[face is buried deep within his computer’s monitor]
Goff vs Minny? Hmm. Or maybe Wilson against the Cards? What to do? What to do?
Oh, hello there! I didn’t hear you click onto the site. You’re a sneaky one aren’t you? I was just going over my fantasy options and the window is closing fast with respect to putting Jared in there. But enough of my struggles. My, you are looking like quite the handsome devil/striking woman? Have you done something with your hair? No… you’ve lost a few pounds haven’t you? Whatever it is you are definitely carrying yourself well these days. Stalling? No, I’m not stalling-I just wanted you to know that you’re very much appreciated by me [word count is up to 120 buddy, you can do this] and all the other folks that converse on this here site. Er, um… TO THE GAME!
Vikes/Rammers:
I just don’t know what to make of this game. All the hot takes regarding Minny’s play last week have been taken so I’ve nothing to add. They gave away two quick TD scores as a result of fumbles deep in their end (as well as a field goal) and just seemed to be rattled and disoriented. Was Everson Griffen’s on-going erratic behavior something that caused the team to (for lack of a better word) stress? Position by position, the Vikes are talented up the ying yang so I expect that things will get back on track but the short turnabout, the travel and the fact that they’re playing a very, very good team doesn’t look promising for their short-term prospects. That said, Theilen and Diggs are facing backup corners all night long so scoring shouldn’t be an issue. I’m at a loss here.
What are you thinking? Should I play Goff? Also, you may want to weigh in on today’s shenanigans in Washington. Do your thing. You tend to do it well.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! to the East, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! to the West, just RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!
Ok, so we can get this year’s shame bet in place, here are the terms:
Balls says neither the Rams nor the Bears will get to the Super Bowl.
Hippo says one of the two will.
If Balls wins, Hippo must take TWBS to the strip club of their choice and spend $100 on strippers to dance for TWBS.
If Hippo wins, Balls will make a $100 donation to the charity of Hippo’s choice.
Do we have a bet?
ok, fine and dandy
WhooHoo!
Is there more than on Charity at the strip club?
No, the money will go to the “young lady” of Hippo’s choice, for his own “benefit”….but not for me.
Otherwise, I’m out.
Gotta scoot folks. See ya’s soon.
Dear NFL:
This game doesn’t suck. Please continue along this path.
Sincerely,
Fans
Would Dreamboat v Hodor interest you next week?
Hodor has become Alex Smith 2.0, tho
Dear Fans,
Good fucking luck with it happening twice in one season.
Fuck you. Spend money.
The NFL
I am sorry, but #GAMBLOR requires all Hippo moneys.
Just wait. They’ll screw it up.
Goddamn dominoes, just cover those pot holes with your shit ass pizzas. Why waste good gravel?
hey cousins, throw it to diggs!!!!!
Are you happy now?
hahahaha fiddlesticks….. thats not what I meant….
Kwanzaa shopping FOAR Jeb!??
Another technological triumph birthed by the invention of the “fuck machine,” as seen on porno sites.
Looks like the defenses got stuck in traffic…
That’s a lot of purple.
That’s what that kid said right before Barney got fired.
Every time I see that Pizza Hut Steelers commercial all I think is, “So that’s how they become such perfect assholes, they’ve been practicing their whole lives.”
I had to sit down today with HR. We were reviewing the applications for some new hires. Basically three of them.
I’m just looking at their backgrounds. Two of them are from the US. good schools…but no real experience. I then notice the third. Knows multiple languages. Worked on PLC’s and drives. I’m stoked. I just say “this person. We need to interview this guy NOW”
HR ladies “She might not be a good fit”
I then notice at the top of the page. The foreign appliers always include a pic. I don’t even notice the pics anymore and honestly, in the US, we are suppose to ignore them. They always have the awkward, eastern european government official look.
This person is from Poland. Her pic…its the awkward eastern european photo…and its the single most attractive eastern european photo I have ever seen. I didn’t even notice it. All I care about is the background, the skill set.
“She is perfectly qualified. If anything…she is over qualified compared to an American”
HR lady…”So she will just quit”
“No. I’m saying we can’t get an American with the same skill set. We would be able to offer her a lot more money than Poland so if anything, we could lock her up. Especially if we offer her an H1 Visa. On top of this the language skill and the ability to work through the EU…I think its a no brainer. The other two, these guys…no industrial experience and frankly…they won’t stick around”
“Well JSD…we know why you want her…”
I’m sitting there completely dumbfounded. I’m not going to lie. When the two HR ladies gave flack about hiring her, that is when I notice the pic. Up until that point, I didn’t even think about gender or anything…all I care about is the best engineer possible.
And the frustrating thing is…its bullshit. If we don’t call her in…its because the HR women don’t like her…and they have no fucking idea what we do as a company.
I fucking hate they call me in to do these sit downs because they ignore what the fuck I say. And for all the shit engineers get about being around women…our HR people (exclusively women)…they are way worse then engineers when it comes to judging women. But I can’t say shit. I can’t even approach this to anyone because I will get shitcanned.
Its fucking insane to me.
Sorry…I am drunk ranting…
That sucks bro. You deserve to be drunk and to be ranting about that bullshit.
Also, WTF HR? How the fuck does HR say that shit? (Oh right, it’s because most HR people are goddamned terrible and wouldn’t know how to manage human resources for their lives.)
So a while back… I had a nervous breakdown. The last field job I did…If I did not get the drive up and running on time, the price of gasoline on the east coast would go up 4 cents. Very high stress.
So I ended up in the hospital from stress. I get released. I go up to a job in Detroit. In O’Hara, I am get on the plane and who sits across from me, but the head of our HR. This woman Marcy. I try to ignore her.
“JSD!” she practically is yelling…”JSD! Bless your heart! You got family in Chicago?”
“No Marcy. I was doing a job in Detroit. I’m on the way back”
“Oh we are letting you travel again? No FREAKOUTS right?” and she waves her hands around.
I felt a dual shame and rage that I have not felt since I was in the military.
Once the last person passed us boarding, I lean across the aisle
“Marcy…you think this is an appropriate topic, place, and time to discuss this with me?”
Her face went from goofy moron to utter horror when she realized how bad she fucked up. But ever since then, HR just fucks with me. I’m untouchable…but they still fuck with me every chance they get.
Any chance you could talk to Marcy to clear the air? And then, you know, fall in into a love-hate relationship that lasts for several years before you finally admit your feelings for one another and have a wacky destination wedding where you meet each other’s craaaaazy families?
Or is that a thing that only works in rom-coms?
Rom-com thing.
If she sees me in the hallway, she will walk into a door before she makes eye contact with me.
I fully believe I would be fired the moment they could replace me…
She wants me gone but I do customer technical training in three separate languages so I am untouchable…and for some reason she is. I’m just waiting for the diabetes and hoping her next in line is more tolerable.
I can’t understand how anybody could get to there from that one incident. To the extent they’ll just take it out on random Polish women? I know they do, but jesus christ, what’s wrong with people?
I am not trying to sound sexist. I firmly believe if this engineer was a young man or if she was a hideous woman…we would be scheduling skype interviews and flying her in. No issue.
She is an attractive woman…and I suspect there is jealousy.
That is the only thing that makes a fucking lick of sense. And it is utter bullshit .
several women have applied here at the cement plant quality dept, one had a geology major
instead, we hired real meh dudes
(quality dept. supervisor is a woman)
Be a shame if the applicant found out she was discriminated upon based on her gender… Though as a non-US citizen no one would probably care.
That is the worst part. This young lady is so fucking overqualified its unreal. I was wasting time trying to explain to these clowns how degrees work in Europe.
Not sure if this would be legal, but could you pass on her resume to someone else at another company? Like… it sucks that you can’t hire her, but she should still get an opportunity elsewhere.
I have. H-1 Visas are super expensive though. So if my contacts jump at her….its iffy.
Like if we want to get vulgar…her background…that is what is sexy to me. If we are talking about the job…I want to pick her brain. I mean yeah…it could go train wreck mess…the initial interview. Maybe she is bullshitting her application. But she had it all right. It warranted a SERIES of interviews. Not just one (on the off chance she or he…lets be frank gender don’t matter….we do a couple of interviews…and it goes bad. She literally hit the PLC’s (and companies use different PLC’s… typically…she listed ours and its not something you just guess or figure out). No matter how the first interview went…you risk a second.
I can’t even get a fucking FIRST GODDAMN INTERVIEW!
This is like you are a struggling basketball team and Lebron James shows up and asks “Can I get a pick up game” and your HR people are like “um…he is kind of ‘urban’…are we sure we want to go in that direction?”
I don’t know what to say man. Document it. File it away. Maybe the documents will become useful at a later date.
I am an engineer…I document an ass scratch.
HR people are the all time fucking worst. I loathe them. When I was unemployed, I had an interview with one – dried up old bitch – and we’re going through my portfolio and she noticed I didn’t have a certain sample and she says, “So what do we do now?” And I said, “We stop wasting my time. See ya.”
And how in the holy fuck did two women get away with acusing you of being a slavering idiot male pig?
THEIR JOB IS MAKE SURE THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN! FUCK THEM.
Can you call HR on HR? Quis custodiet ipsos canino ex Human Resources?
We hired our first female tech in a generation. She’s also drastically overqualified. She should be out running her own business and making bank. We had 4 interviews. 3 of them were guys who were basically “You’re dudes, I’m a dude. Let’s get this shit done.” and she completely took over and controlled her interview. It was embarrassing for the guys almost to the point that I didn’t understand why they even bothered to show up if this was what they were going for. I’m not sure if it’s because women realize they’re just shockingly outnumbered in tech (she’s one of like 3 I’ve even see apply) and come in with guns blazing because they feel like they have to overcompensate for it, but they make the guys look like such fucking bums.
There are a lot of women who are mediocre in tech. When I compare the freshmen in my intro CS class, the two genders are mostly equivalent in ability. The problem there is mostly that the boys drastically overestimate their ability.
But when you get up in to the upper years, a lot of the girls drop out for no real reason other than the fact they think they don’t belong. You can give a girl and a boy the exact same grade, and the girl will take it as a sign to drop out while the boy will complain bitterly that the test was unfair. So yeah, by the time you get to graduation, there’s been extensive filtering for girls with lower levels of confidence. Generally, the female students in 4th year CS are proportionally more overachievers than the male students as a result.
bahahahaha!!!! go Goff Go!!!!
this game fucking owns
first time said during the day in the week known as “thursday”
two scores, one KUPP!!
C’mon! Thanks , Goffy McGofferson!
Herr Kupp, zat is un exzellent catch
Came for offensive awesomeness, not disappointed thus far.
Damn! What a catch!
Throw to fucking Woods goddammit!
KHHUUUUUUUUPPPP
Kupp
This fucking waste of flesh:
What s that?
An asshole with no talent, which means he makes a lot of money.
Guys like this somehow being worth millions is proof that we need an armed revolution and full communism.
We must seize the means of reproduction, specifically from people with eye tattoos
You know what? Men in commercials are depicted as having the intellect of a retarded mud shark.
Used to be the other way around. I think the flip came back in 70s.
Counterpoint: “Can you hear me now” guy is fucking unbearable in Sprint commercials, and Verizon using Thomas Middleditch is somehow worse.
I think I might have accidentally flagged a comment. I didn’t mean to. Fucking telephones.
Sausage anyone?
Dear Dak Prescott,
You don’t know me, and you probably never will. But i’m turning 50 and if you could shoot Michael Irwin in the face with a spear gun after your sit down, you can blame me and I will go willingly to my death.
Thanks
Fozz
cornsarnit, over was the obvious bet in retrospect. The Vikes’ D is in tatters, and RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! has no healthy corners.
/thanks for not being a Diggs or CookDOWN
I doubt the validity of that video and I’m going to go on a search for the original to prove it doesn’t exist.
The people behind that McD’s commercial should have their fucking faces deep fried
Same result; “Todd” had really bad acme.
Also a common porn actor’s line.
NFL Thursday Night: Mid-week MACtion!
Beer me!
Am I the only one that misses being able to scroll over and see who upvotes comments? Like when I can see “oh…so and so agrees or approves my comments…cool”…
I mean some of you folks are just disgusting degenerates…
We all do.
No…. you are not.
A few of us chatted with DTZM a little while ago about this, and yes, there’s no doubt that we all agree it’s a great feature – him included – I seem to recall something about the plugin that makes that feature works seems to tend to break a ton of other stuff, for some reason, and nobody’s really quite sure why.
I think I remember something about it fucking up other features. We’d prolly be OK if certain people didn’t post so fucking many GIF.
Wow! Same as a human handler.
United Airlines is intrigued, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
UPS has booth lines, please stay on the line.
I am 0-3 in my fantasy league. I have lost all three games by 2 points or less.
Fuck it.
Assassins Creed: Old Historic Setting
I just remarked to my son that it looked pretty fucking cool
Some of the AC games have been extremely forgetful, but none of them lacked the ability to look amazing in trailers.
Assassins Creed: Golgotha
KHUUUUUUUUUP
One guy, one Kupp.
One Goff, one Kupp?
For a second, I thought that was Goff. Either way, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!
Good God was that throw perfect or what?
Go Goff Go!
It’s almost like RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! has got sommet goin’ eh?
That was a hell of a play.
Jesus, the first celebrity shot tonight and it’s Tim “Making it Fucking Snow Baby” Allen?
Hey! He’s a conservative celeb now!!
To my knowledge, he’s the only one. Or at least the only one with the balls to admit it.
EDIT: Except Chris Pratt.
Would you fucking quit it with your Hollywood persecution complex.
https://www.ranker.com/list/celebrities-republican-famous-and-conservative-stars/famous-conservatives
Goffydown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
black dude deals drugs: 75-year prison sentence
white dude deals drugs: buzz lightyear
I thought tv executives slithered rather than crawled
I call this movie “A Star is Aborted”
Looking good so far-
Goff has 8.28 points and Wilson is stuck a 0.00
Is there a more satisfying sound in sports than the NFL field goal up right “thunk”?
I mean a home run crack is pretty satisfying…but it happens all the time. The thunk is so rare.
I love irritating people and working with millenials it’s so easy. All you have to do is say “Trump” and you can hear the triggers going off in their adorable little heads.
You should say “Trump” in Ohio. Its like talking to a brainwashed person.
GOOD DOINK
Evening, folks. No hockey for me this evening as the tornados knocked out the transformer stations powering the arena, leaving the ice to melt and the rink staff to need a week to rebuild all three pads. At least this means football and drankin’, but most importantly NO MARKING WOOOOOOOO
Here are two phrases that make me giggle: “muff diving” and “hair pie”. I don’t know why, but i find them to be hilarious
Here’s another for ya: “beef curtains.”
https://www.nc4x4.com/attachments/awww-motifake-com_image_demotivational_poster_1003_big_bottom_4bd2f9b2748daecbb6914255cb1d9a75-jpg.129447
A referee made a bad call? Incroyable!
Why does the NFL continue to hype the Browns-Steelers rivalry in its commercials? Is there even one? Is it relevant?
It is if you’re in the “right kind” of football family.
As a Browns fan…no.
Interestingly, statistically, the worse beat down, head to head relationship between one team and another…is not actually Browns Steelers…its Browns Ravens.
Its fucking insane how one sided the series is.
If/When the Browns become good again, it will heat up. Its like Ravens-Steelers.
“I hat Ache Troyman.”
-dyslexic football fan
“That’s my nails!”
— Trent Green
Mrs. Fozz: “What do you want for your 50th birthday?”
Me: “An 18 year old Asian.”
Didn’t go over too well. I’m sleeping with one eye open.
“An 18 year old Asian…bottle of whiskey.”
You were so, so close.
Remain calm. You have one out. Say you wanted a male. This will confuse her as to whether its for her or you and you may have time to escape.
Well, I’d also fuck that.
Hear me out: Asian Whisky tours.
That’s awesome!