This past Thursday, I had my “every 5 weeks” haircut, rescheduled to 1:30.  I arrived before my stylist was back from lunch (fuck you, what kind of Philistine DOESN’T use a stylist??), so I walked around the corner to get a libation (as I am back off solid food).  As I waited for my can of Mango Habanero cider to arrive (fuck you again), I snapped this delightful picture of the bar chalkboard.  What a delightful name for a trivia team – Cunt Coven.

Like you, I no doubt have spent way too much brain space over the years on names.  Fantasy football, political message boards, #BFIB branding, what have you.  But this impressed me, as the Lesser Footy invasion mainstreams the use of “cunt” into American vernacular.  Maybe next time, someone will have adapted this:

Anyway, Everton start your Lesser weekend, with a crucial tie against West Ham (7:30, NBCSN).  Lose this one, and the already-salty Toffees will be demanding blood.  As much as I despise in-season managerial changes (absent an imminent player rebellion), the tide of unrest is strong.  Everton’s midfield has been dire all season, and the news that Jean-Phillipe Gbamin will be out until January (at least) really deflates one.  Sorry, Fronk.  Hippo really need this.

Spurs/Watford (10:00, NBCSN) highlights the main window, with 5 offerings on Gold.  Wolves/Saints and Chelsea/Barcodes could be watchable.  Even Leicester/Burnley is a 4th v. 7th position matchup, FFS.  The table is weird right now, and may stay weird.

Palace/City is your spotlight dance (12:30, NBC), and with Uncle Woy’s charges currently in 6th – I can’t rightly predict a snuff film.  If there is to be a title race at all, City need to get their shit together, and this would be a good place to start.

A sad, broken United hosting Liverpool (11:30, NBCSN) is sadly your only Sunday offering, and cuts into RedZone.  I call bullshit.  Anyway, per Wakey, Ole has already announced no Pogba nor De Gea, so don’t expect much from this’un.

Litre’s Obscure Team that Hippo Probably Bets On Of The Week!

Hi! Welcome back. Two weeks ago I got pretty drunk and wrote for the Saturday morning but the editor got the best of me and it wouldn’t post. Doesn’t matter it was me ranting against Hibernian and Celtic in Scotland.

Today we look at Kaizer Chiefs from Johannesburg, South Africa. These guys are one of the biggest clubs in the country and are have the most supporters in Sub-Saharan Africa.

These guys are also very good which is most likely why they have so many supporters. I only know of them due to the band from England who were Leeds supporters who loved the captain Lucas Radebe who came from Kaizer Chiefs.

History time from Wikipedia “Kaizer Chiefs were founded in January 1970 shortly after the return of Kaizer “Chincha Guluva” Motaung from the United States where he played as a striker for the Atlanta Chiefs of the North American Soccer League (NASL). He combined his own first name with the Atlanta Chiefs to create the name of Kaizer Chiefs.” We all learned something today.

Currently they’re in 1st place with a 4 point advantage on Bidvest Wits in the Premier Soccer League. They start the Telkom Knockout round this weekend K.C (3.25)vs Cape Town City (2.35), draw (2.70).

The team itself is predominantly South African with a few internationals sprinkled in, including a Serbian midfielder. I always am amazed at the journeys some players take to play this game. You have to think that growing up he never dreamed he would be playing in South Africa.

They play out of FNB stadium and have had plans to build a new stadium which not surprisingly has run into a boatload of financial problems. FNB is clearly shiny and new but the current economical climate has led to illegal underground mining which could affect the structure.

Their arch rivals in the league is Orlando Pirates (aaargh) and they compete in the Soweto derby every year which is very heated. I tried to see if they had any hooligan firms but it seems it is not well organized and the violence is just random craziness.

(Fulham plays Stoke today)

As for JV?

NC State (-3) at Boston College (Noon, RSN/ACCNX)

Shitty Wolves go into what has been a house of horrors for them, as a road favourite.  Gee, hard to see how this ends with Hippo getting blackout crunk.

Florida (-5) at South Cakalaky (Noon, ESPN)

This is the only other nooner that doesn’t involve a double-digit spread.  Shit, there are multiple 30+ offerings.  Blech.  Anyway, the Cocks rose up to shock the JV world between the hedges last week, but they are largely shit and I expect Mullen’s Gators to unload some hell today.  MOAR fun when was the Spurrier Bowl, no doubt.

Iowa State (-7) at Texas Tech (Noon, FS1)

OK, I missed this one on my first pass, making the aforementioned entry nonsense.  This will probably be the more watchable game, as Guns Up!! tend to come through with their backs against the wall.  This is a big number for Cornpone State on the road, against a non-doormat.

LSU (-18.5) at Mississippi State (3:30, CBS)

Vegas don’t think so, but this screams “Hangover Fixture” to your humble scribe.  Coming off a big win against UF, at night?  Starkville in the afternoon would lull you to sleep, if not for the oppressive humidity.  And the cowbells.  Jesus, them cowbells.

Oregon (-3) at Washington (3:30, ABC)

All Pac-Twaaaalve hopes of participating in the playoffs (for once) hinge on Quack Attack winning out, and getting considerable help.  Neither will happen.

Duke (+3) at Virginia (3:30, ACCN)

Nobody really knows what to make of Duke this season, but a win in Hooville seems a mountain too tall.  Victor has the inside track to win the Coastal, and get pounded violently up the ass by Clemson come December.

Baylor (+4) at Oklahoma State (4:00, Fox)

Other than maybe Minnesota, there is no unbeaten side quite as fraudulent as BayBay.  Expect a humbling cascade of paddles from the butch BDSM State crowd.

Kenfucky (+25) at Georgia (6:00, ESPN)

The Mildcats might have hoped to sneak up on UGA before the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party – but that was before last week’s upset.  Instead, they will reap the whirlwind of anger from a side whose third string out-talents their starters.  Easily.

Arizona State (+13.5) at Utah (6:00, PAC-12)

Look, I believe in Herm Edwards as little as humanly possible.  But 2 TDs to fucking Team Secular Big Love??  And no real teevee coverage?  Anyway, I expect to watch quite a bit of this.  Probably ends 12-9.

Michigan (+9) at Paedo State (7:30, ABC)

Perhaps Lesser Harbs’ last stand, since it’s a given he will get the khaki beat off him by tOSU.  Fuck both of these schools, fuck both of these coaches, and fuck all their fans.

Boise State (+7) at BYU (10:15, ESPN2)

Do tweakers ever wear magic underwear?  They do this week, as the predictable chorus of “hurr, durr, they can only play the schedule before them!!111” dies out after the Smurf Turfs lose in Provo.

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Balls’ La Liga Minute

So, there’s been some crazy shit going on in my favourite league. No, I’m not talking about the standings. As I predicted last time, order has been restored and the Top Three are, once again, the Top Three.

The craziness has, as it often does, come from outside the pitch and spilled into it. For the Americans reading this (and therefore completely uninformed about world affairs), the Spanish Supreme Court sentenced nine Catalan separatists to jail this week based on charges stemming from an Independence Referendum held in Catalonia in 2017 that was deemed illegal and non-binding.

This has resulted in violence and in the postponement of the first El Clásico of the season, to have been held next weekend. Barcelona plays Eibar in the Basque Country this weekend and you can expect plenty of sympathy amongst the spectators.

As you may or may not know, Barcelona’s motto is “Mes que un club”, which is Catalan for “more than a club”. In this case, however, that’s not just a marketing motto.

The club has made a controversial public statement indicating jail was not an appropriate solution. I’ve previously mentioned that the club and it’s officers/members are big supporters of Catalan identity and self-determination. Back in the Franco days, it was a symbol of resistance to fascism.

As I type, the events in Barcelona seem to be escalating, not diminishing. It remains to be seen how this will affect future Barcelona home games besides El Clásico…