NFL News:
- Some mentally ill member of the Honey Badger’s family tried to extort between $1.5 – $5.0 million from him.
- A cousin in Louisiana was apparently going to tell the media that Tyrann Mathieu “did something” unless he got paid.
- When Mathieu blocked him on all media, the cousin then started texting Mathieu’s agent and friends about the threat.
- Honey Badger DID care, and he went to the cops, who brought in the FBI.
- A cousin in Louisiana was apparently going to tell the media that Tyrann Mathieu “did something” unless he got paid.
- Jon Gruden’s going to be pissed – the NFL has banned certain high-contact drills, in the interest of player safety.
- Including the star of the field, the Oklahoma drill.
- This follows up on a League and NFL Players Association program to produce a three-part concussion-reduction strategy:
- prohibiting underperforming helmet models,
- instituting a series of rule changes rooted in biomechanical research, and
- intervening in early training camp practices.
- Banning unnecessary contact drills is part of this strategy.
- To quote Florio, “The move is the next step in the evolution of the game, as the league hopes to identify and to remove any and all situations that entail unnecessary helmet contact.”
- The NFL Draft has been awarded to Cleveland for 2021 and Kansas City for 2023.
- 2021 will be Cleveland’s 75th anniversary in the league.
- Kansas City didn’t provide a compelling reason, aside from a historic venue (Union Station) where they will hold it.
- 2022 wasn’t awarded because there are multiple bids that the league wants to look through before deciding.
- Of all the new plays open for PI review, the one that may be exempted is the Hail Mary.
- They would be excluded from both instant replay and coach’s challenge.
- Downside: a “Hail Mary” formation would have to be defined in the rule.
- Which PFT rightly points out gives rulebook demons like Bill Belichick a way to still fuck with things.
- On the media front, the league made a number of announcements as it relates to broadcast start & run times.
- Sunday Divisional Round start times will now be 3:00PM & 6:30PM ET.
- The Super Bowl previously featured five commercial breaks per quarter, but will now have four.
- The “single-header” rule has been eliminated as a one-year test.
- So every market will get three games during Sundays in the regular season.
- There will still be “blackouts due to regional broadcast”, but instead of only getting one day game, each market will get its scheduled game, a regional game outside that scheduled game in the other game block, and the night game.
- So every market will get three games during Sundays in the regular season.
- The Vikings are attempting to keep Kyle Rudolph.
- Their current proposal is a five-year extension, but with team-friendly numbers because the Vikings, at present, only have about $500,000 in cap space & Rudolph wants approximately $7.5 million.
- Fortunately, the Vikings negotiator believes he can make Mr. Rudolph see through his intransigence.
- Their current proposal is a five-year extension, but with team-friendly numbers because the Vikings, at present, only have about $500,000 in cap space & Rudolph wants approximately $7.5 million.
Tonight’s sport:
- NHL: no games until Monday, but at least concluded TV shows are weighing in.
https://twitter.com/VeIeno/status/1131025221086076928
- CHL:
- Memorial Cup : Halifax vs. Rouyn-Noranda – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- NBA: no game until Thursday
- MLB: only MLBN in the USA
- Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
- MLS:
- NY Red Bulls vs. Whitecaps FC – 8:00PM | TSN
Look, I like baseball – it’s why I’m the Beerguy – but even I have to admit that just that on TV makes the space between more meaningful games in other sports look that much bleaker.The NHL has decided to start the Finals on Monday, and the Warriors wrapped up earlier than expected. We get at least one Raptors-Bucks game before the weekend, and once we’re there the boredom won’t matter as much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPt7P_XJg1k
Wow! I not only just ate a very delicious Honeycrisp apple, I ate the hell out of it.
And I’m spent
Also you all going to sleep before midnight Pacific time is some bullshit.
Hey, I gotta be rested if I’m going to stay one step ahead of the kids.
tWBS: I’m not quite sure what advice to give, but I do know that’s it’s okay to be sad while having depression, but depression itself is something to hammer down as much as possible. So I guess it’s important to be clear what is rational and what is the disease trying to bullshit you into thinking. I know this sounds obvious, but I’m just starting from zero. One of the ways that I describe that depression-induced desire for isolation and antisocial behavior that it’s a sickness and it’s basically convinced the rest of your brain to hunker down alone like we’re sick or wounded animals: no one can help and all we can do is harm others. But we’re not wild animals and we’re not going to make other people sick by exposing them to us. Depression is a lying motherfucker permanently residing in our heads, and the chronic battle is ignoring that asshole every day all the time, and sometimes it’s easier and sometimes it’s nearly impossible. So I get that “fuck everybody” desire and the self-medicating one (I prefer food, and there’s no better evidence of how bad I’ve gotten recently than seeing my weight go up). It’s good to talk to people, but not everyone. So IDK who you can turn to to talk things out with, but there’s probably someone. Or there are professionals. Exercise or walking or some kind of repetitive activity where you can let your mind wander is also helpful. I’ve felt so much better after going on walks without my earbuds bubble because I use the music or podcasts (the worst) so I don’t have to think about reality. Otherwise, there’s just good old-fashioned journaling and reflection where you just write everything down for its own sake, and sometimes you start writing and then ask Why? and answer that and keep asking Why? and digging and digging until you can’t dig anymore.
And sometimes life just sucks. But it’s easier to change when you’re clear on what exactly sucks and why and what you can do to address it in real, substantive terms.
Just a reminder that you’ve made it this far in life and that you’re stronger than you probably think you are, especially right now, and it’s okay to feel bad about shitty things, but you don’t have to feel that way forever.
This is excellent advice.
The only thing I can add is that when the voices tell me I’m worthless, I tell them something positive about me. And I keep that up until they shut up & go away for a while.
I have never made a Gratitude List of positive attributes and things to be grateful for, and it would really come in handy during the dark times when I can’t think of anything positive about myself. Especially because it’s most useful when I need it the most and am feeling the most worthless. That could have saved me a lot of trouble in the past, and I know I’ve meant to and talked to people about it, but this time I am doing it.
Shit, I need to do this, too. The black dog overwhelms when you need that list, so you have to find time to do it when you’re ok.
As for the people thing, I find if I’m withdrawing and spending too much time alone, it’s a sign things are about to get worse, so I try to remember to force myself to do something fun and/or active, and selectively talk to people I know will make me feel better, not worse. And having a therapist when you’re figuring it all out is really good as (at minimum) a backstop.
Thank you for your kind words. Sincerely.
And thank you to all of the rest of you as well.
I’m not “depressed” depressed. Just sad and very overwhelmed right now. I’ll be OK.
So how’re we doing tonight?
When life gives you French colonizers … Make sandwiches.
It’s a quality 1-2 shot of a punch to a glass jaw & a kick in the balls.
I guess that means his next coffee is free,
Florida or Russia?
http://www.plateshack.com/y2k/Florida6/fl2018IDG.jpg
Sometimes you need to pee and nap at the same time.
I feel sorry for his wife.
Fucking tourists
I’m looking forward to when Aaron Rodgers thanks his daddy at the his HoF induction speech and it cuts to a Rob Reiner looking guy in the audience in a full leather S&M outfit and with misty eyes.
https://twitter.com/RepKatiePorter/status/1130889201455685633
Surprised that wasn’t Chris Christie
Maybe is she said Double Cream Oreo’s?
It would take me too long to explain all of the reasons, and I wouldn’t presume to speak them publicly because they all involve other people. But I don’t believe I’ve ever been this sad/depressed in my life.
Life fucking sucks. King Hippo has the right idea. Take pills and fuck everybody.
Now, if I could just get someone to give me some pills, I’d be fine.
Leaving the East Coast will do you good.
If only I could.
That’s part of the sadness.
I’m stuck, man.
And after tomorrow, I have to go back to it.
That’s the worst part. It never ends.
But at least I got to watch the Orioles only lose by 2 tonight.
Better than I expected.
Pro-tip: when you have no expectations, you can’t be disappointed.
That’s not true.
It finally hit me. The algorithm is the problem with porn tubes just like with YouTube creating an explosion of flat-earthers in 20-fucking-19. Perverts with more time and less sensitive dick skin screw up the algorithm and now like every other video on the front page is incest or incest adjacent because we’re in Hell.
at least #BFIB ain’t get swept at home against the goddamned Royals
/sorry Ghost of Otto
FREE OTTO! From wherever he is.
did someone remember to check Lubyanka?
I thought Otto lived in Chappaqua.
Wide eyed Otto……
The Divisional Sunday schedule change excited me. No, UR sick.
Aaron Rodgers’ family is not looking so bad now.
anybody watch old Scooby Doo cartoons, and think “that looks like a dog that would smell pretty bad” – but then again, it cuts down on the Shaggy patchouli oil
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2xQJ3L1IhI&feature=youtu.be
Anyone else notice Amazon is making it harder to return shit?
shall we go burn down a few warehouses? I’m down!
Well why did you order shit in the first place is what I’m wondering.
I know I tried to return my Ellen Page Gold Star Lesbian Fleshlight and they refused!
Wait, I know about gold star gay, but gold star lesbian? How does that even work?
/To Urban Dictionary! Probably!
How it works is I got gold star gay wrong… I remember some actor talking about how he was a gold star gay AND was a C section, so I think that mixed me up.
I’m 90 pages in to Perdido Street Station-she’s a bit of a tough go so far but ‘The City and the City’ paid some huge dividends in the end so I’ma gonna stick with it.
You reading anything?
about halfway through that Inspector Irene Huss series Dok recommended (have ordered all ten)
I’m reading this because I’m a history nerd:
I’m picking my way through about a dozen nonfiction books and listening to the audiobook of some random novel I picked up off my library’s app because I realized I haven’t consumed much fiction in a while.
one of the few positives with my depression bouts is that I read A LOT more
Well, I have nothing but time. Not enough patience, though, but I’m trying. So you’ve got me beat in that regard.
it is just escapism
That’s fine. We all need an escape sometimes.
I should re-read The Sellout or Beatty’s other novels. That was a good book. Anyway, the top of the pile is Pleasure Activism, Becoming Wise, Palaces for the People, The Four Agreements, Getting to Yes with Yourself, A Brutal Friendship, Messy, and The Chickenshit Club.
I do have some novels to start: Parable of the Sower, A Pleasant Hell, 100 Years of Solitude, The Alchemist, oh … I started reading The Water Knife a few months ago and I haven’t gotten back to it, but that was good when I stopped.
I’m on Donnybrook on the recommendation of one of you DFOers. So far, not really my cup of tea.
#ItGetsBetter
Stick with it! Such a good story.
Berlin Stories now. Then on to the Harry Hole stories by Jo Nesbo.
have read all the Harry Hole series, it’s excellent
Great, great series but hard to recommend in mixed company for obvious reasons.
SPOILER!!!!
The last fiction book I completed was Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino. It is so good.
Only book I’ve ever re-read. Fucking magical…
Indeed. It’s quite something.
My restraining orders.
Description on google is verbatim:
Strange, dense, involved and minute can be used as well.
Started and finished “Small Gods” by Terry Pratchett on Saturday.
Because I love being discouraged right before bed.
Again, this passive-aggressive chickenshit was the Assistant AG responsible for all criminal investigations and prosecutions under Obama just after Wall Street destroyed the economy.
The public didn’t stand a fucking chance. Justice didn’t stand a fucking chance.
I’ve been running through Barry Hutchinson’s Space Team! series. It’s modernized Douglas Adams, with a little more pop culture and a touch less uncut absurdism. “The Guns of Nana Joan” was particularly good.
Other recent good reads (or re-reads):
1. Lamb by Christopher Moore
2. Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
3. The Influence of Sea Power Upon History by Alfred T. Mahan
4. Go the Fuck to Sleep (Audible edition read by Samuel L. Jackson)
5. Starfighters of Adumar by Aaron Allston
6. Collapsing Empire by John Scalzi
7. Book of the Subgeniux
8. Operation Mincemeat by Ben McIntyre
OKLAHOMA DRILL:
OKLAHOMA DRILL:
OKLAHOMA DRILL:
It’s Real (Sex) to ME!!
I’m pretty sure Gary Sanchez and Gleyber stores are engaged in a Legolas vs. Gimli-like bet on who hits more homers against the Orioles.
/Trying to fit “That still only counts as one!” in there
They broke Gary Thorne.
https://mobile.twitter.com/TalkinYanks/status/1131361341590200321
y’all Yankees let us know when a naked and very high tWBS has his What’s the Frequency, Kenneth? moment at the mound
Every time I see someone mention Gary Sanchez, I think of the guy who made My Name Is Earl (it’s the name of his production company) and then I think of this:
I can’t believe this series ended a decade ago. I’m old as shit.
Producer “Gary Sanchez” is fictional. The company is owned by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay.
Good god, the Orioles are already a AA team and now the home plate umpire has gone all Eric Gregg on them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mR3eK5gCChM
Was Larry Scott MLB Commissioner for that day?
The still on the first of the video looks like good hard core ump porn.
So I was all excited because the Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esquire is taking a document review gig and she was going to be billing at a lower rate than me (for the first time ever). She then talked to them on the phone and within ten minutes they had already boosted her rate so it’s now higher.
This is why this generation of womenfolk gonna rule the world. The power of not ever letting mens have another win.
/which I admire and support, to be clear
Make no mistake, I’m happy they’re offering her more. I’m not so insecure in my manhood as to complain about extra $ coming into our household.
My lifelong dream is to become a kept man.
#MeToo, too bad I am attractive in a grand total of zero ways
A day is coming soon where we all say “wait, you’ll still be petty enough with your girlfriends that you feel like you have to scratch and claw to be the thinnest and prettiest all the time…but you’ll also make all the moneys too? And I just have to do laundry and a bit of half-assed child care?? Uh, ok!”
The future is humans emulating lion prides.
FUCK, that’s good Commentisting
Well, the important thing is that men can still be…..men.
https://wgntv.com/2019/05/22/mississippi-lawmaker-punched-wife-for-not-getting-undressed-for-sex-fast-enough-police-say/
Did they even need to say “Mississippi?”
Alabama and Louisiana both saw this and simultaneously blurted out “Hold mah beer!”
I mean … If she can negotiate that, she fucking deserve the higher rate.
Meanwhile I … cannot.
How good was Dominik Hasek? He took the Buffalo Sabres to the finals. The Buffalo Sabres!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFgVUVNtRsg
Fun fact: a Buffalo sabre was what O.J. used to…oh wait that was yesterday.
Norm McDonald never stopped and neither should you.
I actually intend to do exactly that with Bob Kraft jokes. I haven’t even begun to get started thinking about all the potential “minimization requirement” jokes.
that was always rhe case, even when I paid attention to Ice Footy – goalies get hot, and when they do, nothing else really matters.
Have the Orioles tried… not pitching to Gleyber Torres? I mean Gary Thorne did say just walk him.
it’s still gonna be an Oriole pitcher, throwing to a non-blind person. Just delaying the inevitable.
Gotta manage the pitch count though. Just plunk ’em
I wonder if any Make-A-Wish kids has ever requested Trent Reznor to visit and tell the wisher to kill himself.
One kid wanted to meet Eminem. He showed up like this:
The Cubs are playing the Phillies tonight, the game will be on MLBN.
that will just be coverage of an old faux-hipster sniffing his own farts
Jim is a Masshole, eh? I thought maybe during the show they alluded to him as having gone to U*NC as well.
In other words, Hippo hopes he dies.
John Kraskinski went to Brown (huh huh heh heh heh ‘Brown’), and they mention Jim went there, too.
grad school? Or was this just a pill fever dream I had?
Undergrad and grad school.
Also, if you have to ask, just assume it was pill-induced.
No, not Brown!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osJyfLATy1s
that’s NAWT even a real Ivy!! sez the Hippo who went to Cow College
Oh what’s the colour of horseshit? Brown, brown, brown!
Used to sing that whenever Brown came to UConn for a lesser footy game.
No action sports-wise? I beg to differ. Let me get the ball rolling…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f9QHg9xai4
Socks must be at least 6 inches high or else you get fined in this league.
Like boxing, except you bet on the whitest competitor
“Even though this wasn’t quite what I thought it was, I still found it enjoyable.” – Josh Gordon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sakXIMbsS5A
“Hey. You know me. I may manifest myself in the form of a lack of friendships, a lack of money or love or empathy, of job prospects, of anything, really. Tonight it’s a lack of sports. Why? Just feeling really lazy, to be honest.”
-Dearth, King of “Nothing”
all Hippo has is GAMBLOR
#FeelTehDearth