There’s a ‘planned power outage’ happening in these parts so I gotta load this one right quick. No, I don’t have any idea why I didn’t do this yesterday. TO THE GAMES!
Niners/Chiefs:
Will Jimmy G be able to keep up with the surly KC O? Not really but take the over anyway.
Cincy/Car:
Who gon carry le ballon for the Bengali’s? Mixon is out, Rawls was just signed and Bernard was limited in practice on Friday. It seems like Gio is ready to go but we might just see a little [looks way down depth chart] Mark Walton?
Bills/Vikes:
Cover your eyes! A rook qb that struggled last week vs. Minny pressure. A massive hole at the cb2 spot due to a sudden retirement. No LeSean. (most likely) The leader of this Buffalo team goes by the name of General Disarray. Oh, and ‘League Parity’ was seen boarding a party bus to Tijuana.
Den/Bal:
The effectiveness of the Bronc’s rushing attack is dependent on little ol’ Phillip Lindsay, the undrafted 5’8″, 190 pounder out of Colorado. Aren’t you glad you snapped him up from the waiver wire like the cheeky monkey you think yourself to be?
Ind/Phi:
Carson Wentzworth III has deigned to play this week for the Eagle birds. Huzzah!
NYG/Hou:
Give the rb the ball and Snacks & Co. will most likely devour them. However, give the qb the ball in a zone-read situation and watch the yardage pile up. This week it’s DeShaun Watson’s turn.
Pack/’Dacted’s:
The only thing questionable about Aaron Rodgers is his judgement regarding his family. Despite the injury status Gutsy McGutterton will play.
Oak/Mia:
Who is Mike Gesiki? He’s the Fins reception leader from the te spot with one catch for 11 yards. That happened in week one. He wasn’t targeted at all last Sunday.
Ten/Jax:
This was Derrick Henry’s year but he decided to be the schlubbiest schlub that ever schlubbed a football. Don’t start his sorry ass vs. the Jagwads.
NO/Atl:
There’ll be plenty of skid marks, dropped axles and blown transmissions on the field after this one is done. (there, I jinxed it-10-7 final)
YES! Got it in on time. Time to sit in the corner in complete darkness and think. You? You start typing.
Had to be a tough penalty for the final ref to take his cap off with that hairline
Bengals are frauds. Season’s over. Goodbye everyone. See you next September.
I didn’t buy it one bit. I’ve seen this movie before. They’re better but not this better.
Did I just see that Hodor broke off a 30 fucking yard run?
all while carrying a cripple on his back.
But he’s not playing against Green Bay
Afternoon, gents. Just turned on the games. The only thing I know for certain is that the Jets couldn’t possibly lose today. I miss anything interesting?
Nope. Perfectly normal, predictable slate so far.
The Vikings are fucking anyone in a survivor pool
-Mark Chmura feels a stirring in his pants
Sounds like someone doesn’t know the Jets very well. They could lose to the bye if they were really motivated.
NCIS is still on? Whose left?
Really hoping they kill off the fans this season
Grim Reaper is undefeated, so far…
Only loss is Jerry Lawler.
Dumb horse collar on the Viks.
Roy Williams Memorial Attempt To Tear A QB ACL
Bunches of Funchess is still a thing?
I dunno HOW A.A. Ron is playing on that gimpy leg. And he’s getting less than no help.
i know, its awesome. Please Green Bay keep him out there.
Dread pirate Rodgers will need a peg leg before season over
He’s always on boats with men looking for booty. And he thinks women are bad luck.
I don’t know if Aaron Rodgers is here for the right reasons.
We’ve swapped the Vikings defense with the Bills defense. Let’s see who notices!
Of course I have Jordy on the bench this week…
after saying the fat humps D is dead the iggles O have decided to not give a shit
Le’Von Bell is being shopped around for a trade. Good luck, Pittsburgh. I have it on good authority that he has not stood for the National Anthem even once this season.
Too be honest either has Ryan Shazier.
This comment would really hurt his feelings, if he could respond to that sort of stimuli.
QB Brady
TE Gronk
WR Gordon
RB Bell
See you in the Supberb Owl again, Satan.
yep, its time to move Calvin Ridley to a FF starter. I think he’s taking Kupp spot.
Box score says the Bills have 17 points, they must have misplaced a decimal point (or radix ).
It’s about to be more.
Today, or on the season?
MAKEUP CALL BLEERGH
Ok, RedZone is giving me too much ADD to background watch and do some work. Which game is the plurality here watching?
DFO=ADD today
Josh Allen is the greatest QB in the league apparently.
Holy shit, Vikes.
Blaine Gabbert with a head owie? Jags not even gonna pretend this year
Josh Allen hurdling on the field and yet the league still freezes out athletic QBs smh
Um, Sterling Shepard ejected for taunting? His reputation was previously untarnished.
They have to cut him off early, he’s very good at getting people to follow him.
Apparently the announcers spoke too soon. I stand by my corny joke.
JJ Watt needs to stomp on Eli’s nuts.
“Just leave my orange slices and juice box alone!”
-E. Manning
Only watching on Redzone, apparently the Clots 55 yard TD drive had exactly 22 yards of actual offense. Love it.
Good D?
Foles isn’t on the field this week
That’s the JD Power award Peter North always wins.
Nice arm punt big red
That one’s on John Ross. He gave up on the pass.
There was a time when this was hard to find
OK A. A Ron get your shit together.
As a bears fan, not necessary
Fox broadcaster just called Mike Shula a great coach. Sure. Why not?
Why leave the blatant distorting of reality to just their news Network?
He’s no Dave Shula
Bleergh making it rain flags like Florence was rolling through the nation’s capital.
Still 1st Quarter, two timeouts burned. Marvin Lewis is a mid-season form!
This redzone stream was enough to make me find the HDMI cables for my TV
OK, when I’m overjoyed that Justin Tucker nails a 50+ yarder, more because I don’t want to lose in FF than because I’m a Ravens’ fan, I might need to reassess my life choices.
Fat Humps earn that Cheese steak sandwich.
CBS just said the best game from the best conference next Saturday Georgia v Tennessee…… didja watch the Vols yesterday?
…and the last few decades?
Wow. The rest of the SEC is on a bye?
Carr with the arm punt
Luck with 5 completions for about 13 yards
Sounds like a long slog of a campaign for Captain Luck and his mounted troops.
It’s somehow working, tie game
Luck did have that 30 yard completion to the Refs. That helped a lot.
Looks like Gamblor will be having his way with me today.
Hot
So far today is great reminder to never bet on football.
(opens BLEERGH alter; starts speaking in tongues)
Aj caught that shit
Keep it on the field, you Soulless Ginger!
Was that FG attempt hijacked by a fucking drone?
Is there a rule against it?
Ah, the Belichik defense.
Gronk gets a text from Coach to bring his in.
“Yeah, is there!?” – Grumblelord
Really appreciating how fast we all were to make this about the Pats
When in doubt, go with the classics.
Wait, how was that a Jaguras penalty?
Please Jags dont kill Mariota.
DOn’t we all want to see that punt team upback play QB?
Ha! NFL Network has the scores in Buffalo-Minny backward. It can’t be 17-0 Bills in the 1st Qtr. Ha ha ha, right?
Peterson going through the Green Bay line like someone is taking a switch to his genitals.
At least Ape won’t have to wait until January to find out his team is a fraud this year
What’s up with Buffalo?
Jesus. Colts D is beyond awful.
Also: no one in the NFL understands physics, or else that would not have been a penalty.
WTF Vikes
NEVER put any trust in Captain Dingleberry. I am so ashamed.
I really Viked them this week. Almost chose them for my Eliminator Pool. Really Vike that I went another route.
RIP “Colts have a defense” 2018-2018
…and then the iggles shit themselves and stall the drive with a missed FG
Someone here just wished for Vinateri, because “he would have made that.”
I hope Colts and Pats never make another fucking FG
That lasted about two and half quarters. They let the Bengals waltz back into that 1st game.
2 1/2 quarters in week 1 and the whole game in week 2, which is way, way above the curve for the humps
Sanders is on Hippo’s bench, of course. 3-0, baby!!!