Well, now it’s the NFC’s turn to show us what they’ve got.
TO THE GAME!
Vikes/Saints:
-I don’t know, man. Poking around here, there and everywhere it just does not look that good for Minny. I guess an extremely heavy Derrick Henry-like dose of Dalvin Cook and a smattering of Mattison might slow the game down a bit. Perhaps another Diggs miracle at the end to for the win? I can’t see the score being close enough to matter.
-Hey, you know that fantasy thing you employ when you have Brees? You know, play him at home and forget about him on the road? Well, I did a wee bit of maths and his completion rate at home this year is 77%. Wr Thomas will likely be covered by Xavien Howard and that fella allows a catch rate of…. 84.3%. That spells disaster. The Vikes don’t have a cb in PFF’s top 50.
-“But Minny’s D has shut down a number of qb’s!” says yeah right. Well, yes-they’ve done quite well vs. backups and strugglers like Chase Daniel, Daniel Jones, Case Keenum/Haskins, Matt Moore, Kyle Allen and David Blough. They’ve been torched by the more capable tossers like Wentz (400), Stafford (433), DAK! (443) and Wilson (444).
-Shall we speak the name of Cousins and his enormous struggles in national spotlight games? His won/loss record for games on Sunday/Monday nights and playoff games is 2-16. It begs the question-has he been to a therapist? If so, he should think about switching it up and going to a more effective one. And he want to trade in that therapy badger, he’s so cranky!
-Prediction Time! Saints win going away 37-20.
Hit me with yours down below. Or just hit me.*
*tire irons are excluded from this offer
Amazing. Minny gets fucked over AGAIN.
His shield cracked? THEN HE IS A TRUE VIKING WARRIOR, SKOL.
Mark Calloway is 55. Promote a wrestler with functioning hips, Fox.
I thought he retired, but apparently not?
Came back for Saudi blood money in maybe the worst match of all time.
Yes, that is Shawn Michaels
Is his new character John Malkovich?
Meanwhile, HHH looking like a German pensioner at the beach
Is that beach near Chernobyl? Because my man is melting right there.
Wow. A “Loser Has To Retire…Again” match.
It is not an exaggeration to say they were all injured
v
Far from the worst injuries anyone’s sustained while on Saudi territory of late.
I haven’t watched any WWF since it was the WWF, and I somehow recognise everyone in this photo. Was this a special show for OAPs only?
Apparently, MBS is a huge 90’s wrestling fan and was asking for wrestlers who were actually dead, like Yokozuna
Fuck the saudis. The sooner everyone is driving electric cars the better.
Honky Tonk man still available
Monopolization both saved and killed american pro wrestling
It’s starting to spread out a bit more now with other billionaires wanting a turn and some of its top talent getting tired of WWE’s bullshit and leaving to do their own thing, but I’d wager it’s still like 90% people who only know of WWE at this point.
Is “monopolization” a new steroid?
There we go!
Is it Drunk Micheals and Fuckwit Collinsworth next? I would prefer Booger telling me water is wet.
Al Michaels plus Booger would be a delight
We can’t haz Aikman?
I think I’m rooting for hilariously bad QB play from Cousins in this game, everyone wins when that happens!
Vikings fighting on the sideline while their world disintegrates around them: and here I thought Ragnarok was a myth.
“Yeah Right Reacts Reasonably To Someone Boiling A Steak”
I still don’t think he’s emotionally recovered from my telling the story of my oldest spawn ordering her steaks well done AND butterflied
I’m sorry, what?
“I’d like the End Times Special please.”
they cut it in half at the end, and well done it EVEN MOAR. And I’ve seen her send them back for extra.
That steer died for nothing. NOTHING!!!!
she really might as well eat a dried-out sponge drowned in A-1 sauce
You know what they say, “Once you go brown, you never go back”.
So she gets all the old borderline rotten steaks, good for her helping to prevent food waste!
Captain Dingleberry is like a K-Mart varietal Tanny Fanny. With extra airbrushed Jeebus t-shirts.
Are these the Tribbles in the new Picard series?
Checks floodgates.
Not yet. Soon.
daaaaaaaaaaaaaam
That’s a pretty picture. I like pretty pictures
Taysom Hill made a throw? Apocalypse now?
[whispers] “The long completion, the long completion.”
And a block! Middle-aged white sportswriters everywhere just jizzed themselves to death.
Literally just saw a Jim Rome tweet about that. Ugh.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Iir9LDSl7qI/R36QVSlxgTI/AAAAAAAAJJk/u5Ey9W7ObV8/s400/DO+LUNG+22a.jpg
You know what? I’m feeling ok. Things hurt for about 10 minutes last night, but I’ve made my peace and am looking forward to good playoff football ahead.
Am I… maturing? Oh God, the horror.
Congrats?
I just don’t know how you can handle the endless disappointment that is being a Patriots fan
NOBODY UNDAHSTANDS OWAH PAIN
It’s not that we don’t understand, it’s that we don’t care.
Last night, one idiot reporter asked BOTH Belicheat and Dreamboat about “the fans who were behind you through thick and thin” and I was all like WHAT GODDAMNED THIN, THE YEAR THEY MISSED THE PLAYOFFS DESPITE 11 WINS??
The thick and the slightly less thick
Like an African-American strip club!
This worked for me at least 2-3 seasons after Our Equine Lord and Saviour won back-to-back. Don’t worry, it wears off.
Six Lombardi Trophies in a decade and a half kinda takes the sting out a bit, huh?
Some extra crispy Dingleberry today
He’s being his best self
Our First Courtesan would be SO PROUD
“Extra crispy? That was always my goal.”
-Karl Otto Koch
I don’t really have any strong opinions on today’s teams, who should I be rooting for in this one?
Gisele’s divorce attorney?
Louisiana took care of Alabama this year so can root for Saints praise Breesus
Depends if you want SF’s path cleared.
Pick based on your favorite colors
What’s your stance on the Packers? Eagles and Seahawks have a better chance of beating them in Green Bay than New Orleans
Anyone want a gently used toddler? He is in head to toe Heaux gear.
I know I’m getting old when I can’t bring myself to make a Lost Prophets joke
Forgot about that band. Yeah, he was a bad guy.
– J. Sandusky
These players that make a good play and then point to the roof of the stadium. Somebody should tell them that Ceiling Cat isn’t real. smh
nfl won’t let them wear colanders on their heads smdh may as well burn the constitwoshun
Obligatory:
THIS NEW ORLEANS DEFENSE, I CALL A CAJUN FAMILY REUNION BECAUSE THEY’RE GIVING THEIR ALL TO FUCK COUSINS AS HARD AS THEY CAN!
Well, there is another Pornhub search.
Betting purposes aside, I think New Orleans should give Latavius Murray all the early down run till halftime. Guy’s a fucking piledriver.
Bad call count
Vikings I
Saints
Edmund the Martyr would like a word.
[sorry]
Speaking of mixed race relationships, I happen to be in one-she ran Cross Country and I was a sprinter.
Premature ejaculation happens to everyone. One quick office visit and they will fix it.
Yours is better.
Well, I like to edge, but it’s too cold to be doing that outside of my neighbor’s house right now.
So you’re saying you got away at first but eventually she caught up to you?
Got it.
And now he’s the one who finishes in less than twenty seconds!
/edit: oops, I read the original comment wrong. Thanks a lot, scotchy, for making my joke fall flat.
J-Lo at the Super Bowl? Can we get GAMBLOR odds on an A-Rod appearance?
That director’s cut to Winter Soldier takes risks.
1 to 3
But A-Rod prefers girls with penises!
A-Rod prefers A-Rod.
Well…centaur A-Rod, but yeah.
You misspelled some celebrity I can’t think of right now that got busted, so it ruins the joke.
Could be risky for the The Shield. Bernie is killing it with the Latinx community and they are not happy about his lack of press love.
Should the field goals continue until morale improves, today is the start of Awesome Games Done Quick 2020. It’s been going for 2 hours and has already earned 40k for the Prevent Cancer Foundation.
https://www.twitch.tv/gamesdonequick
Free Trihex
They should’ve done a better job dealing with it, but you can’t expect GDQ to take such things lightly. They’ve yanked people off the couch for trying to be edgy in the past. They’re extremely inclusive for such a high profile event, and it’s a bad look to not do anything about such things, especially when they have so many LGBTQ runners and hosts.
Oh shit. Thanks for the heads up. I’ve been binging Kaizo Mario GDQ runs for the last couple of months.
Do you think Sharpie™ is happy that Trump signs everything with their pens? I mean it’s publicity, but I know I don’t think Shapries are as cool as they used to be.
There’s no such thing as bad press.
White Out is going to make a killing I’m the Warren administration — and then get taxed at 300% because socialism — just a tip for the Losers Investment Club.
Shharpies kinda suck and aren’t nearly as permanent as they claim to be, yet I have no idea what a competing product is.
Let me check with reddit…oh. Um. No, they are as popular as they have ever been.
Why isn’t this a blowout yet? Brees does know that Xavier Rhodes plays for Minny right?
Woke up this morning and noticed that I have quite a few more grey hairs-I blame Josh Allen’s wacky qb play.
Oh, are the Saints still a defense optional team?
11th in DVOA, so they’re still pretty good
Haven’t allowed a 100 yard rusher in 42 games.
In today’s NFL defense is against the rules.
Looks at liquor cabinet. Dr. Pepper and Mescal? Seems like that kind of day.
Maybe not the best combo, but probably workable.
Let’s add a crepe.
*loud gagging noises*
so how is it can i try some
It’s confusing. I mean, it will work. Next one will be Dr. Pepper and Spiced Rum, I know that works.
Just so happy from yesterday (and mad about the Derby, even though I won moneys on the Shite) that having trouble paying attention today. That hitting anyone else?
I’m sorry, what were we talking about?
scuse me why is there something called a “Kirk Cousins” on my television brb gonna email the FCC
Medicine change induced anxiety here. Can’t hold a thought. Feel like someone put a Shake Weight in my stomach.
I’m playing someone in daily fantasy named Bumhunta.
[stares daggers at Scotchy]
Hehehe.
(Also might be a different kind of bum so don’t turn your back)
[slowly lowers binoculars]
Wait, enjoyed yesterday so much….
New England is out of the playoffs?!
Why it’s Christmas Day!
Nothing to see here, move along.
Bring out your dead!
Canada-you’re frickin’ awesome for showing a never-ending parade of mixed-race couples in your ads.
But not tey gays, ’cause jeebus is watchin’!
Actually, off the top of my head there’s at least one car ad, a paint store and a Honey Maid thingy.
Okay, only semi-hot lesbians? That’s good for sales.
Fucking Vikings are a constant disappointment
-Shield Maidens throughout history
How do you think the NFL is going to punish the Patriots now that they are OUT OF THE FUCKING PLAYOFFS WOO. Ahem. Another couple of draft picks?
At least next year’s #1, probably MOAR
No;, but their wrists will be slapped HARD.
Now that the dynasty is over, there’s no incentive to go soft (heh, going soft and Kraft)
I’m not so sure, but I hope you are right with the conspiracy.
Did someone say Ming Na Wen?
?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=286827460b1bf2ef6efe03d5aaf858354e21e36a
Always did like her.
If we did a kommenter draft of “celebrities over 50” I…well, I’d undo a bit of KSK history and take Susannah Hoffs this time. But if for some reason I had another first round pick I’d use it on Ming-Na.
No longer want to walk like an Egyptian?
Marisa Tomei or Lea Thompson are my picks.
Suzy Kolber herself is only getting hotter every year
Thielen self-purging!
Family has been put on ignore (well, more than usual). Let’s see what happens.
Can’t help but to wonder if either Yeah Right or Taj is ded already. Or both.
Still waiting for Yeah Right to take me from instapot bone broth through a stew/soup.
Lazy bastard.
I did a stew in the Instantpot yesterday. I love that thing.
I like Drew Brees. It’s a shame he has to share his era with cheating Tom Brady and the cheating Patriots.
::Gets hit late by Jonathon Vilma, who takes an envelope of cash from Gregggggg Williams::
What is Erin Andrew’s betting prediction-a back door cover?
Wink!
I’d take her to plow town
That’s a sweet jacket you got there, Mr. Plow.
Go the Vikings today, and next week under the very specific circumstances that Philadelphia wins both weeks as well
Sweet! Forecast for tomorrow is sunny with a high of 76.
NICE (plus seven)
41°. You gotta love Cincinnati Winters. Too warm for winter, too cold for spring.
I always hated that temperature range. Everything is basically just a cold and muddy mess. I’d prefer it just get cold enough for things to freeze.
Tom Steyer doesn’t seem like a bad guy….but I ain’t voting for him.
You got that commercial too, huh? I thought it was only local.
He always pops up when I have YouTube playing Taylor Swift videos (for Blaxito). I get that this is a most probably climate change audience but, also, my one year old also cannot vote unless Maxine Waters busses him over to CA to vote illegally WITHOUT VOTER IDENTIFICATION…
You realize that we in California have now moved on to vote-by-mail? It’s great because it makes all the voter fraud we commit SO much easier.
Sure he’s gotta postmark it from a cemetery across state lines though….
He seems to be running like a Democratic Trump (“I’m rich but I’m a good rich.”)
Weekend reading:
https://www.seattletimes.com/business/local-business/station-master-how-an-engineer-from-egypt-built-one-of-the-biggest-gas-station-chains-in-the-northwest/
Hey! I was gonna do that if I had the idea, capital, knowledge, work ethic, and geographic proximity to the PacNW!
He’s taking my jerbs!!!!!!KAG!
Oh! I ran into a cast member from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D this morning outside the farmer’s market. Was it Chloe Bennett? Ming-Na Wen? Adrianne Palicki? It was not! It was this guy. Nice fellow.
/revision/latest?cb=20190805224422
I figure mid-level actors don’t mind being accosted by people like me, because it probably doesn’t happen enough for them to get sick of it, and if you recognize them it probably means you are a fan of whatever they are on.
Well, until he sees you hiding out at night in his shrubbery.
He’ll have to wait until I finished!
Oh, it wasn’t Palicki? Nevermind.
Sticky shrubbery.
Very nice! Love that show. That reminds me I haven’t seen the latest season yet. It appears to be on Netflix, so I know what I’m doing after Føôtbåll today
Which veggies does he grow?
His name is X-avier Rhodes and we need him to be great starting today. Expect to see a Sendejo sighting since we’re missing Hughes on the back end.
We know this team and they know us. Don’t just write it off.
See you all after the break.
Oopsie.
Jamin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibL0ar4z1bo
Any honest Chargers fan: “Philip Rivers was a legendary quarterback for the Chargers, gave everything he had to the team through thick and thin, made spectacular throws to a Who’s Not Who of receivers (aside from Antonio Gates) and was the beating heart of a franchise beset by worthless owners, but I really wish we would have kept Drew Brees.”
True that.
“And he used his time with the Chargers to put together a small replacement squad of future players and cheerleaders, peeple forget that.”
I bet this game is decided by a literally criminal penalty call that is justified by the officials as being “common sense”.
I really want this to happen
We can set up a schedule rotation for visiting the surviving right brother in the pokey.
I don’t, because it will benefit the Saints, and I don’t want to see the entire West Side of Los Angeles burned to the ground by a raging Vikings fan.
Predicion – Belicheat wins the tug of war (heh) with Kraft, stays in NE with Red Rocket at quartered back.
Dreamboat retires or goes to Clippers du Merde.
“All the Right Moves” is a really underrated sportsball film.
We didn’t quit, YOU quit!
Committing pass interference in a critical situation? They should call this movie “The [Raiders cornerback] Story”.
I refuse to re-watch for fear that it might suck but I frickin’ loved it as a young fella.
Haz Lea Thompson’s tittays? Can’t remember.
I think so.