Your Saturday Morning Draft Continues Open Thread

To Lemonjello’s relief,  we are not talking fútbol this morning.  Not while the draft is on.

We can discuss last night’s selections and today’s choices.  That last sentence could apply to food,  drinks,  sexual partners,  or draft picks.

YOU MAKE THE CALL!

In the meantime,  I want you bring this important and hilarious exchange to your attention.

SonOfSpam

I joked below about Pence being a Friend of Dorothy; however, I am drinking a beer (bought by my wife, to be fair) called Shock Top Ruby Fresh Grapefruit. Feel a little like watching Bravo and dishing about the bitches at the office.

litre_cola

I can’t believe Corrine did that in the break room.

SonOfSpam

Right? She’s such a whore.

litre_cola

Why does she even try to wear stripes?

SonOfSpam

Oh THANK YOU. She looked like a zebra that blows Ron even though Ron can’t EVEN get her promoted, and he’s never leaving his wife and I’ll bet his penis smells like okra.

litre_cola

This wine is delicious by the way. Do you know who else is delicious? Todd. Todd from Sales. I would destroy him.

SonOfSpam

GURRRRRLLL? You best renew that Valtrex prescription. That Todd gets around and gets more ass than that bench on the Disneyland Carousel.

litre_cola

But he said I was different. We are having brunch at cheesecake factory on Sunday. That sonavabitch. Kidding, I will probably still fuck him. I am such a whore.
More grapefruit beer?

SonOfSpam

Please and thank you. And go ahead and get that D, just don’t come cryin to me when he brings Stacy flowers next Monday and doesn’t look you in the eye, mmmkay? And you DON’T have to give up the butt just because he buys Popeye’s.

litre_cola

Popeyes? Oh hell no, he is taking me to Olive Garden. I need to get my breadsticks. Did you see Rhonda’s new man? He totally looks like a cross between Pierce Brosnan and Shrek.

SonOfSpam

Mm hmm. Rhonda’s lucky if she gets Shrek’s retarded nephew; that bitch couldn’t count to ten if you spotted her one through nine. You get that Olive Garden, but if he tries to talk you into the All You Can Eat Pasta, you take that bamboo wine and run.

 

litre_cola

How did that bottle get finished so fast? Does it have a hole in the bottom? Ha ha ha. Listen what are you doing talking to Daryl again on facetime? You know he just wants a place to live! I don’t trust him.

God,  I love you guys! Enjoy the morning!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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scotchnaut

Justin Watson:

Biggest Strength-gorgeous blue eyes

Biggest Weakness-drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon

scotchnaut

Hmmmm….

theeWeeBabySeamus

Seconded.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve just downed 3 vodka shots inside of 20 minutes.
My plan is to get Rickety-Rickety Wreck’d Sonnnnnn!!!!!
Soooo…what’s going on around here?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFDZWO_gyFk

scotchnaut

It’s like a ghost town without your love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hApnqQc59Y0

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit. Now I’ll be listening to Cheap Trick all damned day probably.
Thanks for that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3J8rg1urHE

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bun E. Carlos is one cool mofo, btw.

SonOfSpam

So the C-Hox draft Shaquem Griffin, and he’ll join his twin brother Shaquill who they drafted last season. Wanna say something snarky, but just can’t. This is a terrific story, and I’ll be rooting for two (and only two) Seattle players this season.

King Hippo

thumbs up!

/well, thumb

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehehe.
Ahem….
I’M NOT LAUGHING….YOU’RE LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!

scotchnaut

Even Better News?

Shaquem and Shaquill are in talks to star in a “Kazaam” re-boot!

King Hippo

situation developing, as FC Luzern are on top of Young Boys!

scotchnaut

“What channel?”

-Priests everywhere

scotchnaut

Raiders take a flyer on an iffy fella?

Brick Meathook

Hey I’m sitting in a Costco commenting on a dick-joke blog about sitting in a Costco commenting on a dick-joke blog.

scotchnaut

“You. You get it.” [shakes his head, slow claps]

-Freddy Nietzsche

scotchnaut

“Kinda sick and tired of no one knowing about “The Eternal Return” and its implications.”

-F.N.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Get yourself a 3 pack of Kirkland Blue Jeans. Treat yourself.

Brick Meathook

Close! I bought two pairs of cotton athletic shorts because I deserve nice things.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shoulda gone with the ones that have built in underpants. When in doubt, always go with built in underpants.

Wakezilla

That’s good that youre there. The dick jokes come in larger quantities.

King Hippo

there went the wolven run

scotchnaut

Ito “The Judge” Smith

SonOfSpam

“Jordan Whitehead, here’s a guy on tape who really POPS.”

Don T

He’s not reactive on the field, but rather Proacti
/??

scotchnaut

Kenny Young:

Biggest Strength-hates cats

Biggest Weakness-anything by Ann Geddes

scotchnaut

Will Dissly:

Biggest Strength-run/pass blocking

Biggest Weakness: can’t catch a thrown fish

scotchnaut

“With the kumquat pick, the Cowboys pick defensive end Purple Monkey Dishwasher!”

-Gil Brandt

SonOfSpam

Nice of Jerry to reanimate the corpse of Gil Brandt to make that pick.

SonOfSpam

Kinda fucked up that Shaqueem Griffin is still available, and the Lions just picked a guy named Hand.

scotchnaut

“smgdh”

-Alison Morrissette

Fronkenshteen

Well, it’s time to take a big sip of coffee and catch up on yesterday’s news:

While meeting with the athletes at the White House on Friday for a photo-op, the president blurted, “What happened with the Paralympics was so incredible and so inspiring to me. And I watched — it’s a little tough to watch too much, but I watched as much as I could.”

scotchnaut

DaeSean Hamilton:

Biggest Strength-good route runner

Biggest Weakness-contrary to advice, chases waterfalls

Fronkenshteen

For me, the worst part about not drinking on weekends is if someone calls out “sick” and the restaurant needs me, my #1 excuse is gone: “Sorry, man. I would, but I’ve been boozing all day”.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, you can still use the excuse.

scotchnaut

Mark Walton:

Biggest Strength-quick first cut

Biggest Weakness: Taylor Swift’s country phase

scotchnaut

Brian Allen:

Biggest Strength-great run blocker

Biggest Weakness-pyjamas that have cats on them

Horatio Cornblower

Going to Fenway Pahk today.

Anyone know how to talk to white people?

scotchnaut

Being polite while letting the other person know that I have a bag of milk tucked in my pants usually does the trick for me.

SonOfSpam

Maintain eye contact and speak in a clear, firm voice. Meals are frequently verbs in their language, and pillows/towels are frequently not utilized as intended.

Don T

Talk down to them. If uppity, start gesturing aggressively. You’ll be in the clear, but the COINTELPRO survillance will increase.

scotchnaut

Troy Apke:

Biggest Strength-ball hawk

Biggest Weakness-Harry Potter fan fiction

scotchnaut

Kyle Lauletta:

Biggest Strength-good feet

Biggest Weakness-Rainbow stripe suspenders

scotchnaut

Chris Herndon:

Biggest Strength-finds the end zone

Biggest Weakness-Blondes with fake tits

scotchnaut

Josey Jewell:

Biggest Strength-Gritty

Biggest Weakness- watches Chris Elliot’s work on David Letterman more than game film

scotchnaut

Antonio Callaway:

Biggest Strength-First round talent

Biggest Weakness- Planters Dry-Roasted Peanuts

King Hippo

Hines gone to Humps. They could use his speed.

King Hippo

Steve Grogan isn’t ded? WHO KNEW??

scotchnaut

/Let’s go live to the Cleveland Browns “Kerfuffle Room”

“Hey! Who reheated fish in the microwave?”

scotchnaut

Curling? Minnesota thinks it’s Canada.

scotchnaut
scotchnaut

“NFL Draft, huh?”

[stops editing the second draft of his zit-popping manifesto/blog, cracks open beer]

King Hippo

Donks have 2 picks in first 13 today, hoping for 2 OL and/or 2 wolven sort.

scotchnaut

There’s an rb from there that I know of who is still on the board. Who else?

King Hippo

J-Sam – excellent Swiss Army Knife player, who could be an interesting receiving TE and complement to Jake Butt. Would become instant fan favourite.

Kentavius Street – Monster athlete with f-cked up knee. 5th round flier? May need to redshirt, like Butt.

Nyheim Hines – Track star (the RB you have heard of) who projects as kick returner and slot WR. If there in the 5th, an interesting option. Incredible straight line speed, and it plays in pads.

Will Richardson – At minimum, should be a swing tackle at the NFL level. Easily the most talented OT left. Has had discipline issues, but Doeren is a hardass, and he wouldn’t have gotten back on the team if he wasn’t doing what he needed to get back on track.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m really gonna miss Hines and Samuels. Fun fellows to watch.

King Hippo

yeah, you can see why we gon’ suck in 2019…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup. Good thing DD overachieved this year and got he extension.

King Hippo

apparently this is “no handball” week in the Premiership

King Hippo

Let’s get comeback wins, Villa and Cherries!!

scotchnaut

Soooo… Are we gonna go with Saquando, Quando, Quando Barkley?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1TGwR26Eks

King Hippo

here’s an awesome song and awesome video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X61BVv6pLtw

theeWeeBabySeamus

At the 1:40 mark I thought things had gone dark and we were looking at Cormac McCarthy’s home movies. Looked like they were grilling the baby, you see.

King Hippo

grate now u made everyone hungry 4 baby ,, smh

theeWeeBabySeamus

I could eat.

litre_cola

One fucking job Hull City, one fucking job and you are fucking that up you fucks.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s funny because there’s probably one job left in Hull City.

(Brexit joke, no idea if accurate)

scotchnaut

Hey Hippo/Seamus-what do the Giants get in BJ Hill?

litre_cola

Seems pretty self explanatory. You pay and you get a beej on the hill no?

King Hippo

As Gettleman would say, “a hog-molly”

King Hippo

he was also considered the leader of a very, very good DL. Consistent and disruptive. Balanced player, should be a solid pro (if not a star). Not surprised the G-Men took him.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

scotchnaut

Ciao.

litre_cola

Gday gday gday

Horatio Cornblower

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, Seamus.

Around here though? President of the Club!

King Hippo

u noe Hippo bet the Cherries the instant they went behind.

Let’s just say hypothetically the razor blades went back in the medicine cabinet when Bayern got that late first half goal…

Beerguyrob

1. I would absolutely trust that dog to make a good Browns pick.

B. Guaranteed that the dog tried marking the podium because Haslam did it first.

* Bernie Kosar thinks that dog is Mr. Modell. Not “Art”, “Mr.”

Dolph Ucker

I am working all day today. Retail, so smiling, and acting interested and civil. It looks like winter out there again this morning and I’m pretty much done with winter. The winter of my discontent, clearly.

scotchnaut

Wow! You can take Tarzan out of the jungle but you can’t take the jungle out of Tarzan!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/wakes up
//pees
///grunts
////goes back to bed

litre_cola

Come on Hull City beat the Sheepshaggers!

litre_cola

I kept laughing out loud at his responses and my missus was looking at me like I was an alien.

SonOfSpam

Weird thing was I was having this totally serious conversation with my daughter about going to college next year. I don’t know whether my advice to her was good.

scotchnaut

Lightning can strike twice! Tarzan is fighting the Nazis again. This one’s called Tarzan’s Desert Mystery. He’s gonna meet up with a chorus girl that is desperately trying to warn a sheik about those silly Germans and their tendency to engage in shenanigans.

Horatio Cornblower

Liverpool-Stoke? Jesus, maybe I will mow the lawn.

King Hippo

it’s been…even more dire than you think

Horatio Cornblower

I’m glad someone else saw that Bravo exchange. I was in tears.

And not just because Todd has apparently been running around behind by back. GUUURRRRRLLLL!

scotchnaut

“LET’S DO THIS!”

/”uh, what are we doing?”

King Hippo

sitting in our own haze of shame?

scotchnaut

Hey, I just an read an excellent noir-ish mystery by the name of Death in Breslau. It takes place in 1933 just as the Nazi’s are beginning to transform police departments all over Germany. Highly recommended. The other two books in the series are on the way.

King Hippo

bet they did na-zi that coming ,, amirite??

King Hippo

Donks WOO!!!! Fat Sam BOO!!!!!