Your “At Least The 2019 Offseason Won’t Be As Bleak” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Morgan Burnett is leaving the Packers for the Steelers.
    • Just another hole to fill in while wasting Clay Matthews’ prime.
  • Ryan Grant, he of the non-elite ankle, has signed with the Colts.
    • It’s not the four-year $29 million deal the Ravens offered, but a one-year $5 million “let’s see” kind of deal.
  • Mike Pouncey is going to be centering for Philip Rivers for the next two years.
    • That’ll give him time to work on Antonio Gates’ stabbing motions.

Finally, I’m just going to use Rovell‘s introductory paragraph, because it says it all:

Charlie Ebersol, who directed a documentary on the XFL that aired last year as part of ESPN’s 30 for 30 series, announced Tuesday that his league, the Alliance of American Football, plans to debut Feb. 9, 2019, the week after Super Bowl LIII. The season will run 10 weeks and will have 50-man teams.

The probable WCW of alternative football leagues is bringing in Bill Polian as an executive to run the league, and will have Troy Polamalu overseeing the player development. Advisers to the league also will include former NFL players Hines Ward and Justin Tuck, as well as Dick Ebersol – who I assume is helping with the TV deal. CBS is contracted to show the initial game and the championship, while the rest will be available either on the CBS sports app or on the CBS Sports Network.

To talk about the money side of it, I’m going to again use Rovell verbatim, because while the guy might be a fucking blowhard, at least he gets hard over writing about money, and is more accurate these days than Ron Jeremy:

While McMahon’s league is backed by McMahon’s money, Ebersol’s league is backed by others, including former Minnesota Vikings defensive end Jared Allen, Peter Thiel’s Founders Fund and The Chernin Group, which, among other investments, owns a significant share of Barstool Sports.

Ahh – that’s why Barstool toned down the garbage in recent weeks.

There will be eight teams (cities TBA) owned by the league entity, but run locally. They will be able to protect locally-developed college players via regional drafts; they want to build the fanbases using players the cities might’ve heard of. Proposed rules include no kickoffs, a 30-second time clock, and all two-point converts. The three-point stance will be prohibited.

According to Variety, there will be integrated fantasy options with real prizes — for fans themselves and the players they root for. “In addition, the Alliance of American Football will create bonus structures for players based on wins, statistical milestones and fan engagement. It also promises players scholarships for post-secondary education for every year played in AAF along with post-football-career planning and counseling.”

Worse things have happened involving former alt-NFL owners.

They have a website.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Penguins at Islanders – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Flyers at Red Wings – 7:30PM | NBCSN
    • Devils at Sharks – 10:30PM | Sportsnet / NHLN (US)
  • NBA:
    • Raptors at Magic – 7:00PM | TSN2
    • Thunder at Celtics – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Rockets at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | TNT
  • NCAA:
    • Men’s NIT Basketball Tournament:
      • Penn State at Marquette – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Mississippi State at Louisville – 9:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM (ET/PT) | USA / Sportsnet 360 (ET only)

So, the AAF in 2019, and the XFL in 2020. CAN THEY HOLD THEIR ALL-STAR GAME WRESTLEMANIA WEEKEND?

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
196 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

So how was the chiropractor visit?

Brick Meathook

comment image
comment image
comment image
.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

WCS

comment image

Senor Weaselo

“Oh bother.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

I had an interesting thing happen to me at work today. So me and a coworker are chatting in the break area, waiting for the coffee machine to finish making the slop. He is from Ecuador. So we are chatting in Spanish. Its not weird to hear Chinese, Italian, Polish, etc from the work force.

HR just hired this new girl out of college and she was walking up the fridge. For some reason she decided to explain to us that the proper term for men/women now is LatinX, like right in the middle of our conversation. My coworker is completely confused by the term, asking her in broken English to say it again and again because he doesn’t understand what she is saying. Oh and a bonus…she cannot speak a fucking word of Spanish.

Me “He doesn’t understand because it makes no sense”

Her “Yes it does. Its a gender neutral term for…”

Me “No I get that is the point. It just doesn’t make sense to a Spanish speaker. How do you make it say…plural possessive”

She has no fucking clue what I am talking about. I finally just get frustrated and say

“This is just American slang. It doesn’t make sense to a native Spanish speaker”

Her “Oh its a popular term now in Mexico and the US”

I could not hold back my eye rolling.

I am going to get yanked into HR tomorrow morning aren’t I?

litre_cola

Nah I think you are good. She is a dumbass.

Unsurprised

Her “Oh its a popular term now in Mexico and the US”

I can assure with with 100% sincerity and veracity that this is completely false.

blaxabbath

And she’s a progressive!

Well, until five years from now when she screams “MS-13!” and pulls the lever for Ivanka because that black guy she once dated broke it off but her dad still isn’t sure about putting her back in the will.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Fuck you Steve; I’m doing my job.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Hummmmm, Steve is not in the plane.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Gratliff

The flyers are the worst shoot out team since it’s been implemented and it’s not even close, and they’ve been a good team for most of that time period.

Gratliff

That Bettman point for the Flyers was a 5% shift in flyers playoff odds. Love hockey math.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

Holy shit it just snowed like 3 inches in an hour.

It was thundering and lightening when I got home from work.

Wakezilla

15 Years After the Invasion of Iraq, it’s nice to see the Democrats voted for another Endless War in Yemen

SonOfSpam

Yeah, but they have…I dunno, poor people and sand?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Saudi’s are our buds.

JustStopDude

Its not just the Saudi’s. The Hadi government is supported by Saudi Arabia, the UAE, Senegal, Sudan, and Qatar.

That is a considerable amount of power in the global petroleum and natural gas market.

And like in Syria, the rebels aren’t exactly a collection of loveable rouges.
Ansar al-Sharia is as blood thirsty crazy as any extremist umbrella group. Then you got Al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, and a few other crazies.

The Houthis are supported, reportedly, by Iran (just to piss off the Sunnis), North Korea (to piss off the US), and Hezbollah (which pretty much supports whatever Iran does).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was being flippant. It’s even more convoluted than you suggest/ summarize.

JustStopDude

Oh god yes.

I don’t even give people shit anymore for trying to see things in black and white terms anymore. When I got out of the navy, I got a job with the US Army as an analyst in college. I’ve always been fascinated by conflicts but got completely burned out by the time I graduated with my engineering degree.

But I still follow a lot of this shit and it confuses the fuck out of me…and I have a very good grasp of the area, Islam, and the general history.

Still for my money, the most batshit crazy mother fuckers came out of the Algerian Civil War. Holy shit some of those insurgent groups were fucking evil. And the Algerian government got just as bad.

Fucking France taught them some savage techniques…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It also confuses the fuck out the experts. Too many variables that are fluid from day to day.

...

It’s great. *Five* Republicans voted no which means the only reason this passed is because Democrats and bipartisanship or some shit.

Gratliff

thesystemworks.fuck

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Facts are not in the wheelhouse.
Dipshits:
Coons (D-DE)
Cortez Masto (D-NV)
Donnelly (D-IN)
Heitkamp (D-ND)
Jones (D-AL)
Manchin (D-WV)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Nelson (D-FL)
Reed (D-RI)
Whitehouse (D-RI)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice generalization; Grouped By Vote Position
YEAs —55

Alexander (R-TN)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Blunt (R-MO)
Boozman (R-AR)
Burr (R-NC)
Capito (R-WV)
Cassidy (R-LA)
Cochran (R-MS)
Coons (D-DE)
Corker (R-TN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Cortez Masto (D-NV)
Cotton (R-AR)
Crapo (R-ID)
Cruz (R-TX)
Donnelly (D-IN)
Enzi (R-WY)
Ernst (R-IA)
Fischer (R-NE)
Flake (R-AZ)
Gardner (R-CO)
Graham (R-SC)
Grassley (R-IA)
Hatch (R-UT)
Heitkamp (D-ND)
Heller (R-NV)
Hoeven (R-ND)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johnson (R-WI)
Jones (D-AL)
Kennedy (R-LA)
Lankford (R-OK)
Manchin (D-WV)
McConnell (R-KY)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Murkowski (R-AK)
Nelson (D-FL)
Perdue (R-GA)
Portman (R-OH)
Reed (D-RI)
Risch (R-ID)
Roberts (R-KS)
Rounds (R-SD)
Rubio (R-FL)
Sasse (R-NE)
Scott (R-SC)
Shelby (R-AL)
Sullivan (R-AK)
Thune (R-SD)
Tillis (R-NC)
Toomey (R-PA)
Whitehouse (D-RI)
Wicker (R-MS)
Young (R-IN)\

NAYs —44

Baldwin (D-WI)
Bennet (D-CO)
Blumenthal (D-CT)
Booker (D-NJ)
Brown (D-OH)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Cardin (D-MD)
Carper (D-DE)
Casey (D-PA)
Collins (R-ME)
Daines (R-MT)
Duckworth (D-IL)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Gillibrand (D-NY)
Harris (D-CA)
Hassan (D-NH)
Heinrich (D-NM)
Hirono (D-HI)
Kaine (D-VA)
King (I-ME)
Klobuchar (D-MN)
Leahy (D-VT)
Lee (R-UT)
Markey (D-MA)
McCaskill (D-MO)
Merkley (D-OR)
Moran (R-KS)
Murphy (D-CT)
Murray (D-WA)
Paul (R-KY)
Peters (D-MI)
Sanders (I-VT)
Schatz (D-HI)
Schumer (D-NY)
Shaheen (D-NH)
Smith (D-MN)
Stabenow (D-MI)
Tester (D-MT)
Udall (D-NM)
Van Hollen (D-MD)
Warner (D-VA)
Warren (D-MA)
Wyden (D-OR)

Not Voting – 1

McCain (R-AZ)

King Hippo

yeah, this can’t be blamed on “the Democrats” whatsoever

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, ten of them.

King Hippo

10/49, mostly from military-dependent states or based on other local BS concerns, in all likelihood. And not like stopping this vote would stop anything from happening, in reality.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yep.

Unsurprised

“Fuck Principle.”
— The losing Democratic strategy for 35 years and counting.

Gratliff

Doug Jones: hero of the left

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He apparently voted for his constituency.

Gratliff

He should vote for one of the better ones

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry; a *portion* of his constituency.

King Hippo

yes, and he has been a much leftier vote than anyone ever could have expected from a Southern Senator. AL is heavy into the military-industrial complex.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t tell me you don’t want to do a drone strike against brown people!

King Hippo

well, it WOULD make mah dick feel bigger…

...

Gonna be great to see all this triangulation amount to shit when he’s thunderfucked out of office in 2020.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wonder how racist and bible thumping they can make his replacement.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The answer is VERY.

Gratliff

And that’s just from the Democrat side. Imagine how bad the GOP one is gonna be. Alabama politics reminds me of the Ren & Stimpy episode where Ren gets split between Good Ren (actually Indifferent Ren) and Evil Ren, and then he keeps splitting his personality into More Evil versions of the Evil half

JustStopDude

Its utterly fascinating how every country seems to want to repeat the US-Vietnam fuck up on their own terms.

It does follow my theory that the least desirable and habitable the territory, the more folks will fight for it.

Yemen is the first country predicted to run completely out of water so naturally this civil war will not end any time soon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Meh, Rwanda was too jungley.

JustStopDude

Its funny you mention Rwanda. The thing that actually fed the violence was not really whether or not you were Hutu or Tutsi, but if you were a landowner.

The justification was based on ethnic politics, but studies have shown the actual people that were targeted were landowner and the killers were primarily the people working and renting the land.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Almost as many as 70% of the Tutsi population were killed. The Tutsi was the majority in landownership at the time through previous political power. The Hutu gained a majority government at the time so it was easy to build momentum. Anywhere from 500,000–1,000,000 Rwandans were killed constituting as many as 70% of the Tutsi population.

JustStopDude

Yup…because the colonial powers, in that region, favored the Tutsi, which gave them a leg up on everyone else.

But landowning Hutu were also killed.

We see the same thing happen in Burundi, but with the Tutsi majority slaughtering the Hutu minority along with land owning Tutsi….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Point is if the motive was actually stability, saving live, and being a humanitarian like we always say we are this would have been the time and place to intervene. But that is not the case; it is very seldom the case if ever….. for anybody.

JustStopDude

I think the US unilaterally conducting peace keeping missions would be extremely problematic.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed, the spots have to be chosen wisely, which is out of the question for US policy makers. We can’t do anything without hubris in our own intelligence and capabilities unless it is a straight up conventional fight….. even then.

My intent was to question the false motives and self attributions when we do intervene, not advance the argument that we could do it effectively.

Unilaterally? We usually just drag some reluctant allies with us; that’s a “coalition”, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Although you just made me think we could have united the Tutsi and Hutu…..

against us.

Gratliff

Wow. Flyers went into full playoff mode in the third. Nice of them to spot Detroit that two period head start.

...

I can’t fucking fathom why anyone is voting for Pat Quinn for anything.

King Hippo

I can’t believe he had the balls to RUN. At least that Alexi Whatsisface took his ball and went home.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

His campaign has some merit: “I’m not a republican.” That’s about it.

SonOfSpam

Right now, that’s enough.

...

I heard Pat Quinn described once as a single man who lives alone in an efficiency apartment with only a hot plate to cook food and it’s stuck with me for years.

King Hippo

Jim Tomsula of politics, but without the wisdom or charisma?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I have an oven, so I should kick his ass.

litre_cola

Anyone want to talk about naked Zay Jones arrested?

King Hippo

He went to East Carolina. Res ipsa loquitur.

litre_cola

Wrasslin in a hallway with his brother? Seems like an odd story.

King Hippo

oh now, THAT is weird

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

So is that a real or kayfaybe concussion on Daniel Bryan?

Gratliff

They were giving him kayfabe concussions when he was going through real concussions. They can’t not be shitty about it

SonOfSpam

DO NOT CONGRATULATE is trending on Twitter and the reason could not possibly be more depressing. At the risk of being repetitive, please hurry the fuck up Mueller.

King Hippo

Hurry up and also wait, he needs a Congress that is willing to hear what the fuck he has to say, first.

SonOfSpam

I am still optimistic that we have a new (non-Pence) person in office before year-end.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t wait for Dowd and Cobb to quit. I think the history books are going to refer to Trump’s final legal team as “the Cooley All-Stars”.

King Hippo

My best case is still Speaker of the House/acting President Biden with an institutionalist Republican VP (Chuck Hagel or someone like that) as a “sanity government” to get us to 2020 and restore some faith in humanity and democracy again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Your what?

...

Doubt it and even if by some chance the Dems manage to get back both the House and Senate, they’ll find a way to avoid impeachment somehow.

...

I’d also say it’s a very good bet that if Trump is alive January 19, 2021, he will be president.

SonOfSpam

THAT is a bet I would make (against you), but let’s just hope for the best instead.

King Hippo

they need to be strategic about it. No need to play it coy. “President Pelosi” is too easy to demonize, thus the Biden strategy. Inoculates the candidates running in rural/blue collar districts, too.

Now, the rump/Trump GOP in the Senate can still refuse to convict, no matter how strong the evidence. But played RIGHT, you can make them own it in such a naked, disgusting fashion that they will be destroyed as a political force – and you really will have three functioning political parties – or one ginormous “big tent” at least for awhile in 2020.

...

Your Biden scenario makes zero sense to me and there’s no reason for the Republicans to play ball. Should Trump be ousted, Pence will appoint someone who knows the keep the quiet part quiet and they’ll find a way to run a less vulgar nativist cryptofascist in 2020/2024.

We’re screwed no matter what, basically.

SonOfSpam

No, because Pence is in as deep as Trump, so think Agnew/Nixon. If Trump goes, Pence goes first if anything.

...

I’ve not seen, heard, or read anything to suggest Pence is even toe deep in anything. I’m not even sure he and Trump speak to each other.

SonOfSpam

Manafort, the dirtiest of the dirty, selected Pence for Veep. Pence is good at playing dumb (regarding Russia), but he’s at least neck deep.

King Hippo

Anyone can run for Speaker. You announce in Sept. that he is the Dems’ candidate. Pence is in it up to his eyeballs, because he ran the transition and was a key part of the campaign, where most of the treasonous shit happened.

No point impeaching at all to get to Pence, he’s the Koch Bros. wet dream.

...

The Democrats do not have the balls to do this and will never seriously consider it.

King Hippo

I think they have the balls, I don’t know if they have the strategic vision and discipline. Moving the entire left towards one goal really is like herding cats. And we ain’t got no LBJ.

King Hippo

the Biden scenario is to get the Flakes and the Grahams on board, then slowly peel off the borderline sane people. I’m not saying it gets ENOUGH, but Biden is someone they know, and relationships mean a lot in the Senate. At some point, a wave of pressure builds and becomes too much to withstand.

...

Putting aside that the Democrats have been to date totally ineffective as opposition party because they are unwilling to violate the rules of decorum and process as well as being pathologically afraid of any polling that suggest they’ll be blamed for government fuck ups, what you’re describing is a triggering a legitimate constitutional crisis because it involves a minority party seizing control of a branch of government outside the electoral process and for once justifying the fears of every right-wing chud who thinks we’re two steps away from a dictatorship.

I’m sorry, but no Democrat and certainly not Jeff fucking Flake,whose opposition to Trump is purely performative–is going along with that.

King Hippo

No, it’s perfectly legitimate. Impeachment is inherently political, and you’ve got to make it palatable for enough semi-sane GOPers to vote for it (in the event the evidence is there to convict, which I am assuming to be the case because DUH – everything Trump does is evidence he is in Putin’s hip pocket).

Unsurprised

It’s not like that exact scenario happened less than 15 years ago.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

What is believed to be Vladimir Putin wearing a disguise, while watching President Reagan on his 1988 trip to Moscow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

Ice Rams tied with Ice Blue Bombers after two; possible first-round matchup preview.

Also, local grocery store discontinuing Sierra Nevada Hop Hunter, so yoink! for $9.97/12er.

litre_cola

Sadly The Bombers are locked in with 3rd in the Central which is most likely the Ice Vikes. Laine got hurt tonight, this is not good.

King Hippo

The guy named Jesus has 66.6% of the vote in the US House District 4 Demmycratic primary vote.

JustStopDude

Okay as someone that has struggled with the issue of long term problems involving concussions, I really want to know how the fuck Daniel Bryan grew his fucking brain back.

How does a brain lesion and seizures go away?

SonOfSpam

TB12 Water.

litre_cola

Nanobubbles and no fucking nightshades.

King Hippo

I can’t wait to shit all over a League that will lose a bunch of Peter Thiel and Barstool Sports moneys.

Sorry, Hines. NO SMIRE.

And goddamnit, Illinois, hurry up and vote out that Lipinski asshole so I can go to sleep.

Unsurprised

They’ll never lose enough money for me to care about this stupid shit.

King Hippo

A guy like Thiel, though. Losing so much as $100 probably hurts him in the gut like losing a child would to a normal human,

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh, he probably just drinks some millennial blood and feels all better.

montythisseemsstrangetome

“Don’t talk about my Tara like that.”
-Johnny Weir

...

Every race has gone to shit tonight so the Failson Lipinski is gonna win too.

King Hippo

it seems like everyone who runs there (except Barry, natch) is just some shade of awful.

Though the lady running against Lipinski seems perfectly nice.

...

The Illinois Democratic Party is probably the worst version of the party in the country.

King Hippo

it does make me feel a little better about North Cakalaky’s. Not much, but a little. Would be nice to live in CA or OR…

rockingdog

comment image

WCS

Thanks. I didn’t want to sleep this week, anyway.

SonOfSpam

It’s actually flattering.

King Hippo

I mean, only TWO CHINS??

Senor Weaselo

I gotta hand it to the Ice Giants, they’re doing a better job of properly tanking than the Woodball Giants. Put up a good fight, but every time they score to make it a one-goal game immediately give up one to make it a two-goal game.

Gratliff

Really glad Mrazek came to Philly to properly sabotage his own future.

herodotus450

He’s got five wins now though, that’s all that matters

Gratliff

Despite his best efforts

...

Guh. That shit Pritzker is probably gonna win the primary.

scotchnaut

I can’t tell you what Lady Dynamite is about/trying to accomplish but if you have ever giggled at a Maria Bamford joke/like off-beat humour, this might be a thing for you.

herodotus450

Some day in the far future Bamford, Tig Notaro, and Cameron Esposito will all collapse into each other forming some kind of galactic lesbian.

Unsurprised

I never got around to watching the second season. Then again, I haven’t even gotten around to watching this week’s Counterpart yet.

litre_cola

I do miss NFL Europe, that was always a good time. Sweet uniforms too.

...

The NFL could use a team called the Dragons.

Unsurprised

One last thing: Captain Caveman himself has an op-ed piece on the Times’s website.

15 Years Ago, I Helped Start a War That Hasn’t Ended

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/20/magazine/iraq-war-invasion-15-years.html

Unsurprised

The Onion has been sincere for a long fucking time.

This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t

https://www.theonion.com/this-war-will-destabilize-the-entire-mideast-region-and-1819594296

rockingdog

Good funny!

Unsurprised

As if anyone in Silicon Valley would ever be this self-aware, let alone honest.

Mark Zuckerberg: ‘You Should Be Grateful All Your Incessant Oversharing Online Is Actually Worth Something’

https://www.theonion.com/mark-zuckerberg-you-should-be-grateful-all-your-inces-1823936830

scotchnaut

Is political humour dying a slow death under the current Presidency? Blurf, I hope not but I have my doubts…

...

Yup. Without subtext to exploit, there’s basically no fertile ground for humor. You can’t parody a parody.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s not true we still find ways to make fun of the Cleveland Browns.

Senor Weaselo

Who, interestingly enough, parody parity.

Gratliff

I mean, what are they supposed to do? He writes better Onion headlines than the Onion does.

Unsurprised

Are you kidding? There are more things to mock than ever. It’s almost as good as the Bush era.

...

That’s not making humor, that’s just pointing at the farce around us and acknowledging it.

There’s no real good political humor being created right now because you can’t exaggerate what’s already an exaggeration.

King Hippo

yeah, and with Dubya it was kind of buffoonish at times, at least. This is nonstop Nazi-level terrifying.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

With GWB it was only Iraqi and Afghans who were dying. Unless you count the thousands of American soldiers, of course. And the thousands of Americans who died on 9/11. And the thousands of Americans who died in Katrina.

King Hippo

fair point! But Christ, somehow it felt less existential

SonOfSpam

Never thought it could be worse than that stupid child. And here we are.

But I still remember talking to a friend on St Patrick’s Day in 2003, just in shock, saying things like “We’re about to start a war for NO FUCKING REASON. Aren’t we supposed to be the good guys???” Ah, memories.

...

Bought all my Cubs tickets for the year. I get the honor and privilege of seeing the great city of Cleveland this year.

Gratliff

Daniel Bryan already crying mid-promo. So many feels.

rockingdog

found a funny:

hear me out…

…lasagna-flavoured cologne

not lasagna-scented, i said flavoured

*licks wrists*

rockingdog
scotchnaut

/record scratch

As an old bird, I despise the fact that trailers are their own thing. Reader’s Digest should sue the concept for copyright infringement.

...

Illinois elections are so bleak

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Vote Renato!

SonOfSpam

“It’s-a me!!!”

SonOfSpam

(But seriously…vote Renato)

SonOfSpam

Renato ain’t getting 4%. So…go Raoul!

...

Raoul will probably win.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I might have scored the trifecta here. I’m so proud of me.

Illinois elections are so bleak
Illinois elections are so bleak
Illinois erections are so bleak

/takes bow
//falls over

...

That last one isn’t true. My erections are inspiring and uplifting.

Brick Meathook

comment image
comment image
comment image
.

SonOfSpam

Theme song: The Pixies “Where Is My Bike?”

Wakezilla

“Alliance of American Football”

Sounds like a white supremacist league. What’s the over/under of Jerral trying to move the Cowboys to this league in 5 years, after his next sex scandal?

SonOfSpam

Does sound vaguely Football Uber Alles.

“You watch, my boy Shane Buechele’s gonna be a GODDAMN STAR YEE-HAW I AM FUCKING CRAZY!!!”

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I, for one, would absolutely love to see the AAF come to San Diego. I mean, I would never want to run into Charlie Ebersol, because he looks like a cross between James Franco and Seth MacFarlane and my fists are incapable of resisting douchiness of that magnitude, but I’d definitely support the team.

comment image

Gratliff

Hoo boy, did wings fans abandon their team in a hurry. Good thing the Wings conned Michigan out of that sweet, sweet tax payer money for the arena first.

Wakezilla

What’s the economy like? I remember 10years ago, back when the Wings were good, they couldn’t sell out the arena, but they weren’t worried because the ratings were high

Gratliff

I mean, it’s still Detroit. Maybe not the post apocalyptic wasteland it was in the early oughts, but still not as far removed from Judge Dredd as they’d probably like

WCS

Somewhere between Clarence Boddicker and New York City in the 1970s.

Gratliff

They did a hell of a job reducing hockey games to around 2.5 hours and the end result seems to be that every game starts 30 minutes later than it’s supposed to

litre_cola

HONOUR THE FLAG GODDAMMIT!, or Phyllis who has worked in the front office for 21 years.

theeWeeBabySeamus

WLAF or GTFO.
Cleveland, you ain’t got nuthin’ on us!!!!!!!!!!!
comment image
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raleigh%E2%80%93Durham_Skyhawks

scotchnaut

Someone spends a fair bit of time on the Sirius First Wave channel because he likes listening to ‘the oldies’. This someone has come across a band and tune that he really likes that he had never heard before. I give you The Godfathers-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO5dcW0P75M

scotchnaut

That geetar fella really nailed this tune. Great riff.

Brick Meathook

As a professional financial advisor, I have to recommend this new league as a “buy” based on the involvement of Jared Allen alone. Why, I remember when he added some ExxonMobil stock to his 401k and the price of XOM jumped 12% on the news.

Brick Meathook

CORRECTION: Sorry, I made a little error there. It was Warren Buffett not Jared Allen, and it was the BNSF Railroad, which he bought in its entirety and folded into Berkshire Hathaway. I apologize for the mis-statement.

WCS

Common mistake.

scotchnaut

Question: Why is Syracuse hated so much by the average ball fan? I see it thru the lens of fan sites so I’m curious. Is it because Boeheim is touted as a great coach but has only won one champeenship? Is it the nose-picking? Is it because the ‘gimmicky’ 2-3 zone gives them a perceived unfair advantage? Is it because they win ugly?

/replies of ‘yes’ are strongly discouraged because it’s the easiest joke on the net right now

WCS

Well, as a WVU grad, who got to spend the Aughts and first half of this decade, watching Syracuse kick the shit out of my team every year, I think it’s pretty obvious on my end.

Brick Meathook

Ayatollah Khomeini was a huge Syracuse fan, as was Pol Pot. I think that has something to do with it.

scotchnaut

As a Cuse hater and given your past history, I figured you’d post a pic of a malfunctioning air conditioner…

Brick Meathook

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t hate ‘Cuse.
But I do wish they’d field a fucking baseball team we could pound on for a few years before they got better than us.

Seriously ‘Cuse….Baseball. Just do it. You’re in the ACC now baby. Recruiting works for itself. Just ask BC. No, wait….don’t ask BC. Just ask ummmmm…..Pitt? Aw shit. Never mind ‘Cuse….carry on.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOUISVILLE ASK LOUISVILLE!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

But you might have to wait a while if you wanna ask Louisville.
There’s a long line of folkes waiting to axe Louisville some questions.

scotchnaut

I snorted.

SonOfSpam

“Long as I can answer in under six seconds.”

Senor Weaselo

Because “New York City’s Team” shouldn’t be a 4-hour drive away and in central New York? You can have upstate, sure, who cares about them?

rockingdog

Shit. Another storm heading my way here in New England. Whatever.

comment image

Gratliff

The best wrestler in the world at the time of his last match, Daniel Bryan, is cleared to wrestle again. Please don’t die, Daniel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsX1ATcyQxU

Unsurprised

[Dies]