So, we all slept in until the crack of noon, immediately cracked open a beer, and then scratched our asses to our hearts’ content, right?
Wait seriously? Do you NOT work for a company that gives you a four day weekend this weekend?
Um, I guess the appropriate thing to say is “Sorry!”?
For those of us lucky to get an extra holiday or with enough foresight to take a day of vacation and make it a proper four day weekend, today has been a glorious day of doing jack shit.
If you live in Southern California (and really, why the fuck wouldn’t you? BFC just moved here and he’s finally realized this is Nirvana without the shotgun), you no doubt are taking advantage of our local markets’ deals this weekend.
Yes, you read correctly, that’s 72 beers at 50 cents each.
Granted, that will last the average DFOer until Saturday afternoon, but this is why you have a second fridge in the garage.
Wait, do you NOT have a second fridge in the garage?
Ok, we will just gloss over that and focus on the important things:
SEXY FRIDAY IS BACK TONIGHT, MOTHERFUCKERS, AND I’M DOING A TRIBUTE TO JAIME PRESSLY!!
Seriously, there were some DAMN good pictures of her posted recently and I figured we needed to do a tribute.
Without further ado, gentlemen, start your boners:
Don’t you wish you had stopped by Stater Brothers so you could replenish your fluids now?
This is what happens when you don’t think ahead, people!
I’ll see you in a few hours with the Sexy Soccer Saturday Open Thread. If your penis/clitoris is not rubbed raw by the end of the weekend, I’ve let us all down.
No, you know what? Fuck you. This is on you, buddy!
I miss Canada. Man, I want to go back! The Yukon might be nice this time of year. Too bad I don’t like bears.
Well, maybe they’re not that bad. And maple syrup makes great lube…
Sorry!
Ok, that’s enough out of me.
Moose, please continue posting gifs of Tom Brady getting sacked.
All of DFO will cum by the end of this evening, one way or another…
I leave you with two things to think about/ research:
7-2, playing Dirt Bungles is fun.
NAWT fair that WKU Cincinnati has to go up against Wisconsin while they’re still missing Phil Hartman.
Les Nessman and Herb Tarlek will do fine.
I don’t think she’s even a real ninja.
Willing to numb her chucks.
Then from the sacrifice of the peace offering as an offering by fire to the LORD he shall offer its fat, the fat tail entire, taking it away close by the backbone, and the fat that covers the entrails, and all the fat that is on the entrails, and the two kidneys with the fat that is on them at the loins, and the appendage of the liver which he shall take away with the kidneys.
– Leviticus 3:9-10
[immediately renounces Christianity]
– Andy Reid
ah knew Jeebus was a Wolf!!
Tonight’s dinner is spaghetti with sauce made from roma tomatoes from the garden, and some fresh basil also from the garden.
I hope my tomatoes have a nice Fall rush, Summer was brutal and not fruitful.
All my garden plants got trashed in a hail storm, so harvest will be really easy.
Nothing did well here this year other than my red hot chili peppers. The Ghost peppers have exploded in the last coupla weeks. Senor Weaselo ain’t gon’ know what hit him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfOdWSiyWoc
the JV Charged Ones have taken the field on FS1.
Billy Hamilton does not centre field The Right Way, and Hippo appreciate.
Apparently some dude named Cedric Mullins hit a solo HR for Baltimore earlier. I don’t even know who the fuck that is.
Not surprisingly, it’s also their only hit of the night so far.
not paying much attention, but pretty sure I just saw Army complete a forward pass
There’s a Vietnam joke here, but I’m not drunk enough yet to figure it out.
“Told yewwww it was just a matter of time!” – Gen. Westmoreland
THERE IT IS!!!!!!
That seems complicated.
I accept the challenge.
h
ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/ea12f17466610f4947d62bc587d17368/tumblr_pdyyqtBRii1qeu577o2_1280.jpg
Nice cones.
If I were the Utah St. coach, RB Darwin Thompson would be my natural selection to feed the ball to in the second half.
In the section labelled “MLB Special Olympics”, Kansas City and Baltimore face each other this weekend.
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Combine both of their win totals and they’re still more than 10 games back.
I’m sure dozens of fans will miss JV NFL to see THAT live!
The series should deffo be played with the Benny Hill Theme on in the background.
something something I just got beamed up something something
That’s a huge hairy pussy and I’m fine with that.
Did a Thai tasting menu (ordered a shit ton of delivery). My son that doesn’t like Thai (code for “I’ve never tried it before”) munched down on most of the dishes. I just despise that outlook so much.
plus, Thai food is just awesome. It’s like the one genre all my kids will always agree on.
My only problem with Thai is the spiciness. I can’t handle too much although i love the flavours and how Thai cooking uses them.
Nicely done, Mr. Balls. And thanks again for everything.
touched down, Team Secular Big Love State! Back into the lead they goes.
mein GOTT!
everyone about ready to #BFIB?
/sorry in advance, Redshirt
//Bengals practice
I don’t think she even plays tennis.
alrighty then
a little top-heavy for it, yup
I don’t understand sexy pictures on a tennis court. If you’re not wearing sexy tennis attire it’s just weird.
When no one is playing you can fuck on the court and not get bothered.
Uconn had a strong showing last night, but Utah State is tossing out a “Ron’Quavion,” that’ll be hard to match.
that is good Black Mama Hustle!!
What’s that, Southern California denizens? Cheap beer? Nice weather? I can’t hear you over all the running water I’m wasting in my house right now. My house which is not burned down.
Also, my house that doesn’t cost %1,000,000 percent my yearly salary. Checkmate.
Sparty can has fumbre? SI!
The girl on the left needs to wash her bathing suit.
Interesting that you’d notice. I is from a J-Lo video, so prolly makeup.
Now this Jaime Pressly woman is very attractive and is apparently a good comic actress as well and I perfectly understand the attraction to her and all. Some absolutely lovely pictures have been posted here.
HOWEVER . . .
Is this chick ever not in front of a camera?
She’s lovely. I miss that show.
Sparty losing to Secular Big Love State, which seems like sommet I should have seen coming. On BTN.
First off, Canadia is the best.
Secondly, I had lunch with someone I know from the real estate world, who is both razor sharp and stunning. At the end of our lunch today (woohoo, I could expense it), she was doing that “cock head and twirl hair around finger” thing.
She definitely likes working with me, and I am doing some mentorship thing (I’m an attorney, she’s a broker, but it’s symbiotic), plus I impressed her when I came into her project (PHRASING) and turned around a draft super fast, and did things my pragmatic, teamwork-oriented way. And the lunch conversation was great.
I remembered to shower, shave, and actually use product (SHUT THE FUCK UP) in mah hair, so I may have pulled off being a 5. Do some women actually ever do that hair twirling as a simple habit, or is this actually a possible sign that she’s interested? She is single, and I casually mentioned that I have an ex-wife.
Thirdly, even if so, how does one even possibly explore such a thing without being completely fucking awkward?
Man, I miss my old job where I could easily gauge a woman’s interest by asking if she wanted to go walk down to the beach. It was generally understood as a low-key “hey, do you want to go make out down on the beach” invitation, and very easily to decline gracefully if there was no interest.
So I guess my answer is try to create a situation where you can present a similar query.
I like this. I was thinking along the lines of an invite that would be much closer to a date, but not obviously so.
I know I’m going to sound like I’m contradicting myself here, but don’t be coy – if it’s a date, it should be obvious so she can avoid it if she’s not interested. Like, don’t invite her out for drinks with you and a couple of friends only your friends mysteriously cancel at the last minute leaving her alone with you. More like go for drinks (or to watch a game, or whatever) with friends and in advance make it clear to them that you intend to stay for a while after they leave, so that way she’ll have the option of bailing when some other folks do so it’s not weird.
yeah, I can just ask her for drinks or to an after-work event that’s more fun than an opportunity to talk shop, that will be clear enough, methinks. She can always decline or move it in a different direction by including the other people I know from her brokerage outfit, etc.
also, how strong do you think this hair twirling “tell” is generally? You play poker, and pre-marriage days, you also had lots of sexual congress.
It’s a decent one; best bet is to see if you catching her doing it at other non-potentially-sexy times.
she does not work at my firm or in my building, so this might be hard. No longer sure the likelihood of GREAT SUCCESS is strong enough (I mean, it is ME, after all) to outweigh the inherent risk.
By the way, you have my sympathy – playing the guessing game is never fun.
I miss my old job where if a woman liked me she would just give me twenty bucks and start sucking my cock. That was good money in those days.
Stay in touch with her and make plans to spend time with her again. Keep everything chill and get to know her and let her get to know you, outside of work-speaking.
If you both like each other, things will progress naturally.
I may not be the best at this advice, but… dick in a box?
At the very least twirling the hair means she’s relaxed and comfortable in your company. The very least. So just go and build on that.
plus, I would be cool with just being her friend. She’s an awesome lady.
Anyone who ever tried to use maple syrup as lube would know very well that it does NOT make great lube (according to a guy I know who once tried it).
of course not, tis STICKY, not slippery. A basic particle dynamics class would disabuse one of that notion.
ppl who don’t go to engineering school ,, smgdh
I beg to differ. Aunt Jemima is NOT maple syrup!
The maple syrup goes on the nipples. I thought everyone knew that. smgdh
So these asshole put a Symbian up for public use.
Still seams like a fun afternoon.
h
ttps://i.imgur.com/68t7Md4.gif
Me driving and I see a sign that reads:
“All day KG
Lunch included
World Education”
Wakezilla to Mrs. Wakezilla: An all day kegger to discuss world education and it includes lunch? This event might as well be called the Wakezilla Conference because it includes everything I like.
Mrs. Wakezilla: That’s all day kindergarten, not a kegger.
Now all I can think about is what it’d be like to have educators gather around and get shit faced while discussing educational theory.
Should we get more chips (crisps)?
YES! GOOD GOD YES!
Is that yoga?
God Bless you, Moose!
May Satan be indifferent to you, sir.
Gotta go again.
I don’t know what song she’s moving to.
NEVER FOREGT.
What’s in the fridge.
Hnnnnnngh!
Who dat?
Not a saint, I’m hoping.
Hope everyone is out of concussion protocol from this week.
Nice boat.
FUCK YOU FOX NEWS.