NFL Nuggets:
- Antonio Brown has now decided to stop taking runs at BIG BEN and instead is now bravely aiming his Twitter cannon at Juju Smith-Schuster.
- Going so far as to blame Juju for the reason the Steelers “fumbled away” their chance at the playoffs in Week 16 against the Saints.
- Which has led to a back & forth that demeans them all.
Crazy how big that ego got to be to take shots at people who show you love! Smh
— JuJu Smith-Schuster (@TeamJuJu) April 7, 2019
- Better Steelers news: Ryan Shazier is able to do three-foot box jumps.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv93QvvgL-1/?utm_source=ig_embed
- Betterer news is that more former AAF players have been signed to NFL contracts:
- The Steelers signed three players.
- The Cardinals signed two players.
Tonight’s sport:
- NCAA:
- National Championship Game: Virginia vs. Texas Tech – 9:00PM | CBS / TSN
- Ralph Sampson in the house!
- National Championship Game: Virginia vs. Texas Tech – 9:00PM | CBS / TSN
Although it’s not as cool a story as my brother’s friend who ran a $500 Eagles bet in Week 15 then double-or-nothing all the way to a potential $400,000 payout if they’d beaten the Saints, the largest payout on Texas Tech tonight is a $1500 futures bet from back in November that will pay out $300,000 if they can beat Virginia. (He apparently wanted to bet more than $1500, but the Sportsbook stopped him.)
I can’t say I have any real animus towards either school. I remember Ralph Sampson because any guy my age from the 80s couldn’t forget how tall he was versus the rest of the team, and how Jim Valvano completely owned him in both the 1983 ACC Tournament finals and the Elite Eight. And I’ve been to Lubbock.
The current spread on the game is Virginia by 1.5, with an over/under of 118.5. I’m not Hippo, nor an especially devout worshipee of GAMBLOR, but I’m going to pick Virginia by six & advocate for the under – I just see these two teams taking too much first-half time trying to feel each other out, and that will leave the scoring kinda flat. It won’t be as flat as the Super Bowl or your first girlfriend, but it’ll be close enough to give you flashbacks.
_____________________________
Tonight’s other sports:
- NHL playoffs start Wednesday, and the NBA took tonight off to watch the game.
- MLB:
- Yankees at Astros – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Nationals at Phillies – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- WWE:
- Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- after yesterday’s 13.5 hour Wrestlemania, tonight is the annual “brand reset” where new feuds & new wrestlers appear
- Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
As stated, NHL playoffs start on Wednesday. I’ll have series breakdowns by conference over the next couple of days. APRIL IS THE START OF TROPHY SEASON!
Yankees announcers desperately trying to justify Boone pulling Tanaka at 78 pitches with a 3-1 lead.
Yanks then lost 4-3 as the bullpen promptly blew up.
Halftime Katy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98WtmW-lfeE
I like where you’re at this evening tWBS
I wish Katy agreed.
Has the basket balling ceased?
Only for shortlyish….
Judging from the score they have yet to start
So, when is the game going to break out?
About the same time ryan tannehill does
He HAS a rash.
Things are getting weird on raw
Weird?
Yes moose, other people do things that can be considered weird.
Don’t worry, your weird ass gifs are still the best. Just leave a gif and lets go on our way
Hey, you are the raw dog fan.
Yeah youre god damn rightwait a damn minute!
He got me again guys. He got me again!
Welp, OK then. Just try to be polite.
Tie game, which reminds me I’d be willing to tie up Katy Perry….
(allegedly…and only with consent)
I’d be open to be tied up by her. I’ve never tried that sort of thing, but if Katy Perry offers, I’m not turning her down.
She is apparently into pegging.
Don’t worry; she’s probably not an angry pegger.
Don’t forget the ball gag.
That just gets in the way.
Or so I’ve heard….allegedly.
That makes you drool.
Probably
“Tie game” sounds like something David Carradine would invite a couple of Southeast Asian hookers over to play.
He’d need to take a breather…….
…. too late.
As happy as I am to see Urias back in the lineup for the Padres, I really just wish Andy Green would stop fucking with the lineup every night.
I don’t know who Andy Green is, but I will trade you Aaron Boone straight up for him. Or anyone. Or anything.
FOOD SCIENTIST: Shit! I accidentally mixed a bunch of orange and vanilla flavoring together!
EXECUTIVE: That’ll cost the company dozens of dollars!
FOOD SCIENTIST: Hang on…I just might have an idea.
And yet my idea of Cherry Apple Coke got me banned from the Coca Cola HQs in Atlanta. True, they said it was for skinny dipping in a tank of Cherry Coke, but I’m convinced it was for my perfectly reasonable flavor suggestion.
12 total points in seven minutes. That puts us on pace for a score of about 39-32 or so.
[goes crashing through canopy glass]
– French civilian
Is your name Goose?
I can’t seem to print to my wireless printer anymore. Not sure why.
Anyone have any ideas? Too much porn maybe?
Its actually a fax machine and you’re too high to know the difference?
Don’t I wish.
Is it plugged in?
Yep. I’ve rebooted wifi, machine and printer. It worked yesterday. Can’t figure it out.
Reboot printer then make sure it’s connected to the wireless network.
It just printed from the iPad. But no matter what I try to send from desktop….it no workey.
Honestly, I really like both of these teams.
But UVa is more disciplined.
Is it me or is the court longer?
– Brett Kavanaugh, in a hurry to get to a Nationals game and get so drunk that he doesn’t remember attempting to rape his own wife.
OK, I got a G riding, leave me alone.
http://www.sportingnews.com/us/ncaa-basketball/news/virginias-kyle-guy-says-ncaa-told-him-wedding-registry-violates-rules-sanctioning-body-disagrees/kxsi5mrtfn5v1x2q8vvw2nfye
NCAA’s response:
Listen here, PAL!
“Huh, I wonder if the Ducks made the playoffs so I can ask my friend to write a preview.”
[Google reveals that they did not]
“Hey man, want to write a Ducks playoff preview?”
She has a great O face.
There is a pink ring just before the brown ring.
“Of course the former bartender from New York would run afoul of traditional Southern values.” – The Voice of Raisin
I’m on That Other Site, but this comment is too good not to share.
Blacked.com has a comment section?
So if my stats are correct, neither virginia nor Texas tech have won a title before.
Which means we are guaranteed to have a new member of the prestigious “more national titles than Purdue!” Club!
UVa has been in the final four before, but never won a title.
TT has never been in a final four before.
There will be history.
Chris Davis is peak Orioles. Enjoy the games tWBS!
Are they still winning? I changed channels to watch Katy Perry.
Woah, hey now. I’m not watching. That could be bad for my health.
ESPN is just feeding me the lowlights of his at bats.
Bill Rafftery is already drunk I think.
When was he actually sober?
1972?
mutes katy Perry
hears katy Perry playing on the tv in the other room
Yep. Its monday
Blonde Katy Perry is the best Katy Perry.
You’d agree if she had been wearing gloves.
You’re not wrong necessarily, just trying to you know, be spared from her music
I’d say Quiet Katy Perry is the best Katy Perry.
Quiet awkward pauses with a naked Katy Perry.
Yeah, OK….I can be ok with that.
…. correct.
Followed by left shark
I’m not sure I want to live in a world where tWBS wins this year’s bracket.
Too late, no way that asshole can lose at this point.
Wait, I’m that asshole.
Paging Seamus:
Alexa Alert on RAW!
Is she naked or almost naked?
Almost naked is good enough.
No #HAILGAMBLOR for me tonight. Eating wings with the kid while some random crazy dude wanders around mumbling and saluting the teevee. Eastern NC, y’all. Bad even for the South.
No one tell Hippo that he’s really just looking in a mirror.
I hope I haven’t had that many pills? 😀
UVa – 1.5.
$1000
Had it it been -2.5 I’d have layed off.
Let’s do this
Before anyone says anything, this is house money at this point.
If I win tonight, I can cash out at over $10G+, even minus the vig, on an initial $250 layout when NFL season started.
If I lose, I’m still about $8500.
Let’s go Cavs.
Seamus. Buddy….
Yes. Yes. Let’s go Cavs. Because why not.
I want that $10G. It’s not about the money, though.
It’s about winning.
I’m channeling my inner Charlie Sheen.
I’ll gladly take it off your hands when you win.
That’s a good run.
But why cash out if you’re still winning?
I don’t bet hockey or baseball.
But the Orioles have them right where they want them?
joe mande coming in hott
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQanU6uDXmM
Fuck. I’m less mobile than a dude who suffered spinal trauma
Yeah. All props to Shazier.
Go get your fucking Lambo.
<3
This is coming to LA:
https://www.mlb.com/baseball-food-festival/menu
Worth it?
They are all bad
I would still go. That would be a BOTG if I ever saw one. Including the puking.
At least SOMEONE got it right by giving San Diego a fish taco!
WWE just wrote themselves into a corner. Kofi (Smackdown Champ) just challenged Seth (Raw Champ) for a Title vs. Title Match. Its a nice way to counter the NCAA BB Championship, but the either:
A. Make Kofi the Undisputed WWE Champion, a person two months ago wasn’t even considered a Middle-Tier Singles Wrestler let alone the face of the company.
B. Take the belt off of Kofi the night after he won it, thus ret-retconning “WWE may be racist” undertones back into reality.
C. Do a Dusty Finish, keep the belts on them and piss off their fans after a feel good, well done, but long-ass WrestleMania.
Or some NXT call-ups ruin Kofi’s chance & then work with New Day over on Smackdown.
Let’s say, The Undisputed Era?
I wish they would fucking make up their minds whether they want one overall champion or a champ for each brand. It’s only been 5 years since the last unification and 2 since the last separation.
Don’t get the Steelers’ moves but Arizona is basically an AAF team without the good fan fortune of them folding.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unwus_iwdSE
Re: Ralph Sampson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0FEqbXqcWE&app=desktop
I would like to make it a thing that anytime you go to buy two beers (and nothing else) at a baseball game you refer to it as a “Kavanaugh Special”.
it will replace the phrase “Utah, get me two!!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=madmJUo4T2E
Good thing you included the video; without context I would have assumed the phrase “Utah get me two” referred to wives.
Best meatball sandwiches I’ve ever tasted.
Oh shit, the bank is getting robbed.
some reading about pigeons:
https://www.lrb.co.uk/v41/n07/jon-day/operation-columba
So, NHL playoffs poolies, who you like winning the cup and most importantly, who do you like to put up points?
Tampa is a buzzsaw. They’re either going to win it all or flameout in spectacular fashion.
Caps gonna repeat.
/knows Caps are NOT gonna repeat
//Giggles a little
They have all the markings of a President’s (wait a second Canadaue doesn’t even have a president!) Cup winner who gets stymied in the playoffs when the refs decide to go back to calling games like it’s 1994.
/Haven’t actually watched a second of them play this year so what do I know
I’m definitely rooting hard for Not Pittsburgh
Go sharks!!!! They’re JAWSOME!!!
CHOMP CHOMP!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yvbwl9c1vB0
The only truly Canadian position (non-Toronto bracket) is:
1. Jets/Flames
2. Flames/Jets
3. Meteor
4. Anybody except Carolina, Arizona or Toronto
5. Carolina – because they should still be in Hartford
6. Arizona – because they are the original Jets
7. Another meteor
8. The Leafs
That is acceptable.
Bring back the goddamned Nordiques already
Nevar going to happen. Gary Bettman hates French-Canadians more than he hates Canadians.
found a funny:
Help! Lots of manta rays have washed up on the beach!
DISCUS CHAMPION: [rising from his towel] I’ve trained my whole life for this moment.
I don’t get it. Is he going to have sex with the mantas?
I think the Discus Champion, like all of us at heart, is supposed to be a cross between Steve Irwin and Jack Kevorkian.
And I’ve been to Lubbock
I’ll take, “Things I’ll be scrubbing from my on-line history very shortly?” for $600, Alex.
Boom! Hazard killin it.
just like that Chelsea back in it!!!!
Also, thank you Beerguy Rob for making sense of a stupidly vague question.
No worries. Interpreting the dumb shit teachers say is part of my job ’round the school.
This game starts so late, Scotchy might go to sleep and wake up in time to watch it.
Scheduling bastards! I was hoping to catch a little snoozy so that I could catch the tilt but work got in the way. I’m very close to done right now.
Well, work, supra se servitium
Gotta love wrestling fans for making something as amazing as Kofi’s world title win into erasing others’ blackness and other unsettling racist shit.
I just hope this is all building towards a Big E title run because he’s awesome.
My favorite hot take so far today is that it has nothing to do with race as though they didn’t explicitly bring up his blackness as a reason he didn’t get a real chance in the past. People are the dirt worst. And while I struggle to imagine them breaking up New Day ever, a turn by E tonight would be a storyline betrayal to rival Steen-Generico.
I like that idea. Maybe after his first big-event title defense.
Ralph Sampson always cracked me up. He always had a look on his face like…
HEY ALL YOU SHORT HONKEYS STOP SCREWING MAH SHIT!!!!!
LOL
And reflect on that a bit. Ultimately, RMK was too big of an asshole FOAR Lubbock
Lemme ask u globalist cucks, am I a trader for missing the start of Doyers/#BFIB to watch my oldest’s choir performance. Smh obvs
Not at all.
And there’s always the DVR.
Gonna radio the end of El beisbol and watch hoopsball DVR when return!
I’m gonna be bullshit when the Ice Giants not only slide back in the draft lottery, but New Jersey wins it and get Jack Hughes
We all better hide from scotchy & the maestro when Ottawa’s pick that Colorado has turns into Hughes.
Nah, I see Hughes going to LA or Ottawa for the comedy factor (because Colorado owns Ottawa’s pick)
In order of worst universes to best, the pick goes to:
Colorado (nee Ottawa)
Edmonton
Chicago
Buffalo
The rest
Holy shit, that’s crazy to see in print for a professional athlete. CC Sabbathia OUT (Angioplasty!)
Yeah, yeah, yeah – GAH – MY POOL!
Hoosier Daddy?
A large man from Chicago’s south side?