Your “What’s Worse – A Pattern or a Trend?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Following up on a balls comment from last night’s Open Thread, the Super Bowl viewership rating was a 41.1, or an average of 98.2 million viewers.
    • The lowest viewership rating since 2003, Super Bowl XXXVII – Raiders vs. Bucs.
    • Market share varied across the country:
      • Boston had a 57% viewership
      • LA had 44%  
        • Highest since 1996.
      • New Orleans was 26%, indicating the “Blackout Bowl” mantra had legs.
        • Lowest since 1998.
    • It’s also the first one with viewership under 100 million since the advent of digital streaming.
      • Digital numbers take the overall viewership to 100.7 million.
    • The all-time viewership record was Super Bowl XLIX at 114 million.

 

  • Legalized gambling on the Super Bowl cost New Jersey $4.5 million.
    • Just under $35 million was bet on the Super Bowl at New Jersey sportsbooks, according to the Sports Gaming Authority.
    • In comparison, Nevada sportsbooks won almost $11 million on the nearly $150 million bet on the game, according to the Nevada Gaming Authority.
      • The second-most ever bet on a Super Bowl in Nevada.
        • Most = $158 million, on last year’s game.
      • The largest Nevada bet was $2.0 million on the Rams.
  • Despite his protégé looking like dogshit & only scoring three points, the Bengals have named Rams QB coach Zac Taylor as their new head coach.
    • Prior to the Rams, he was an OC for the Dolphins, and in 2016 was the OC at the University of Cincinnati.
  • Brian Flores admitted during his first press conference in Miami that there will be rebuilding.
    • Dolphins owner Stephen Ross reiterated his comments from last month about looking for “a long-term leader of the team who would build a winning culture in Miami”.
    • That’s likely also why Flores insisted on a five-year guaranteed contract.

Finally, the Patriots held their victory parade today.


Tonight’s bullshit:

  • State of the Union – 9:00PM – every broadcast channel


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Canucks at Capitals – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Raptors at 76ers – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN
    • Heat at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | TNT
  • NCAA:
    • Boston College at Duke – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Michigan State at Illinois – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Pittsburgh at Wake Forest – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • St. John’s at Marquette – 8:00PM | FS1
    • Kansas at Kansas State – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Missouri at Tennessee – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • Florida at Auburn – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown Live – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • If you like, Daniel Bryan introduced his new wood & hemp belt last week.

SO EARTHY!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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UnsurprisedLow Commander of the Super SoldiersMoose -The End Is Well NighMr. AyoWCS Recent comment authors
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Wakezilla

Ocasio-Cortez is not clapping for anything– not even bipartisanship.

She’s going to break a lot of hearts when she sells out

Redshirt

This is the first time I’ve haven’t seen here smile. She looks weird with lips.

Wakezilla

Screw that, she’s smoking hot

Redshirt

She’s still hot. Its a weird hot.

ballsofsteelandfury

TEMPTATION ISLAND IS ON!

Redshirt

Redshirt’s Fluffy Bipartisan Feeling

2/5/19 9:50 PM – 2/5/19 10:10 PM

Don T

DFO recognizes Juan Guaido as MVP of Superb Owl LIII.

Wakezilla

I mean, he already declared himself the winner before kick-off.

Col. Duke LaCross

“Old, unproven theories that don’t work?”

Trickle-Down Economics would like to have a word, sir.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

But even the Democrats have adopted that supply-side bullshit.

Redshirt

Nice strategy by Trump. 95% of happy, fluffy stuff. Andhere’sabunchofshityoudon’tlike.

GOOD NIGHT, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA!!!!

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Cold War 2.0 is what I’m getting out of this. Except without any real goals.

Redshirt

I like to think the Standing Goals from 1.0 remain in effect.

– Don’t let the Other Guys take over the world.
– Don’t kill Earth.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

I do not think it is the same at all. This administration is the Other Guys. And killing Earth is a wet dream for the religious fuckbubbles to stage left.

Redshirt

“I like to think…”

Col. Duke LaCross

This is pretty rich considering this dude has probably shelled out more dough for abortions in the last fifty years than the GDP of some of the Central American countries we’re gearing up to wipe off the map.

litre_cola

Redshirt’s commentary is better than watching the naturally orange man speak.

Redshirt

You can either stare into the abyss or start yodeling in it to see if you can hear an echo back.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Million. Billion. Whatever.

scotchnaut

It’s just zeroes and they have no value.

scotchnaut

The ridiculous standing/clapping thing is wearing me down. I’ve this notion that this is all theater.

/cue all media tomorrow yakking about Trump’s “president-ing” on a heretofore un-presidented scale

Redshirt

I’d have fun with it. I’d go for 100 ovations. I’d even go for cheap pops on the other side.

nomonkeyfun

On his way out the door, he grabs the pussy an Asian, Hispanic, Black, and a White woman.

Tomorrows lead editorial from NYT board.

“Trump respects all races equally.”

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You realize you’re an adult when you know you can’t get away with pissing behind a dumpster because there’s a chance you get the cops called on you and have to deal with possibly being labeled a sex offender the rest of your life.

You realize you’re old when you don’t give a fuck anymore.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

When did Republicans get so into tariffs?

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Also, the Habs are winning again. I know, weird. Or maybe not.

litre_cola

I have no idea how they are doing it. Helps that Price is in great form again but seriously their D is questionable.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

It’s been questionable since the start. But sitting at #6 at this point? I know it could all just collapse at any time… it just hasn’t yet. I never thought it would be like this at the beginning of the season. I remember a lot of 20-win projections. Bravo, Canadiens! Et baiser les Bruins pendant qu’on y est.

Wakezilla

The Habs defense: Questionable since the early 90s

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Pretty sure Pelosi is looking over the upcoming subpoena list. I can tell by the little grin that she gets from time to time, like she’s anticipating a fine meal. A meal of Republican, served rare but not cold.

Redshirt

What is this weird feeling? Is this bipartisanship? Can we have this more often? I need this.

scotchnaut

No matter what you’re hearing at the moment the USS Bipartisanship ran aground a long time ago.

Redshirt

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

[first day as a wizard]

me: babe I said I was sorry

frog: >:(

Redshirt

Oops.

Redshirt

“Simply put, walls work and walls saves lives.”

TELL THAT TO MRS. DUMPTY AND HER CHILDREN, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

scotchnaut

Trump thinks in terms of physical, touchable things-walls, pussies, TV remotes and that smallish thing below his belly.

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Respect? How much for that?”

Redshirt

When did Cruz get a beard? Who approved this?!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Madame Tussauds who rebuilds his face every morning.

Brocky

+1 to scotchnaut for his response to my flipper joke

herodotus450
herodotus450

Had to bang on the teevee extree hard, but I can finally see a picture coming throughcomment image

Redshirt

(stands up) POW-ELL! POW-ELL! POW-ELL! POW-ELL! POW-ell. pow-ell. pow-… (sits back down)

scotchnaut

[Strings are raised]

[Republicans stand and clap]

Redshirt

Announcer: “Veteran Catcher Pelosi gives a signal to her pitcher to slow down. She may have to ask for a mound visit to calm them down.”

WCS

The woman behind Alice is clearly asleep.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Did Trump just threaten the prosperity of the US if he keeps getting investigated?!?

Redshirt

Yes. Yes he did.

Don T

The SCOTUS folk are in the second row, so there’s no obstruction of justices.

scotchnaut

Sneaky word play ftw.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

“We’ve also screwed over Redshirt’s tax refund amount. He’ll never pay off his credit card bills.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sounds like like quite the budget plan you have there.

Redshirt

The blackjack tables won’t play themselves.

scotchnaut

“Jesus Christ! We’re the solution to all your Republican problems!”

-The Lottery

Redshirt

I look forward to GIFs of Pelosi reading ahead in the speech to see if Trump declares a National Emergency and proclaims himself Emperor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

The Democratic ladies plan to wear white is backfiring and making this look like a high school commencement ceremony.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I was getting a vibe of one of those creepy father/daughter promise ring dances…

scotchnaut

Meanwhile, the Republican ladies are wearing red as prescribed by The Handmaid’s Tale.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Isn’t that book to liberal for them?

Redshirt

I think Mein Kampf is too liberal for them.

Redshirt

Is that series worth watching?

scotchnaut

I read the book. It was so depressing that I’ve no interest in watching the series.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Same here.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The series sounds more depressing because it isn’t even remotely as consistent as the world in the book. It’s basically #Resistance: The Series and I hate everyone who watches it.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

In work related news, I blew up a full size, medium voltage drive.

I think that was a $600k fuck up. My ass is covered. I figured out before I started that one of our shit head development guys already damaged it prior. I was pretty pissed he was setting me up.

Jackass was surprised… I kid you not, that I immediately reported we had an incident in the lab. I’m praying this gets him fired. I had sent out emails prior to powering up about the risk to about a dozen managers.

Now somehow I am the bad guy in the office.

I sort of like this. No one bugs me now.

Redshirt

The guy thought you wouldn’t mention that $600,000 fell and go boom?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

It’s not even the money. It’s a 4160 VAC arc event. We literally tested the frame’s ability to withstand an internal explosion.

The kid I was working with was confused why I moved both of us to outside of the testing area.

“so we won’t die”

“but how do we estop the drive if it arcs”

“YOU DON’T! THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO”

about 5 minutes later…. Boom.

Redshirt

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Sometimes you’ve gotta let Natural Selection play itself out.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

The only reason I didn’t immediately leave when I discovered the prior damage was this kid refused to leave with me.

I was terrified of this kid trying to power up the drive solo. Hence I sent off emails trying to get any of our other managers to show up and end the shit show.

Redshirt

You should’ve have done with Cassandra Cain did to Stephanie Brown in the comics back in the ’00s.

(looks down at criminals with guns)
Stephanie (amateur crimefighter): “Looks dangerous.”
Cassandra (master martial artist): “Yeah.”
(knocks Stephanie out without looking)

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Oh being the bad guy is the best if you already hate everyone else. They have to tolerate you, so you just get completely ignored and left to do whatever you want.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Oh I love safety. You get to be an absolute prick and there is fuck all idiots can do about it.

Redshirt

I see Trump is going with the Reds plan when they panic and send out the Great 8 of the Big Red Machine:

“When it doubt, wheel them out!”

Senor Weaselo

Does it involve a cannon? Then we can fire Joe Morgan!

Redshirt

No. The Reds like to fire Tony Perez for some odd reason.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why are people talking about the SOTU? That’s boring. Let’s talk about something of marginal interest instead.

I am trying to think of a decent solution to replace the screw-on caps on the end of my dumbbells. I want something that will clamp on, much like the spring-fasteners that work with my curl bar, but I can’t use those specifically because they get caught in the threading. So I am thinking maybe something that wraps around, like a piece of very tight-fitting PVC.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The PVC I have has an inner diameter that is a little bit too big, so I tried cutting it lengthwise so it will snap down a little bit, which works but it’s still not tight enough.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Just drill a hole through the bar and welcome back one of these big ass cotter pins
http://i406.photobucket.com/albums/pp142/rolesfamily_photos/Giantcotterpin001_zps8a323c83.jpg

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

State of the Union speech total length….8 minutes…over or under?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I got under….

scotchnaut

If the speech is an expression of him continuing to fuck your nation? He’ll try for the over but he’ll end up out of breath. You’re right-under is the right play here.

scotchnaut

If Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and Billy Ray Cyrus* don’t perform the intro music for the SOTU address, King Hippo loses $70 and his mind.

Ian Scott McCormick

Will somebody let me know when that orange asshole is done talking tonight so I can go back to the TeeVee?

scotchnaut

Orange asshole? Boeheim’s presser should be done by 10 pm.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My doctor told me to use this prescription cream on it. It didn’t work; he’s still alive.

Redshirt

Now his mouth looks like an anus. I cannot unsee it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Considering what comes out of it I’m surprised it was not this way all along.

Col. Duke LaCross

Rick Perry is the “Designated Survivor.” This really is the dumbest possible timeline.

Gratliff

The State of the Union has been bad since its inception. It’s such a waste of fucking time. He may as well just give it at the fucking golf course for all its value to the country.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

How did I forget about this song? Welp, I know what I’m blasting on my drive home.

litre_cola

Thought the exact same thing LCSS.

Senor Weaselo

Is it time for the SOTU drinking game? Y’know, don’t watch it and just waterfall grain alcohol for an hour?

Brocky

A trump state of the union makes me wish that flipper was still on.

SO I COULD SAY I’D RATHER BE WATCHING FLIPPER!!!

scotchnaut

[nudged by trainer]

“Umm, THIS NATION IS STUCK DOWN A GODDAMN WELL!!!”

-Lassie

scotchnaut

“President Bruce makes some right good points, mate.”

-Skippy, the bush kangaroo

scotchnaut

“He keeps banging the same old drum.”

-Rin Tin Tin

scotchnaut

“Getting kinda tired about this illegal alien jibber-jabber.”

-Alf

scotchnaut

“Just seeing him open his big fat mouth I feel [takes deep breath] you know.”

-Trigger

Gratliff

scotchnaut

“I was a way better President.”

-Garfield

scotchnaut

“Poor guy. Wish he could enunciate better. It’s like someone put peanut butter on the roof of his mouth or something.”

-Mister Ed

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So what is everyone watching tonight instead of the clown show? I was thinking of starting El Ministerio Del Tiempo, to practice my Spanish, and also because boobies.

Sharkbait

The Mrs. just finished binging Grace & Frankie. I suggested we start on Peaky Blinders. Either that or Shameless.

scotchnaut

Cayetana Guillen Cuervo is gonna set your dick on fire. Check out her bikini pics at the age of 45.

/2nd season, episode three over here

scotchnaut

Oh, and her co-stars are Picasso, Dali, Cervantes, Velazquez, Isabella, Lorca, Cervantes, Goya and many others. Really cool show.

herodotus450
herodotus450
scotchnaut

The cat is the focus of the piece but I identify with the dog quite a bit.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Heh, and then it shows up in the very first episode (or, episodia)

scotchnaut

Netflix Algorithm Rant:

Much like Ariel Castro’s victims, I hate getting boxed in. And that is what Netflix does to me on an on-going basis. I love me the documentaries but get subjected to the same titles over and over again. Out of curiosity I searched that genre under my nephew’s profile and a shit-ton of new titles manifested themselves. Most of them were related to how to hide dead bodies but, still.*

*[makes mental note to have a chat with nephew]

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have failed in my efforts to get Lady BFC to use her own profile on our Netflix account so I can stop getting ridiculous recommendations based on her viewing history and mine intermingled.

scotchnaut

Hear, hear! UK-centric melodramas show up on my recs due to wifey not using her own account.

I’LL WATCH DOWNTON ABBEY IF/WHEN I HIT 70, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. JESUS CHRIST, ENOUGH ALREADY!

litre_cola

Chat with nephew for hobo killin tips?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Much like Ariel Castro’s victims, I hate getting boxed in.

God DAMN

Redshirt

comment image

MFW Whenever Trump mentions the words “emergency” and “unity”.

ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t forget Temptation Island tonight!!

herodotus450
herodotus450

That’s like the Site B to MILF Island right?

Ian Scott McCormick

Shhhhhh. If my wife hears this and starts watching it I will kill you.

Senor Weaselo

Mike Prieffer will not nuke that island until it glows. The nuclear glow is all its own!

herodotus450
herodotus450

$11+ million extension for Matthews; I haven’t seen a (cap) crunch this big since that tunnel in England in 1998.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Bah it was 1997.

scotchnaut

Curiously, “Off By One” happens to be a bio focused on Andy Reid struggling with his belt buckle every morning.

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Off By One (decimal place)” is the story of he and his scale.

Sharkbait

That contract all but seals the next lockout.

WCS

“I’M TAWMMY’S NUMBAH ONE FAHN! NO ONE DENIES THIS!”
“WHAHT? FACK YOU YOU FACKIN’ FACK!”
https://deadspin.com/there-was-a-big-ol-brawl-between-patriots-fans-at-their-1832367310