on Thursday and a Clash last Sunday). The Clash was an exhibition race between drivers who were 2017 pole award winners, former Clash race winners, former Daytona 500 pole winners who competed full-time in 2017, and drivers who qualified for the 2017 Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series Playoffs. Brad Keselowski won.
The Duels were two races that were used to set the starting order for the Daytona 500 after the front row was set during qualifying last Sunday. Ryan Blaney won Duel 1 while Chase Elliot won Duel 2.
What does all that mean for today’s race?
The Daytona 500 is unlike any other race in the NASCAR calendar in that it is a race that absolutely EVERYONE wants to win yet it is a total crapshoot. There are, of course, the Big Ones inherent to plate racing.
More than that, though, one car by itself cannot win the race. Because of the high speeds, the air flow, and the draft, cars “team up” to help each other throughout the race until it is time to not help each other. That’s when chaos happens.
And that’s why the Daytona 500 is such a big deal and why, even if you’re not a redneck, it’s reflective of American society. Everyone plays nice, but at the end of the day, we are all, as Depeche Mode put it best, ultimately selfish.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtswlY4WflI
So, I invite you to do what I will. Wake up early, get your workout in, and then crack open a few beers while watching cars turn left.
Oh, and annoying as those “Crank It Up” segments on Fox are, it is still pretty damn cool to turn the volume way the fuck up and hear those engines roar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mzw22OFihj8
That’s as ‘Murrican as you can get…
Enjoy the race.
What are people watching that isn’t rednecks turning left over and over?
Fergie needs to be sent to Guantanamo.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
HOLY SHIT. Fergie doing this Star Spangled Banner was much more offensive than NFL players taking a knee.
It’s not even my fucking song and I was offended.
At least the BNL performed a serviceable version of the new gender-neutral anthem.
I vaguely recognized them and had to google current pictures of them to confirm it. One Week was 20 years ago. Why are they still allowed below the border? Shouldn’t they all be ironically co-owning/working at a Tim Horton’s somewhere in Sault Ste Marie, ON?
What race is Fergie? I need to know so I can hate her version of the anthem as a person.
Fergie just did a lounge act version of the anthem. Holy shit, it was so bad.
God, that was the Bleeding Gums Murphy version brought to life with XX chromosomes.
Trump himself is taking a knee listening to this rendition of the anthem
Like my dad used to say…
Time is precious, so waste it wisely.
So it isn’t buried, Trump will never be as bad as Reagan, who actually said that the concentration camp guards were as much victims of Nazism as the Jews. I hope he’s being boiled in piss for eternity.
EDIT: Curler tax
Ima stop you right there.
Your loss.
It would be so hard to actually be the worst president ever. He’s almost at Harding levels of overall corruption, but he’s not in “War criminal” territory yet. I see one more soft focus on W’s opinion of Trump and I might break some shit.
Don Jr. wants to meet her in the worst way.
Holy shit. It’s giant Russian Jimmy Fallon.
Who?
Sorry. I’m watching Exporting Raymond on Netflix.
Wait, is this ski jumping with snowboards? No, wait, it’s like ski aerials with snowboards. Fuck it, do the aerial with their tricks, but do it on the ski jump ramp.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G03xA3SMKo
Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I decided to become a high school teacher. Now I don’t.
https://local.theonion.com/lovecraftian-school-board-member-wants-madness-added-to-1819570587?utm_content=Main
Paging Maestro?
What?! I would never do– Ohhhh, paging… Right.
Sometimes I wonder how much food and drink i’ve been CHEATED out of because I couldn’t get the last drops or scrapes of something out of a container. You win once again, surface tension!
My broccoli and Avery IPA cheese ravioli EXPLODED last night, denying me anything other than shitty pasta without filling.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/18/sports/olympics/doping-russia-alexander-krushelnytsky.html
His incredibly attractive wife is gonna be PISSED.
Olympic Athletes from Russia suspected of DOPING???!!! What?!
🙁
Went for a hike today. Some dude on the trail was complaining his wife made him go hiking and he was going to miss Daytona. Am I a bad person if I hope he falls off the side of the mountain and breaks every bone in his body?
Encounter any talking crabs?
You went for a hike during Daytona?
I’m sure he had a radio with him though, like all us sane peotle, right BFC?
Yes. You should be hoping he breaks every bone AND tears every ligament.
Goddamn it. The Pens refuse to give up ground.
It’s pretty nice, eh?
By this time next week, Caps will be looking up at both teams. So at least we’ll have them to laugh at.
On the bright side, the Rangers were at around 90% chance of making the playoffs at New Year’s and have completely tanked since then. So at least I have that.
Who needs defense anyway?
Starting to wish I’d taken Pitt +22.5. ‘Noles are ‘Noling.
Yeah, but, Pitt can go fuck themselves.
Tell us how your really feel.
😀
Someone call my bookie…
Urbane Bingham might not be on the winning side, but he’s going to look good doin it.
I can’t find this on Bet365! I mean I have lines for Filipino Basketball but not this. Weird.
Ah, so you’re a MEMBER!
latestagecapitalism.jpg
More like “All the Presidents Minus One” Day
I refuse to recognize Grover Cleveland on two non-consecutive occasions!
Special thanks to Scary Wheat (aka Wichita State) for the $440 they just won me ($200 on a ML +220).
I’M BACK BABY!!!!!!
(shut up Rob)
😛
NOW, it’s time to quit for realsies.
Probably.
PRAISE BE TO GAMBLOR
He still owes me for the whole State of Oklahoma being bipolar.
LOL.
A special thanks be to the HOouston Cougs who destroyed the Bill Cosbys. The line was 2 when I saw it and by the time Hippo got in it was 4, perfect midmajor bad line.
Yea dude get out!
/watching X-Mensh Apocalypse:
“Jenny Lawrence is a Shiksa!”
-Professor X
I am three beers into a friend’s 40th birthday. I feel I am behind & age is playing a factor.
Question: should I order shots to level the playing field?
Go for it, Rhetorical Question Bob!
Agreed! And beat you to it.
Yay daydrinking!
Jameson never hurt anybody intentionally.
.
New Crush Alert:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fisfu8sDg2o
Her reaction to the win was outstanding.
The Scorpions must be laughing all the way to be bank. That movie looks awful.
I don’t get Fox and I am too lazy to try and find a stream.
Instead I am watching what I am fairly sure is the worst fucking documentary I have ever seen in my life.
“32 Pills: My Sister’s Suicide” is somehow has a 100% Rotten Tomatoes rating. This is the dumbest, most hackneyed, manipulative documentary I have ever seen.
It makes Michael Moore look like an objective viewer.
Found a funny:
Trump: *gives thumbs up*
Aide: Mr. President, this is a Holocaust memorial.
Trump: *respectfully rotates thumb 180 degrees*
“There were good people on both sides of the holocaust.”
-DT, probably
Little over a year ago, they actually left Jews out of the statement.
Okay, so there’s this female snowboarder that tried her hand in the Olympics Super G. She was on borrowed skis and ended up winning because she took an unorthodox line down the course. Her win was so unexpected that she failed to register what she had done after she had won. I’m linking to a Deadspin thingy because I can’t find anything on the YouTube. There’s no, “I can’t believe I did it!” There’s no, “Thank God!” There’s just, “What? The numbers don’t make any sense to me.” Check it out.
https://screengrabber.deadspin.com/how-nbc-flubbed-its-super-g-coverage-reported-the-wron-1823104438
Found something in another language. Go to 1 minute in.
Reporter: “You won!”
Ledecka: [shakes head] “Nah.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42L9mDXwZ38
Dramicka Patrick running a boring race so far…
“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXbHQtZH8dE
Since when is this evening? If the clubhouse starts doing the early bird special, imma be concerned.
The mushy chicken with stewed peas is to die for!
DO YOU KNOW HOW TIRED I AM ALL THE TIME>??? Or stoned and hungry at 4 pm?
avant garde late capitalism
https://twitter.com/indy44/status/965319602056998912
If you listen to the Daytona 500 cars go by at any one area where a microphone is located, it sounds like an automatic weapon being fired into a crowd.
THANKS DANICA!!
connor macdavid vs. nate mackinnon
good hockey game on right now, despite one team being the oilers
I wish there was a way to get the race audio on my TV while muting the announcers.
One year ESPN did an in-car camera broadcast of Jeff Gordon. Just the engine noise and his radio.
It was glorious.
find radio feed for the race and mute tv, many fans do this and it works quite well (0% chance of hearing a waltrip)
“Mah Art’s Poundin’!”
Duke/Clemson tied with 2 to go.
Clemson folding like Gaff in Blade Runner.
This is a great pull. smgdh.
“These cars are very unstable, there are a lot of drivers that are very inexperienced-[pregnant pause]”
-Race Announcer
Rangers are trash. The natural order is restored
“She looks like shit unless she gets a solid ten hours sleep.”
Somebody needs to start posting pics of, oh, I don’t know, maybe Linda Vaughn. She’s probably the best-known Miss Hurst Golden Shifter there ever was.
/it was a simpler time
re: danica
– danica loses sposnorship, ride
– announces daytona/indy double, despite not wanting to race at indy again
– still no sponsorship/ride deal during offseason
– still talking to teams/sponsors, nothing
– rumors of aaron rodgers dating surfaces
– rumors of ride/sponsor gain momentum
– tmz confirms aaron/danica dating
– godaddy announces sponsorship
– daytona/indy deals now in place
(months later…)
– danica finishes daytona/indy irrelevantly, breaks up with aaron around june
– seriously, she’s two/three tiers below olivia, why the fuck this happening other than getting danica in the news cycle again to get sponsorship
thank god danicamania is almost over…and to think i rooted for her at one point
go to hell bobby rahal, this is all your fault
been a racing fan since the womb
watch old daytona 500s (pre 2000) and also listen to them (fox crew is hot garbage, cbs crew owned)
now watch today’s shitstain
(though as soon as boogity-ass darrell waltrip retires from broadcasting, may tune in to watch it again someday)
Do drivers have a calf-centric, pre-race stretching regimen? If not, I think they should, knowing as much as I do about MACSNAR.
/speaking of being selfish, this Maria Bamford joke is very relevant to my day today
“I’ve been trying to find a way to convey to my friends and family that I love them, despite all my words and actions.”
Danica getting interviewed about dating Aaron Rodgers:
“I don’t know why people say he’s gay. He sucks my clit like a champ!”
WHY THE FUCK IS PEYTON MANNING ON MY TV SCREEN ON THE FOX TELECAST FOR THE 500!?!??