See, this wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for the stupid leap year thing. Criminy.
I’ve got a lot to say. But I’m not gonna.
Leap year can go suck my nuts.
As can Covid-19.
I’m not dead. I have food. And water. I just put some plants in the ground. I have shotgun shells.
But the world has still screwed my life up royally. And I am not happy. Meh fuck it.
–
Sports Which No Longer Exist 2Nite
NBA
Washington @ Boston – 7:30pmEDT – TV: NBATVBrooklyn @ LAC – 10:30pmEDT – TV: NBATV
NHL
San Jose @ St. Louis – 8:00pmEDT – TV: NHLN
NCAA BB
* Yes, I typed all of that a few nights ago before the whole world got cancelled.
I’m supposed to be in Florida right now drinking beer and watching the Orioles lose horribly. But I suppose I can take solace in the ability to say the Orioles didn’t lose today.
- NBA – Suspended indefinitely.
- NHL – Suspended indefinitely.
- MLB – Spring Training go buh bye. We’ll see what happens a day or two before opening day.
- NCAA BB – Conference Tourneys and NCAA Tourney Cancelled.
- Soccer – Gone. This might be the one silver lining. Yes you can yell at me foar that one but I had to take the shot.
- The Masters – Yep, that’s gone too.
- Boston Marathon? – Postponed for now. Don’t get your hopes up. Then again, fuck Boston.
- WxSW and Coachella Music Festivals – Buh Bye.
- Pearl Jam and Green Day? – Both cancel tours, among other acts.
- Broadway Plays? – Nope. They’re gone too.
- St. Patrick’s Day? – Low Commander is gonna have to drink himself to death at home this year.
Yeah, forget about all that shit up there.
Am I still allowed to jerk off or what? Because that’s about all there is left!!!!!!!
(and I’m too damned old to do it with anyone but myself)
–
OK, Here’s Some Pertty Girls
They might need food or water, so be kind.
If they ask for toilet paper, tread carefully.
Enjoy…
I WAS IN THE POOL!!!!!!!
–
Ok, say what you want tonight. Just be respectful of one another.
Life sucks right now. Fuck it.
–
Must be U*NC grads
https://imgur.com/vCy2Vgl
She seems nice.
I feel like Grey’s Anatomy is just straight up trolling me, personally, now. Tonight they’ve got a soulful, stripped-down cover of Modest Mouse’s “Float On”.
Yes. I told them to do that.
I like RTD’s post because I have no idea what he’s talking about. Well done sir!
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/0795991334d3912346b581f6152cfc09/dance
I’ve got this healthy quinoa ramen, so i’m good for quarantine. I should probably go buy some liquor though, just in case
To be fair; this is my exact diving technique.
If you don’t know the depth, better safe
“WE COME IN PEACE.”
That’s terrifying
I thought Chuck Taylor was taller than that.
But he does have nicer boobs than I remembered.
Well, you can always stay home and catch up on your reading.
I’ve been reading The Godfather books. They’re good. Will watch the movies when finished
I guess she is reading one of the classics….
The scene where they beat up the guys that assaulted the undertaker’s daughter is just delightful. “Either one of them gets out of the hospital in less than a month you guys go back to driving trucks!”
Find out the truth about Sonny’s girlfriend.
I’ve had the original on my shelf for 15 years. Inherited it from my older brother.
Maybe one day.
I think in times of crisis, it’s best to get back to the basics. Please join my kickstarter to bring back goth vampire cybersex on mIRC.
Okay, time for the sexy.
Civ update. I am not very good at Civ VI.
I can helps. What civ you playing with which settings at what level?
Scotland, at Settler. It’s been years since Ive played Civ, so re-learning what makes them all tick and best ways to succeed has been interesting.
You really have to customize play style to the civ you’re playing. That said, settler is fuckin easy. Play around with all the different civs, learn the strengths and which victory type is best for which civ, then crank it up. Scotland is interesting, I would call them medium diffculty. I’ve been on a Kupe kick
My last playthrough I got to focused on building culture I neglected military spending. Zulu ended me pretty quick
I still want to get a DFO civ game going
Saltwater cures all. I think.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-66h7hHWx8Q
Montreal bus, 3/13/20:
Let’s do that hockey!!!!
Oh wait, they cancelled the season for now. THANKS OBAMA!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ij4a6x_mPs
There’s so much hand sanitizer going around that in 30 days only super-germs will be left.
I’m still eating food i’ve dropped on the floor for 5 seconds or fewer. No superbugs in my apartment
5 seconds? Screw that. If it’s less than five minutes I’m good.
Unless you’re using a stopwatch it’s all relative
Dok, you know me. Do you think I’m carrying a stopwatch around? I can’t even read my regular wristwatch without putting my glasses on. In fact, fuck this thing. What’s the point?
Next couple a days is good for me.
Note to self: Go and eat at Moose’s house.
Doesn’t work with ice cream, though.
I don’t want to sound unsympathetic or anything because we need to be pulling each other all through this.
AND
The bombardment of “and don’t forget our non-elderly victims of this: those with weak autoimmune systems who might not want to talk about it; the hospitality workers losing their hours; etc, etc.” Yeah, I know but during a pandemic is not the time we figure this shit out. You know that election coming up? ESPECIALLY THE CONGRESSIONAL ONES? Fucking elect people who prepare for this shit. The CDC get a billion dollars a years this dick is just wasting that money by putting his corrupt toxicity all over the government.
Fucking Pence is out there jerking off their biggest corporate donors WHO AREN’T EVEN DOING A GOOD JOB to the entire nation IN THE EYE OF A GLOBAL PANDEMIC THEY ARE FAILING TO PERFORM DURING simply because they give Trump big money for this power AND advertising.
So go fucking get rid of these assholes. We can’t have anything nice under these pricks. It’s an absolutely horrible way to live, stock market drops be dammed.
So fucking true.
Yep, but given US politics this means at very most a 50/50 senate
With Trump not getting himself tested after being exposed to the Coronavirus, history of not listening to people’s advice and shaking everyone’s hands at the press conference, I think if we give it time, this thing may sort itself out.
People keep saying that, but if Trump does die, then what? Pence will probably be dead or sick also, and while we can go down the list of succession, everyone is older and therefore at risk, plus this close to an election people are going to be more cautious about stepping into power if they don’t think they could keep it
We’re so close to getting a temporary anarchy (which could be ok) or a true strongman (which wouldn’t be ok at all)
The universe is not going to let us off that easily. It’s going to slowly and cruelly kill us because the universe doesn’t give a fuck.
Vote for me
I have received one vote.
If you want real change in this country WE NEED TO DO BETTER THAN THIS.
I’ll vote Brick. In fact I’ve got the slogan….
Brick Upside Yo’ Head 2020.
It’s catchy, right?
I’m keeping myself entertained by coming up with new conspiracy theories. My latest: Covid-19 is a ploy to increase birth rates in people of fertile age via quarantine! Is it a coincidence that it mostly kills people past reproductive age ???
You didn’t hear the one about the virus being a Chinese bioweapon that escaped from a Wuhan lab?
Nah, it escaped from a Japanese lab, liberated by accident by some PETA whale folk
I tried to tell you people not to eat undercooked dogs.
Nobody ever listens.
Hey, i’ll eat an octopus while it tries to strangle me no matter what the planetniks say!
LOL. I love watching videos of people trying to do that and the octo more or less says “fuck you asshole” and they nearly die.
True talk, octopus is probably the only animal I legit feel bad about eating, even if it issuper tasty
Never have partaken. And I’m afraid to ask, but what does it taste like?
D licious.
But honestly, it is something that needs to be cooked correctly. Badly cooked and it’s horrible.
Well yeah. When a tentacle goes up your nose it ruins the day for everyone.
This. Badly done it’s rubbery as shit. Correctly done it’s like God melting in your mouth
China is saying it was an American bioweapon released at the Military Games (which is a real thing, it seems).
Oldest GTD said this is the beginning of the “Handmaid’s tale “
Better or worse than ‘The Stand’?
Both suck, but I guess the stand is better?
I actually had an investment strategy that was vaguely based around that. I’ve got another one, though – see above.
Sports: Cancelled or Postponed to avoid getting us sick
Museums: Closed to avoid getting us sick
Casinos: Closed to avoid getting us sick
Movie Theatres: Closed to avoid getting us sick
Amusement Parks: Closed to avoid getting us sick
Our Places of Employment:
So, I hate to be the contrarian (yeah, I know, I really love it), but I think we’re missing the big picture with all this talk about the virus and society collapsing and the world coming to an end.
I had a really good day today.
Traffic was light. It rained buckets in LA, which we very much need. Call me whatever you want, but there’s always something positive that comes out of perceived negatives.
I’d agree with you, HOWEVAH, I’m down to 1 (one) roll of toilet paper.
Three words: Garden hose bidet.
I, for one, am off to pornhub to see how this works.
First question… Where do I stick the garden hose?
Translation: Balls jerked off in West Hollywood just before rush hour.
Why before? Isn’t it obvious I need an audience?
Asia lives in West Hollywood. Want an address?
You and I have different tastes…
Yeah, you say that. But let her back that ass up and, well, yeah that.
She’ll turn ya.
Litre: CALL HER THEN!!
Yeah. Give him time. That will be verbatim his opinion.
See? Everyone is overreacting. This is just you’re usually run-in-the-mill Friday.
In all seriousness, the world is not ending. Society will still be the same dickbags they’ve been for decades..
But being careful is the prudent thing.
jUST STOP CANCELLING MY FUCKING SPORTS YOU ASSHOLES.
Liga MX is still playing!
(found a funny on Facebook – in between all the Trump devotionals)
I’ve fought too hard and shed too much blood, sweat and tears to be taken out by a cold named after a light beer!
I say we secede from the Union and name our new country Coronaland. We make our first law: “the markets can only go up, and free imported brides for everyone.” Trump will have no choice but to surrender to us.
Ohio just began a Mandatory 3-week Spring Break. This joke is all but mandatory.
Ohio Governor just made the casinos close. They never close.
The county just closed all the libraries. Yesterday the governor cancelled every gathering of over 250 people. The MLS/NWSL season is toast (no one noticed). Walking home from the train station the city seemed even more deserted than normal. I lucked out on stocking up and even if I don’t, I’m a big boy. I can stand to lose some weight.
I hope my older neighbors are okay. They’re the closest people I have in this city. I just have a brother. My friends are in other towns with small kids. I don’t worry about myself. I worry about everyone else.
“You could worry about us.“
– Old Ass NFL owners
Fuck it.
It would be nice to have an opposition party in this country.
It would be nice to have an opposition party in this country that wasn’t stocked to the gills with clowns who are even stupider than the Republicans.
Good point. The monkey’s paw requires wishes be extremely precise.
No sports, ZZ Top documentary it is.
Why hasn’t anyone demanded Pence and the Cabinet invoke the 25th Amendment. I know that Pelosi and Schumer and all them don’t care because they’re unaffected and everyone they personally know will be, but the rest of the world is going to fucking suffer and die because we’re being led through a crisis by the last person in the world who should be.
We’re all going to die, sooner or late, but many are going to die sooner than they/we should. It’s fucked up, I know, but there you go. With Trump as President, we are all simply Jews in cattle cars headed to Poland.
Big if true.
25th Amendment proceedings have to start within the Cabinet, so it has nothing to do with EVIL ESTABLISHMENT DEMOCRATS (who have, you know, IMPEACHED the asshole).
Pelosi has absolutely done what she can vis-a-vis Trump. Schumer’s lame, but has zero authority in the Senate.
They can make demands.
Demands??? They impeached him and lost. They can’t demand shit. Pelosi and Shumer are losers, like the Buffalo Bills or the Atlanta Falcons.
That is the real problem. They blew their wad and in the dumbest, worst way possible. It was always a loser, but they … Fuck it. Now it’s all fucked.
This is where we are headed. I’ve been told in the past that I both physically and temperamentally resemble the Night Rider. I guess that is both cool and fucked up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfJVmzthD3Q
I cannot tell you how fucking pissed I was, when I otherwise don’t want to give a shit, to read that Karlie Kloss’s father is asking for advice to give to Jared Kushner.
I can’t believe this hasn’t been posted already.
Hey good news! I was sniffling and feverish and I was certain I had the Corona virus, so I went and got tested and guess what? Turns out I only have the clap! Must have been that time I regained consciousness in a shopping cart in an alley in Gaytown with no idea how I got there and no underpants either. I didn’t think much of it at the time but now I’m wondering what really happened. Oh well, I’m so glad I don’t have that filthy loser virus.
Oh that reminds me. I’ll mail you your empty wallet on Monday.
And god help you if you gave me the clap while you were unconscious.
And you are so far away from the Mexican border. You are still lucky just to have both kidneys.
I like to drive “South of the Border” and get authentic tacos in Vermont.
Candid photo of every DFOer right now
This kind of gives me a razor-thin edge of hope. But it’s probably just mental masturbation.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/03/13/coronavirus-testing-katie-porter/
She’s awesome and ain’t afraid of nothin. Wanna see her in the Senate someday.
White House would work for me too, although a policy wonk as President may be problematic. Still, love them steel ovaries at work.
And so many men (and women!) are afraid of strong women. She would be a nightmare for the assholes in this country (like Mike Pence but less literally). It’s why I wanted Warren.
Too many are just plain afraid of women, strong or not. We are in the end stages of civilization. I’m just glad I got to see the best of the progressive movement, and as a student of history, I guess I should be glad that I get to live through how fucked up things can be, which is where I am sure is where we are headed. Let’s be honest, we’ve been in a low-grade civil war for a couple of decades at least.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isCh4kCeNYU
Really should’ve let The South go in the 1860s. Or now. They can go now.
Did you ever notice that the end of the American moon landing program and the beginning of the demise of the American middle class coincides exactly with the rise of the women ‘s movement?
Never thought we’d have Rush Limbaugh as a secret DFO commenter.
Hey I’m all for women presidents as long as they have big tits.
And are not afraid to expose them! Come on, Ms Palin!!
She’s repulsive.
Well, someone is going to need to replace Biden
She make a fine Senator or President. Too bad she’s a woman.
Haven’t been by here in a couple of days, figured what’s the point of a sports blog when there are no sports? But I knew I’d probably find some interesting stories here. Mine goes like this (disclaimer: may not be interesting):
Worked from home today, took a couple hours to go shopping. I’ve been getting HEB delivery since my foot surgery, and it has worked out pretty well for me. Only a couple of times were the items I ordered not available, and only a couple of times were the deliveries later than the scheduled time.
But today I figured things might be fucked up, so I took the plunge and headed over to the grocery, around 11 AM. Figured if shit was not available, I would choose my own substitutes as opposed to whatever they decided on when I ordered online for delivery.
Parking lot was full, took a few minutes to find a parking space, and of course it was a fucking zoo in the store. Amazingly, the only thing they didn’t have on the shelf that I needed was them Hanover Butter Snap pretzels I crowed about here a week or two ago, but they are out of stock half the fucking time anyway. Water, milk, soda, eggs, tortillas, etc, everything was available, though you had to trip over the shelf-stockers continually. I can hang with that.
Liquor store still well stocked, loaded up enough hard liquor to see me through the weekend, anyway. Old buddy of mine came by on Wednesday, he brought me 3 bottles of 20+ year old Barolo that he can no longer drink due to health reasons but doesn’t want to give away to his mooching sons/sons-in-law. Good wine, hope it isn’t corked. Will find out Sunday.
Got my car inspected, registration paid, gas tank filled, dog prescriptions picked up. I’m good for at least a couple of weeks, as long as the power doesn’t go out.
Lots of email traffic from work. Lots of prep for getting everyone ready to telework. All travel for my command (USAF Installation & Management Support Center) cancelled until April 15, unless absolutely mission critical and you can justify it to the 2-star equivalent SES guy that runs our agency. The latest is that they want my branch to do one week telework, one week in office, so the place isn’t a ghost town. Not sure how I am going to approach this, since I’ve been teleworking for 3 months straight and only returned to the office for my first full day there this past Monday.
Favorite observation of the day: on an average visit to HEB, you will see at least two or three MAGA ballcaps on a regular day. Today, with hundreds of people in the store, I didn’t see fucking one. Went to my local wine bar for a couple hours, of course you know what everyone was talking about. But even the Trump Felchers were pretty subdued; I was hard put not to do some rubbing in of it. New re-election campaign slogan: “Make America Dead Again.”
I haven’t had the balls to look at my Thrift Savings Plan (Fed Govt 401K, essentially) balance in the last month, but if 2008 was any indication, at age 60 it looks like I’m now going to have to work until the day I die. At least the pay is good for now as a GS-13 Step 10.
REM song keeps playing on continuous loop in my head. You know which one.
This is the other one that’s on continuous for me. I wish they would put this movie out on the DVD:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uZOQEQmkO0&list=TLPQMTQwMzIwMjDthZxDpO0YkQ&index=2
“Aside from that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”
Let me know how that Barolo is.
I can’t wait. But I’m not going to drink them by myself; going to visit the guy who helped me out immensely in various and sundry ways during my surgery recovery and share it with him and his wife.
Hey, if we’re gonna make Joe the leader of the free-by-some-measure-I-guess world, maybe someone needs to get in there and start Weekend At Bernie’s 3 early. Of course, there’s the very real possibility that the virus goes through the federal government like wildfire, so it could be moot.
Only way we will get rid of the old as fuck Congress members.
I was kind of saddened when I saw that Trump has finally cancelled or rescheduled some of his Nuremberg rallies. I had kind of hoped that if he kept holding them, it might thin the herd somewhat.
Going now to refill my glass. I am angry and going to punch someone in the cock.
Joke’s on you – I have a tiny cock!
How big are your hands and fingers? It matters!
I want to use her tits as a fucking gasmask. If I bury my face in there, ain’t no corona virus getting in.
And my parents are 80, that’s a huge worry for me. I can’t go see them because my youngest is sick, and the doc said don’t even risk it. Fuck. And today’s drive into Baltimore…it was atrocious. People can’t drive, they should be pulled out of their cars and crucified. Where’s my fucking drink?
With Michigan being off for 3 weeks, was thinking about taking my kid up north to spend a few weeks with his grandparents. Of course, then I remembered that his mom is a paramedic in Flint, and it would probably be ill-advised to deliver my son to their doorstep like a small pox-laced blanket, and not just because they’re Native American.
My dad’s 83, my mom turns 80 on St Paddy’s day next week. Fortunately, they live way the fuck out in the countryside (nearest HEB or Walmart is 40 miles), so their isolation works in their favor. I’m not even gonna go visit for mom’s birthday, thought I am sure it’s safe. (Other problem is right foot still hurting from surgery, don’t want to do 2+ hours on curvy roads where cruise control is not an option).
And another thing, shit is so quiet around where I live. It’s eerie. I made some noise by banging my nuts on a hollow metal garbage can. That worked, for awhile.
And I am still unable to post a video from YouTube on this goddamn site. i have a master’s in marketing, how can I not do this? Am I fucking dumb? Has the bourbon rotted my cortex? Is Scott Baio even listening to my muttered curses?
The Bunker is full of liquor, beer, a shotgun, shells, and oh yeah, food. I’m ashamed of my country and how the fuckwits in charge handled this. Also, every person at my office today had taken a full does of asshole pills. I’m going outside to punch a tree.
Hello, I just bet on Australian and Indonesian futbol. Soon I will be asking Don T if he has any Puerto Rican buddies who televise cockfights.
LMFAO. The last thing I want to see is Don-T’s cock.
So, you want to see litre’s more?
I will not dignify that with a response.
O CANA-DONG
Well, you’re gonna
Don_T’s cock appears armed.