Hello there imaginary friends.
No one needs to hear me talk this week. So I’m not gonna. Well not much at least.
For the most part it seems all of us are holding our own (no pun intended). And I’m happy for that. I wish all of you and yours the very best of course. And I hope when all of this passes I’ll be able to see youse eye to eye again soon.
There are no sports to speak of so we’re just gonna skip that. Oh wait, maybe I was wrong…
Nope I was right. So no moar sports talk. Yes part of that is because I’m lazy and want to take a nap.
That also means it’s a weird-ish theme this week.
But Let’s dance.
But HEY HEY HEY HEY!!! HOW ‘BOUT A SONG????
–
Something Random
Ooops, hang on…
…
…
…
OK, sorry, I’m back.
As I was typing this out the phone rang. Robocaller. Thought once again I’d be stupid enough to give them my credit card information. I always ask them certain questions. Which questions I ask depends upon what mood I’m in. But this time I asked where they were located?
Liar on my phone: Atlanta, Georgia.
Me: Hehehehe…. Now I gotcha I thought. So I asked…. “What major Interstate Highway runs straight through Atlanta north to south?”
LOMP: I don’t know that.
Me: Then how do you get to work? And do you think I’m stupid enough to give my financial information to some jerkoff who is in a calling center in Pakistan? Get a real job.
LOMP: Fuck you. [click]
I don’t know why I bother screwing with these people but it just amuses me. When I can get them to curse me out? Or lose their temper so much that they tell me they want to come fuck my wife or my daughter (happens more often than you’d think). Well good luck with that dicknose. I don’t have either. I once had one tell me he was going to come fuck my mother. I laughed because my mother would kill his ass in a heartbeat.
I’d actually kinda like to see that truth be told.
And yes, that is me on the right. I’m working that ‘Fro goddammit.
But seriously, scams are ramping up. Please remember that banks and credit card companies will not call and ask you for your information. Guard yourselves against that.
–
OK, Now Some Sexy
But sorry gents. You guys can post girls in the comments of course.. But this week it’s one for the ladies.
Enjoy it Ladies…
OK, that’s not alright. No one wants to see that. Come on dude.
And of course Google now thinks I’m gay.
Have a nice weekend everyone. Stay safe.
Love ya’s.
–
If you are into semi-predictable police procedurals in dreary, depressing locals (there are a lot of these), I binged and enjoyed this one:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9100822/
I tuned into Liam Neeson in Cold Pursuit and thought it was another of those typical ‘relative killed/ kidnapped must fix with thousands of dead bodies’ movie and I’m going to watch it anyway, but was pleasantly surprised.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5719748/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_11
Logan’s Run.
American Werewolf in London
The doofus charm works a lot too.
…. and pirate charm is not really happy about it, but has bigger problems.
Gonna crash
I certainly hope everyone here has learned how to bake from scratch by now!
/taps foot seriously
There will be a pop quiz on Tuesday!
My crack tutor
I am going to die lonely, alone and unsupportable unless my friend supplies some Filipina support that he guarantees. Not sure I am ready for that.
We know plenty of squids who married an LBFM back in the day. Most of them are still married, in sharp contrast to the ones that married their high school sweetheart. Gumby and I are a rare exception, at 38 years.
I haven’t heard the term “LBFM” since 1985.
So, getting along on the High Road to China thing, I’d say yeah, Bess Armstrong is doable, even by this 60 year old guy who would have to do three Viagra just to get in the running.
https://vm.tiktok.com/WqgrRg/
Nice pussy
I would’ve thought this is more your style https://www.tiktok.com/@missangievilla/video/6792582371070708998
Oh, wait. I saw that clicking on the #bikinichallenge hashtage.
Well, actually, no. The point stands.
She is!
KITTEH!!1!1!
Just in time for the weekend, I got a delivery of craft beer. Purely to support small local business, you understand. I mean, I’ll have to try one or two of course.
Meh, those oily guys just don’t do it for me. Someone was talking earlier about the 90’s La Femme Nikita. The Canadian guy, Michael? That’s a fantasy type feller, for sho. I’ve always appreciated a hockey player, and I know you will boo and hiss at me for this, but young Barry Melrose could GET IT! Commence the slut shaming in 3…2…1…
Looks like a total party!
I’m thinkin’ back in the day Berry SCORED an Avalanche of Canadian pussy, eh? There is probably some little Berrys running around that are not carryin’ the honored Melrose name.
He was definitely offsides more times than he was called.
Worse, the goalie was pulled most of the time.
He also got caught using an illegal stick.
Hokey sex jokes is what I was hoping four.
You should check out the film where the actor who played Michael stars as Rocket Richard….
Woooo, I’m fanning my ladybits! That is one seriously fine man!
You might need to break out your Henri Richard.
Made by Hitachi!
I learned a long time ago that what women find hot and what we think you think is hot (basically, what we want in our masculine idols) is absurdly different.
Hey, attraction is attraction. There is only a couple of people here that will denounce someone’s taste of attraction, and that mainly has been the internet bullshit of “I don’t like it so it sucks!” routine. If you had a t-shirt that said LADY BONER FOR BERRY or one that had an arrow pointing to your nether regions labeled THIS IS MELROSE PLACE, I’m think most would laugh. Also, very little judgement of perceived odd fetishes….. ’cause everybody has a few.
Oh my God, Melrose Place, I’m dying!
Well fuck. The old laptop that runs my plex server just died. Good thing replacement PC parts are easy to get delivered now.
I couldn’t be bothered to cook tonight.
Another one I saw at the base theater in Karamursel. I have the DVD. Watch it somehow if you can. Fookin’ Peter O’Toole, the woman he ended up marrying, and some brilliant aviation footage.
Best label in CT
?resize=400%2C300
Going with ‘Green Room’ tonight. Probably gonna root for the guys who aren’t nazis.
How is that?? The beer, I mean.
Very good, as long as you like hazy NE IPAs with a heavy dose of citrus/tropical flavors.
If you don’t like those things then it would probably suck.
I do like hazy NE IPAs, not so much a heavy dose of citrus/tropical flavors…. depends on how they are weaved in the flavor. Thank you for the review.
Decided to go with High Road to China. Total escape from reality in a milieu that I like. Bess Armstrong seems kinda hot.
Just because you don’t go out doesn’t excuse you not to bathe.
https://www.instagram.com/adambravin/live/
Now that there is a set of titties that will make men win wars.
I won a war today. Viva didn’t watch that trash Tim Allen show.
Bring me all the oiled TATAs
“My Viet Nam was Herpes in the 1970s”
Do I really need to say who it was that said that?
If we’re talking movies I’ve been trying to kill time during quarantine with one late night movie each night after everyone goes to bed at Casa de Cornblower, starting this week, and here’s a list so far:
1. Revolt. Space aliens attack East Africa. Really bad. Incoherent ending that was clearly a set up for a sequel that will never be made. Looks like the budget was $15.
2. Code 8, (I think). Mutants are oppressed and turn to crime to get by. How did Marvel not sue over this? Meh. Clearly going for a sequel, but at least the ending was coherent and the budget was a good four figures.
3. It Comes At Night. So do I, but you don’t see me bragging about it. Has Joel Egerton in it, who I like, but the movie was a tremendous disappointment. And I’ll tell you right up front the dog dies.
4. Death of Stalin. Best of the lot by a country mile. Darkly hilarious. Jason Isaacs was fantastic in a limited role and Steve Buscemi had me in tears. Well worth your time.
Only actual movie I’ve watched was the original “True Grit,” which I think set a record for the most ham-handed references to the title.
“So why did you hire that guy?”
“I was told he had true grit. But maybe he doesn’t”
(John Wayne shoots somebody)
“I guess he’s got grit after all! The true grit!”
Not a bad film, but man the Academy was setting a low standard if Wayne’s acting was considered great. Weird to see Robert Duvall in a small role as a bad guy.
If you watch the Jeff Bridges/Coen Brothers remake, make sure you have the subtitles on.
Saw that in the theater. Understood roughly 1/3 of what was said.
Isaacs rules in Death of Stalin.
Escape from New York is on Amazon Prime. A bunch of free shit is on the HBO app for the next week or so.
Patton got shot in the ass getting lost in his single combat engagement in WW1. If he were to be reincarnated, Trump would probably be it.
THayt is not the chin of George C. Scott I remember!
Well, I spent most of the afternoon and evening recording a fraction of the many things I have on my plate. How the hell am I just as busy now as I was during the real world?
Maybe it’s the world evening out for me being unable to express myself or do anything that involves brain function or typing.
These “Liberate” gatherings are 100% Republican Party astroturf operations organized by groups like FreedomWorks just like the Tea Parties were a decade ago. Same assholes. Same goals. Same oligarch beneficiaries of the useful idiots they recruit and deploy.
In a civilized country, the GOP would have long ago been recognized for what it is – a terrorist apocalypse cult.
And of course these are 1:1 the same people who, after 9/11, gleefully chose security over liberty when Republicans demanded that.
Americans are the dumbest people in the world and we have the largest military in the world precisely so that no one at home or abroad can ever stop us from destroying the rest of it.
Rich Douchebags: “We’d like to run the country how we please, which is to treat the working class and the poor like shit while paying a pittance in taxes.”
GOP Supporters: “Will you at least assure me that you’ll treat the black and brown people worse than me?”
RDs: “Of course!”
GOPS: “Deal! OH SWEET FREEDOM!”
Democrats: “Er, pardon me, but it seems like maybe we could make things better for everybo…..”
GOPS: “FUCK YOU COMMIE, DON’T TAKE MY FREEDOM AWAY!”
Civil war coming. Go buy arms and bullets while you still can.
I am very close to buying guns for just this reason.
Also zombies. Fuck them.
I’d be more worried about Trumpistas than any kind of zombies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKrkQUBysMk
Confession: I’ve never seen Galaxy Quest, because fuck Tim Allen. It’s three bucks on Amazon Prime and does have Sigourney Weaver, who scares me because she’s tall but attracts me because she is a brunette. Also there’s a 90 minute documentary about the making of the movie available for free on Prime. I don’t really want to watch the doc without having seen the film. Should I bend to the sorta inevitable, or should I blow it off because Fuck Tim Allen? Which way should I flop?
Steer clear of all of it.
Find anything else to better spend your time.
You sir, are either wrong or sober. Either way, drive me to the store.
Wrong it is. Don’t bother with the seat belt.
You should see it, because Alan Rickman,
It’s good, and yeah, fuck Tim Allen with Trump’s mushroom cock.
I say watch GQ. Not sure you really need to see the documentary.
Galaxy Quest isn’t fantastic, but it’s a solid comedy, and an affectionate parody of classic sci-fi. Certainly worth an hour and a half during quarantine.
What this guy said. And I’ve met him, so he’s solid. Not a great kisser as I remember.
You have to pay extra for tongue.
Several thumbs up and one thumbs down; sorry Mr. Ayo, and thank you, but I think I am going to have to go with the herd here. But now I just realized I’ve never seen Tom Selleck in High Road to China, which might go to the head of the line…
Galaxy Quest is great as is the whole cast, and Tim Allen is perfect in it.
BTW, what’s with the Tim Allen hate? What did he do, I can never keep up with this shit.
Fuck that guy. He survived on public assistance 30 years ago, but is now against it.
https://www.sanluisobispo.com/entertainment/tv/article174492846.html
In fact, double- fuck Tim Allen. With a rusty chainsaw.
So what? Why do you even care what he thinks? He doesn’t control who gets welfare, so who cares?
Galaxy Quest is a great movie and he’s perfect in it. I’ve never seen anything else he’s ever been in, including that tool show on TV.
I will watch it with the same suspension of hatred that I employ when watching Tom Cruise, the right wing guy on Justified , Clint Eastwood, and any other Hollywood person with whom I politically disagree
Some of them are just more eminently hateable and others less so.
Also, getting busted for transporting more than a pound of coke. Ratting out everyone he could to save his ass.
But, he was an impressionable youngster of 25 with a college degree, so he got 2+ years.
https://www.crimemuseum.org/crime-library/celebrity-mugshots/tim-allen-mugshot/
But, its all white.
So?
See? This guy gets it.
Gets what? I don’t get it.
I’ll spell it out. Tim Allen is a hypocritical piece of shit who has taken advantage of or done things he now condemns, and he likely only condemns them because his audience of slack-jawed morons pays that condemnation lip service while they themselves spend their free time cashing Social Security checks for bullshit disabilities and huffing paint. His ‘comedy’ is, at best, lazy, and generally relies on “men good, women stupid’ stereotypes. I wouldn’t piss on Tim Allen if he were on fire on my front step, although I probably would give him a good kick in the ribs so as to roll his burning carcass away from the door. In conclusion, fuck Tim Allen.
Galaxy Quest is a fine movie, but if someone didn’t want to see it because they didn’t want to contribute to Tim Allen’s income stream I would understand it.
Wilson should have murdered him.
See, that’s the kind of honest commentary I come to DFO for.
Once again, so what? Did he stick his finger in your butthole? Should his movies be banned? What fucking difference does it make?
A lot of this negative shit is getting tiresome. There’s my honest commentary.
Everyone here would like for Jerry Jones to be skull fucked by a rhino, and no one needs to defend that, so we have already decided we don’t need to rationalize hating shitty people. I acknowledge that there are problematic people whose work I actively enjoy consuming, but he got famous for grunting and doesn’t contribute anything to my world, so he seems like a fine candidate for dumping hate into.
Speak only for yourself. I only asked why the hate. You can disagree with anything you want, including me. But if you’re full of hate then you are killing your own humanity.
You spelled out nothing, Horatio. I only asked “why the hate?” (Look it up above, it’s in writing). I never suggested what anybody should do or not do. I just asked “why the hate” for someone you’ve never met and who never harmed you. Your move, barrister.
Horatio: -1
Brick: +1
Also got busted selling, or trying to sell, cocaine, and sold everyone out for a lesser sentence.
Kinda surprised he’s still alive, actually,
Netflix announced a second season of the Cowboy Bebop live action adaptation. They haven’t aired the first season yet. It started development a year ago, and probably won’t come out for another year. It doesn’t even have a trailer.
I miss waking up to futbol tomorrow morning.
Jamin
https://twitter.com/AdamSandler/status/1251134052511256586
Now are you sure you’re not gay morty?
“Morty, listen to me! I need you to get to the left nipple!! Can you do that!?”
“If you’ll shut up, Rick, I think I can get to both!”
Be careful going out, people.
I’m only going in, so no problem here.
Look, I realize my first audition tape wasn’t the best. But I’ve stopped smoking since then.
Doesn’t look like you inhaled anyway. No harm, no foul.
That was some good catering
The script said to score a chick!!!
Inhaled that sammich!
Need more spaghetti western-inspired JRPGs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eq4sxwyr5Do
She doesn’t seem to be suffering the negative effects of lockdown as badly as some other people (looking at you, Lansing Michigan).
I mean, she clearly doesn’t need me…
Wait what?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF5tYjDIjIs
Did I get an air fryer today? Yes. Did I eat the first batch of hot wings out of it while leaning over the sink to avoid the work involved in using a plate? As I understand it, if the rest of the family doesn’t see it, it didn’t happen.
Tater tots are a welcome tradition to any boozy brunch. Get the big bag. Trust me.
Found a funny:
Enter password:
“ScoobyDoo”
sorry password must contain a special character
ScoobydooFeaturingBatman
Listen, we wanna know how yer spending the lockdown. Send us, for posting, your tales of resiliency, pantslessness etc. etc. to [email protected]. And when the pandemic ends, the “Published Author” in your résumé can be fact-checked.
No one wants the details of my miserable, antisocial piece of shit life
You are social with us and that’s good!
You’re worth more than what you say. Be well. There’s plenty of good wishes for you.
Is there a suspense date? How long can I lollygag and procrastinate on fulfilling your request? I would like to participate, but don’t want to be forced to participate, kinda like the protesters in Lansing.
Just submit it before extinction.
Good to know I have a couple weeks.
I’m straight, but if I had to do a guy, I’d be happy to jump Daniel Craig’s rump.
?mw=600
Or Elvis, but young Elvis.
You don’t fuck Elvis.
Elvis fucks you.
It’s April 17th and we’re supposed to get 3-5″ tonight.
The only person happy about that is Deanna Favre.
The arrow is helpful when she passes out.
And she will pass out.
h
ttps://i.pixxxels.cc/RZcPsRCB/8ofm27w3s4r41.jpg