Sunday Gravy with yeah right: So you feel like making a Burger?

yeah right

yeah right

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn’t plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
yeah right

Good morning everyone!

Damn glad to have you here.

Have you ever taken on a really detailed project, like for work or some shit? Maybe you had to move once and you only had a very short time to do it? Or I know! Your kids finally went to bed on Christmas Eve and you realize you’ve got a whole fuck-ton of toys to assemble.

Yeah, I like that one.

What I’m blathering on about is holy good goddamn do we have a lot to cover today so I’m gonna get out in front of this shit, get all proactive and get fucking rolling.

We’ve got a lot to do and we’ve got a short time to get it done.

For Memorial Day I grilled burgers.

For those of you who remember, I did a pretty damn detailed Sunday Gravy about building the better burger a couple of years ago.

Remember this?

Well sir, this past Memorial Day we came up with this.

And in order to achieve this we actually did (takes deep breath)…

This.

Along with this…

We also did this…

And even went so fucking far as doing this.

Goddamn right we did.

In order to achieve this level of insanity and have it all come together for Memorial Day I started the whole process two fucking weeks in advance.

I know!

I ain’t saying that you have to do all of these steps. I’m not even saying that this is something any sane person would attempt but if you’re curious how any or all of these components came in to being, then here we fucking go.

Component 1: Homemade Dill Pickles

(1) large English Cucumber – if you have or prefer a different variety use that instead.

3 cups water

1 cup of white vinegar

1 tablespoon of pickling spice

1 tablespoon of sugar

1 tablespoon of salt

3 cloves of garlic smashed with skins removed

1 bunch of fresh dill.

Special equipment: Mason jar(s)

Put the water, vinegar, sugar and salt into a saucepan and bring to a boil. Stir a few times to incorporate.

Meanwhile slice the cucumber into what is that? About 1/4″ slices? Sure. Note: You can peel the cucumber if you prefer but I discovered that after a couple of weeks of pickling it didn’t really matter all that much.

Smash and peel the garlic too.

When the brine has come to a boil, remove from heat and let cool completely. We’re not trying to cook the pickles here.

Start adding the slices of cucumber to your Mason jar like so.

You don’t want to overcrowd the jar but at the same time I found out that after a few days of refrigeration and absorbing, I could have added more slices than I did. As a first time pickler – of the cucumber variety – I erred on the side of caution. I filled the jar about 1/3 of the way then put a clove of garlic and some dill, then filled the next 3rd and did the same etc. Now carefully fill the mason jar with the fully cooled brine. You will probably have some extra. Fill all the way to the top of the jar then fit the center part of the lid tightly on top, screw the outside ring lid on just as tightly then sock these fuckers away in your refrigerator for at least one week and they can be safely consumed for up to a month.

I found that after 2 weeks of pickling the flavors were close to fully developed. I sampled after 1 week and while it was good, it was still a little too much cucumber and not enough pickle. Be sure to write the date of birth on the top of the lid.

As someone who isn’t the biggest pickle head out there yet still finds them harmless enough, these were really goddamn tasty. Dill forward with a nice punch of garlic. Very solid pickle.

Final pickle note: know where the idea to make pickles came from?

Damn right! This came as a result of having leftover pickling spice from when we made this.

Our made from scratch corned beef. You all should be pretty aware that I really do try to use up all of the random shit that I used for other recipes and as someone who is full blown obsessive/compulsive just seeing that jar of spices in my cupboard actually DROVE me to make pickles.

This was my very first attempt and it felt quite successful. My Grandmommie used to can and jar and pickle all the fucking time and after all these years instead of turning into my grandfather, yep, I turned into my fucking grandmother.

/sigh

Enough of that! We still have tons of shit to do!

Now one week after making the pickles and still a week before Memorial Day we decided to make…

Homemade Ketchup…Seriously

/recipe inspired by inspiredtaste.net

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1 medium onion, sliced into half moons

2 garlic cloves, chopped (about 1 tablespoon)

One 1-inch piece of ginger, peeled and chopped

1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

1/4 teaspoon ground allspice

2 tablespoons tomato paste

1 (28-ounce) can whole tomatoes or crushed

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

1/4 cup apple cider vinegar

Salt and fresh ground black pepper

Get a big ass pot going over the stove, medium heat.

Slice up that onion.

Then get after that garlic and ginger. Mince nice and fine.

Heat up the oil in the pan and then add in the sliced onion. Cook this until lightly brown, about 8-9 minutes.

Next, add in the garlic, ginger, allspice and red pepper flake.

Let this cook down for a couple of minutes, then add in the tomato paste. Cook until the tomato paste caramelizes. Maybe 3-4 minutes more. Next add in the tomatoes with their juice, the brown sugar, vinegar and the salt and pepper.

Reduce the heat to low and let this cook over a low simmer for 20-30 minutes. I went a half hour to allow the flavors to mingle. Lastly add some additional salt and pepper if needed.

Now.

The fun part.

We gots to blend this fucker. If you have an immersion blender, like my bad motherfucker right there, this will be a breeze. The recipe gives suggestions for blending in a conventional blender so it can be done but it sounds like some treacherous shit if you’re working with a hot pot of ketchup. Work in small batches and all that.

Then here we fucking go.

Let the ketchup cool completely, then place in a size-appropriate storage vessel, tag it with the D.O.B.

the duct tape is a nice touch

And store in your refrigerator for up to a month.

Yes, that’s a lot of goddamn ketchup so you’ll find yourself making foods that go good with ketchup just to get after it. The ketchup is very tasty as well and definitely leaves itself open for adaptation. I fucked around with the heat on one occasion by adding in a good scoop of my chile tepin to a scoop of the ketchup and that was really fucking nice. You could fuck around with various spices and herbs too. It’s a nice base entry level homemade ketchup.

Definitely better than the store bought shit.

Finally! Memorial Day arrived. The good news is I had 2 of today’s disciplines already made and chilling while I got to the speed round.

Sorry to disappoint anyone who wanted the recipe for homemade buns again. It’s up there in the Building a Better Burger link dammit. It’s also the same recipe that I used for homemade rolls both here

from Easter

And here..

From our smothered steak menu.

I just separated the dough into 8 pieces instead of 16 and made them, you know, bun sized.

But to show you that there was no cheating, first I did this.

You know with the bloomed yeast and the sugar and flour and the 10 minute knead dealie.

Then after a 2 hour rise, the punching down shit and the dividing whoosis, we got to here.

Then another rise got us all the way here.

The about 18 minutes in a 375 oven got us to glory.

“glory” I sez

One advantage of doing all of these homemade bread attempts was how fucking flawless the bread prep was this time. Dough consistency was perfect, both rises went off without a hitch and the end result was fucking epic.

Here! I sliced one for you!

Motherfucking Burger Time!

These buns are incredible and I probably will keep making them. Holy shit the aroma while they’re cooking and that homemade yeasty, slightly sweet homemade bread taste. Yeah, that shit is worth it.

Well, it wouldn’t be full on fucking madness if we didn’t…

Grind our own burger meat. I’ll tell you what, that goddamn Kitchenaid earned it’s fucking paycheck when this day was over. It did the bread thing AND the meat thing you goddamn glorious bastard you!

Let’s get to the grind.

Today we are using a big slab of chuck roast.

See all of that glorious fat? Oh boy oh boy! Since this is still probably only 90 percent lean to 10% fat we will need to step up our fat game by adding…

/wait for it

BACON!

Yep this motherfucker was about 70% ground chuck to 30% ground bacon.

FUCK YES!

One thing I’ve learned about the grinding game is to cube up the roast to make it easier to grind. It’s also key to remove any gristle or silverskin from the meat first. It tends to stick in the grinding gears. Cube it up to a good size that will fit the hopper of the grinder.

Next I chopped up the raw bacon and mixed it with the chuck chunks. Then grind away me hearties!

The end result gave us a nice, I would even say “smooth” bowl-o-meat.

I didn’t feel there was a need to add any “extenders” or binders to the meat, such as an egg or bread crumbs or what have you and they cooked up nicely but next time I may tinker with that. This time I simply formed into patties and seasoned with salt and pepper.

Next we fired up the charcoal grill.

This next part will come as absolutely zero surprise to anyone who has ever grilled burgers over an open flame. You know how hamburger meat tends to flare and get all smoky and shit during grilling? Guess what adding bacon to the party does?

That was one smoky motherfucker! We certainly weren’t troubled by any wasps or bees during this moment. Be sure to close your windows during grilling people. Just throwing that out there.

Now that these bad boys have been grilled let’s get to building that beast.

Get your bun sliced.

Get one of them patties on there.

That’s our ketchup next to the burger.

Don’t forget your pickles!

Look at them. They’re beautiful!

Slather on some ketchup, top with a couple of pickles.

And go to fucking burger town!

FLAWLESS VICTORY!

As someone who can take or leave pickles they just fucking WORKED here. Every component. What do I need to say.

Goddamn delightful. Every bite! As always do one, two or as many of these recipes as you like. Every one is rock solid.

Finally, there was one little thing left that I wanted to try.

Remember last week when we did the short ribs?

I actually made that the day before Memorial day for a reason!

I’ve been musing over the last 2 years since I got on this made from scratch burger deal about making a signature Sunday Gravy burger. You know how every fucking chef out there has their own “signature” burger.

Why the fuck can’t we?

Here’s what I came up with.

This time, I’m gonna toast that bun right on the grill.

Grab another burger patty, this one without the American cheese because we are going to add…

Some aged English cheddar.

/starts to drool

Lastly? I saved some of those glorious slow roasted short ribs from the day before for this EXACT reason.

The short ribs, mushrooms and some of those roasted garlic cloves go right on top of this fucker giving us…

/DRUMROLL

The Sunday Gravy Burger!

I may or may not have had to change the undies after this amazing bastard. Holy shit, it’s practically just fucking stupid to do this.

Practically?

You know? There’s a fine line between showing off and straight up fucking insanity and I’m pretty sure that line was crossed today. As idiotic as it may sound this was really fucking fun to do. It helped that I spread it out over 3 weeks because holy shit.

Hope I didn’t scare anybody away after this.

Thanks for reading along you wonderful food voyagers!

Actually I can say I appreciate your tolerance while my complete lunacy was fully on display.

Have yourself a good rest of the weekend and I’ll see you next week.

PEACE!

yeah right
yeah right
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn't plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
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BC Dick

Looks great, thanks. Definitely going to try making that ketchup. I’ve never understood why people put egg or bread or anything else into a burger. Just salt and pepper that before cooking and it’s perfect. Otherwise it’s a meatload sandwich, no? Interesting bit here on when to salt burgers. Right before or the proteins break down and reform and you end up with a weird pasty-looking thing. https://aht.seriouseats.com/2009/12/the-burger-lab-salting-ground-beef.html

Gratliff
scotchnaut

Dudes dressed head to toe in orange wearing silly Viking horn toques looking very concerned will never be not goddamn hilarious.

/not a fan of Portugallo

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, I enjoyed that visual as well.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just met a young couple in the hotel elevator. They were arguing, but gently, about what he should wear to whatever social affair they have going on tonight. He kept telling her he didn’t want to wear a button down shirt. She kept telling him he was anyway.

I started giggling.

Now these two were probably in their late 20s. Also, the young lady was very attractive. The guy not so much. So when I started giggling they both turned and looked at me. So I apologized, sorry, I just couldn’t help but overhear.

And as we hit the lobby, she stepped out first and I grabbed the guy. I said to him, she’s gonna win this fight anyway…Look at her and look at you. Do what she says.

He laughed, thank god. But I also noticed that she heard me say it.

Still though, good advice methinks.

blaxabbath

I’ll never get arguing with a s.o. on the position of accompanying them underdressed.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Yeah, I don’t really get why some guys are so allergic to dressing up a bit when it’s socially appropriate. When I see photos of Adam Sandler or Kevin Smith showing up to their red carpet movie premieres in a fucking hockey jersey and shorts while their female co-stars are wearing heels and a designer gown, I don’t think “what a down-to-earth dude” or “he’s such a bold nonconformist,” I think “what a fucking asshole.”

And of all the things to complain about, a fucking button-down shirt?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

scotchnaut

Silly Trend: Grandmothers, Goth-ers and soccer players dyeing what’s left of their hair in bright primary colors. Is this a thing that I will have to become accustomed to or is this plain silliness that I can ignore until it passes?

LemonJello
LemonJello

Wait for all those “edgy youths” to age with their unusual piercings and gauges.

Plus the brightly dyed hair.

scotchnaut

[scans Portugal’s roster, sees a “C” beside Ronaldo’s name]

“Huh, only a C grade? I thought he was way better than that!”

Wakezilla

Lost marks for being too rough

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, two shots of vodka is a pretty decent cough suppressant in a pinch.

Wakezilla

After I woke up choking on my vomit, I went to clean myself off and change my sheets. Not ready to go to sleep, I began reading your post, Yeah Right. I fell asleep near the end and dreamt I was eating your burger and it was fucking fantastic. I know what I’ll be making next weekend.

Fantastic hustle!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Baby steps, Karen Carpenter.

scotchnaut

Spanish speakers-is ‘Porto’ your word for the english term ‘Harboro’? Lil help, please.

Wakezilla

Puerto in Spanish means Port.

Puerta in Spanish means door.

I have no clue what a harboro is.

scotchnaut

Whoa. You’ve never heard of Cole Haboro? The birthplace of Sidney Poitier? The famous hockey player?

ballsofsteelandfury

Porto is the Portuguese word for port.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I miss Bon Scott. There, I said it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thanks for upending my characterizations, Virginia.

scotchnaut

Legend has it that Bronco Nagurski’s penis single-handedly ended the Depression. It was just that big.

Senor Weaselo

Shit, THAT’S what I’ll do with some of tWBS’s inevitable killing-me peppers. Nobody does pickled Reaper rings, to my knowledge.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Au Contraire.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can get you the recipe if you want.

scotchnaut

The Toronto Star’s front page is “Kawhi and Mighty”.

My rebuttal is “Raptors Win? Kawhi Not?”. I can pun too.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Subheadline: Marner seen at Starbucks today; Starbucks is green, the same color as Dallas; is he signalling them to offer sheet?

scotchnaut

“It’s too early to speculate.”

-George Eliot, Marner’s agent

Wakezilla

If Raptors lose, the title will be: “Jurassic failure”

scotchnaut

Gotta give you credit for going out on a (tiny) limb.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good morning, gentleman. I’m sicker today than I was yesterday. So staying in today and watching movies.
No appetite whatsoever, but I am about to eat Rice Krispies Treat anyway. A very special Rice Krispies treat. Which might actually give me more of an appetite I suppose.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That girl from La Cita called me and was asking about you.

scotchnaut

Is he into diapers? Like, for real?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t I wish. I really miss playing with that dog.
(euphemism?)

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I used Trader Joe’s marshmallows, which apparently don’t have gelatin, so the CBD oil didn’t mix evenly. Which means you are in for an adventure as to whether it will be mild, or, um, not mild.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll keep you posted.

scotchnaut

Does Scootland have a chance?

/just got in

herodotus450
herodotus450

It’s your classic 80 minutes of domination by one side only to still only have a 1 goal lead.

scotchnaut

Is we watching Port/Neth next in the YOOAFA thingy next perhaps?

King Hippo

yup, Hippo cheering FOAR Ronaldo and AGAINST Koeman

King Hippo

hope so, I predicted a draw, and like the Scotch-Irish half of my ancestry MOAR than the British quarter.

herodotus450
herodotus450

England literally taking the ball and trying to go home with it

King Hippo

it’s mah baby, gov’nur!

King Hippo

c’mon, Lady William Wallaces, 2-2 works!

King Hippo

I can see where I went wrong, I didn’t expect the Brits to be hot. But #3 for the Lady Cuck Liouns is a smokeshow.

herodotus450
herodotus450

She could be off my sides any day

King Hippo

I think the lesson here is…athletic girls RULE. There’s nothing the least un-feminine about it. And I am also ok with a girl who can kick my ass.

Like Dunstan said yesterday, it usually costs more to get that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, my cucumbers are starting to reach maturity so I am going to have to give this pickling thing a try. Now I just need to get my hands on some dill.

King Hippo

I fucking love cucumber. In a salad, or to beef up a juice.

But I hate pickles.

/continuing series of Jesus, how weird is Hippo, anyway?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Two goal lead is also the most dangerous lead in soccer, in that it causes us all to die of boredom

King Hippo

dagnabbit, I went on a limb and had 1-1 too

herodotus450
herodotus450

I was promised less flopping in this Cup of Worlds.

Don T

¡Madre de Dios!
comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

yeahright, I think chopped should test you for PEDs

blaxabbath

Unless I do chips (slices) my pickles always turn out not-crisp. Thoughts?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Illegal hand in the box, my life story

King Hippo

It’s a real race for silver medal, but…DonT is totes getting that gently used fleshlight:

https://predictor.fifa.com/match/leagues/leaderboard/1057

herodotus450
herodotus450

I am crushing Litre

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought this was golf scoring

Don T

Tch. Well…
/kicks back, puts feet up, gets yelled at by laundromat guy

Gratliff

Home made pickles? Time to put dad in a home.

nomonkeyfun

I love this fifa pick em scoring system.

I get more points for the games where I picked the wrong team to win.

Damned furriners not knowing winning is the most important thing. That’s why the VC couldn’t win against the USofA, but beat the crap out of the Frogs at Dane Ben Fu.

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Good book. Good example of why you shouldn’t seize the low ground.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Jamaican goalie, a girl named Schneider who’s somehow from New Jersey, comes up big on a pk stop.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Her grand-dad’s U-boat didn’t make it to Argentina?

King Hippo

and I guess someone in the family tree boned a Jamaican, for I don’t think there are many native honkies there

herodotus450
herodotus450

A soccer team from Jamaica? That’s crazy. I bet they make a movie out of it some day.

Wakezilla

Actually, the story behind how this Jamaican team is here is a real good one. 5 years ago, they didn’t even exist

King Hippo

Bob Marley’s daughter funded ’em, if I heard correctly.

Senor Weaselo

Warm Runnings? Because I bet it’s hot on the lesser footy pitch.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

My favorite part of the bar-crawl yesterday was when we all slow-danced together.

Ian Scott McCormick

Now put some peanut butter on it.

Senor Weaselo

-Elvis

herodotus450
herodotus450

Italian goalkeeper Giuliani: “There was no goal, not even close, in fact I’ve never even heard of this thing you call a goal, and don’t you think the goal should have to repay the money it took from the government to not be a goal? I do. Also 11/9.”
/Because Euros use Day/Month

ballsofsteelandfury

That Sunday Gravy Burger looks fucking amazing.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Hey yeahright, I think you changed that Uber driver’s life with your conversation on the ride home. Anyways, I think he enjoyed your stories a lot.