I’m curious if any of you remember Bob Hope. There’s a reason the Burbank airport is named after him, you know. Bob Hope was a great all-around entertainer. He sang, he danced, he was a comedian, he could play the straight man. He was part of a great duo with Bing Crosby in the “On The Road” movies and he also had great success in movies on his own.
I was introduced to Bob Hope and his movies/comedy by my grandmother on my dad’s side. She greatly enjoyed his movies, even if they were dubbed or subtitled in Spanish. The comedy and the funny still shone through.
This week, I am reminded of him because of one of the songs that became his calling card: “Thanks for the Memory”. It was originally sung in the movie “The Big Broadcast of 1938”.
It’s a wonderful song that’s appropriate for many occasions. When he sang it, he changed the lyrics to suit the situation, like seeing an ex or an old friend after many years or dedicating the song to a loved one that’s passed away.
I think you know where I’m going with that. Here’s the song from the movie, for your enjoyment:
Of course, this being me, I can’t just leave well enough alone with something sentimental.
I don’t know how many of you know of Dave Attell and his comedy. Simply put, he’s one of the funniest comedians, to me, that I’ve ever seen/heard. Some of us elder folk around this site have quoted him or paraphrased his jokes frequently.
He did a comedy album named “Skanks for the Memories”, a play on Bob Hope’s song. The entire album is brilliant. I bought it on CD and if it was vinyl, I would have worn out the grooves by now.
/Millenials wonder what the fuck I’m talking about.
Here’s a playlist that someone uploaded to YouTube that has the whole album:
If you want to laugh your ass off, I suggest you hit play.
***
Sprots News
The AFL announced that Aussie Rules will resume games starting on June 11. Those of you that are International Members have the Watch AFL package with your membership and can watch through their app.
If you’re not a member, you can still get the Watch AFL app and catch every game. Most games are on the weekends going from the evening to the early morning in North America.
***
I’m not tWBS, so you’re not going to get a happy message or some motivational words. You’ll get some dirty dirty girls and you’ll like it. Without further ado, here are this week’s Tik Tok girls (or Tik Tok skanks as someone referred to them last time. I think that’s a bit harsh, but your opinion is just as valid as mine). Enjoy:
***
And now, a new feature!
I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!
My aim each week will be to showcase a tune or band from the 80s (the best decade EVAR!) that not many people know about or have heard of. In this way, hopefully these artists will find new audiences and the old audiences can reminisce about what they were doing in the 80s.
The first song today is by a band named after a Jello-like dessert. Without the rapey spokesperson.
I speak, of course, of Blancmange. They were a duo from London that released their first album in 1982. I was in middle school then and I was fully embracing the new wave sounds coming from the UK. The first song that was played on the radio (KROQ here in LA and a handful of stations around North America that played new wave back then) was “Living On The Ceiling”.
That song married Middle-Eastern sounds with modern synths and a danceable beat to create something not really heard before. Here it is, for your enjoyment. Ten points to whoever can spot Ron Jeremy playing the North African bagpipes!
It was their follow-up that was released in 1983 that really defined what the 80s were to me: Weird and cool. It was not only acceptable, but expected for things to be weird and new in order to be considered cool.
Think of it as a Moose gif. It’s weird and you’ve never seen it before and it’s cool all at the same time and that’s why it works. It can’t just be weird or new, it needs to be cool too. But it could never be cool without being weird. Does that make sense?
From the very beginning of this song, you can tell this is something different. The video’s visuals only reinforced this.
I invite you to imagine a Young Balls in a dark middle school gym dancing with a cute girl while “Blind Vision” played. Those were great days indeed.
The band had another big US hit with “Don’t Tell Me”, but I found that one too “poppy” for my tastes, so I won’t link to it here. I do invite you to check out the band on YouTube and see if there are any other songs Blancmange created that you might like.
***
That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to maintain the social distancing so that cases/deaths don’t spike and the easing of regulations doesn’t stop. See you next week!
I’m just posting this to piss the socks, sox guys off.
I NEW Monica has a hidden bi-side!
The beach is open?
https://gfycat.com/mindlessshamelessasiaticgreaterfreshwaterclam
She learned from the master.
I guess Scotchy is busy tonight.
So much Viggo penis in that bath house fight scene.
SWINGIN’!!
The NFL won’t allow Dave Portnoy to watch a MNF game with Goodell because Portnoy failed an NFL background check despite having been the highest bidder.
https://www.sportsbusinessdaily.com/SB-Blogs/Breaking-News/2020/05/Portnoy-NFL.aspx
What I love about this is that it makes both sides look like the assholes they truly are.
What was his complaint?
I see what you did there.
Not enough lotion.
SonOfSpam clifnotes…….. succinct summary.
Just read the book, man. We’re not going to spoil it here.
Liver is more than just a good source of iron.
Bandidas? haven’t thought of that movie in years.
Surprisingly disappointed. Stars Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz, but neither one gets naked and they don’t kiss once.
Yeah, that’s some quality schadenfreude right there.
How high are you?
Rotating between broken animal crackers and rainbow goldfish high.
Iliza Shlesinger; I’m not huge on her comedy, but I’m huge on her …….okay I am near average on her bod.
I’m a fan of both
She has a LOT on Netflix now.
Agreed. Very funny, and clearly works out.
Clearly.
Okay, people, let’s take another look.
God bless her, she knew what her talents were and took full advantage.
So….. not robbed on the Oscar?
I mean, maybe a ‘Razzie’
Wasn’t that a tv show?
Hey PAL; I know what you did last summer.
Yes, the GIF is from a TV show, jesus.
Just double checking. Trying to track down what I can find on demand while watching it on mute
Yeah, you NEED to mute that one. Good call.
This is exactly what happens when you drink and have wheels on your couch. Be safe people.
Is that chinchilla?
No, that’s a woman.
Well, she hasn’t trimmed for a while, get with the lingo, man.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EZO1gcoWAAEycAp?format=jpg&name=small
The look of a man desperately wanting to say the -N- word but knowing he can’t.
Hey, appreciate the warning. And the fact that all that wood will burn quickly and easily.
I like the way you think.
Get in fuckers, I’m driving.
Refined sugar is bad, m’kay.
Coffee?
When I was taping Jeopardy my wife was on the Universal lot and chased Neve down so that she could see my then 3-month-old son. Neve was very nice, didn’t have my wife arrested, and rubbed my son’s leg and said he was cute.
I’ve hated him ever since.
Wait wait wait…when were you on the show?
’98.
Went 1-1.
Sorry if you’ve mentioned that before. My brain not too goodly these days.
Good jerb on the win!
I didn’t do that well. I always sucked at Opera, Bible, and 90’s TV trivia.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvUZijEuNDQ
You were on as well? When?
No, I just wanted to post the Weird Al/Greg Kihn video. But I wasn’t lying about sucking at those particular categories, whenever I watched. Used to watch Jeopardy and Wheel to hang (bond?) with my octo/nonagenarian grandfather when he lived with me. He was big on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire and PBA Bowling, too. He made it to 98, and would have been 104 next Saturday (D-Day anniversary as well).
Grandpas watching bowling is universal.
“Is Earl Anthony winning again Grampa?”
He gave up on PBA eventually. He thought the tech involved in bowling ball manufacture was cheating, just like dunking the basketball in the NBA and stripping the QB for fumbles in the NFL were also cheating.
I just came. IMO she is incredibly beautiful. I know that it is rare for someone in show biz to be attractive.
She was amazing.
I made a wonderful Chemex this morning. She would definitely approve.
A “fucking cocksucker” dropped live on CNN, if you’re wondering how 2020 is going.
Just watched a video of cops shooting directly at a news crew in Louisville while the crew was reporting live, so that’s new
Just here.
“Four dead in Minn-ee-a-pol– No, no, that won’t do.”
Too bad Prince liked his opioids.
Little dead suspect
Baby you knelt too long
Little dead suspect
You think we won’t riot you got us wrong
What? I like Prince songs. Shut up.
Some lessons need to be experienced by those who don’t get the concepts.
One way to make sure she never has to teach his children.
He’s currently 0-247 at tetherball.
Gotta love hillbillies:
They prefer to be called “sons of the soil”
When people say someone is the “salt of the earth”, I never understood why that was a good thing, I mean NaCl is fine, but lithium salts or arsenic salts really aren’t good for you.
DFO wishes to correct an error that appeared in this evenings program: You do not, in fact “gotta love hillbillies.”
They epitomize the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt” and as I am from the mountains of NC, I am very familiar with them.
I’m an Eastern Elitist from Washington DC, surrounded by hillbillies, in both MD and VA. They provided endless amusement to me, although way back when we called them “grits.” I look down on everyone else as well, but with no racial bigotry. You are all equally worthless.
Tough , but fair.
Let’s just take family breeds out of the sentence for a bit.
I invite you to imagine a Young Balls
“Way the fuck ahead of you!”
– J. Fogle
“Let us prey.”
-Catholic clergy (well, some of them anyway)
Still holds, 25 years on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8Y6XtOTT6A
You don’t need em, get a load of these old balls. – M. Chmura
The 80’s were indeed the best decade for music, and I don’t think I need to explain my reasoning for this…
I think you need to explain
Agreed.
Maybe rock hair, but no.
Every good movie in the 80s had a Kenny Loggins theme song. It’s science.
You are entering the Danger Zone, PAL.
I’m alright. Don’t nobody worry bout me.
Thinking maybe the DNC should consider giving Killer Mike the nomination
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxHWVJYXkeU
I’d vote for him in a cocaine heartbeat over Biden.
I like RtJ like the next middle-aged white guy, but he’s a bit too Berner for me.
Speaking of good music, Lady Commander clued me into these guys recently and holy shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQCbpr17iIg
I stop watching the news for one day and the world is (more) on fire. Goddamn. They’ve locked down the white house. Fucking hope they don’t start just launching drone strikes at this point.
They’re already practicing.
https://www.thedrive.com/the-war-zone/33756/customs-and-border-protection-predator-b-drone-appears-over-minneapolis-protests
I’d blow that up
I bet you would
Your dick is not as big as a potato.
But he does take a peeler to it regularly.
You made me cringe a tad; good job.
And “Cringe a Tad” sounds like a priest term.
I just need to FEEL, man.
I’m sure Hippo will judge me for this.
Papa Commander update: His surgery was supposed to run 6 hours and it ended up going about 10 (Doc Chao would’ve been mostly sober by the end of it), due to large amounts of scar tissue from his past 3 operations. That being said, his doctor said everything went “great” and time was the only thing lost. He’s been stable the entire time and is in recovery, before being moved to his room in a few hours, where he should wake up on his own for dinner and an eval. One does not get 5 vertebrae fused without some risk, and BOLTMAN damn am I happy to hear the good news.
That’s awesome! Glad to hear the good news!
He forgot his back brace in my Mom’s trunk when she dropped him off, and I had to hurry and run it over a couple hours ago to make sure it was there in time for him. Wish I could have found a way to sneak a beer in with it.
Awesome to hear! Glad everything went well!
Wow, a piece of good news for the day.
Excellent – thanks for the update!
I’m just going to assume that Boltman! got you the vertebrae at the last minute, that they were disturbingly fresh, and that you didn’t ask any questions.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Great news; make sure he does his PT.
Yeah, Pussy Tubing is important after surgery.
Okay both….. and PB&J.
Pud Blasting & Jizzing is also helpful.
Good to hear it.
This entire post has been in the head of Balls for quite some time.
Maybe we’re all a figment of Balls’ imagination
My extent of knowing Dave Attell is he came to my dojo one night to film Insomniac and got thrown around all over the place. I was not there as I was 11 or something. Occasionally I find the video!
Seriously? That’s cool!
You should play the YouTube video…
It looks like it was scrubbed from the Youtubes, because at the moment I can’t find it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1dPKfxRhk0
Lady Commander’s Ex is (was) a cop. She said she used to blast this anytime they would have get togethers at her place.
So, what are the odds that we get a Kent State-like incident this weekend? And where? My guess is DC.
Regrettably fairly high. We probably won’t even get a decent protest song about it either
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1PrUU2S_iw
Well, if they do, it will be hip-hop or rap, not CSNY style rock.
Ooh, I hope Creed does it.
/strikes Jesus pose
With heads blown open
I think this one is it, people.
Nah, they shot a white person at Kent State, they don’t do that anymore. Since it will be persons of color in the cross hairs, probably more like 75% likelihood.
This weekend? I think they are pretty low. The murderer is in custody and being charged, so I’m thoughting and prayering that things stay pretty chill over the weekend.
Isn’t Atlanta already burning down?
Has anyone seen Sherman?
Last I saw he was getting schooled by some dog
Huh. I would have thought a song called “Living on the Ceiling” was about living in Australia.
Or at Lionel Richie’s house.
Don’t live there, just go there to dance.
Blancmange: the new Green Day
Or Green Day: the new Blancmange?
The only blancmange I know of:
I think Betty White probably has a blancmange
Not tik too, but bikini
Deja View!
Do those girls sell the swimsuit bottoms after they’ve modeled them out in the hot sunshine for a few hours? They should.
In Japanese vending machines! Pitch it!
When I was in Japan back in the early 80’s, I never saw panties in the street vending machines, I guess they hadn’t got to that point yet. But you could buy airbrushed porn magazines and Suntory Whiskey. Weird fucking place. “James May: Our Man in Japan” on Amazon Prime shows this to good effect.
Fuck yeah Dave Attel. I loved Insomniac.
When I was growing up I would spend every other weekend at my dads place. He got satellite tv before anyone else I knew.
Comedy central and sci-fi channel were luxuries, and the bald man’s odyssey was part of that
Better drinking show than M*A*S*H….. there I said it.
I think Tik Tok Tramps, while still harsh, is better just for the alliteration.
Also, Attell rules. I’m watching that later tonight.
Tik Tok Tramps it is!