Some might say I’m an hour late. I might say I got invited to an all-day college football drinking party, so kiss my arse. Really – it’s 50/50 as to who is at fault for why this post is on time versus an hour early like I regularly schedule it. But carrying a buzz through Penn State getting beat means I made the correct non-rapey choice, which in today’s social media culture means I win.
Did I just post some bro-country to justify my stance?
Tomorrow’s broadcast maps: (courtesy 506sports.com)
CBS SINGLE
█ Fairbanks
█ Honolulu
█ Carolina @ New Orleans – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo
█ Oakland @ NY Jets – Greg Gumbel, Trent Green
█ Denver @ Buffalo – Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon
█ Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton
█ Jacksonville @ Tennessee (LATE) – Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts
FOX EARLY
█ Fairbanks
█ Honolulu
█ Seattle @ Philadelphia – Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis
█ NY Giants @ Chicago – Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman
█ Tampa Bay @ Atlanta – Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth
█ Detroit @ Washington – Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber
█ Miami @ Cleveland – Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston
UPDATES:
- Indianapolis and Terre Haute IN; Utica NY: SEA-PHI to NYG-CHI
FOX LATE
This game will be nationally televised.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Leafs at Avs – 7:00PM | CBC
- Rangers at Habs – 7:00PM | City
- Blue Jackets at Jets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
- Oilers at Vegas – 10:00PM | CBC
- NCAA:
- Arkansas at LSU – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
- Kansas State at Texas Tech – 7:00PM | FS1
- Temple at Cincinnati – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Oregon at Arizona State – 7:30PM | ABC / TSN2
- TCU at Oklahoma – 8:00PM | FOX
- Utah at Arizona – 10:00PM | FS1
- Washington at Colorado – 10:00PM | ESPN
- Nevada at Fresno State -10:30PM | ESPN2
I’m already drunk enough that WineWife has written off the evening with friends that had been planned. VICTORY!
Sucks for Oregon
I like how sneezing makes me not sleepy for a few minutes
Did we make the usual Oregon joke?
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One of these days I’ll get Frinkiac right.
Download it and rehost it.
Fun Fact: you can buy Oregon Duck merch with Donald Duck on it dating back to an old handshake agreement Walt made with someone there, but you can only buy it on the UO campus. I wonder if that includes the new Portland campus now. I’ll find out next week. Anyway:
I’ve said it before, and I mean it.
Okay then. Let’s put an end to this.
I do so agree thusly. However? Yes. In that regard certainly. I believe this mightily. And then so? If it becomes as well, there you go.
BLOOD FOAR TEH BLOODEYES GOD!!!
Utah is ahead of Okies in the rankings now, I think they only need worry about UGA.
Watch Herm become the next Sea Truther.
I forgot that I had some moneys on Bloodeyes ML. WOO!!!
Arizona State does not teach Basic Subtraction.
but they do teach the pull out method
I plan to be hammered by Cowboys tipoff.
it dulls the pain
Big Love is ok but the Ducks are fun
WRONG. Secular Big Love are funner than hayell.
TAKE A KNEE, YOU MORONS
the Fluffer never stops
I always say GO FOR IT, but Bloodeyes can’t go the whole field if you punt here
My bad, coach.
SO SHOCKING that a side coached by Herm AND Marvin has trouble with end-of-game scenarios.
Miami just lost to Florida International. I’m pretty sure they can still win the ACC Coastal Division.
/Deion Sanders snorts three lines of coke to hold back the pain
//Deion Sanders would have done three lines of coke to celebrate
I wonder where the “hell 2 da naw” guy is?
For reasons of wanting to watch train wrecks, I am sad that I don’t get Browns-Fins.
BANANACAKES ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
I can’t decide if Quack Attack or Steerfuckers North looks more laughable tonight. SAVE US some good playoffs, Team Secular Big Love.
I think they needed to beat a 1-loss Oregon team in the P12 Championship game to have a chance though.
is still possible
They’re gonna need help. That fucking USC game.
Steerfuckers North will lose Bedlam Game next week.
And Arizona St. gave up 14 points.
I should put forth my services online.
Redshirt the Bad Luck Viewer:
Promise NOT to view and support your favorite team………………….. $50
Promise to view and support the team you hate……………………………. $75
…………..if playing New England Patriots………………………………, $95
………… ,,if playing Pittsburgh Steelers………………………………….. $150
……………if playing Michigan Wolverines………………………prima nocta
SUDDEN CHANGE THO
Yeah I know, but I already copy and paste “prima nocta”, so I was Pot Committed.
is always heartening to see ONE OF US sober enough to use a ded language on a Sabado
Looks like you’re going to need to lower those prices now.
It took me a bit to figure out, but “VGK” means “Las Vegas Golden Knights.”
They couldn’t just have used “LAS”? Or “LVG”?
Obviously everyone cares about this.
Can’t do LAS because the Stars are going to relocate to los angeles
The who? The Dallas Stars? They’re moving?
I was drunk, and therefore feeling mischievous. Although it would never surprise me after they bailed on minny, I have no information that the Stars are actually moving to LA
Because they’re not the Las Vegas Golden Knights, just the Vegas Golden Knights.
/cue Travis Kelce wanking gif
Live shot of the #6 Oregon Ducks
I don’t think she’s even a scientist.
Stupid friends. It sounds like I missed one fun game here at Temple/Cincinnati.
Punter kneeled while taking a snap on his 3.
Blocked XP returned for 2pt Defensive Conversion, which is the current margin.
Nice humble brag, haver of for-reals-friends
“I used to believe that…” – Mrs. Philip Rivers
<3
Some concerns about heat distribution with this rib roast. Interior is still way down at 90 degrees while the outside is up around 130.
Pig Soowie might as well ask to be transferred to Conference USA.
I feel like I’m underdressed to be eating this prime rib (and drinking this wine).
Are you at home? EAT IT NAKED
Marvin Lewis got FAT
Oh dear God can you imagine what’s going to happen to Andy Reid when he retires from coaching?
#FullTimeManatee
#EverybodyPoops
I like how they added that “won’t somebody think of the children!” Like, if this guy had just shit on MY doorstep, it’d be ok because I have no kids.
No kids? Your doorstep is shittable, friend.
That’s why I have a sign on my porch that reads “We have kids; please take your shit elsewhere.”
He can shit on the kids because they are short.
Man! Amazon’s delivery system has really gone down hill.
Davis Cup final tomorrow. GOOOOOO CANADA!!!!!!
Watching hockey in French is like watching soccer in Spanish: it’s much more exciting, because the announcers are more animated and I have no idea what the fuck they’re saying.
Tu ne parles pas francais? Quel dommage!
EXACTLY
I finally donated an entire bag of books today, probably 20 or so.
Then it dawned in me that maybe I should have offered titles and authors and see if any of you good folks were interested.
That’s a great idea for a post: used books for free! I’ll post some titles and let me know if you’re interested. We’ll figure it out.
Hey Rikki, I might have a copy of Martin Amis “Money” somewhere.
DFO Book club!
Fuck yeah I’m interested in that!
Once I actually get around to reading The Hike I’ll happily add that to the DFO library.
It’s pretty Meh.
Got guilted into taking family to MILs Church dinner. It’s been hard trying to hide the smoke coming off my body. Currently in the toy room with Toddlerzilla trying not to melt.
Basically, I’m Eddie Murphy in a Vampire in Brooklyn when he goes to church
Christ loves you anyway.
Godspeed.
Sounds interesting.
As long as you don’t have to drive.
Here’s a Montreal metro station with a pretty good café on the platform.
Enjoy your time underground; we’ll see you in four months.
Rage napped through the 3:30 window, missed nada
LOL
Gonna tell my kids this was Cam Newton
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EKAfqqzXYAAwkcl?format=jpg&name=small
Perfectly good copy of Shenmue 3 came in the mail and is now collecting dust next to my Xbox, and now I have to go find a PS4 black friday deal before my weird video game OCD forces me to go rob a neighbor’s house
Just go rent one from the nearest blockbuster
You mean the building that is now the 432nd dispensary to open in this town of 30k people in the last 12 months?
Pot or meth?
Do people just forget their brains the moment they step in to an airport? Jesus fucking christ I ran into 5 different people today who just stopped walking for no reason in the middle of a pedestrian walkway. Then looked at me like it was my fault.
Was it your fault?
No. People are fucking stupid, especially in airports.
That’s why they don’t let you bring guns there anymore.
I hate when an entire family group just stops in the middle of the concourse and look completely gobsmacked, like Gomer Pyle walking into a strip club.
Jim Nabors’ idea of a strip club was the showers in a Marine Corps barracks.
“The people mover appears to be broken. Hope they fix it soon.”
It’s a Calgarian thing. I was on the verge of losing my shit earlier today when the same thing happened to me
found a funny:
[When water has one thing in it]
SOCIETY: That’s gross you have to throw it out.
[When water has many things in it]
SOCIETY: That’s soup it’s food now.
Prime rib is on sale this week, which means that there is a properly salted prime rib in my kitchen just waiting to be cooked for dinner tonight.
Pounds?
Four and a half.
Is this an oven thing?
YORKSHIRE PUDDING TIME MUTHAFUCKER!!!!
Hell yeah, always do tenderloin and Yorkshire pudding at Christmas. At Korean New Year I do a Yorkie pudding.
You can taste the flavor
Dry age that bastard properly and it will be memorable. That’s New Year’s eve for me.
I like college sports because blowouts matter. So now we’ll all get to enjoy Oregon embarrassing ASU on national primetime tv.
Mason Rudolph got fined $50k. He totally called Garrett one of the Forbidden Words
Which one?
N one.
Which N word?
“Nincompoop!” – Eli Manning
The iron cross on Richie Incognito’s forearm is still glowing….
I didn’t realize he was from South Carolina. That makes Garrett’s claim a lot more plausible.
Oh, did Garrett claim that Rudolph is a career closet homosexual?
I should clarify that by “a lot more plausible” it quadrupled from 1% all the way to 4%.
First weird/creepy thing Toddlerzilla said to me happened today.
Toddlerzilla: Daddy, can I check your neck?
Me: Go for it.
/Toddlerzilla measures my neck
with a scowl on her face: Daddy, it’s only 25 seconds.
Me: Uh, is that good?
Toddlerzilla: No, that’s bad! No wonder only masquitos like you
Me: How did you know. . .
Toddlerzilla in the most matter of fact way: You need to be at least 32 seconds for the Vampires to like your blood.
Me: ……
It’s ok. Dr. Mrs. Mayhem apparently re-enacted the Salem Witch Trials (with accurate causes of death for each person) with her Barbies. She turned out mostly normal
“It’s true, I won’t go for anyone that’s less than 41 seconds, at least.” – Peter Thiel
“Our device only needs .112 seconds. And at least another $110 million in capital investment.” -Elizabeth Holmes
Youngest right ritualistically removed the heads from Eldest rights Barbie collection and put them all in a neat little pile.
Amazing how ASU manages to have uniforms that are both more bland than AND more obnoxious than Oregon’s.
Dinner:
I was leaning enchiladas all week for Sunday Gravy but fell back on old reliable beef stew. Got to use all of the veggies that would otherwise have been thrown out after Thanksgiving.
I’m trying man. I’m really trying.
Oh snap, asu v Oregon is on the one channel I get. This may be a good opportunity to HATE.
It makes the world go around.
HATEHATEHATEHATE