Check out the smashed-into-the-windshield-several-times visage of Blake Jarwin. The toothfull grin that indicates that the keys shaken by the photographer please him. The too-small, beady eyes that have no doubt silently observed more than one grandmother undressing at bedtime. The throat devoid of an Adam’s Apple. The sloughing forehead that indicates him thinking, “I hate that Mr. Purrsident Trump! He ain’t bombed a single Guata-mawcallit Caravan yet, like’n he promised!”. Why do I call attention to him? He’s got himself the ‘Questionable’ status after not practicing all week. He showed what a weapon he could be after scoring three TD’s vs. the Giants and the Evangelicals are a bit worried because you know how much they love their ‘Revelations’. [Snickers to self-also, Milky Way’s to self]
TO THE GAME!
Wr Cole Beasley is in the same boat injury-wise but as everyone’s cliche-dar goes off, yeah, he’s going to ‘gut it out’ like the hero puppy he is. “Gut it out” also just happens to be the title of my evisceration-centric autobiography.
Worrying Trend: In their last four games DAK!’s QBR rating has been 4th best in the league. Goff? Before the bye week he was ranked 4th-in the last 4 tilts he’s ranked 25th. Probably has something to do with Kupp’s ACL snapping and Josh Reynolds not doing nearly enough to fill the void despite single coverage.
Just Plain Silliness: The Cowboys D is being called The Hot Boyz? Way to embrace the homo-erotic undercurrent running thru your sport, fellas.
Rams Other Wideouts: They go by the name of Woods and Cooks. That’s also the name of the YouTube channel I head to when I want to watch animal-skinning vids.
Gentlemen, place your bets. You too, commentariat.
Let Dak fuck up on his own
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
OK…That was NAWT a good call!
In the grasp of his O-linemen? What the shit was that?
WTF??????????
SELF SACK
Well.
There’s something you don’t see everyday.
in what grasp?
I mean, they’re not wrong.
And I thought “opponent” was pretty clearly defined!
The Cowboys Shirt of Misfortune is off!
BRING ON THE COWBOYS PANTS OF SLIGHTLY LESS MISFORTUNE!!!
Is that worn with the Stone of Triumph?
just run DAK!!!!!!!!!
Goodell, Kroenke and JJ were in the same room and a meteor didn’t hit it?
There is no God.
The Bible has made it pretty clear that He won’t kill Satan.
There’s our national disgrace!
Which one?
Because some one posted a rick rude gif earlier
Again, why do you all have to shame me?
Where’s my damn food?
Damn lesbians better get there soon.
Fuck yeah! Chew them out Chris
Should they really be setting fireworks off in California? Didn’t half the state just burn down?
Yes, so there’s not much left to burn.
/also it rained today.
Is that fog or smog or did Texas finally launch an attack on California?
Jade Helm wuz reel!!111
Vapers blowing fat clouds down there.
First half update…UC Irvine 18, Cal State Fullerton 5. HAHA MY SCHOOL IS BEATING MY KID’S SCHOOL BRB GOTTA TELL HER HOW MUCH HER SCHOOL SUX
“If your school loses, your room becomes my den.”
*Den is a euphemism for sex dungeon.
ZOT ZOT ZOT ZOT!!!!!
lol
Yeah? Well, you, um, uh…
Fuck.
7 AFC and 5 NFC?
Don’t let facts interfere with the funny
That’s what I was thinking, something is off there
Oh you know what? We forgot about that year the NFC had to forfeit their #1 seed, I bet that’s it.
Looks like it should have been the Packers. That was the year Eli stupidly beat Tom Brady again.
That was 2011. Where is 2012?
Amazing! C.J. Anderson just showed up today and he already has a Wikipedia today. With a life and career history and everything! That’s good hustle.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C._J._Anderson
You had a goodish run, Dak.
Fuck yeah RAM IT RAMMMM ITTTTTTTT
Woooooo
GURLEYMANDOWN!
Bail out. Zebras better keep that has the standard
That is an extremely weak call.
Albeit correct
I see you’ve been watching me play poker.
andy reid finally winning a playoff game, and now cj anderson
good night for fat guys
Better night for rib shacks.
“I would say ‘Burnt ends for everyone’ but who’d I be kidding?”
Mark Mangino celebrates by eating four footlong Italian subs.
That’s brunch for Mangino.
Where the fuck do Anderson come from? was he on the team all year?
Nope, they picked him up off the street for Week 16
Don’t let Todd Marinovich or Ryan Leaf hear that. It might give them ideas.
this is why the cody parkey double doink isn’t so bad
bears were not winning this game in la
A man can dream
nah, I think Chi**** rolls ’em again
There’s plenty of me for both, ladies.
Anna Camp plays hot-but-bitchy so well.
I really, really want to like Dak, but that last drive, man.
Jesus fuck.
I think that would qualify more as a “possession” than a “drive.”
I can’t spell the big words goodly.
Progressive Jamie’s wife is tall enough to eat beans off the top of his head and fart in his face.
I usually pay extra for that.
JUST RUN IT DAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’d think canned ham would travel well.
come on Dallas, it’s not cold, snowy raining. Get IT!
Someone forgot the steal their cellphones and delete the calendars.
Lousy nice Smarch weather!
An important sign of team success is the enthusiasm of the team assistants/interns. Not getting a lot of camera shots of the Cowboy sidelines going insane, so you have to assume they’re going to lose this game by double digits.
Pretty sure there is a lot of moaning coming from the owner’s box
That’s just Jerrah being resuscitated.
Well, I just turned a latent turd into an industrial diamond on that near-pick.
Picking a fight over what constitutes feminism with female lawyers? Good idea, Unsurprised.
Thank you, Other Unsurprised. I am smart.
It turns out that bourgeois women aren’t keen to read that “hire more women guards” is a bad take.
Drop a “c” word or two into the argument. Really establish your alpha status.
My actual reply was that it doesn’t matter what Gavin Newsom’s wife’s title is when both of them see feminism as making sure that half of California’s slave labor is done by women.
Most things politicians and celebrities trumpet as progressive are just everybody getting to do awful things or have awful things done to them. Everyone suffering equally is progress!
The rich and poor are equally prohibited from sleeping on the streets.
did you say or treat them as “bourgeois women” unironically? Because that may have been the primary issue.
Not directly.
You pigfucker catch the INT!
Fuck ONE pig….
— David Cameron
It is rather impressive that English boarding schools are so thoroughly entrenched as entryways to power that all the sexual assault, torture, and literal pig necrophilia is completely dismissed even when it was done by their goddamn Prime Minister.
I am very concerned about the Rams’ ability to cover
uh huh
the spread?
Some of us have a four team parlay going
I do but I picked the Cowboys to cover. Don’t bet with your heart, give Zeke the god damned ball.
I wouldn’t worry about this part of it.
I’m sure Jason Garrett will make the necessary adjustments at halftHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA-dies-
I got faith……………………………………………………………..in liqueur
they say gurley not playing as much is due to fitness
…so the option is “run the fat guy”
he’s hurt, they lyin
As opposed to C.J. Anderson, who is playing a great deal due to fatness.
CJ is Jerome Bettis fat.
BUT CAN HE BOWL
IS HE FROM DETROIT?
Is he from Detroit!?
CHONKDOWN!
LOL CJ ANDERSON 225 LBS
CJ Anderson looks fatter. I’m going to root for him.
Chefs/RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! would be so fun.
GUrley get hurt?
he pretty clearly still is, barely played since the route he ran right before first FG
The aforementioned Brandon Perna always called him CJ “Bash” Anderson