It’s about time we saw the greatness that is Cody Kessler! He actually didn’t play that badly, did he? I’m not gona actually check out what the Jags braintrust said after the game but I do hope we see a Kessler run next week. Overseas, no less. I’d go over some other high/lowlights but that would mean stepping on King Hippo’s junk and I’m not the type. Nope, not me. Definitely not a junk-stepper. One last tilt to go folks… TO THE GAME!
Bengals/Chiefs:
Kansas City is scoring at a rate of 35 per game. Cincy is scoring at a lower rate. The Chiefs have a colander-centric defensive scheme that is quite generous to their opponents. The Bengalis have a wee bit of talent on their team. Here is my prediction-
Joe Mixon? He scores.
Kareem Hunt? He scores.
Tyler Boyd? He scores.
A.J. Green? He scores.
Tyler Eifert? He scores.
Tyreek Hill? He scores.
Travis Kelce? He scores.
John Ross? He doesn’t score.
Sammy Watkins? He scores.
C.J. Uzomah? He scores.
And there you have it. The scorenami ends in the Chiefs winning because that Mahomes kid just can’t be rattled. But don’t you fret-I’ve got faith in Andy Reid and his Gawd-given ability to undermine the talent at his disposal, no matter what level. It won’t happen tonight but somewhere down the road there will be diagrams scribbled on sweaty, marinara-stained napkins. Those napkins will ensure that the Chiefs don’t even sniff the success due them. It’s The Andy Reid Way.
Smoke ’em if ya got ’em. Otherwise, treat yourself to an ice cream sandwich.
A rare smart play by a Bengal.
I shaved my balls for this
Damn it; closed that tab.
So, while I did have to put on pants and missed most of the first half, I did get to eat lots of Korean BBQ, and my cousin works for Firestone-Walker, so I usually get a few bottles of free fancy booze.
Better than the genocide.
ah mean, depends on who u ask
Judging by their faces, a good time was had by none.
Well, they are the only ones left of their families.
What are we, then? Chopped Suey?
What’s with this trend of showing people flip water bottles to have them land on the cap? Is this some new talent that people should strive to achieve? Maybe it will help you get a job after you graduate with your BA in Art History.
On the cap, you say? Nobody tell the #youths… I spent way too much time in class last year confiscating damn disposable bottles… I really don’t want this trend to start up again.
YouTube is just the worst … except when it’s the best … otherwise just the worst.
Billings.
Bigger than Montana?
‘Cause he’s a large man, you see.
Its been so long since the Bengals sacked the QB, the Bengals didn’t know what to do when he reached the QB.
Yo Cris, don’t call Mahomes a “young buck.” This isn’t Mandingo.
“Awwwwwww” – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL
/checks FF scoring
OH GODDAMMIT!!!!!!
5 game win streak in teh Opium Den!
5 game losing streak in the tWBS doesn’t know shit about shit.
I think Imma change my team name to that, actually.
Lucky for me, my team name already indicates brain damage, although I do have a sort of ‘even week jaguras’ thing keeping me close to .500
I play you next week, Dok.
Congratulations in advance.
YES!
Hey, you assholes settle down back there.
I will turn this league around and go home….RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
REO Shitwagon gon’ win its first game!
grumble grumble
gotta rolllllll with the changes!
Hahahaha…that was funny.
5 way tie for 1st.
do that graphic thing again with andy reid but with ribs and chicken floating around
a brisket or two should do
Particularly good drugs in the booth tonight?
Missouri meth. meth made with BBQ sauce.
HOTS is a stupid game.
fun only when there are a copious amount of starcraft characters around
Hand on the Stove? Yeah, I never liked it much.
that is kinda a shitty coaching tree but it is still miles ahead of belichick’s
No wonder Andy looks so gruff. His tree produced APPLES??
LMFAO
The thing I really hate about regular season Chiefs is that other teams always seem to forget how to do the most basic shit. Like tonight, Cincinnati is like “hey, what is punt?”
Its almost like all they chose to do their Fake Punt Run by the upback, but forgot to tell the upback.
More Uzomah scores, please. I hate the Macarena but I can learn to love it.
Good hustle by the production crew with the music going into the commercial break.
this is the 2nd time a football broadcast/stadium has played the macarena today
did I miss something
Brasil is getting ready to go fascist too, so time to be all buddy-buddy!
I needed this to be the Mahomes back to earth game.
That will buff out,
Hey! You scratched my anchor!
Spalding get your foot off the boat!!
I see we are in the “Marvin Lewis discovers AJ Green is good” portion of the game
You have to catch the ball inside the white lines. Who knew?
-Joe Mixon
He saw four Chiefs getting ready to destroy him and then “accidently” caught it out of bounds.
Evenin, hope you are well gambling sabbatical weekend number 1 went well. I killed no one, yet was not as interested as ff was a tire fire.
Lewis: “Any suggestions?”
Dalton: “Why don’t we throw it to Green more?”
Lewis: “We have A.J. Green on our team?”
Bengals: “YES!”
(A.J. Green sheepishly raises hand)
Lewis: “Lets throw it to A.J. Green more.”
The intro to “New Noise” is an underrated stadium intersticial
wait, they are MAN covering AJ Green with fucking Scandrick?? Never mind what I said before.
Hey Hippo…we’re still ranked #22 in both polls.
How fucking funny is that?
Cowbells came into this past week ranked. There just ain’t very many good JV sides this season. Tis a top-heavy world, like a Vegas burlesque show.
Yup. We’re gonna go 10-2. Which is a travesty unto itself.
prolly lose to the goddamned Holes
ECU
I know that I get the shitty Canadian feed and commercials but man does that new Magnum PI reboot look fucking awful. And since its on every break, it makes me want to watch it less. If that’s even possible
I would rather watch that than anything Sheldon.
Cincy would do quite well if they’d just commit to the run and stick with it.
Is that an illegal block in the back or clipping?
Chop Block.
New Seatle db
They can’t trust the line to do that.
Hurt knee and they put in in the front of a tractor with the leg hanging out. What could go wrong?
It’s cold out. Time to grow the beard and see how much moar white and scraggly it is this year.
And also how many young-ish girls with daddy issues respond.
(I wish I was kidding on that last part)
Just got home from cedar-planked salmon and fresh apple crisp. Time to see some hella scoring, I hope.
We all hope.
Let’s go Dalton, you miserable state trooper looking fuck. Do your share!!!
(walks back into Clubhouse with badly broken fist)
So what did I miss? Oh, and we have a fist shaped hole in the driveway.
If you own a company and wear your baseball hat backwards, I want you to fail worse than the captain of the titantic
they tend to also be the kind of person who say things like “disrupt” as if that has actual business meaning
They need to be shoved into wood chippers
chuh fucking chuh
Damn good to see you Fozz.
Sorry for your loss.
I am glad for my considerable lead in money league, given that I only have Beatie against Mahomes-y plus Butker
Football is so stupid
yeah, am watching esports now
Would it like KC to throw it to Watkins? You’re over using the Khunt.
Diving KHunt means different here than it would in Lesser Footy.
I think Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn were in that movie
Owners of Kleenex stock are driving Porsches right now, thanks to my adolescent discovery of Ms. Canyon.
Mr. Sock would like a word.
Heyyyy-oooo
I think Tyreek has an invisibility cloak or something.
He runs backwards and forwards at the same time.
That’s how he got that punch in on his GF.
Andy Reid just came in his pants, and it smells like hickory
Looks like brown gravy?
With a hint of brown sugar – or maybe that’s just his diabetus
was that a fake, or a woopsie-doodle
T-shirt looks better.
BUNGLES!
WElcome back, Cincinnati Bengals.
Good old “False Start Bobby Hart”.
Yup, lots of opportunities with Uber:
Getting raped, getting stalked, getting ripped off, getting beaten.
Actually that sounds like a night out with Charlie Sheen
I’ve been spat on and shat on and raped and abused.
Nice that phone commercials are just straight up calling their users mindless zombies
Its days like today that make me believe in scientific theories about one side of the body being dominant.
Cuz holy shit does my right leg hurt.
Well, stop kicking yourself in the ass
There’s a joe theismann joke in there somewhere