There’s a ‘planned power outage’ happening in these parts so I gotta load this one right quick. No, I don’t have any idea why I didn’t do this yesterday. TO THE GAMES!
Niners/Chiefs:
Will Jimmy G be able to keep up with the surly KC O? Not really but take the over anyway.
Cincy/Car:
Who gon carry le ballon for the Bengali’s? Mixon is out, Rawls was just signed and Bernard was limited in practice on Friday. It seems like Gio is ready to go but we might just see a little [looks way down depth chart] Mark Walton?
Bills/Vikes:
Cover your eyes! A rook qb that struggled last week vs. Minny pressure. A massive hole at the cb2 spot due to a sudden retirement. No LeSean. (most likely) The leader of this Buffalo team goes by the name of General Disarray. Oh, and ‘League Parity’ was seen boarding a party bus to Tijuana.
Den/Bal:
The effectiveness of the Bronc’s rushing attack is dependent on little ol’ Phillip Lindsay, the undrafted 5’8″, 190 pounder out of Colorado. Aren’t you glad you snapped him up from the waiver wire like the cheeky monkey you think yourself to be?
Ind/Phi:
Carson Wentzworth III has deigned to play this week for the Eagle birds. Huzzah!
NYG/Hou:
Give the rb the ball and Snacks & Co. will most likely devour them. However, give the qb the ball in a zone-read situation and watch the yardage pile up. This week it’s DeShaun Watson’s turn.
Pack/’Dacted’s:
The only thing questionable about Aaron Rodgers is his judgement regarding his family. Despite the injury status Gutsy McGutterton will play.
Oak/Mia:
Who is Mike Gesiki? He’s the Fins reception leader from the te spot with one catch for 11 yards. That happened in week one. He wasn’t targeted at all last Sunday.
Ten/Jax:
This was Derrick Henry’s year but he decided to be the schlubbiest schlub that ever schlubbed a football. Don’t start his sorry ass vs. the Jagwads.
NO/Atl:
There’ll be plenty of skid marks, dropped axles and blown transmissions on the field after this one is done. (there, I jinxed it-10-7 final)
YES! Got it in on time. Time to sit in the corner in complete darkness and think. You? You start typing.
Cincinnati is trying out a new defense, a 7-0 defense. Its not working out that good.
Yeah, I picked them up this week, but kept them on the bench.
They might get cut soon.
(plus I didn’t notice they have the same bye week as Philly anyway….I’m stupid)
NOTE to Erotic Non-Smashmouth: Odd Week Jaguras is NAWT who you fake a punt against. Especially when you just did so last week. This is a side who watches film.
Raiders did not give it to Lynch. They did not score.
Gruden reenergized by all the Hooters in Florida
This Saquon fella just might be ok.
When Allen gets injured we get Peterman time!
Andrew Luck with the Alex Smith Memorial Less Yards Than Completed Passes
LOLfins fraud alert level: TAUPE
Jordy Nelson is the best WR at getting tackled right before scoring
*checks in on Vikes game*
Oh that was a great suicide pick!
The entire world is losing this week.
yeah, I’m on e-bay looking for Japanese swords as we type
Picked the Vikes AND have Cousins in the DFO League.
We’re just here for the dick jokes apparently.
Still vikin’ that
We have KHunt on the board!
at least my Collins advice to Fronk looks solid
Shit, maybe I shoulda started Wentz after all.
The fuck is going on with those Jags pants?
I like them. It’s different, in a good way.
AJ Green got hurt doing a sliding catch. Hope he’s ok.
I read that as Al Green at first. LMFAO.
I might be drunk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COiIC3A0ROM
can you let Gio have one, please? JESUS
Gonna make so many multipass jokes this season
Remember all those times you were in the hunt for a new car and started looking up who won the most J.D. Power awards. Because that’s the most important factor.
Is that Max Power’s brother?
J.D. Power won the J.D. Power Award for best award.
You mean people don’t just watch old Top Gear/Grand Tour?
Good lord. Packers O-line gon’ get Rodgers killt again.
Mayhap tWWL can bring back the Aaron Rodgers Sack Tracker web app from his first season as a starter
Fat Humps going with the Jets “Let’s Not Cover Anybody” defensive game plan.
I hope Eli makes it out today alive
Fat Humps have “an improved defense”…
[leaves a receiver completely uncovered at the line of scrimmage, Wentz promptly throws to him]
I am watching the Fat Humps game in Philly. Wentz’s first completed pass was greeted with cheers one would associate with landing on fucking Mars.
I hate this city.
they’re good birds, atrophy
o hai Carson
This Michael Thomas fellow may be good.
All I needed to do was bet against the Donks. 3-0 baby!!!
Clearly Derek Carr is benefitting from me benching him in a 2 QB league
I really wanted to start Wentz in place of Brady today. But just couldn’t do it.
Maybe next week.
“HERE HEATHER, HOLD MY WINE COOLER …”
It’s Fronkenshteen’s buddy!
How the fuck ya doing boys & Zymm?
Doing well, how are you?
Wow, the Redacted’s Kirk Cousins really looks good today.
Oh, wait….
Someone’s at a game!!
Is that Jim Jarmusch?
Get it FatHumps.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
https://twitter.com/minakimes/status/1043886462268104704
It’s like they learned nothing from the Joe Gibbs revival in Washington
to be fair, gibbs 2.0 made the playoffs
gruden 2.0 is gonna be an eternal 4-12
If only they could have brought Tony Dungy out of retirement for a few years first
I would gladly take 10% of his salary to be only half as wrong as Gruden is on a daily basis.
I have benched David Johnson in both leagues.
You’re welcome, fellow David Johnson owners.
Chargers/Rams tickets are now down to $29.61 (for a pretty shitty seat) but still holding at $30 for up in the back.
Goddamit I wish I could go. I’m gonna be nasty today I can tell.
I heard tickets at last Thursday Browns were going for $0 plus fees online.
I really should go. But instead I’m going to go to the office for a few hours before the Bears game kicks off.
You’ll get to see the Bradford Resurgence Coming Out Party live!
You of all people here should go. See The Coliseum for thirty bucks! I love The L.A. Coliseum. Hell, parking is probably more than the ticket.
If you wait long enough, you might get in with a can of soup.
Or an empty soda can even.
Which gate is Tomsula working?
BATTLE FOAR LA!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zStxvq_Qqow
Quad box! Time for drink number whatever.
Don’t know how I feel about Redzone quasi predicting a tie in Bengals-Panthers
Anyone got kids doing the boy scouts thing around here? I did it back in the 90’s in an inner-city troop before it started transitioning towards batshit crazy town and we were all just savages. It seems like they’re starting to come out of it now, but the boy is asking about it all the time, and I really don’t want to have to deprogram him on a weekly basis. When I was younger, it was a massive cultural difference just on a troop-by-troop basis. I can’t imagine it’s any better now.
Research the troops first. I joined a Boy Scout troop and we went on nothing but hikes because the Assistant Scoutmaster’s son was trying to earn an award for hiking 50 or 100 miles.
Also be sure you can afford to go to Boy Scout camps. If you can’t earn the badges, they’re no reason to join. That’s why I burned out. I missed camp my first year and my 2nd year I could only earn one badge because they made me go to some first year BS camp. It felt weird being a 15-year old and just earning the rank of First Class Scout while 14-year olds were getting their Star Scout Rank.
I was dirt poor when I was in as a kid. Like 90% of it was paid through me doing fund raising things for the troop, and all my shit was hand-me-down gear from my uncle. I do remember the agendas thing being a huge issue towards the end of my run. The troop actually split a few years later because the scout master was olde tyme and laid back and just wanted to teach kids how to set things on fire and shit, and the assistant wanted MOAR AWARDS and recognition.
Agendas happened with my troop, too. The Scoutmaster had to leave during camp and the Assistant Scoutmaster was going Full Starscream. My dad was there as a peacekeeper because the adults forgot their job was to make sure the scouts had fun and didn’t get eaten by snakes.
The Ass. Scoutmaster actually dragged the troop leadership to the freaking BSA Board of Directors! Eventually they got tired of his Alexander Haig impression (“I’m in charge!”) that they pointed to my dad, asked if he was in the Troop Counsel and then looked at the Ass. Scoutmaster and said “Technically, he’s in charge.”
But the Ass. Scoutmaster set a fine example for his troop, his son and the entire Boy Scouts of America…
…by packing up his stuff, throwing his kid in the van and abandoning his troop in South Carolina, 700 miles from home.
Don’t worry. We got home.
Fitting that all these announcers in Landover can talk about is Wounded Knee…
Moose Johnston looks 60 years old
turned 50 not that long ago and now looks 60+
football!
Oh, awesome. My only televised game at 1 PM is the Fat Humps vs Filthy. Awesome. I may watch Den of Thieves again, instead (way better than any movie with 50 Cent and Ice Cube Jr really had any right to be).
Mazeltov!!!!!!!
I got The Fightin’ Newts and Early Season Teasin’ Bengals and….holy shit, I’m not getting informercials on Fox. I’m getting Boy Horses and Les Oiseaux de Vert. What an unexpected treat!
Wow I have a selection, Pack – Slurs, Donks – Ravens, Niners – Chefs, Raiders – Dolphins. think Niners Chefs will be the best option.
My wife’s friend is over and they’re messing with the baby and helping the friend prep for a test. I’m gonna watch (don’t ask me why) Cards/Bears later so I’d be a degenerate for catching an AM slate beforehand. So I’m just gonna catch up on some work and lurk here.
Thanks for this. Now, when you don’t post today I won’t worry and think that something has happened to you and perhaps you’re injured and can’t type for help.
Oh don’t worry. His wifey is still gonna (deservedly) kill him in his sleep eventually.
Bills-Vikes and Packers-Slurs. I hate living in the midwest.
That’s cuz your Midwest ass is supposed to be in church.
Jesus wouldn’t even go to church on Sunday. He’d realize it’s the only sane time to be going shopping on a Sunday.
That seems like the least of the myriad reasons for hating to live in the midwest.
/grew up in Illinois
Honestly, if it wasn’t for Redzone, my Sundays would be spent entirely refreshing r/NFLstreams or whatever it is these days
in indy the fat humps game is always the only game, no matter if home or away
They may start blacking out Loins games here out of shame
https://www.reddit.com/r/nflstreams/
Oh, she ded.
Raiders/Fins and Packers/Redcateds.
Thank God I have Redzone.
I am going to be flipping between ‘Dacteds/Têtes de Fromage and Donks/Ratbirds for the early games