Huzzah, booze and leftovers! And for the sporting day beginning at 10 EST like God intended (though I still may bitch a little re the lack of a 7:30 option).
West Ham and Man City are your NBCSN option, and that should be a right bloodbath. Fortunately, you can watch Everton hosting Cardiff on NBC Gold instead! The Break featured lots of glowing press for F Richarlison (one name, Brasil DUH) and a PSG flirtation with DM extraordinaire Idrissa Gana. PSG can fuck right off.
Watford and the Shite are also streaming, as well as Manure v. Palace. Very strange for BOTH red-clad arsehole sides to be off the airwaves in the same weekend. But there you go, somebody decided it’s time to market NBC Gold more aggressively!
Spurs and Chelsea are your dynamite spotlight dance, as the jockeying for Champions League positioning begins in earnest. Methinks Spurs will deny history and put this one away, though I doubt I will bet on it.
Arsenal visit the Cherries for an intriguing early Sunday fixture (7:30, NBCSN). Assuming Bournemouth are serious re crashing the Top 6, this is one they need to lock down. Wolves take on Huddersfield Town next (10:30, NBCSN) and…meh.
What of #HAILGAMBLOR? Hippo has $70 each on Fulham (at home to Saints, surely they will stop sucking hind teat eventually?) and League 2 talisman Bury. MOAR will surely ensue as the day unfolds.
Atleti and Barca play Saturday afternoon, to highlight the continental slate (2:45, BeIn). I have no idea whether Messi will return for this or not. Either way, expect a scoreless draw.
Our Young Boys get 7th position (out of 10, Switzerland ain’t that big) Lugano at 1p Saturday. Time to extract some vengeance for Champions League frustration? Or just fanny about for potential Sugar Daddies? WE SHALL SEE.
The last full JV Saturday has a lot to live up to, after a Blizzard-y Apple Cup and Bananacakes OU/WVU tilt Friday night.
Michigan at Ohio State (Noon, Fox)
I’m glad I won’t be watching this one, as I must keep my eyes on the ACCN and screaming into the void. tOSU a 5-point home dog? Hmmmm.
Florida at Florida State (Noon, ABC)
It’s up to the Gators to break the Semenholes’ bowl streak (and their own rivalry slump to boot). Methinks they will.
Syracuse at Boston College (Noon, ESPN)
Battle for distant 2nd place in the Atlantic Division! But could be a good game, these sides are certainly much better than they showed against Notre Dame. Wait, that’s right, ND ducked BC this season. Consarnit.
Purdue at Indiana (Noon, ESPN2)
This will be fun, unfriendly rivals with each needing to win to get a Weedwhacker-ish Bowl bid. They both score a-plenty.
Auburn at Alabama (3:30, CBS)
Throw out the rankings and records, it’s the Iron Bowl, y’all. Nah, just kidding. Roll Damn Tide will beat Aubie like they owe ’em moneys.
Arizona State at Arizona (3:30, FS1)
Territorial Cup? Lots of hatred, but unsexy name. Bear Down FOAR Midterms needs the win for post-season qualification, Sparky just playing for hate.
Tennessee at Vanderbilt (4:00, SECN)
Always fun to see how the ‘Dores manage to cock things up. And cock things up they surely will. Like Purdue/IU, both teams seeking magic win #6.
South Carolina at Clemson (7:00, ESPN)
No, they’s no reason for hope here. Chickens will probably keep it within 4 or 5 TDs, which is sommet I can’t say for Pitt next weekend.
Kansas State at Iowa State (7:00, FS1)
Possibly the last regular season match for Unded Bill Snyder, which is a shame. I find their games more interesting than is rational, and hope they win and go bowling somewhere. Cornpone State is a side I just can’t figure out at all.
LSU at Texas A&M (7:30, SECN)
Bet on the Bayou Bengals. HEAVILY. Surprising this gets such tertiary coverage, though.
BYU at Utah (10:00, FS1)
The battle of Teams Big Love, Original Recipe v. Secular. Elder Price might cheat with an actual Coke for this fine tweaker finale.
Jesus Michigan has gone to pieces
True Fact: Jesus Michigan was Iggy Pop’s second choice.
BWAHAHAHA. Sorry, Best Harbaugh – still love ya from your Niners days, but this is funny as hell.
BOOMER SOONER FOAR PLAYOFFS!!
You shut your whore mouth!!!!!
UGA still has to play Bama, nothing has changed for them
Yep. Dawgs > Elephants
Still can’t believe they got punked by LSU.
Explaining to my very uninterested cat what a Schiano Man is.
Sing me a song, you’re a Schiano man.
She’ll opt to stare directly at a wall rather than appreciate recycled MRSA jokes
I think Imma put a coupla bills on Auburn to cover.
“I’m in! Woo!”
-Gates/Cosby
“Grumble grumble.”
– Bill B., Foxboro, MA
UGa back in the playoff.
At least I’ve got that going for me.
If Michigan doesn’t show something, the AD may show Harbaugh the door.
That’s gonna leave a mark on Harbaugh’s khakis.
Woo maximum entropy!
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE MONKEYFUCK??
You find Jane Goodall’s porn stash again?
We wore ourselves down. That’s what.
D has been on the field far too long.
This game is ovah.
Senior Day! Everybody shake hands with Urban Meyer and promise to keep your mouth shut about where the bodies are buried.
“Did they get paid more than a fair wage to bury them? No? Ok, carry on.”
-NCAA investigator
Previous play is under further review…
Translation…John Swofford.
[grumbled under breath for the 7,385th time]
“Get your shit together, Syracuse.”
Cuse is a deeply flawed squadoo. I’m just glad they have a last-place sked this year.
Without looking, has anyone from the armed services made an impact in the NFL in the last 30 years?
/Napolean McCallum? or am I thinking of someone else?
Pat Tillman?
She was great as Tennessee’s women’s basketball coach but did she ever enlist?
The dude on the Steelers.
Alejandro Villanueva
A-10 pilot on the Cowboys back in the 90s.
I call that “The DeSean Jackson”.
Tulane is beating the ship out of Navy.
Stern shot!
So Hippo, tell me again how great our gameplan is?
When we lose this game 15-14, Eliah better get fired.
Son with a beautiful 3rd goal to put this on Ice.
Tottenham gonna get the W.
Gators with a Kick Catch interference penalty. Holy Christ, that was stupid
I just changed the channel Ohio State. What the hell?!
one jerb, tOSU. You bumblefucks
I miss Elvis Peacock…
Oh, so this officiating crew does know what a facemask is apparently.
When it’s favoring U*NC at least.
Seminole Fluids with a fertilized down. That was one hell of a catch
Cuse returns the “wr wide open” favour.
so polite, no wonder they’s popular in Canadia!
@Hippo…I’m beginning to not be happy about our offensive gameplan here.
plan is fine, it’s on Finley
They are cheating on the line, and we keep trying to establish a run game. Which we don’t have to begin with. Then putting him in 3rd and long. I get trying to establish a run to open up the pass. But we need to adjust and go the other way. Open him up and win field position.
Finley has made some bad throws, yes. I agree. But I think our gameplan has caused that more than he has.
they wilt late, trying to wear them down
Yeah…but we’re not.
“Make Ohio State Great Again”
-Rural Meyer
Heh, never seen a penalty actually called on “the head coach” before.
Normally they say “on the bench”. But last night there was a “Unsportsmanlike Conduct on every player on both teams”.
That goes into the great penalty calls archive, right? Not quite “givin’ him the business,” but in the archive.
Urban Meyer got flagged for correctly saying the referees aren’t doing their job right.
I see the Wolverines have been into the Flint Water again
I hope one of Ryan Finley’s many degrees has practical application in the workforce
He needs some earning potential after that pass, fo’ sho’.
Ohio St.: gets torched all season by spread offenses, speedy receivers.
Michigan: Let’s run FB dives up the middle all day.
Finally. Hit that middle in the seam.
It’s been there all fucking day.
-John Ross, Betsy’s harshest critic
The Passage: “No one asked for yet another zombie-centric entertainment thingy but here we are!”
Will NOT translate to film, but the 3-book series (almost 1700 pages) was AWESOME
So who slides into Michigan’s spot in the playoff if this result holds?
UGa
“1st and 10 line, brought to you by Lending Tree”
smgdh
Seminal Fluids have a touchdown called back because their illegal shift looked like Homer Simpson’s sperm under a petri dish
now miss the FG, you fuckstains
“Solsbury Hill” and Natalie Dormer in a coffee commercial with George Clooney.
…sure, why not?
/hears “Natalie Dormer”
//tries to hide erection
Now you’re just being cruel.
Uh, ref? I really doubt Ohio State would decline the False Start and let it stay Michigan 4th and 2 on the OPP 42.
So… he’s not down with OPP?
He’s had four chances already, so I’d say he isn’t.
since when can one decline a false start anyhoo?
I checked. An offense can decline a false start, and they have in the past but usually for punt field position reasons.
Just saying, everyone associated with U*NC should die in a fucking fire
Larry Fedora is the turd in the punchbowl.
offensive to turds
Fair point.
Guy Fieri wishes that Michelin gave out as many stars as the Ohio State coaching staff.
Fitting Florida is wearing white because #22 just channeled White Lightning for a Gatordown.
Cuse qb Dungey is essential to the team but he looks like a prototypical “young Republican Senator deep in the closet”.
where a Dungy like that BELONGS! – Tony D., Transylvania
hey, at least my ML bet on Wake looks good!
Nice pick there.
I was tempted, but couldn’t convince meself.
godfuckingdamnit
Nice pick NCSU.
Nice way to miss the facemask dummy officiating crew.
Anyone else watching the Gators vs Seminole Fluids?
That must have been one hell of a night for those football players, having the other teams’ co-eds trying to wear them down for this game.
“Now you get in there and take one dozen for the team!”